Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Saint Cage, Haven
“ H ave you been in Saint Hall all day, Tom?” I demand. “Did your knothead Dad do anything else to you, or have you been trying to take that revenge ? It was ballsy talking about it to his face like that. I love how he didn’t know that he was the one being hunted.”
Thomas doesn’t reply.
I peer through the partially open door into the en suite bathroom in Thomas’ bedroom.
The bathroom is decorated with gleaming turquoise tiles that match the blind at the window. Silvery moonlight lights up the sink and toilet at the far side and the modern waterfall shower.
There is no other light.
It makes unease shiver up my spine that Thomas is sitting in the dark in the bathtub that sits in the center of the room.
I stare at the stiff set of his hunched, pale shoulders.
His head is bowed. His arms encircle his knees that are pulled up to his chest.
What the hell has happened?
He’s sat like this before.
Somehow, I know it.
I feel sick.
I’m only wearing one of Thomas’ oversized white shirts because I was changing for bed but wanted to feel close to my Alpha.
It smells deliciously of his scent.
I work to focus on his emotions alone in the bond, but they’re worryingly numb.
Concerned, I push open the door and rush into the bathroom.
“Are you okay?” I reach to card my fingers through Thomas’ damp hair.
He doesn’t move a muscle like I’m not touching him.
“Am I okay?” Thomas’ voice holds a strange quality. He’s staring blankly in front of himself. “My fated mates, whose Soul Mark I bear above my heart, and the man I love, are the ones who are injured. Check for yourself. All my bruises are old.”
I scan over his muscled chest and strong back, assessing him for new injuries. I linger over the wolf SAINT pack Soul Mark, which matches my own. I long to trace over it with my tongue.
I don’t know why Thomas is shivering and covered with goosebumps. It’s not that cold in here.
Yet he’s right that he has no new bruises.
But wounds inside can’t be seen. I know that. And they’re much harder to heal.
I slide to the hard marble floor of the bathroom with a grimace. Then I sit cross legged.
“Well, that’s a good thing.” I hold up my wrist, which is bruised. “I’ve iced this, and the others have tended to their injuries as well. We’ll all heal. We simply have to work out a way to get the fuck out of here, while taking down your dad.”
Thomas’ gaze slides to my own. “That’s where I’ve been, speeding up the plan to rescue you all. I won’t spend a single other day here, sweet venom, where I have to pretend to be that type of Alphahole.”
“To be fair,” I quirk my lips, “you do play commanding well.”
For the first time, Thomas turns his head to fully look at me. “Is that so, sweetness? I also play the strong Alpha, ready to annihilate everyone who touches the people I love. Does that meet your approval?”
He means bossy.
I don’t say that. He looks too dangerous.
I lick my lips. “Oh, yeah.”
“Our hunt begins now.” Thomas’ eyes darken. “Revenge Day is Saturday.”
My brow furrows. “The day of the Haven Food Festival…? I don’t understand.”
Thomas shivers, wrapping his arms more tightly around himself. “We’ll plan tomorrow. Tonight, I’m shattered. But it gives us three days together to plan. After my academy award winning performance—”
“Hey, don’t I win an award?”
Thomas arches his brow. “Best Omega. The kiss on my foot sealed it.”
I blush. “I’d like to thank—”
“No time for speeches. After our outstanding performances, Dad now trusts me enough to be left on my own for the next few days, while Richard and he travels around the state, sealing shady deals with businesses before the festival. The festival is only a front for his corrupt deals with those corporate businesses anyway. The ones that he plans to give the independent premises to at low rent prices, when he forces you and other businessowners out.”
I fucking knew it.
The mayor and his entire office in Haven is corrupt.
I need to warn Vito. He’s going to freak.
When I growl, Thomas releases soothing pheromones to calm me.
“Don’t use up all your outrage in one go,” Thomas drawls. “He also wants to use the festival to officially announce our bonding. It’ll be like a fuck you to the Snake pack. Now that he’s had time to think about it, he’s reveling in the power that he has over both the Ace and Snake pack.”
I bare my teeth. “Then he’s a dumbass. He has no idea how venomous my pack are. Never let a snake onto your bosom because it’ll bite you.”
I slide my tattooed hand, as if it’s a water snake, toward the bath with a grin.
When I trail it in the water, however, I hiss.
Shit, that’s cold.
How is Thomas sitting in that?
“It’s fucking freezing.” I snatch my hand back, shaking off the droplets as quickly as I can. “Get the hell out, and I’ll dry you.”
To my shock, Thomas shakes his head.
“This is what I deserve.” His voice has that flat tone, which I’m growing to hate. “You heard my own dad. This is what I’ve needed to survive. I don’t have a heart. I’m coldblooded.”
“Shut the fuck up.” I can’t hold myself back.
I surge up, grabbing Thomas by the chin and turning him into a kiss that’s all teeth and biting anger.
I want to stop his words.
I need to bring him back to me.
When I draw back, we’re both panting.
Finally, Thomas is looking at me, and his gaze is clear again.
“Permission granted to shut me up like that more often,” he murmurs.
I decide to risk another order.
“Get out of the bath.” I try for imperious but don’t pull it off.
“Nice try, Omega, but I’m still the one who commands here.”
Frustrated, I don’t let go of Thomas’ chin. “Why the hell would you take a cold bath? How long have you been in there?”
Thomas drops his gaze. “I don’t know. It helps to atone. You wash away your sins. That’s bullshit, I know. But inside, I can’t… I had to take one like this every night at the Alpha Center. Sometimes, when I feel like I’ve been a bad Alpha, it’s too hard to resist the routine.”
My heart breaks.
I let go of Thomas’ chin, stroking down his sharp cheekbone. “I’m sorry that you were treated like that. But you have nothing to atone for. You’re the best Alpha. We were all pretending in that room the best that we could to get out alive. The stakes were fucking everything.”
Thomas looks down at the water. “It was agony to feel the moment Ghost and you were discovered in the basement but not to be able to save you. I could also feel the moment in the study that you caught onto the game, my smart Omega. But will Ghost forgive me?”
“Ghost loves you,” I say, firmly. If there’s one thing that I’m sure of, then it’s that. “I can’t regret that by Link being forced to step up and showing that he’d take a bullet for Ghost, now those two have connected. My gargoyle has earned Ghost’s trust. They’ve been spending the day together in the basement. Link tended to my injuries, as well as Ghost’s. Then Ghost officially introduced Link to Sugar.”
“Now that’s huge,” Thomas agrees. “It’s like Meet the Cat , rather than Meet the Parents .”
“I’d watch that.” I chuckle. “I left them after lunch curled up together. Ghost was napping with his head on Link’s lap and my blue blanket pulled up to his chin. He was purring happily in his sleep. They both looked to be in heaven. I left them together, so that they could have time alone to properly grow to know each other.”
“You mean suck each other’s dicks.”
I choke on my tongue.
“Fuck, I hope so.” Then I shake my head to get over that seriously hot image. “The point is that Ghost’s been in on your plan from the beginning. He’ll trust you as much as I do. So, how about we warm you up now?”
I don’t fully understand why Thomas needs to put himself through a freezing bath.
But I do know that he’s punishing himself.
He shouldn’t.
We’re all working together to keep each other safe and help Omegas everywhere. Wearing the mask of the cruel, Traditional Alpha is what’s most effective for Thomas, and ironically, he’s being hurt by that more than the rest of us are.
Thomas doesn’t answer.
Instead, he stares out of the window at the crescent moon for a long moment, which hangs in the inky black, surrounded by sparkling stars.
“For those long months in the Alpha Center, I couldn’t see the sky,” he says, quietly. My stomach churns. I remain as still as I can not to break the spell because I bet that Thomas has never told anyone about the center, and he needs to. It’s poison inside him; it needs to be extracted. “The first time that I was sent there, I was devastated by a sense of betrayal. Dad told me that he was sending me on a business course. It turns out that I hadn’t even done anything wrong to deserve it. Dad simply wanted somewhere to stash me, while he arranged my sister’s forced matching to Fletcher. He knew that if I’d been in Haven, I’d have done anything to stop that bonding.”
“So, you were too late to save her.”
“I felt fucking powerless, seeing my sister trapped like that.” He ducks his head. “But that first time, it was more or less like attending college with training courses named asshole things like Dominance 101 or How to Discipline the Out of Control Beta, except with cells for dorms and beatings if you played truant. But they did serve an excellent cappuccino at breakfast. On the other hand, the second time that I was sent to the center…”
He hesitates, and his hands tighten to the point of pain on his legs.
“You don’t have to tell me,” I say. “But I’m here, if you need to talk.”
Water droplets hang on Thomas’ long eyelashes like tears. “That time, I was viewed as a repeat offender. I was sent to an entirely different wing with the criminals and Alphas who’d been sentenced to the center indefinitely. I met Fletcher.”
My eyes widen. “Shit.”
“I’ve told Ghost about it. It’ll probably be the last that he hears about his brother, and I can’t keep that from him. I haven’t told him the details of what was done to Fletcher and me, however, because it’d hurt Ghost too much. The kind brother that he knows isn’t the man who nearly killed my sister. At first, I tried to tear out Fletcher’s throat. They had to separate us. But then, as we suffered side by side, I realized, as we talked, that in his own twisted way, he’d tried to protect Mercy from his brutal pack. Some of us can see beyond the brainwashing of our families and rise up against them. Others can’t. Fletcher was weak. A coward. It’s enough that he’s stuck in that hellhole for the rest of his life. He’s lost family, pack, and love. I got to come home. He never will; he’ll always be caged. But he was only Dad’s foot soldier. Dad’s the one who deserves to be in the cell next to him.”
My heart’s beating fast. I’m trembling.
“Do you want to tell me what was done to you?” I force myself to whisper.
I don’t want to know.
Thomas has been hiding this to protect Ghost, however, and it’s wrecking him.
Thomas’ gaze darts to my face, and I’ve never been so relieved that it feels like he’s back with me, rather than trapped in that past, caged in the center.
“I could only tell you this. Thank you for giving me this.” Thomas’ magnetic gaze holds mine.
I feel privileged.
Yet a deep loneliness sheets through the bond.
It’s devastating.
For the first time, it truly hits me that Thomas has been separated from his twin.
His fucking twin.
I know how hard it was to lose Lincoln.
Yet Thomas was never apart from Mercy in high school. I never saw them with anyone else.
All they had was each other.
How alone must Thomas have been feeling for the last couple of years?
He won’t feel alone any longer, however, because now he has a new pack. We love him. Lincoln and I have the closest bond in the world to him.
I will spend my life making certain that he knows he won’t be betrayed, hurt, or left by himself again.
Thomas straightens his shoulders.
He doesn’t break his gaze, and this time, he looks fiercely determined.
I admire his courage.
I nod my encouragement.
“The second time that I was sentenced to the center by Dad,” Thomas forces out each word, “it wasn’t about training, rather breaking with pain. But I didn’t break. I became colder and colder. Nothing could hurt me because I was an ice statue. Of course, the Chief Instructor appeared to have realized this. When he didn’t get the fun responses from me that he wanted, he tried a new approach.”
“What?”
“He had me strip naked in front of a full-length mirror. The method is to make you face yourself. Humiliate you. I just shrugged. He became even angrier, forcing me to write Bad Alpha in marker pen over myself. Then I had to look at myself in the mirror again. And this time…” Thomas becomes ashen. “ Bad Alpha … Bad Alpha … Bad Alpha …it was the only thing that I could see. It was the first time that my ice cracked. I was a bad Alpha, and it was all that I’d ever be. Bad Alpha, Bad Alpha …”
A tear trickles down my cheek, as Thomas repeats the mantra. He’s caught in the past.
He’s not a bad Alpha.
He’s mine.
“You’re good.” I grab Thomas by the shoulders, shaking him. “If I have to brand it into every inch of your skin with kisses or lick the words onto your fucking ass, then I will. You’re my soul mate, and only the best Alpha in this country could be that.”
Thomas blinks like he’s coming out of a trance. Then his gaze brightens like he’s truly seeing me.
“Brand me with kisses? Lick good Alpha onto my ass?” He snarls in a way that instantly makes my pussy wet.
I stand, gripping his hair and yanking. “Now, get up. You’re never taking a cold bath again. My Alpha deserves to be pampered and loved. I’ll run your next bath for you with rose oils and candles, then I’ll wash you, until you’re relaxed and panting.”
“I told you not to give me orders.” But Thomas’ eyes are twinkling with mischief, which makes happiness come alive in me. “Why can’t the oil smell of blueberry muffins? You know that it’s my favorite scent.”
I preen. He knows how to compliment an Omega.
“Done. Blueberry muffin oils and the best relaxing hot bath of your life.”
“But now, you said something about licking and kissing my ass, or was it my cock?” Thomas shakes my hand out of his hair and stands up, sending the freezing water splashing over the sides of the bath.
I yelp, jumping back.
How can he be more gorgeous wet than when dry?
Still, I try to send Thomas a death glare. It’s too hard, however, when he’s standing dripping in the bath, with water trailing down his chiseled chest, and laughing.
It’s a deep laugh that I want to draw from him, again and again.
Then he stops, and fire flares in his eyes.
He steps out of the bath, prowling toward me.
I stumble backward, until I’m pinned against the bathroom wall.
I’m breathing hard, and my nipples peak. They feel sensitive already, rubbing against the silk of my pajamas, as Thomas leans in close enough to brush them with his chest.
A drop of water like a tear falls from his hair onto my cheek.
He leans even closer, until his breath is tickling my ear.
I’m shivering myself now.
“You did promise to warm me up.” Thomas’ voice is low and gravelly. It makes me want to both press my thighs together and spread them welcomingly apart at the same time. I whine, overloaded already by the need for my Alpha and his thick cock inside me, connecting us after the roles that we were forced to play together. I know that he feels the same. “May I make love to you?”
My breath hitches.
Not rut or fuck.
Make love.
It’s the first time that he’s called it that.
Suddenly, I desire that more than anything.
“Please.” I can’t say more.
Words are too hard right now.
I simply need Thomas’ body on mine. I’m desperate to warm him like he needs to feel that we’re both safe, together, and loved.
He appears to understand because he doesn’t attempt to talk again.
Instead, he kisses me, surprisingly soft and gentle.
He is making love to me.
Thomas takes his time to explore my mouth. He kisses me slowly, alternating feather-light kisses down my jaw and neck that make me melt.
Then I gasp, as he sweeps me into his arms and lays me down onto the marble floor.
He reaches to push down my pajama bottoms, and I eagerly wriggle to help him, kicking them off.
Then he pushes up my pajama top, exposing my breasts and bunching the silky material under my chin.
I shiver.
Thomas’ cock is hard and eager against my hip already.
His skin is cool but warming rapidly, as he lies over me. He presses every inch that he can against me like he truly can imprint my love and good Alpha over himself.
He rolls his hips against me, and his cock teases my pussy. I widen my legs, and he moans at the sensation.
Our gazes meet.
Above me like this, as he holds himself up by his arms and his lean muscles work to raise him up and down, it’s shocking how much his suits hide the body of an Adonis.
Possessiveness washes over me.
So many people have tried to own Thomas, the most beautiful man in Haven. If they knew that he looked like this , then the fight to bond with him would have been even worse.
But this gorgeous Alpha is mine.
He chose two Reject Omegas and a bodyguard Beta from a mob pack.
Thomas could have a level of power and status that most Alphas only dream about.
Yet he’s throwing away all of that to change society for the better for every Omega.
I’m going to make sure that he never thinks he’s a bad Alpha again.
I moan at the feel of Thomas’ cool, muscled body on top of mine.
It’s intimate.
Perfect.
He hooks his feet around my ankles, spreading my legs further, before sliding his cock up and down my wet pussy.
Then he thrusts, slow and steady.
I whine, and he kisses me.
He doesn’t stop thrusting into me, deep enough to make my toes curl.
When his hair falls forward over his face, I tenderly push it back. He smiles at me.
Then he pulls back but he keeps the pace slow and steady, kissing me just as deeply as he thrusts.
His love through the bond winds around us both.
It’s overwhelming.
This is so different to the time that I can remember him knotting me, during my heat.
It’s not about biological need, saving me, or kinky desire.
It’s truly making love.
I sigh in pleasure.
Thomas’ abdominal muscles contract with the rhythm of his thrusts that are speeding up now.
When his eyes close and he throws back his head, I notice the true length of his lashes on his pale cheek.
Shocked, my eyes widen, as ecstasy that had been winding through me at a slow pace unexpectedly hits.
I scream as I come.
“Good Omega,” Thomas murmurs in my ear, speeding up his pace now.
“Good Alpha.” I lean up to capture his lips.
And those words are what do it.
He stiffens and comes.
But he never takes his gaze from mine, awe-struck.
“Good Alpha,” I repeat.
I will Thomas to believe my words because this ritual is written between us with love and cum and I’ll repeat it as many times as he needs.
Because this is true equality.