Chapter 4 #2
He raced through undressing and scrubbed more than just his face before putting on his pajamas.
He almost refreshed his deodorant as well before thinking that Javier would laugh at him if he smelled a little too fresh.
He liked Javier immensely, though, and wanted to impress him.
It was probably terribly dysfunctional of him, and the things he was feeling were likely the result of not having had sex in months.
But seriously, what red-blooded gay man wouldn’t feel a rush of excitement at having a handsome, tall, and clever model in their bedroom.
By the time he exited the bathroom, Javier was still focused on the wardrobe. Not only that, by the look of the things that were hung from the doors or laid across the bed, he was reorganizing the whole thing.
Before Desmond could do more than open his mouth to ask what Javier was doing, Javier said, “It’s a good thing you invited me over, because this wardrobe is in need of a serious sort.”
Des snapped his mouth shut. “If you say so, dear,” he said. It was probably silly of him to try to keep the boyfriend charade going, but he really loved it.
Javier dragged his eyes away from one of Desmond’s work suits and glanced over at him. The kindness in his smile turned into an entirely different kind of warmth as he raked Des with a gaze from head to toe.
“What am I thinking?” he asked a moment later, shoving the suit he’d been holding back into the wardrobe, then quickly gathered up the other things to put back as well.
“Now is not the time for a closet makeover,” he went on.
“You’ll have to forgive me. I’m a little OCD when it comes to organizing things.
You should have seen me backstage at some of the shows I was in.
The dressers either loved me or hated me for trying to keep the racks straight and organized.
I suppose that’s why I’m trying to run my own agency now. ”
He was blabbering, but Desmond kind of loved it. There was something light and artless about the way Javier talked. His words weren’t calculated and designed to score points, like Matthew’s always had been. Javier seemed so confident in who he was, too. He didn’t have to prove himself to anyone.
Unlike Desmond.
“I don’t mind if you rearrange my—” Insides. He wanted to say insides. “—wardrobe,” he said instead.
“Some other time, sweetheart,” Javier said, putting the last of his things back, then closing the wardrobe doors. “Right now, we need to make sure you get back to feeling one hundred percent as quickly as possible.” He stepped forward, reaching for Desmond’s hand.
Desmond smiled as he took the offered hand and let Javier lead him out of the bedroom and back downstairs. Yes, he definitely liked the touchiness.
“I’m feeling much better,” he said, though it was a lie. No, it was the truth. His stomach might still be as wobbly as a cart with three wheels, but the rest of him was happier than he’d been in a long time.
“You still need to rest,” Javier said as they reached the ground floor and headed back toward the kitchen. “What sort of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t make sure my honey bear was feeling better?”
“I’m not much of a bear, really,” Desmond blurted before he could scream at himself that Javier didn’t mean it literally. He then made it worse by going on with, “I’m fairly average in the hair department.”
He should probably just ask Javier to go and then bury himself in the back garden out of shame right then and there.
Javier turned to him with a cheeky grin as they entered the kitchen and said, “Well, I’m as smooth as a baby just about everywhere.
” He arched one eyebrow and added with heart-stopping boldness, “Everywhere. It comes with the job,” he added in a far less mischievous tone, “and I’ve kept it up, even though I don’t walk anymore. ”
“Oh,” Desmond said breathlessly, sitting heavily on one of the bar stools at the kitchen counter. He would not picture Javier naked, he would not picture Javier naked, he would not picture Javier naked.
“Looks like you have some chamomile and mint tea in here,” Javier said after searching through a few cupboards while Desmond just stared at him in a state of horny shock. “That’s always good for the tum-tum.”
“Er, yes, please,” Desmond said, caught between feeling ridiculous and happier than he’d been in ages.
Javier fixed tea for both of them, then they took it into the lounge.
“This seems like the place to get cozy,” Javier said as they settled on the large, soft sofa. “I love this sofa.”
“It was a special treat after Matthew left,” Desmond said, then sipped some of his tea.
“A sofa was a treat?” Javier asked, sitting next to him and twisting sideways so he faced Desmond. He’d taken off his suit jacket and shoes, and as he folded one of his long legs across the couch cushions between them, Desmond wished Javier had PJs on, too. Or nothing. He would settle for nothing.
He had to focus, specifically so he wouldn’t embarrass himself even further by ending up with an erection tenting his own PJs.
“Matthew had a very different sense of style from me,” he explained. “He was enamored of eclectic, almost avantgarde furnishings. There were lots of angles and chrome before. The couch was almost unbearably hard.”
“Ouch,” Javier said, likely meaning it literally and figuratively. “So why were the two of you together?”
Desmond blinked and nearly swallowed his sip of tea wrong. That was a bold question for someone he didn’t really know to ask.
Then again, if they were still roleplaying, Javier was his boyfriend. In fact, he’d told Matthew the two of them had been dating for months now, so he was more than entitled to information about his last relationship.
“Matthew was exciting and handsome,” he said with a shrug that only pretended to be casual. “I’d been alone for a while when we met and I was ready for a relationship. He was charming and intelligent as well, and we shared a lot of interests.”
“That’s the way relationships should start,” Javier said, sipping his tea and nodding.
“Yes, well, in the end, I think the interest that he had was predominantly in my money,” Desmond went on, being surprisingly honest, even with himself. “I knew it and I should have put a stop to his spending, but I’ve always been weak in the face of a sad story, and Matthew’s was quite sad.”
“In what way?” Javier asked, his expression serious and interested, like he was actually listening and taking everything in.
Desmond barely knew what that felt like.
“He never had money growing up, unlike me.” Desmond snorted.
“I am ashamed to admit it, but I did not achieve my success by grit and determination alone. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, as the saying goes. Those people you encountered at the Royal Albert Hall tonight? Unfortunately, they are my people.”
“Where we come from is no indication of where we’re going,” Javier said sagely.
He was so generous that Desmond melted. “Yes, well, Matthew had come from a struggling, broken home. He did work hard to get his business degree and his job at Pickering Jones, but he believed that he was going toward a comfortable life spending my money while simultaneously engaging in extracurricular activities.”
It was as vague as Desmond could be, but Javier had him pegged instantly. “He cheated on you,” he said, expression going dark.
“Several times,” Desmond said, staring into his tea. “While berating me for working too many hours and ignoring him.”
“What an absolute wanker,” Javier said, then, despite his pure, British accent, added what sounded like a string of obscenities in Spanish.
Desmond gulped his tea. He wouldn’t mind Javier uttering a string of just about anything in Spanish as he railed—
No, he had to keep his mind out of the gutter. At least as long as his stomach was still iffy.
“I’m rid of him now,” Desmond said with a tight smile. “Well, mostly. Almost.”
“He does seem to think he can win you back,” Javier said. He leaned closer to Des and whispered, “I heard a rumor that he hired some ridiculous singing telegram guy to come to your office dressed in nothing but glitter and a nappy.”
Desmond had to shift the way he was sitting and was desperately tempted to drag a pillow across his lap. He did manage to laugh, though, and a second later, a series of cock-withering thoughts fired through his head.
“I’m still paying him an allowance,” he admitted, unable to hold Javier’s gaze.
“You’re what?” Javier reacted with comical exuberance.
“I know, I know,” Desmond sighed, shoulders dropping. “It’s a horrible idea and the very last thing I should be doing, but—”
But he had to keep paying Matthew. Matthew knew things. You didn’t spend five years living with someone for them to walk away without knowing your secrets. And there were some secrets Desmond had that absolutely could not see the light of day. Ever.
“But nothing,” Javier said, shaking his head. “You’re a good man, Desmond White, but goodness does not extend to paying an ex an allowance. Especially when they cheated on you and made you sit on uncomfortable furniture.”
Desmond burst into a self-effacing laugh. He could have hugged Javier for bringing humor into what was a miserable situation. And for a lot of other reasons.
“I know,” he sighed. “The whole thing is a massive cock-up. If I could go back in time and do things differently, I would.” In far more ways than one.
Javier must have sensed his gloom. He sighed, put his mug down, took Desmond’s and set it on the table in front of the sofa, too, then shifted to sit snuggled up against Desmond, his arm around Des’s shoulders.
“I’ll tell you what, honey,” he said, reaching for the remote on the table near the mugs.
“Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, so there has to be some sort of frothy RomCom on the telly.
Why don’t we snuggle up under that blanket over there—” he nodded at the blanket draped over the arm of the sofa on Desmond’s side, “—and watch something with Julia Roberts or Reese Witherspoon or something.”
Desmond smiled, feeling like something warm and beautiful was about to unfurl inside him. “That sounds perfect,” he said, reaching for the blanket.
It was far more than Matthew had ever done with him.
Matthew had always been more of a “dinner-and-a-fuck” sort of date.
As Desmond snuggled up to Javier while Javier flipped through the channels, not even his still tender stomach could spoil the ease that spilled through him, loosening all his muscles and making him a little drowsy, even.
If this was what having Javier as a boyfriend was like, then Desmond most definitely wanted more.