CHAPTER 24
LUCY
Fuck, fuck.” I kept mumbling as he caught his breath.
I came so viciously I felt the stomach muscles I hadn't used in eight weeks strain and tighten. My breath was short, my chest heaving. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and wake up next week.
“Are you OK?” He looked fanatically for a paper towel to wipe his hand, his legs still between my body.
“Can you just help me up? I'm in a position I haven't been in in months and I have no real muscle tone yet.” I pulled my long purple sweater down to cover everything.
“Oh shit, just give me two seconds.” Sasha ran around looking for paper towel before coming back.
“Hurry the fuck up, I don't need Bobby coming in here looking at me out in the open.” I pulled my hand to my face and winced as I saw teeth marks on my ring finger, right wear a wedding band would be. It gave me the butterflies.
Did he do that on purpose? I swooned.
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” He came back and gave me his hands so I could sit up.
I felt a tight jolt and grabbed my stomach.
“What happened?” He grabbed my stomach, but I swatted him away.
“Don't touch my belly like I'm pregnant. That will freak me out.”
“Well, I would know how to act if you texted me back!”
“I was scared!” I shouted
“Well so was I!” He yelled back.
Silence fell over us in the orgasmic haze. His eyes still lazy with euphoria, his body shaking.
“I'm sorry. I came here to explain.” I quickly apologized. I didn't want the heat in the bedroom to ever transfer to our communication. I wiped my hair out of my face, sweaty.
Sasha helped get the wild strands back in place, his fingers lingered on my body. Tracing lines up my arms, grazing my chin. His head slowly leaned towards mine, our foreheads touching.
“I'm sorry I shouted. I was terrified that I lost you.” He stepped between my legs again, his hip bones pressing against my thighs that shook.
“Let's talk about it, OK? Come home with me?” I ran my fingers in his beard.
“I'll meet you out back in twenty minutes.”
“OK, but where did you put my fucking underwear?”
Sasha snorted. “I missed you.” He pulled my underwear from where he tucked it up his shirt, next to his heart.
“Oh really, Sarge? Wanted to keep that?” I forced my hands up between his jersey and his undershirt. “What the hell else do you have up there?” I giggled as he squirmed with my teasing touch.
“Stop.” He laughed.
All at once our playfulness came back to the surface.
Like it had never left. And I wanted to slap myself for ever thinking I could go without him.
That I could choose the life I had before over a life with him.
But now I was terrified I had fucked it up too badly to put it right.
Yes, we had sex and yes he was saying all the things I wanted him to say, but was he just caught up in the euphoria?
In the win? In the girl returning without thinking of all I had done?
“No, I want to see what else you have up there.” I had taken a look inside his shirt as a jest, but my throat caught, squeezed tightly. Tears started to blur my vision as I saw what he was wearing.
A black shirt with “Lucy's bitch” embroidered over the heart in white and red clung to his sweaty chest.
My first thought was to tease him, but a rush of warmth flushed over me. He had carried me with him the entire time we were apart.
“I missed you too.” I kissed his shoulder as he was so much taller than me still in his skates. Our eyes were locked, a slight sway began between the two of us. No one wanted to part, but we had to, there were still things that needed to be said.
He peaked out the door to make sure we were all clear.
I would have been terrified if I had to do the walk of shame in front of all the WAGS.
But maybe I wouldn't be. It would serve them right to see how passionate Sasha and I were.
It would serve me right after being such a fool for not texting him back.
“We're clear. Go wait for me in the tunnel.” Sasha pointed in the right direction as he walked out to the locker room. When the door opened I heard some light cheering and I flushed red from embarrassment.
I would be locker room talk, but it didn't bother me as much as I thought it would.
I found a woman's restroom and fixed my face.
My lips were red, my face abraded, my hair totally fucked up.
But hell, did I feel good. The first six weeks after my surgery I felt like hell.
I felt like the most unattractive piece of carved meat.
Stomach swollen, bleeding, sore, overwhelmed, lonely.
And in one moment, less than a moment, he made me feel like the sexiest woman on earth in the way he took his own pleasure from my body.
I was getting wet again just thinking about it.
I was scared what the first time would be like with him and after the surgery, the result was my heart feeling so warm I might cry.
Sex with Sasha rocked me. A freaky, kinky quickie in an equipment room was better than anything I had ever had before.
Twenty minutes later he left the locker room with a certain swagger. A smirk wouldn't leave his lips the closer he walked in my direction.
“Oh, no. I was locker room talk, huh?” I had to laugh. I guess it could be flattering.
“I was a gentleman, but they could kind of tell by my face.” He rolled his eyes in disbelief. “My car is parked in the lot.” He took my hand and started lead me out the player entrance.
“Oh no, I'm driving.” I smiled and pulled him in the opposite direction.
“You're driving? I can drive really.”
“I want to drive and I like to drive, did you know that about me?”
The question caught him off guard. “No, I didn't know that.”
“Well buckle up buddy, you're going to hear a lot from me tonight.” I playfully pat him on the shoulder.
But he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his body. Our noses lightly touching. “I'm happy we are finally on the same page.” I blush. The way he threw his body at me, like at any moment he could take me because he knew I would never say no again now that I felt him.
◆◆◆
A half hour into our ride to my house and there was a moment of awkward silence. I didn't know if Sasha fell asleep or if his emotions were catching up as his adrenaline was wearing off.
“I'm sorry I didn't move too much before.” I keep looking at the road.
“What?” That woke him up.
“I would usually put in more effort. My body just isn't all put back together yet.” Why was I talking about sex right now? I had no idea, but the silence was deafening.
“Lucy, I have no complaints. I love your body now and I'm sure I'll still love it when it gets put back together. I'm sorry I didn't get to come inside you. We didn't talk about it and I didn't want to ruin the moment you know?”
“Yeah.” I didn't know why I was having all these insecure feelings. I was just terrified that after I talked about why I didn't text, he wouldn't understand and he wouldn't want to go forward and keep seeing me.
Sasha reached over and took my hand I usually keep tucked under my thigh as I drove. He kissed my palm and then kissed my knuckles and saw the little red mark he put on my ring finger.
“Sorry if I hurt you.” He kissed it.
“Don't be. I thought it was fucking hot.” I laughed.
“Oh man, I wanted to look at your face when you came. You scrunch up your nose and bite your lip. It was gorgeous.”
A wave of heat flushed through me. I took my hand back to wave at my sweating neck, but he stole it the moment I stopped.
“Tell me what happened.” He leaned his head back, rubbing at the tension in his neck.
“I want to talk when we get to the house.” A pit in my stomach grew.
“No, I mean the surgery. I want to hear what happened. Sarah would give me no details. I felt so shut out.” He rubbed my shoulder as I drove.
“Oh, OK I'm sorry.” I gave him a quick look, shame and confusion pitting my stomach. “I guess compartmentalizing doesn't really work out sometimes.”
“Not for the both of us.” He squeezed my hand tighter and I could feel the tingling sensation threaten my eyes.
“Well, I guess what they thought was a mango really was a grapefruit.” I took a deep breath. I could cry later, in the safety of my own home, in case it all when to shit and I wanted to lay in my bed for a year.
“A grapefruit? Where was it hiding?” Sasha looked me up and down.
“In my uterus. It was huge, I have pictures. Anyway, the surgery went well but I bled a lot that night, and the next day. But, like everyone else, they made sure I went to the bathroom and sent me on my merry way.”
“That's crazy.” He rubbed at his face.
“Yeah. The next few days I was just stiff, like probably what someone feels like after you check them against the boards, but in my stomach. Whenever I stood I was afraid to pull something, you know?”
“I have some experience with stitches.”
“But it was the psychological stuff that got me the most. You feel so bad for so long you wonder if it is ever going to get better.”
He reached out and squeezed my thigh. “It has.”
And he was right. With Sasha being next to me everything already started to feel better. But as dread crept up my neck, I couldn't help but worry it wasn't for long.
Twenty minutes later we were pulling onto my street.
“We stopping at Sarah's house or something?”
“Nope.” I smirk.
I watched his confusion clear when I pulled into the house across the street from her.
“Are you kidding me? You live across from her. I was here in desperation a week ago.”
“I know. She told me I was literally getting into my car while your back was turned.” I hopped out of the car and walked to the front door, placing the key in the lock and opening the door for him.
“Good to see you again, Sarge!” Sarah yelled from her upstairs window across the street.
Speak of the devil. Her voice rang out into the darkness. She was drunk as a skunk but excited when I told her I was going to the game.
“Mind your own business for once, will you?” I shouted back, practically waking the entire neighborhood.
“Nice to see you too, Sarah!” Sasha laughed into the darkness of the night.