24. Ivy
24
IVY
I sit cross-legged on Julian's leather couch, his laptop balanced on my thighs as three familiar faces fill the screen. Jessica's pristine home office serves as her backdrop, while Sophie lounges in what appears to be a luxury hotel room. Lily's face takes up most of her frame - she never quite got the hang of video chat distances.
"So you're really staying with Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Dangerous?" Sophie leans closer to her camera, her perfectly lined eyes widening. "I need every detail."
"It's not like that." I adjust the screen, grateful the camera won't pick up the marks Julian left on my neck. "We're just... figuring things out." I blow out a breath. "It's not like I can go home right now."
"Please." Jessica's perfectly manicured nails tap against her desk. "You've never missed a planned event in your life. Now you're skipping Christmas with your family?"
Julian handled sending off excuses on my behalf. I usually go see my sister and cousins for a few days, try to keep up the traditions. This year, though, I'm not going anywhere.
I just shrug. "I think they knew I needed a change of scenery this year."
"Speaking of the new scenery..." Lily's entire screen goes dark for a moment as she fumbles with her phone. "When do we get to see this place? Give us a tour!"
"Not happening." I laugh, shifting to get more comfortable. "You three are worse than-"
The elevator's distinctive hum cuts through the air. My spine straightens as Julian strides in, his suit jacket draped over one arm. His presence fills the room, drawing my attention like a magnet.
He moves behind the couch, bending down to press his lips against mine. The kiss is brief but possessive, and I'm already a puddle when he lets go.
"Ladies." His voice carries that commanding tone that makes my stomach flip.
"Oh my god." Sophie's squeal pierces through the speakers. "He's even hotter up close."
Julian's mouth curves into that dangerous half-smile. "I'll leave you to your call." His fingers trail along my shoulder as he walks away.
"I should go." Heat crawls up my neck as three knowing grins fill my screen.
"Sure you should." Jessica smirks. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"That list is getting shorter by the day," Lily teases, making Jessica roll her eyes. She might be a shark in the courtroom, but Jess is probably the least reserved of us all - despite her outward demeanor.
"Bye!" I close the laptop before they can embarrass me further.
I hop off the couch and head into the kitchen where I left all the cookie stuff I was working on before they called. I'm working on mixing everything together when I feel Julian come behind me, pressing his chest against my back as he watches my hands work.
"Perfect control." His breath tickles my ear. "Your attention to detail is... impressive."
The warmth in his voice makes my chest tight. The words bubble up before I can stop them - three dangerous syllables that nearly slip past my lips. I catch them just in time, transforming them into a soft hum instead.
I'm not even sure why the words are popping up. Maybe it's because he's the very person who has ever cared, who has seen everything I need and given it to me, who knows what it is like deep down in my broken soul.
I know Julian wants me. But I'm not sure how he'll react to me saying I love him.
Julian's fingers trace down my arm to steady my hand as I finish a particularly intricate snowflake design. The simple touch sends heat scorching through my body. Everything about him does that to me now - every glance, every casual brush of contact.
"Here." He takes the piping bag, his large hands dwarfing mine. "Let me help."
I lean back against him, watching as he mirrors my technique with surprising precision. For someone so lethal, his movements carry an unexpected gentleness. The same hands that can break bones now carefully trace delicate patterns in white icing.
"You're a natural." I rest my head against his chest, breathing in his cologne mixed with the sweet scent of vanilla extract.
"I have an excellent teacher." He sets down the piping bag, turning me to face him. His thumb brushes sugar from my cheek, the gesture so tender it makes my heart ache.
No one has ever looked at me the way Julian does - like I'm something precious and rare. No one has ever treated me with such care while making me feel so safe, so protected. I've given him everything - my body, my trust, my heart - and for the first time in my life, I'm not scared of being hurt.
His ice-blue eyes search my face, and I wonder if he can read the emotions I'm trying so hard to contain. If he can see how completely, irrevocably his I've become.
I pull away from him to put the cookies in the oven, but when I turn back, I'm surprised to see that he isn't looking at me. As I start wiping down the marble counter, Julian's phone buzzes, something that has been happening almost nonstop since he came in here. His jaw tightens as he reads the message, fingers tapping out a response with sharp, decisive movements.
"Everything okay?" I pause my cleaning, studying the hard line of his shoulders.
"Fine." The single word comes out clipped. He doesn't look up from the screen, and that hits me In the chest.
I continue wiping circles into the counter, sneaking glances at him. Julian always gives me his full attention - it's one of the things that drew me in with him in the first place. The way he listens, really listens, making me feel like I'm the only person in his world. But now his focus is elsewhere, his thoughts clearly occupied by whatever keeps lighting up his phone.
I don't like it. It makes me feel…angry. Ignored. Rejected.
His thumb scrolls rapidly through what looks like a long message. The muscles in his forearm flex as his grip tightens on the device. I've never seen him this tense over a text before.
The timer chimes, making me jump. Julian doesn't even notice. He's typing again, his expression growing darker with each word.
"The cookies are done." I slide on the oven mitts, trying to keep my voice light.
"Mm." Another non-response. Another message.
I set the hot tray on the cooling rack, the cheerful shapes of stars and trees a stark contrast to the growing unease in my stomach. Julian moves to the living room, pacing as he makes a call. His voice is too low for me to make out the words, but the controlled anger in his tone is clear.
The distance between us feels bigger than the few feet separating the kitchen from the living room. I arrange cookies on a plate, trying to focus on the task instead of the knot forming in my chest. But each buzz of his phone, each muttered response, each step of his measured pacing chips away at my composure.
This isn't like him. Julian's always so present, so in control. Seeing him this distracted, this agitated... It makes my skin prickle with anxiety.
When he finally comes back, I slide onto the counter, the cool marble seeping into my skin. "Hey." My fingers catch his sleeve as he passes, tugging him between my legs. "Talk to me."
Julian's smile doesn't reach his eyes. His hands settle on my thighs, but the touch lacks his usual intensity. Even now, with me right in front of him, his attention keeps drifting to the phone on the counter.
"It's nothing." He presses a kiss to my forehead. The gesture feels mechanical, rehearsed.
I wrap my arms around his neck, drawing him closer. "Doesn't look like nothing." My fingers trace the tension in his shoulders, finding knots of stress I've never felt there before. "You're somewhere else right now."
His jaw clenches. For a moment, I catch a glimpse of something dark in those ice-blue eyes before he masks it. "Work stuff. Nothing for you to worry about."
The dismissal stings. I drop my hands to his chest, feeling his heart beat steady and strong beneath my palm. "I just…I didn't think you'd act like this."
"Like what?" His tone carries an edge I've never heard directed at me.
"This." I gesture between us. "Making me feel like I'm not as important as whatever is going on there." I wave toward his phone.
As if to prove my point, it buzzes again. Julian's eyes flick to it, his fingers twitching against my thighs. The movement sets something off in my chest - a mixture of hurt and frustration that burns hot beneath my skin.
"See? That's exactly what I mean." I grab his chin, forcing his gaze back to mine. "Whatever's going on has you bothered and now you are ignoring me because of it." I cross my arms. "Why'd you even come home if you were going to act like this?"
His smile turns sharp, dangerous. "Some things are better left unsaid." He tugs my arm down. "And I thought you were my good girl? Why are you being a brat?"
"Why are you ignoring me?"
He pinches my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "I'm not, sweetheart."
The endearment feels like ice water down my spine, the words almost threatening. He's never used it as a weapon before, never wielded his affection like a shield to keep me at bay.
He sighs when he sees something on my face, and then he scoops me up in his arms. I huff, not curling into him as he takes me to the living room.
Settling me on his lap, he brushes a kiss to my temple. "I'm right here with you." He picks up the remote, pressing play on the movie I was watching earlier, and I find it hard to stay mad when his hand starts to work up and down my exposed thigh. "Relax. Let's watch the movie."
And despite all the things that tell me I should be on edge, I should press harder, I do sink into him. Julian has always protected me, taken care of me. And I let him do the same now.