Chapter 21
"I think they're asleep," Olivia said, as she backed away from the twins' door. It was cracked just a bit, and she could see them snuggled under the blankets, sleeping peacefully.
"All right. It's obvious that your side of the street is still dark, but I've got flashlights."
Mark held out a light for her, and she thanked him as she took it.
"Have you heard any updates?" Honestly, being with Mark in his house, spending the evening with him and the boys had felt like family. She really wouldn't mind staying, which made her feel like she really needed to go.
"No. I haven't heard anything."
"All right," she said, hating that she felt relief. Like she would have another night and morning in the kitchen with Mark, making coffee, laughing together, reading their Bibles and having devotions at the table as the sun came up.
She couldn't think of anything she would rather do. She'd never felt so comfortable with someone, and so... cared for without being smothered.
After she got her coat on and wrapped her scarf around her neck, tucking the edges into her coat, he opened the door for her, and they walked out onto the sidewalk.
"It looks so odd, with one side of the street being all lit up."
She had to agree. "I've never seen the town quite like this."
"I don't know that this is normal, but it seems to be a fluke of the storm."
As they strolled, snow flurries fell softly, not enough to amount to anything, just enough to make it feel cozy.
But as she stepped out to cross the mostly deserted street, lights blinked on the other side, and then came on.
"Look! Perfect timing." Mark smiled, and then looked at her.
She knew she was supposed to be happy, but she was watching him. Was he happy to finally get the rest of the people out of his house? It felt like it, but there was definitely something that looked like disappointment on his face. Probably the same look that was on hers.
"Well, that's great. We can see how everything fared, now that the lights are on," she said. God's timing was perfect, she supposed. And if she wasn't supposed to stay with Mark, then that was the way it was.
She pulled the key out of her pocket, and Mark glanced at her, then held his hand out for it.
It made her feel like he was taking care of her again. Unlocking the door, walking with her while she checked on things, but not pushing in, or making her feel like she couldn't handle it on her own. Just making her feel like he cared and wanted to take care of her. It was a good feeling.
"This will be good news for your candle orders. And for your bottom line."
"Yeah. I've been eager to get started. Part of the reason I stayed so busy today was so that I wasn't thinking about what I needed to do."
"I’ll help you. We'll get that done."
She nodded, stepping into the shop as he opened the door for her.
She appreciated him caring and being concerned that her business was profitable.
He really didn't need to, and they both knew it, but he did.
Although, she had to admit to herself that it wasn't just her.
He was like this with everyone. Always going out of his way to do whatever he could to help.
Maybe she wasn't as special as she wanted to think she was.
"Well, it doesn't look like any pipes burst, at least not down here," she said as she glanced around, checking the sink in the bathroom and the one out by her workshop.
"You know, I don't hear your furnace running," Mark said thoughtfully.
"Now that you mention it, I don't either." Olivia tilted her head, as though that would help her hear better, but he was right. The furnace was not running.
"If you don't mind, I'll go ahead and go down to the basement and see what I can find."
"I don't mind at all. I'm gonna go upstairs and look around. I shut the water off down there, so would you mind turning it on... or... maybe not. I guess if the furnace isn't running, we better not turn the water back on."
"No. And that showed a lot of foresight on your part, and would be the reason why the pipes aren't leaking."
She made quick work of going upstairs and looking around. The apartment was small, with only two small bedrooms and a living room, dining room, kitchen combo.
Everything looked just fine, and she had packed well, forgetting nothing, so there wasn't anything she needed to pick up. She had drained the toilet as well as the faucets, so no water dripped out at all.
The lights worked just fine, but still, she felt no heat from the registers.
As she walked back downstairs, Mark was coming up from the basement.
She waited until he had gotten to the top and closed the door.
She hated going down there. Even though there were lights, it was still dark and creepy, and she always felt like she was going to see some kind of animal huddled back in the corner.
She never had, but that didn't make it less scary for her.
"Well?" she asked.
His lips pressed together, and he shook his head. "I tried the relay switch, and a couple of other little tricks I know. I'm not a repairman or a furnace expert by any stretch, and I'll just be honest. I have no idea whether it's something that's fixable or not. But I couldn't get it to work."
"I know nothing about furnaces, and I would have no idea of what to do. Or actually, I wouldn't even be able to find the furnace, I don't think. Unless it says 'furnace' on it."
He laughed, and she supposed it was funny. Although she doubted that anything in the basement had a label on it.
"I guess I'll need to call the furnace repairman, but I'll probably wait until morning. Unless...I don't want to overstay my welcome—"
"You and the boys are welcome to stay as long as you need to. And if that means that you're still in my house this time next Christmas, I'm totally fine with that." He paused for just a moment, and then he said, "The congregation might have some problems with it, though."
"Oh, having a woman living with you?" She nodded. "Yeah. That probably doesn't look very good."
"Giving you a place to stay while you don't have electricity or heat," he added with emphasis on the heat, "is perfectly fine. And you can stay as long as you want to. If anyone says anything, I can find a different place to go."
"No way. I will not allow that to happen. You are not allowed to leave your home while I stay there with my kids."
"Olivia." His voice was soft, and it made her lift her head, meeting his eyes. His hand came out and touched her arm.
She was very aware of her breath, how it kind of stuttered in her lungs with each intake, and how her heart all of a sudden felt like it was running a race.
"Olivia. I don't want to make things weird between us. But you know how we were talking about God's timing, and how He arranges things perfectly?"
She nodded.
"I was thinking that maybe He did that for us.
No pressure," he added quickly, as though he wanted to make sure that he wasn't insisting that she needed to do something that she wasn't feeling.
She wanted to tell him he didn't need to worry about that.
But she kept her mouth closed while he continued.
"I find myself drawn to you. Thinking about you when you're not around.
When I'm gone, my eyes seem to find you in whatever room we're in, and I want to watch you.
I... I don't know exactly what that means, whether you feel anything too.
But I want to be careful about my feelings.
I think sometimes we get carried away with how we feel, and we run ahead of what God wants for us.
But I suppose that's where I started. It feels like God might want something for us.
At least that's the way it seems on my end. "
She nodded. "I’ve thought that too. I have the same feelings where I have a tendency to want to watch you. But I would be a terrible choice for a pastor's wife. And I wouldn't want to play around with just dating for dating's sake."
"Same. There's no question that if I'm going to be interested in someone, it's going to lead to marriage, and that is going to happen quickly. I don’t want to date for years and years like we can’t make up our minds about what God’s will is.
Or we're going to make a decision quickly that we're not right together. Because dating just for the sake of having someone to date and having it drag on while we’re all wishy-washy is not something that I want to have anything to do with. "
"Me too." She couldn't believe he was admitting that or saying that. She wasn't sure she'd ever met a man who didn't want to try out the wares, so to speak.
"What does this mean?" she asked, knowing that the part of her that always needed to know where things were going, what was going to happen, was coming out.
He shook his head. "I don't know. I hadn't gotten any further than wanting to check and see if that might be something that you might be interested in."
"I'm definitely interested. But I agree with you that I don't want it to be based on feelings, or at least feelings alone.
I want us to... if I'm going to be with someone, it's got to be following God's leading first, and I think that means making sure that we're on the same page.
And you didn't address the fact that I would be a terrible pastor's wife. "
"I disagree. You're great with people, you're patient with children, and you're good with them.
Plus, you're a good cook. You did an excellent job of whatever needed to be done while we were all cooped up together.
Plus, sometimes when I've talked to you, I thought to myself that you know the Bible as well or better than I do. "
"Knowing it and living it are two different things."
"I don't live it perfectly. I certainly wouldn't expect anyone else to. And God doesn't expect us to. He knows we have a sin nature. Although, that doesn't give us license to sin. It just means that God knows that we're not going to be perfect. Otherwise we wouldn't need Jesus."
"True."
"How about we figure out what we're gonna do with your furnace, then we'll close things up here, turn the lights out, and we'll go over and I'll make a couple of cups of hot chocolate and we can sit down and maybe talk a little bit?
Decide if both of us want to go in the same direction?
" He smiled and then he said, "And maybe you can laugh a little, because every time you laugh, it just warms me from the inside out.
I don't think that I could ever get tired of hearing that sound. "
Maybe those weren't the most romantic words in the world, but if they weren't, Olivia couldn't think of anything that would make her heart swell or feel warmer, and make her want to move closer and be with someone. He loved her laugh? It was definitely a great start.