Prologue #3
It was different with Finlay. She got all bright and shiny when she looked at him. Made him feel like…well, like the man he wanted to be.
As he picked up the comb, he noticed a slight tremble in his hand.
It only took a second to figure out why.
Hope.
No matter how hard he tried to smash it, hope pulsed in his gut. It had him leaving his friends after school to go find a pretty girl in the village.
And, you know, why can’t I be the man she sees?
She’d gotten into UCLA, so he’d figured they’d never see each other again. But if he went to Los Angeles with her, he could build a brand-new reputation.
After trimming his beard, he shaved. Then he dragged a wet comb through his hair.
In his tuxedo, clean-shaven, hair tamed, he looked…all right.
Like a man who could be with a woman like Finlay O’Neill.
Feeling lighter than he had in years, he came downstairs to find two of his brothers in the living room with Ava and his dad. Wyatt wasn’t around, but then, that wasn’t a big surprise. That dude was always holed up in his room.
But Jude didn’t want them to make a big deal about his date, so he breezed right past the lineup. “I’m out of here.”
Boone, the youngest—and his polar opposite, with blond hair and blue eyes—stepped in front of him, shoving something into his pocket. “Wrap it up.” He burst out laughing.
Jude pulled it out. “What do you know about condoms?” He gave him a shove. “You’re twelve.”
Boone just laughed. “I took ’em from your drawer.”
“Stay out of my room,” Jude said.
“Know what else I found?” Boone’s eyes glittered.
God only knew what his friends had left there. Probably a joint. Jude rushed him. “Shut your mouth.”
“Boys.” Ava clapped her hands. “Game on.”
The two of them froze. Decker tensed.
“You’ve got three minutes to grab anything that starts with the letter C,” Ava said. “The one who collects the most gets a tank full of gas. Go.”
The three brothers scattered. Jude didn’t have time for this shit, so he headed into the kitchen and got an entire bag of carrots. He’d argue that each one was a separate C, but just in case, he grabbed cauliflower, half a cake, and as many packets of his dad’s hot cocoa as he could carry.
“Time,” Ava called.
Jude stopped, just as he knew his brothers had done. The McKennas might be competitive, but they were honorable.
“Bring everything to the table.” She stood there with her hands on her hips.
Boone came downstairs at the same time Decker came up from the basement. When Ava saw Jude’s pile, she just shook her head.
“Grand slam,” Jude said. “Am I right?”
Ava laughed and lifted his arm. “Winner. Now, go on.” She waved him away. “Get out of here. I owe you a tank of gas.”
As he crossed the living room, the front door opened, and the fourth brother walked in.
The moody, quiet, second-born son had a box in his hand. He didn’t break his stride as he handed it to Jude and headed up the stairs.
“What is it?” Boone asked.
“It’s a corsage.” Ava sighed. “That’s so sweet.” She nudged Jude. “Your brother went out of his way to get this for you. Thank him.”
“Thanks, man.”
But by then, of course, Wyatt was gone.
“All right, I’m out of here.” Jude headed for the door.
“Well, wait,” his dad said. “You taking your bike?”
“Yeah.” He hadn’t thought it through. Finlay would be wearing a fancy dress and high heels. “Actually, no. I need to borrow your truck.” Jude wasn’t used to formal dates. The girls he hung around with wore as little as possible.
His dad pulled the keys to his truck out of his jeans. “Here.”
“You might want to go to Bliss after,” Ava said. “Get some ice cream.”
Unexpectedly, Jude’s heart pinched hard. That was the kind of wholesome thing Finlay would love. He’d definitely do that for her.
He headed outside into the crisp early evening air. The sharp scent of pine cleared his head. He’d had a lot of fantasies about Finlay, but it was like lusting after a model or movie star. Now, though, a world of possibilities cracked open.
When he got in his dad’s truck and started the engine, he realized his fingers were tingling.
What’s wrong with me?
Sweat broke out on his hairline.
After a three-point turn, he made his way down the long driveway. His fingers flexed on the steering wheel.
And then, he did something bizarre. Something totally out of character.
And he only knew he did it because he checked in the rearview mirror and saw it with his own eyes.
He smiled.
Because he was fucking happy.
He couldn’t wait to see her. To spend a whole evening with her.
No one in the world was as pretty and smart and strong. He didn’t know for sure, but it looked like she had the softest skin in the world. And he’d only gotten whiffs, but her scent drove him wild.
All this time, he’d thought she was off-limits.
But tonight, he’d get to touch her, dance with her.
He imagined them swaying together, her cheek resting on his shoulder, his arm belted around her waist, those big, plump breasts pressed against his chest. Damn, just the thought of it got him half hard.
As he turned onto Highway 191, his cell phone rang again. He glanced at the screen.
Marco.
Nope. Not tonight.
Tonight, he was ignoring his friends.
But it rang again. And then, a third time.
Something’s wrong. He picked up his phone. “Yeah?” The background noise was staticky. He heard panting. Feet pounding. Alarm sounded through his body. “What’s going on?”
“You gotta come get us,” Marco said. “Now.”
“Where are you?” Jude demanded.
“On Crested Bluff. Heading into the woods off Robin’s Lane. You know the house there?”
“The abandoned one?” Jude asked.
“Yeah.” Marco was out of breath. “Cops are on our fuckin’ asses. Hurry.”
He pulled the truck over and closed his eyes. Finlay was his north, and his body’s compass strained in that direction, demanding he stay on the right course.
But fragments of memories flickered somewhere in the depths of his mind.
Boys laughing. Kicking him.
Holding him down.
That terrifying helplessness, weakness. The rage, fear.
And then, a curly-haired boy rushing in with a guttural shout, punching and head-butting with reckless abandon. All to save me.
For his first few months in Calamity, until he’d found his place in the club, Marco had protected him. Saved him.
“Get in the bushes,” that same boy shouted to his friends right then. “Jude’s on his way.”
“Shit.” Jude slammed his fist on the steering wheel.
“Fuck.” No, he didn’t participate in their criminal activity, but they were still his friends.
And Marco had been there for him when he needed it most. What kind of man would he be if he turned his back on him when he no longer needed the protection?
“Hurry, man,” Marco shouted. “You know what they said last time. We’re eighteen now. We’ll go to jail.”
Crossing lanes, he turned the truck around and headed in the opposite direction.
He’s coming.
He wouldn’t blow me off.
Alone, Finlay stood on the front lawn. Everyone had boarded the party bus, but she was still watching for a motorcycle to come roaring down this quiet, suburban street.
Where was he? What was he doing?
“Fee?” Her best friend stepped off the bus. “Forget prom. Let’s make nachos and watch dirty movies.”
“No, you’re going.” Finlay had only been included in this group because of Willa, but man, it sure had seemed like the dream prom night. Jude as her date, and a group of friends to pre-party with. What could be better?
Instead, it was turning into a nightmare. Because Jude still hadn’t shown up.
But Finlay wouldn’t ruin this night for her friend, so she plastered on a smile. “Don’t worry about me. Let’s not forget that three hours ago, I was planning on doing laundry and adding pictures to my mood board.” She tried to sound like she couldn’t care less.
But Willa knew her too well. “He’s forty-five minutes late. I don’t think he’s coming.”
The sickly sweet scent of her friend’s corsage made Finlay a little queasy. Because the truth was, she knew her friend was right.
“I’ll tell Josh I’m not going.” Her friend turned and started off.
But Finlay grabbed her arm. “Stop it. You’re going to prom.”
“And what’re you going to do?”
“I’m going to wait a little longer.” When her friend started to protest, she said, “If you’re right, and he doesn’t come, my mom’ll come get me.
” That was a lie. Her mom was working. So was her dad.
No one was coming. “Either way, I’ll be fine.
It’s not like I’ve been planning for months to go with him. ”
But Willa wasn’t buying her false cheer. “I can’t have fun if you’re sad.”
“Okay, fine. If he blows me off, you can come over tomorrow and feed me tubs of cookies and cream ice cream, okay? But tonight…” The smile died.
There was no point in faking it with someone who knew her as well as Willa.
“I just want to be alone.” It was how she handled things. She needed time to process. By herself.
That’s how I’m built.
Willa’s date stepped off the bus and joined them. “He’s not coming.” He held out his phone. “Look.”
Finlay’s stomach twisted into a knot as she processed the image on the screen.
It was a Splashagram photo of five boys huddled together in a dark space. They were laughing hysterically.
It took a moment to find Jude because he was in the back. But she’d know those eyes and that mouth anywhere.
He shaved.
Why would he do that if he never planned on coming?
It didn’t make sense.
“What is it?” Willa asked.
Finlay heard their voices like she had cotton stuffed in her ears. Because it finally broke through, how delusional she’d been to cling so tightly to the idea that Jude would go to something as lame as a prom.
She’d actually thought he’d rent a tuxedo. She’d pictured him in a flower shop, deciding which corsage to get.
Even as her heart ripped in half, she burned with shame.
“Hey, I’m not going, okay?” Willa said to her date. “I’m really sorry—”
“No.” Finlay stepped away from her friend. “I’m fine.”
“Fee, if you’re not going, I’m not going.” Her date looked confused and unsure, so Willa said, “Give me a second.” He hesitated but, with a nod, returned to the bus.
“You’re not blowing off your date.” She loved her friend too much to ruin one of the most important high school events. Besides, Finlay really didn’t want company.
“Come on.” Willa nudged her. “Chicks before dicks.”
Finlay stood her ground. “You spent two hundred dollars on that dress and a hundred getting your hair done. You’re going.”
“Ovaries before brovaries.”
“What does that even mean?” It was all Finlay could do to keep it together, but she’d save her breakdown for when she got home. For now, she gave a playful push. “Just go.”
“Sluts before nuts. You’re coming with me, and we’re going to dance and have fun. Please, Fee?”
She honestly couldn’t think of anything worse than being the third wheel with a group of people who weren’t even her friends.
Oh wait.
Yes, she could.
It was being played by the boy she loved with all her heart.