Chapter 8 Misha
EIGHT
MISHA
I’d been unsteady since I’d hugged Tucker after he finished my tattoo.
I’d never felt homesick for my old colony in Alaska, and I was pretty sure that wasn’t what I was feeling now, but when I’d used the computer at the library to search my symptoms—sadness, lack of motivation, inability to enjoy things I usually liked, and feeling like I’d lost something or left something behind—the search engine had suggested I might be homesick.
But when I thought about the people I’d left back in Alaska, including my family, all I felt was an overwhelming sense of relief.
So what was wrong with me?
“Hey, Misha.” A hand waved in front of my face, and I pulled myself out of my thoughts to find Nico staring at me, concern in his eyes.
“Sorry. I missed what you said.”
Nico crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, I got that. I said your name, like, ten times. You okay? You’ve been out of it all morning, and if you keep kneading that dough, it’s going to be too tough to save.”
“Oh, shit.” One of my hands flew up to cover my mouth.
I still wasn’t used to swearing, and every time a curse word slipped out of my mouth, I felt like someone was going to reprimand me.
My reaction stopped my compulsive kneading, though, and when I looked down at the ball of dough, I winced. It was already beyond saving.
Nico pointed to the stool in the corner. “Sit. Tell me what’s going on.”
But I didn’t know what was up with me, so I wasn’t sure I could give him anything. “I think I’m just tired.”
One of Nico’s dark eyebrows lifted until it almost hit his hairline. “Bullshit. When you’re tired or you haven’t slept well, you drink a large coffee with extra hazelnut syrup.” He looked around. “I don’t see a coffee cup, so try again.”
Before I could respond or Nico could push harder, Marissa pushed through the swinging door. “I need more bear claws.”
“I’ve got two trays over there.” Nico nodded toward one of the rolling racks.
Marissa waved her arm. Her wrist was covered in a neon pink cast, the result of her first time on roller skates.
Her new girlfriend was on a local roller derby team and had taken Marissa on a roller skating date that had ended with a broken wrist and a trip to the ER.
They were still together, even if Marissa had sworn off skating forever. “Can you help me carry them?”
“I’ve got it.” I brushed my hands off, leaving my useless lump of dough on the table. It wasn’t like I was helping much in the kitchen.
I grabbed the trays and followed Marissa back into the front of the bakery.
Where Tucker was standing at the counter.
“Misha. Hi.”
I felt my cheeks heat, my heart skipping a beat then picking up the pace to double time. “Hi, Tucker.”
I hadn’t seen him since Monday night, but I couldn’t get the feeling of his arms wrapped around me or the scent of him out of my head.
In a moment of startling clarity that made me stop in my tracks, I realized it was Tucker I’d been missing.
Seeing him again made the weird feeling in my chest go away, and I took a breath that felt like the first real breath I’d taken since I’d left his shop.
And then he smiled at me, and it felt like everything was right in the world, that I was exactly where I should be. I felt myself smile back.
Marissa cleared her throat. “You going to put those in the case, Misha, or do you want to keep holding them?”
“Oh, sorry.” Reluctantly, I pulled my gaze from Tucker and slid the trays into the pastry case.
When I looked back up at Tucker, his wide smile was gone, replaced by a look I couldn’t decipher.
It wasn’t a scowl or a grimace, but he looked confused, maybe even conflicted, but there wasn’t anger in his expression like the first time we’d stood in this exact same spot.
Instead it looked like there was something he wanted to say but he was holding the words back through sheer force of will.
I wanted to ask what was wrong, but the words got stuck in my throat and what came out was, “The bear claws are fresh.” It was a stupid thing to say, and Tucker’s expression barely changed, a tiny tip of his lips the only indication that he’d heard me.
He just kept staring at me with that weird expression in his eyes.
Marissa broke the moment, hip checking me out of the way. “You wanted two of these, right, Tucker?”
His gaze flicked to her. “Yes. Please.” He tacked the please on as an afterthought as his eyes returned to me.
I was held in his stare, and I wanted to ask why he was looking at me like he was, but I didn’t.
I just soaked up his presence like a dry sponge soaking up water, and when Marissa handed him a bag and motioned him down the counter toward the cash register, I watched.
I watched him until he got to the door where he turned around and waved, that strange expression still on his face.
I waved back, and Tucker smiled, the odd way he’d been staring at me fading away. My attention stayed stuck on the front of the shop until Tucker passed the windows and disappeared from view.
Marissa nudged me again. “Um, what the hell was that? Why was Tucker Sharpe looking at you like he was ready to torch the pastry case to get to you?”
Is that what that look was?
Nico backed through the swinging door. “Who’s torching what now?”
“No one.” I shook my head.
Marissa smirked. “Tucker was just in here grabbing a couple bear claws, and it looked like he was a second and a half away from either jumping the counter or burning the whole thing down to get to Misha here.”
Embarrassment made my cheeks heat even more. “No he was not.”
“Oh yes he was. I didn’t even know you two knew each other.” Marissa and Nico exchanged a glance.
“We don’t. He did my tattoo.” But that wasn’t true. I did know Tucker. I knew the feel of his arms around me and the scent of him. I knew he made me feel safe, and I knew that under his gruff, inked exterior he was sweet and kind. I knew I wanted to know everything there was about him.
“Well, you must have made quite the impression because that alpha wants you bad.”
“He does not.” But that didn’t mean I didn’t want him. Because I did. I wanted him badly. That homesick feeling was already creeping back in, and now that I knew Tucker had the power to drive it away, even if I didn’t understand why, I wanted to be around him even more.
Marissa started to say something else, but Nico shot her a glare. “Leave it alone, Marissa.”
“Fine. But I know what I saw.” She flounced off, pink cast swinging, to help another customer.
“That salve is great for sunburn.” I pointed to the jar the young woman was holding in her hand.
Her shoulders and her nose were bright red from too much time spent in the sun, and I was the tiniest bit worried that she was out in the sun again, strolling the farmer’s market, without wearing something over her already burned skin.
“It has local beeswax, shea butter, lavender, chamomile, and just a touch of peppermint to help cool the burn.”
“Perfect. I’ll take it.” She laughed and picked up another jar. “Actually, I’d better take two.”
I smiled. “Sounds great.” I finished checking her out and passed her order over in a recycled brown paper bag, then ducked down to grab a few extra jars of the salve from the box under the table to replace the ones she’d just purchased.
When I came back up, I almost dropped the jars.
Tucker was standing there, looking at me with that strange expression again.
“Hi, Misha.” He shoved his hands in his pockets like he was nervous or something, but his expression didn’t change.
I’d been feeling homesick—I’d started thinking of it that way because I didn’t have a better way to describe it—but just like at the bakery, seeing Tucker made everything inside me that felt like it was all tangled up unknot.
“Hi, Tucker. It’s good to see you.” I held my arm out so he could see my tattoo. “I took the wrap off yesterday.”
He took my hand, and my skin tingled, little pinpricks of sparking light racing up my arm and making my skin pebble with goose bumps and my heart speed up.
He ran his thumb over the back of my hand as he inspected the tattoo.
“It looks great. A little dry, though. Can you swing by the shop later and I’ll give you some aftercare cream to put on it? ”
“Uh, sure. What time?”
“Any time. I’m heading over there right now to do some admin stuff, and I’ll be there all day.”
“Okay. I’ll come by as soon as I can.”
“Good. Sounds good.” That odd look was back in his eyes, and I once again got the impression he was holding back something he desperately wanted to say.
Again, I wanted to ask, but the booth had filled up, and there were customers waiting for me.
“Have a great day, Misha. I can’t wait to see you later. ”
His words made me blush, but he was gone before I could say anything else.
The rest of the day passed in a blur, and by the end of the market we were almost sold out.
Miss Abbott didn’t like to be on her feet all day, so she’d started dropping me off in the morning and picking me up in the afternoon.
She stayed just long enough to help with setup and returned to help with cleanup.
“You did great today, Misha. We are going to be busy until next month restocking everything you sold.” She patted my arm affectionately.
“Thank you.” I remembered something I’d been thinking about since Tucker had stopped by. “Miss Abbott, I have an idea for a beeswax tattoo balm. Do you think we could try making some?”
She grinned at me. “What are you thinking?”