Chapter 2 #2
“Thank you,” Koda said, leaning against the door frame and clutching the shirt even tighter. “I picked it out myself.”
A soft, surprised laugh came through the door. “I really like it. My name’s Jae, and I didn’t exactly pick it out myself, but it is a nickname for Jae Hoon.”
“Jae,” Koda said, repeating it in their head a few times.
They often had a hard time learning people’s names when they first met, so focused on remembering to give their chosen name they often missed the other person’s name entirely.
There wasn’t a chance in hell they’d forget Jae’s name, though.
Or the way they looked up at Koda with hope so potent it had bled into fear.
“My pronouns are he/him,” Jae offered, and Koda’s bear warbled, a deep baritone noise that would have shaken the door off its hinges if they were shifted.
“Mine are they/them. I really appreciate you offering yours first.”
Silence fell on both sides of the door until there was a soft noise, like maybe Jae had leaned their body against the door. “I don’t… really know what to do,” Jae said, and Koda rested their forehead against their side of the door.
“Me neither. I definitely wasn’t expecting this today.”
Jae let out a sharp laugh. “Clearly, neither was I!”
Koda glanced down at the shirt in their hand. “I guess it is a little ironic to be on a Fuck Fate bar crawl–”
“And then meet your fated mate!” Jae said, his voice rising almost two octaves in pitch.
Koda’s bear shifted around, uncomfortably with their fated mate’s distress.
“Jae, can I come in? Or would you come out? I promise I won’t touch you or do anything, I just–”
“No! That’s not…” Jae made another distressed sound, and there was a scrambling noise before the door was yanked open. Koda was already sort of hunched against the door frame, so they decided to maintain that posture in case maybe their height and size had been part of what scared Jae off.
“I’m not afraid you’re going to touch me, or hurt me or anything!” Jae said, deep lines carving grooves next to their eyes and mouth.
Koda nodded, even though they weren’t sure if they believed him.
“I swear! Here—come in.”
Jae reached for Koda’s hand to try and pull him inside.
Under normal circumstances, Jae probably wouldn’t have been able to lift their arm, let alone drag them across the threshold, but the second their skin touched it was like Koda turned into a feather.
They floated into the bathroom, and the door clicked shut behind them.
Jae also must have felt something because a pale-yellow ring appeared around his irises, and his hair began to shift, hints of white, brown, and green appearing at the ends.
Instead of letting go, which is what Koda would have done if they experienced a partial shift just from touching their mate, Jae lurched forward, throwing himself against Koda’s chest.
“Oh—” Koda said, unsure what to do other than to wrap their arms around the smaller man.
“Oh gods,” Jae whispered, pressing their forehead into Koda’s sternum. “I’m so fucked.”
Admittedly, that was really not what Koda wanted to hear.
“I’m sorry,” they said, trying to pull away, but Jae clung to them.
“Oh gods,” he said again.
Koda was at a complete loss. On the one hand, having Jae in their arms was quite possibly one of the best feelings they’d ever had. It was as if a part of them had been running their whole life, and it could finally rest.
On the other hand, it was starting to seem like maybe their fated mate didn’t feel the same way.
Koda had been rejected enough in life to not want to go through it again.
If their mate didn’t want them, they had no qualms about retreating with their tail between their legs.
Their bear grumbled angrily at this, but Koda wasn’t ashamed.
They’d built a peaceful little life for themself, where they could live proudly and love themself without limitations.
If others didn’t like that, or didn’t love them for who they were, Koda wasn’t going to stick around and find out why.
“I can leave—” Koda said, once again trying to extricate themself, but Jae clung to the straps of Koda’s overalls.
“No! I’m so sorry. I’m an absolute mess,” Jae said, tipping his head back to look up at Koda, only to duck his head again and squeeze his eyes shut.
“This is the first time I’ve done anything social in months, and I’m here with my best friend, trying to make up for basically ditching him for two years for a man who then turned around and ditched me on a fucking plane to Europe–and then I meet you, and although I’m really trying to get my shit together, I’ve managed to do one stupid thing after another, and now you probably hate me, and honestly, you should, because I sort of hate me now too, and I want nothing more than to give you back your very cute overalls so you can leave, which you totally deserve to do, but my duck will not let go. ”
Jae managed to say all that without taking a single breath, and when he was done, he pressed in somehow even closer.
Koda’s bear tightened their arms around him while Koda’s mind went unhelpfully blank.
They could feel every place where their bodies were touching, and the sensation was electric.
It was almost like how it felt to sit on their parent’s front porch during a thunder storm.
As they continued to stand there, the silence stretching out, for some reason they—or to be honest, it was probably their bear—latched onto the final bit of information Jae had shared.
“You’re a duck?” they asked.
“Mandarin.”
Koda blinked. “Like… the fruit? Or the language?”
“Like the duck,” Jae said with a soft laugh.
Even though this was the third time Koda had heard some variation of his laugh, up close, pressed into their chest, it felt like it sunk into them, past fat, sinew, and muscle, until it leached into their bones.
“Mandarin duck… I’ve never heard of them. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be offensive.”
“Please don’t apologize,” Jae said, turning their head so their temple rested against one of Koda’s pecs.
“It’s a subspecies of ducks, native to Japan, China, and Korea.
My entire family lives in Korea, but my parents immigrated here before having me and my siblings.
We’re, uh, actually thought to be some of the most romantic shifters in the world.
We have big families and are even considered a symbol of love and fertility.
At least, according to Korean culture, we are. ”
Their little omega, who was on a fuck fate bar crawl the same night Koda happened to be at the bar, was one of the most romantic shifter species in the world? Koda couldn’t help it. They nuzzled their scruffy cheek against the top of Jae’s head.
Jae let out a soft breath. “Gods,I’m truly so fucked. You feel like… like everything.”
Before their feelings could be hurt again, Koda tried to parse through everything Jae had told them thus far.
“So, if I understood you correctly, you’re recently out of a relationship with a man who caused you to ditch your friends, and in meeting me, you are now worried you are ditching your friends again? ”
Jae nodded aggressively.
“Why didn’t you run back to them?” Koda asked.
Their bear growled at them. They wanted to continue rubbing their scent all over Jae, not convince him to return to his friends.
Jae sighed, flexing his fingers against Koda’s chest and shuffling his feet a little farther under Koda so he could curl into their arms. “I ran in here because I… freaked out.”
Koda’s bear–and probably part of Koda themself–wanted to pick him up and hold him.
Ronan liked to shift into his Flemish rabbit form and curl up in the crook of Koda’s arms. They could almost imagine holding Jae in his duck form, stroking their fingers over his soft plumage.
Koda still wasn’t quite sure what to make of the little shifter, but at least they weren’t feeling defensive anymore.
“Are you still freaking out?” Koda asked, not sure if that was what was keeping him glued to Koda’s front.
“Yeah. Honestly, probably even more than before.”
“Why?” Koda asked, double checking that they weren’t squeezing Jae too hard, or doing anything that could make him feel uncomfortable.
Even if they’d gotten off to a bit of a rocky start, Koda would never want to contribute in any way to someone else’s discomfort.
Especially not their fated mate, who felt like he’d been built specifically to fit in Koda’s arms.
“Because,” Jae said with a huff, “at least when I ran away, it was with the intent to not hurt Hollis, or do anything to hurt you. We hadn’t even formally met yet, and I thought…”
Jae trailed off, and after an awkward beat he released Koda, who did the same, taking a large step back to give him space.
“Gods, I don’t know what I thought,” Jae said looking up at Koda with a heartbreaking expression.
“Maybe that if I ran away, fate would somehow forget, or you would forget, or I would forget, but… I don’t know how I ever could have thought that, because it feels like…
like you’re a part of me now and forgetting you would be—” Jae’s voice wavered, and his bottom lip began to tremble.
Any remaining hesitance or doubt Koda had disappeared as tears welled in the corner of Jae’s eyes.
Koda could feel his heartbreak like a weight pulling at the bottom of their heart.
It hung right next to the ache they carried over losing their brother and uncles.
It had been their choice to walk away from Koda, though, so Koda had learned to live with it.
It didn’t seem like Jae was actively choosing to dismiss or deny Koda and their bond.
He was just, as he’d said, in a messy part of his life. Koda could understand that.
Their bear roared for them to use this newfound certainty to comfort their fated mate. As they watched, struggling with their bear over what to do, a single tear rolled down Jae’s cheek.