Chapter 19
At five o'clock the next morning, Olivia was out of bed, in the kitchen making coffee.
It did not surprise her at all to hear Mark moving back the hall, and to see him appear in the kitchen.
"Good morning," she said softly.
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
He saw that she was making coffee, and he grinned as she poured a cup of straight black and handed it to him.
"I did. Like a baby." She didn't really understand that saying. Her babies hadn't slept all night for at least four months. But he knew what she meant and nodded.
"I'm glad to hear it."
Thankfully, things weren't strained between them this morning as they had been last night after Ethan had prayed that Mark would be his dad and they could be a family together.
Olivia had wanted to sink through the floor.
It felt like he had gone on and on and on talking about how he wanted a dad and he wanted Mark to be it and he wanted Mark to be part of their family and all of that.
And Olivia wanted to lean over to Pastor Mark and say that she had not said anything about that and had not put that idea in his head at all.
But she didn't want to interrupt his prayer, and she also didn't want to draw more attention to it than it needed to be. Maybe Mark wasn't even paying attention to his prayer. After all, he was praying to God, not Mark.
Maybe Mark was thinking about the coming sermon, what he was going to talk about for Christmas.
She had no idea.
Still, it had been a little awkward when they met in the hall and she'd thanked him for his hospitality and told him she was taking a shower and then going to bed.
He seemed like he wanted to talk about something else, but she just wanted to escape.
But that was last night. Now, they both sat down at the kitchen table with their Bibles open, and an hour slipped by before she even knew it. There was companionable silence, and it felt good and right to have Mark beside her, as he talked to the Lord, just as she did.
She actually had a few things she was studying that she wouldn't have minded talking to him about, but she didn't want to bother him and didn't know how he felt about that.
Although, she kind of thought he wouldn't mind, considering that the night before he had explained that anytime he had a chance to talk about the Bible with someone, he eagerly did.
She had just opened her mouth to ask what he thought about a particular passage when his phone buzzed.
He looked over at it, picking it up and reading a text.
"That's John at the power company. He said that he thought the lights on the other side of the road might be on later today, possibly this afternoon. They think they've found the problem, but they need another truck, and everyone has been dispatched somewhere."
"Oh. That would be wonderful. I've been trying not to think about all the candles I have to make."
He grinned. "We have to make. Remember? I said I would help you."
"I do remember. But I also know that this is your busy time of year, and I don't expect you to help me if you just can't."
"You don't expect me to keep my word? Tell me you have higher standards for me than that."
"Well, when you put it that way, I guess I do expect you to help me."
He smiled at her, and he seemed totally at ease, which enabled her to feel like that as well.
"Well, that's good. It makes me feel better that we won't be inconveniencing you any longer, even though I know you said we weren't," she said, adding that last part when he put a hand up and opened his mouth as though he were going to contradict her.
She couldn't imagine that having people in his house, including two four-year-olds, wasn't an inconvenience at some level.
"I just really loved having the laughter and the splashing and the conversation and just everything about last night," he said.
That made her close her mouth and look down at her Bible on the table. Everything? Even when Ethan had prayed that Mark would be his dad?
She just did not have the nerve to ask that, and so she didn't say anything.
"Olivia, I am—" His phone rang, and she looked up, saw the frustration on his face, and thought for a second that maybe he wasn't going to answer.
"I'm sorry, I probably should get this. Unless you had something else you wanted to say?" he asked, and she thought maybe there was hope in his voice. Was he wanting her to bring that subject up?
There was no way. She wasn't going to say a word about that if she could get away with not. Although... what would it hurt? They could just talk about it and see how they felt.
Maybe he was okay with that idea. And honestly, she was busy being embarrassed about it, mostly because she was okay with that idea.
But she didn't want him to know, especially if he was looking for someone who was super spiritual and well respected in the community to be his wife. After all, that was hardly her.
She felt like she was hanging onto her spirituality by a thread.
The rift with her parents made her feel guilty, and she had been withdrawing from the community more than she realized.
Being shut up with everyone in the activity room made her see that she had been keeping herself from accepting help, and also from giving it.
She just had her head down, focused on all the things that she needed to do in order to function.
But that wasn't the kind of life she wanted to live.
"No. You go ahead and get it," she said, and he looked at her for another moment before he nodded, and then swiped.
She stood up, closing her Bible and putting it on the counter, before deciding that she might as well make some bread. Mark seemed to really like it, and she might as well make herself useful.
She hummed as he carried on a conversation in low tones while still seated at the table. And she moved around the kitchen, getting the ingredients out that she needed, and then running to the kitchen in the activity center in order to get yeast, which unsurprisingly, he didn't have.
By the time she got back and had the bread in a greased bowl to rise, Ethan came out, rubbing his eyes and looking sleepy.
It was about time for both of them to get up, and she bent down, picking him up and squeezing him to her. She loved this time of day when her kids were all cuddly from sleep, and before their hyper energy kicked in and they didn't want to be still for two seconds to get a hug from their mom.
"Are you hungry?" she asked, looking at the bacon and eggs that she'd brought over from the activity center that had been left over.
People had donated them to help feed the people the church was housing, and she figured that meant she could go ahead and use them, since the church was still technically housing her.
"I am! Are you making breakfast?"
"I sure am, buddy. Why don't you grab a chair, and you can help me crack some eggs."
She set Aiden down, and then cautioned him, "Pastor Mark is on the phone, so you need to be quiet, okay?"
He nodded, used to such a command, because she'd had no choice but to conduct business around her children, and they knew that occasionally she needed to be on the phone and they needed to be quiet. They actually did a pretty good job with that, although they were children, not perfect.
"I hope it's okay with you if I go out. There are a few people that need me to check on them."
She turned around quickly, not realizing that Mark had ended his phone call.
"Of course not. I wouldn't want to keep you from doing your job."
He looked at her as though he wanted to say something else, was thinking about something, but he just shook his head.
"Please make yourself at home. Use whatever you need to, help yourself to anything. There's nothing you can do that will hurt anything."
"Thank you. I have a few ideas that might involve homemade bread, if you don’t mind."
"Of course I'm not going to mind anything that you cook, and who in the world would fuss about homemade bread?" He grinned. "I'll be looking forward to it."
There was something about his smile that made her stomach curl. That, and the fact that he was looking forward to eating with her.
"I'm serious. Help yourself to anything." He glanced over his shoulder. "And don't worry about the boys. There's nothing they can hurt."
"I might want to go over and check out my shop and apartment."
"If you don't mind waiting, I'll do it with you. Even if we do it after we put the boys to bed." He looked over his shoulder. "By then the lights might be on, and I can get started on fulfilling my promise of helping you."
She grinned, but then her brows drew down. "I don't want to take you from your other duties."
"You are just as important as anyone else in my flock." He opened his mouth as though to say more, but then closed it. "And I promised I would help you. I like to keep my promises if at all possible. I feel like that's important."
She jerked her head in a nod. Of course it was important. Especially for a pastor, but for anyone who claimed to be a Christian, they needed to do what they said they were going to do.
"All right. Well, let me know when you're getting back. I'll make sure there's hot food for you."
"Oh boy. You're going to spoil me."
"Sounds like it's about time someone did," she said, although she turned back to the stove and did not watch for his reaction.
Maybe she shouldn't have said it, but she was getting the impression that he gave all of himself for anyone who needed it, and there was no one here to look after him.
To make sure he was eating and taking care of himself, and being there to take care of him.
"Olivia?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
Her hands stilled on the rag as she wiped the counter, but then she looked over her shoulder. "Of course. Like I said, someone needs to."