13. Ivy
13
IVY
I never expected to fall into such easy rhythms with Julian. The morning light streams through the floor-to-ceiling windows as I pad into the kitchen, already knowing he'll be there with two cups of coffee - mine with a splash of cream, his black as night.
"Good morning." His deep voice wraps around me like silk as I take my usual seat at the marble island. He slides my cup over without looking up from his tablet.
The coffee is perfect, as always. Everything about Julian is measured, precise. Even the way he's trained me to wait for his approval before getting dressed each morning. I stay in my robe until he selects what I'll wear.
"The red two piece today." He sets his cup down with a soft clink. "No heels."
I nod, sipping my coffee. The warmth spreads through my chest, matching the flutter when his eyes meet mine over the rim of his cup. I've learned to read the minute changes in his expression - the slight softening around his eyes means he's pleased.
The apartment feels more like home with each passing day. Julian lets me add small touches here and there - fresh flowers in crystal vases, soft throw pillows in rich jewel tones. This morning, I'm hanging garland along the balcony railing while he works in his study.
"Spread it out more on the left." His voice startles me. I didn't hear him approach, but suddenly he's there, pulling at the edge of the garland until it falls into place. "Perfect."
The praise only makes me want more, makes me want to do everything I can to please him. I find myself seeking it more and more - arranging things just so, anticipating his preferences. When did his approval become as essential as breathing?
"Thank you." I turn to look at him. "The apartment looks beautiful."
He hums, a soft vibration that ghosts across my ear. He doesn't elaborate, but he doesn't need to. I understand what he means - I'm learning his ways, his routines, his expectations. And strangest of all, I'm finding peace in them.
I am a little caught off guard when he presses his hands to my low back, guiding me inside. "It needs a few more touches."
He takes me to the tree I helped him decorate two weeks ago. Sitting on the table next to it is a few unmarked white boxes. His expression remains neutral, but there's a glimmer in those ice-blue eyes.
"Open it." He nods to the box.
Inside, nestled in layers of tissue paper, are exact replicas of my grandmother's glass bird ornaments - the ones I mentioned offhandedly weeks ago. The delicate silver spheres catch the light, tossing the rainbows I love so much. My throat tightens.
"How did you-"
"Glass bird ornaments aren't common." He lifts one carefully. "It didn't take me long to track down a set I thought you'd like."
I take the ornament from him, memories flooding back of decorating my grandmother's tree as a child. The weight feels exactly right in my palm. "They're perfect."
Julian steps back, giving me space as I begin placing them on the tree. The sound system plays softly in the background - holiday classics filling the room. I'm lost in the peaceful moment until one song starts.
That fucking song from the night in his office.
The ornament in my hand trembles. Suddenly, I feel suffocated, the music pulling me back to that moment as I watched Travis fuck his assistant, to the way that he made me feel so disregarded.
Tears spill before I can stop them. The ornament slips from my fingers, but Julian catches it before it can shatter. His other hand cups my elbow, steadying me.
I'm almost surprised when he turns me, cupping my face. "What is it?" His eyes search mine. "Tell me what it is, Ivy."
There's such thinly veiled rage in his voice that I shake my head. I don't even want to mention Travis to Julian.
"I hate that he's still in my head." I swipe at my cheeks. "That stupid song-"
He turns, going to cut off the music, and the sound of my sniffs and harsh breathing fill the air instead. It's not even that I miss him, but the feeling of being so rejected, so blatantly disrespected and ignored, guts me.
Julian's hands return to my face, wiping away the last trace of tears. His gaze locks onto mine, ice-blue eyes unyielding yet not unkind. He doesn't speak, doesn't need to. The silence stretches, comfortable and expectant.
I don't think. I just act. Stepping closer, I rest my forehead against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart. His arms envelop me, strong and secure. It's not an invitation but a capitulation. A surrender to something I can't define yet can't deny.
His chin rests atop my head, his voice a low rumble. "You're stronger than this, Ivy."
I nod, breathing in the scent of him - cedar and citrus, with an undercurrent of something darker. "I know."
"Then show me."
Pulling back slightly, I meet his gaze again. There's no demand in his expression, no command. Just an expectation. One I plan to fulfill.
Julian doesn't leave my side the rest of the day. I wonder if he was bothered by the way that I was hurt by someone other than him.
Dinner is quiet. The clink of silverware against china echoes through the dining room. Julian watches me, not predatory, but attentive. Like he's waiting for something.
After dinner, I go to take a bath while he works in his study. It gives me time to relax, to untangle the mess of feelings I've bene ignoring from Travis. It makes me realize that while Travis clearly had been cheating on me for a while, I was clinging to something that wasn't working.
And I'm glad to be out of it now.
When I get out of the bath, I find a little green teddy waiting for me on the bed. I slip it on, the cool fabric whispering against my skin. The reflection staring back at me is familiar yet altered. There's a softness in my eyes, a calmness in my features.
The door creaks open. Julian leans against the frame, eyes tracing the lines of my body. His approval isn't verbalized but understood. It's in the slight nod, the subtle shift of his stance.
I walk towards him, bare feet sinking into the plush carpet. His hand reaches out, fingers tangling in my hair as he tilts my head back. Our breaths mingle, his minty and fresh, mine hurried and warm.
My hands find his chest, fingertips brushing the crisp fabric of his shirt. I feel the hard planes of muscle underneath, the heat of his skin seeping through. His heartbeat is steady, unaffected. But his eyes - they flash with something raw, primal.
His fingers trail down my spine, tracing the curve until they rest just above the small of my back. The touch sends shivers along my skin, raises goosebumps. My body arches into his, seeking more contact, more heat.
"You are such a good girl," he murmurs, mouth close to my ear. "Always doing what I want, even when I don't tell you to."
The praise sends a jolt through me, settling somewhere deep and untouched. It feels... right. Whole.
His hand presses flat against my back, guiding me closer. Our bodies align, fitting together seamlessly. My breath hitches as his lips brush my neck, lingering over the crescent moon birthmark. It's not a kiss, not quite. More like a promise.
Every nerve ending hums with anticipation. Every sense heightens, attuning to him. The room fades away, leaving only us, only this moment. Only his touch, his voice, his approval.
And for the first time since arriving here, since meeting Julian, since losing Travis and the future I thought I wanted... I feel like I'm exactly where I'm meant to be.
The thought hits me as I sink into Julian. I want to be here. So much so that I can't remember the last time I plotted my escape. I think if he gave me my car keys and told me to leave, I'd ask him if I could stay.
The penthouse doesn't feel like a prison anymore. I'm not sure it ever really did. Even the locked doors don't bother me - I know Julian holds every key, and somehow that knowledge settles me rather than sets me on edge.
"You're thinking too hard." His voice cuts through my thoughts as he drags his lips along the column of my neck. I tilt my head for him.
I've never been one for sex, not really. Probably because I had learned to not expect it. But with Julian, I feel insatiable. Like I want to constantly take whatever he wants to give me, as long as his attention is on me.
"I was thinking about you." The words slip out before I can catch them.
He trails back up my neck until his lips brush mine, and I cling to him. His palm cups my face, thumb tracing my bottom lip. "Tell me."
It's not a request. The command in his voice makes my knees weak. "I like this. Being here. With you."
"Continue." His other hand settles on my waist, pulling me tighter against me.
"When you're gone, I miss you. The way you... the way you take care of everything. The way you see me." My voice drops to a whisper. "No one's ever really seen me before."
His grip tightens, possessive but not painful. "Because they didn't know how to look."
The truth of it washes over me. Travis looked through me, past me, around me. Julian's gaze strips me bare, sees every layer, every shadow, every light.
And it's all I ever wanted.