Chapter Fourteen
Tandy
The sound of my ringing phone wakes me from a fitful sleep. When I check I already know who it is. He’s got one of the special ringtones that I only give to my family. He finally called but I don’t answer.
All I want to do is curl back up in my bed and drift off again. But I’ve not been sleeping well at all. I’m sad and I’ve spent all weekend crying and most of the week. I hate to admit it but the idea of fading away is becoming more and more appealing.
I’m sad. I miss him. I hate him too. I miss my friend, but I also miss…more. Maybe I’m mourning for what could have but probably never would have been. It isn’t like I didn’t know this would be how things turned out. I only have myself to blame.
I skipped the monthly get-together with my sister and her friends and all the babies. I just couldn’t pretend I was alright and everything was just like it always was. I just want to holed up in my room and forget I ever met Rip, forget the last month has ever happened, forget I exist.
I guess I should be grateful it is over before things went any further with him or I could have become even more…attached to him. I’m also kicking myself because I never should have touched him like I did, never opened myself up to his fickle ass. All football players are users and jerks and shitheads.
He probably bonged every girl at the game and that’s why he didn’t want me to go with him. No need for little sister to run interference if you actually want to fuck every girl you meet. Guess getting off in front of me only served to whet his appetite and he went looking for someone who knows what she is doing and doesn’t shy away from getting him off.
A fresh bought of tears leak from my already wet, tired eyes. When will it ever stop? And what do I do now that I’ve been broken once again? This time feels so much worse too. And Rip didn’t even lead me on like Roger did. It is all my own doing. I finally drift off into oblivion after I cry myself out again.
“Taffy, sweetheart. Sweetheart. Are you okay, baby?”
The voice is what causes my sadness to well up inside of me uncontrollably, leading me to sob out in my twilight stage of sleep. It’s wholly unfair that he should follow me into my sleep to haunt me when it’s the only escape I have.
“Tandy.”
This time his voice jerks me from sleep and I awake to find him standing over me.
“Rip?”
Great I’ve lost my mind and now I’m hallucinating. “What the hell?”
Just one more thing for me to worry about.
“Are you sick? Did someone hurt you?”
When his hand touches my forehead, I realize he’s not just a figment of my emotionally drained psyche. I lurch up after pushing his hand from my head.
“What are you doing in my room?”
“Why are you crying? And skipping classes?”
How does he know about me skipping a few of my classes? Instead of answering him, I go on the offensive.
“Get out! Get out now!”
Anger sets in and I find I can deal with it a lot easier than I can this overwhelming sadness that draped over me like a funeral shroud when he left. Guess he’s done getting his dick wet so I’m back to being his little sister shield. Only I’m not his sister and I won’t ever put myself out there for this man again.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what is wrong?”
Like I will ever do that! I jump out of bed and nearly fall on my face. He puts his arms out to catch me but I want no part of him.
“Get out! Go! LEAVE!”
“Really? Why are you pissed at me?”
Of course! Nothing is his fault. It’s all my fault. Classic mindset of a narcissistic player.
“Rip, I haven’t slept in two days. And slept like shit before that. Get out of my room, get out of the house, and go to your own home. Find some bimbo to suck your dick and leave me alone. I’m through. Done. We’re done.”
And not a moment left to spare. If I had kept seeing only the good side of him I would have been in so much more pain.
“No more study sessions, no more parties, no more tutoring. Your grades are good so you don’t need me anymore! You don’t need me!”
And I don’t need the heartache that comes with being around him.