Chapter 3
Candy
We’ve been moving slowly closer together at the bar.
I’m so aware of every time our knees touch, or how close his arm is to mine.
The occasional graze of my body against his.
The way his wry half smile makes my stomach do backflips and how it might feel if he kissed me.
To be wrapped up in those strong arms. To feel his lips on mine.
I’ve been so wrapped up in Jackson, I hadn’t even noticed that the bar had started to fill up and a band was starting to tune up on the stage.
The drinks have gone to my head, I don’t usually let down my guard like this, but it feels good.
Talking with Jackson is as exciting as Christmas morning used to be as a kid.
Feeling his eyes on me. Wondering what he might say next.
“I like you.” Those words rang out like a bell. Isn’t this what I have always wanted? To be the one who is looked at. But for far too long I’ve lived my life on the outside looking in.
It’s my glass half full. I get to be there to see other people being happy. I bake sweet treats to bring others joy. I’ve come to terms with it. My lot in life.
But now this handsome man is paying me attention. Listening when I talk. Looking at me with heat in his eyes. And I haven’t missed the dirty looks he has been sending his brother whenever he comes back around to re-fill our drinks.
Do I want to dance?
God, yes! More than anything, I want to dance with a handsome man who makes my heart beat fast and makes me feel hot all over.
But as we spin around on the dance floor, his arms around me. Laughing and smiling. Feeling the heat off his body and the heat behind those looks, I remind myself that this is just a moment.
Tomorrow I’ll be back to being the girl serving up joy to others. So I enjoy this for what it is. A moment in time. I’m going to soak up every morsel of this night. I’m going to drink all the Christmas drinks, enjoy every touch, every laugh, and love every moment.
Several hours later, I walk outside with Jackson.
I’m a little wobbly on my feet and lean against his strong frame for warmth and support.
He smells so good, like warm vanilla, spices and whiskey.
My head on his chest, my gripping at his shirt.
His body rock hard under my touch. I don’t normally drink a lot but I like the way the world is slightly spinning and my inhibitions are lowered.
I’m a virgin, but could this be the night I have my first time with a man? With a very sexy, hot, beautiful man. I look up into his face and grin. He looks at me with a hunger I recognise. His gaze drops to my lips.
I turn to face him, leaning my body against his. His arms around me, I get lost in his eyes. I have so many feelings welling up inside of me. My stomach is doing little flips. There is so much I want to say to him and yet the words feel stuck in my throat.
He lowers his head. His lips touch mine. Gentle. A soft kiss and yet heat rushes through me. He deepens the kiss. Tongue against tongue. My heart is racing.
I feel hot like a fever has taken me. I want more. I have so many emotions building and building.
I can’t believe this is happening.
The world spins.
Everything spins.
Oh my God.
I rip my mouth away from him. Bend over and empty the contents of my stomach all over the sidewalk. And his shoes. Splattering up his legs. I mumble an apology just before everything goes dark.