Chapter 5 Charlie
FIVE
CHARLIE
The rain was coming down harder by the time the taxi dropped me off in front of the bookstore.
As much as I’d objected, I was grateful to Julian and Mateo for ordering a taxi for me.
I always felt weird when people did nice things for me or spent money on me.
My therapist had told me it was a trauma response from being so used to people treating me badly.
My logical brain sort of knew that, but my emotions often got the better of me.
I hurried into the shop, my sudden entrance causing Selene to startle and shoot up to the top of the stairs. Once there, she stared at me with narrowed eyes. “Sorry, princess,” I called up to her. “I was in a hurry to get out of the rain.”
Selene let out a disgruntled “meow” before slowly making her way back down the stairs.
I hung up my coat and scarf in preparation for making amends to the offended feline.
She hopped up onto the counter and tilted her head regally.
“I’m very sorry for startling you,” I murmured as I scratched behind her ears and ran my hand over her sleek fur.
I heard the back office door open and Zenia called out, “Charlie?”
“Out here petting her majesty,” I replied.
My boss came down the aisle carrying a stack of paperbacks. She set them on the counter next to Selene and also paid tribute to her royal highness. “Julian called and said you had an accident and hit your head. Are you all right?”
I sighed softly. “It’s not as bad as it sounds.” I related how I’d run into the very gorgeous Hunter and how he’d made sure I was okay before he went to a job interview. “It’s all good,” I said. “Julian made me some tea that helped with my headache.”
“Well that’s good to hear,” she said. “Are you sure you don’t want to go home early?”
I shook my head. “No. I’d rather work. I like it here.”
Her brows drew together in concern. “Do you not like your home?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that question. I didn’t dislike my apartment, per se, I just felt adrift while I was there. I couldn’t explain it in a way that wouldn’t make me sound crazy. I shrugged. “It’s okay. I don’t know. I haven’t been able to make it feel like home yet.”
She nodded in understanding. “Some places are only meant to be temporary. A place to rest until you do find your true home.”
Her words sparked a longing in my chest. How often had I heard my grandmother long for her home back in Ireland?
A place she’d been forced to leave when she was a young teenager because there had been no work for her parents.
She’d tried to go back after she graduated college, but most of the family connections were gone.
She’d come back to the States afterward, sad but determined to live a good life.
She’d married my grandfather, another Irish immigrant, and they’d had five children.
My mother was the youngest of their children and she also married an Irishman.
I remember sitting in my grandmother’s kitchen when I was little listening to her stories about the rolling green hills and the rocky coasts of where she’d lived in Donegal, Ireland. I dreamed about going there one day.
“Charlie?”
Zenia’s gentle tone brought me back to the present moment. “Sorry. I was remembering my grandmother. She never felt at home here in the US, but also was never able to return to Ireland.”
“Is that what you want?” she asked. “To move to Ireland?”
I tested out the thought in my mind and shook my head. “No. At least I don’t think so. I do want to go there to see where my ancestors lived. But honestly it’s more about me searching for a place that fits me.”
“Or maybe a person,” Zenia said with a sly grin.
My stomach twisted. “I don’t think so. I tried that.” I swallowed hard. “It didn’t end well.”
Her expression softened. “Oh Charlie. Don’t let someone else’s brokenness prevent you from finding happiness.”
My eyes started burning and my throat constricted. “I’m trying not to. It’s hard.”
She gently patted my cheek. “How well I know.” She gestured to the stack of books. “Well, if you’re going to stay, let’s get started with these online orders.” She glanced out the window where the wind was blowing the rain against the glass. “I doubt many customers will be stopping by today.”
“Yeah, probably not,” I replied. I recalled Hunter’s interest in the bookshop and how he said he wanted to explore a new bookstore. It was highly unlikely he would be coming today—if at all—no matter how hard I wished for it.
I reached under the counter and pulled out the box of padded envelopes that we used to ship individual book orders. The pair of us got into a rhythm of packing books and printing labels that brought us to lunch time. My stomach grumbled about being empty and Zenia heard it.
She looked at me and shook her head. “Goodness Charlie, you need to tell me when you’re hungry.” She pulled out her phone. “I’ll order us something to eat.”
“Oh you don’t have to do that,” I objected.
She put her hands on her hips. “Listen to me, Charlie Gallagher. I take care of my people. I get that you’re not used to anyone taking care of you, but you’re also not very good at taking care of yourself. Now let me order you some lunch.”
I put up my hands in surrender. “Yes, ma’am.
” I was barely able to hide my smile. She was right that I wasn’t used to people taking care of me anymore.
My parents were lukewarm at best about me being gay.
They hadn’t kicked me out, they’d just lost interest in anything I was doing.
I essentially became invisible in the family.
My sister and two brothers were better about it, but they were all older than me and had their own lives that included kids and afterschool activities.
They didn’t have time for their nerdy gay brother.
And that was before I’d moved several states away to a new time zone.
We decided to order from the local café.
I felt bad because it was still raining pretty hard so I decided I would add a cash tip onto the one Zenia had put in the app.
I went to pull out my wallet to get the cash when the door to the shop opened accompanied by a gust of wind-driven rain that banged the door against the wall.
I jumped, startled by the unexpected sound. It was too soon for the food delivery, so who else would be insane enough to come out in this weather? I had my answer when a pair of pretty green eyes met mine. “Hunter?”