Chapter 15
Cricket Jenkins
I’m trying on my fourth outfit for today, and I want to burn all of my clothes. They looked fine when I tried them on in the store, but now they look terrible. A crop top? Why did I think that was a good idea?
I sigh and grab the blouse and dark jeans I tried on first. They’ll have to be okay. I’m out of time. River will be here in a few minutes.
A knock comes on my door, and I hold the blouse to my chest. “Don’t come in. I’m changing.”
“All right,” Micah’s voice comes from the other side of the door. “But when are you going to get me more of your novel?”
I gape at the closed door. “You read all of that already?”
“Yes. And I need more. You can’t leave me hanging like this. Does he find the note she wrote? Did she get that promotion? Will he find out who is buying up all his paintings?”
I can’t help the smile that crosses my lips. Those words are the best words Micah could have said to me. Well, besides “I love you, Cricket. Will you marry me and be with me forever?”
“I’ll get you more chapters tonight.”
“Thank you. You’re the best.”
“Wait,” I call through the door. “Aren’t you going out with Kiera tonight?”
“Yes. But I can read it after I get home.”
“What if it’s late?”
“Doesn’t matter,” he says in a deep voice. “Send me those chapters, okay?”
My heart warms that he wants to read it so badly he would stay up to get more of my story. “Okay,” I say, my throat tightening.
His footsteps sound outside the door then fade, and I know he went back downstairs to get ready for his date with Kiera.
I turn back to my mirror, but I don’t see myself anymore.
All I see is Micah and Kiera having a great time together.
That cold feeling in the pit of my stomach spreads through me.
It’s the same feeling I always get when Micah’s got a crush on some other woman.
I force myself to focus on getting dressed. By the time I hear River’s car in the driveway, I’ve managed to apply some mascara and lip gloss without making it look like I’m trying too hard.
“Ready for some Christmas magic?” River asks when I climb into his rental car. He’s wearing a button-down shirt under his jacket, and his dark hair is falling over his forehead in that really sexy way.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I say, buckling my seat belt.
The town square is already bustling when we arrive.
Strings of white lights crisscross between the old oak trees, and the smell of hot chocolate and cinnamon donuts fills the air.
The parade floats are lined up along Main Street, each one twinkling with thousands of Christmas lights.
There’s a giant snowman float, complete with moving arms that wave at the crowd, and a sleigh pulled by glowing reindeer.
River buys us hot chocolate from one of the vendor booths, and we find a spot near the fountain where we can see both the parade route and the enormous Christmas tree that stands in the center of the square, waiting to be lit.
“This is nice,” I say, wrapping my hands around the warm cup. Steam rises from the chocolate, and the marshmallows melt on my tongue.
“Yeah, it is.” River’s shoulder brushes mine as we watch a group of kids run past, chasing each other with glow sticks. “I’m glad you came with me.”
The parade starts with the high school marching band playing “Silver Bells,” their instruments gleaming under the streetlights. Float after float rolls by, each one more elaborate than the last. The crowd cheers when Santa’s sleigh appears at the end, and kids rush forward and wave.
River laughs at the sight of the children, and I grin at him.
“You like kids?”
He nods. “They’re adorable.”
“I think so too.”
I turn and spy Micah and Kiera standing near the hot chocolate stand. She’s wearing a jean jacket that makes her look super cute, and her dark hair looks great with that pink streak in it. She laughs at something Micah says.
“Cricket?” River follows my gaze. “Oh, there’s Micah and Kiera.”
“Yeah,” I say quickly, but my voice comes out higher than normal.
Watching Micah with Kiera feels like someone is squeezing my heart with a fist. He’s looking at her the way I’ve always wanted him to look at me, like she’s the most adorable person in the world.
Kiera turns and nods. She waves at us from across the way, then she and Micah start walking over. Micah has that easy smile on his face, the one that makes my knees weak. Kiera looks perfectly put together, like she never has bad hair days or outfit crises.
Micah’s gaze travels over me, and I wonder what he’s thinking. I can’t read his expression.
“Having fun?” Micah asks.
“It’s great,” River says, grinning. “I love the hometown feel of this. It’s like a Hallmark movie. How about you two?”
“We’re having fun.” Kiera slides her hands into her jacket pockets. “That snowman float is impressive. I’m pretty sure it has more personality than half the people I go to school with.”
River laughs. “I’m not sure if that says more about the float or about the high schoolers.”
“The high schoolers, definitely.” Kiera’s grin widens.
“I take it you’re not loving school here.” River raises his eyebrows.
“It’s more fun than a root canal,” Kiera says.
River winces then chuckles. “Ouch. I’m sorry. I had tutors, so I never got the high school experience. I thought it would be fun, but sounds like it’s torture for you.”
“It’s fine.” Kiera waves away her words. She looks around at the lights. “This celebration is fun, though. I love how everyone suddenly becomes best friends when there’s hot chocolate and doughnuts involved. It’s like Christmas magic hopped up on sugar.”
River laughs again then nudges Micah. “She’s funny. Keep this one.”
We chat for another minute before they start the ceremony. The mayor counts down from ten, and when he hits zero, the massive evergreen erupts in thousands of twinkling lights. The crowd cheers, and someone starts singing “Silent Night.”
The experience brings in a special Christmas feeling.
I peer over at Micah because I know he has a hard time around this season.
His parents passed away in January, and he’s told me that Christmas is bittersweet since it was the last of the time he had with his parents alive.
He’s staring at the tree, his jaw tight.
He was just seven years old when they passed.
After the ceremony, Micah and Kiera say goodbye, and most of the crowd starts to disperse. Families with young children head home, and teenagers migrate toward the diner on the corner. River and I walk slowly around the square, and I get the feeling that, like me, he isn’t ready to leave yet.
“The fountain looks pretty at night,” River says as we approach it.
He’s right. The old stone fountain is illuminated by lights that slowly change color, and the water catches the light as it falls. It’s the kind of romantic setting you see in movies.
I look up at River. He’s a sweet guy. He’s attentive, kindhearted, and a gentleman. And he’s my knight in shining cargo shorts. He really is perfect for me.
I take a deep breath. “Do you remember what I told you about the legend?”
River looks at me, and in the dim light, I can’t quite read his expression. “Do you believe in stuff like that?”
“Maybe.” The words come out before I can stop them. “I mean, what if… what if we tried it?”
Nerves assault me. I’m basically asking him to kiss me. And I want him to… right? Or maybe I’m simply tired of feeling like I’m stuck, unable to move forward because I’m too hung up on someone who will never see me the way I want him to.
“Cricket…” River’s voice is gentle.
“I know I freaked out on you the other night,” I say quickly. “But I keep thinking… maybe I’m ready. I mean, I am ready. I want to.”
River is quiet for a long moment. Then he says, “If that’s what you want.”
“Yes.” It is what I want. I think. I need to want it.
He steps closer, and I can smell his cologne mixed with the scent of the pine tree. His hands come up to frame my face, gentle and warm against my cheeks.
“You sure?” he whispers.
I nod, not trusting my voice.
River leans down and kisses me.
It’s soft and sweet, and I can taste hot chocolate on his lips. He’s gentle, like he’s afraid I might break. I close my eyes and wait for the magic to happen—for my heart to race, for butterflies to explode in my stomach, for the world to tilt on its axis the way it does in all the books I’ve read.
But nothing happens.
There’s no spark, no electricity, no sudden realization that this is what I’ve been missing. It’s just… a kiss. Pleasant enough, but no more exciting than drinking lukewarm tea.
When we break apart, River smiles and searches my face. “How was that?”
I force a smile. “Nice,” I lie.
Inside, I’m crushed. This was supposed to fix everything. This was supposed to be the moment I realized I could feel something for someone other than Micah. Instead, all I can think about is how different this felt from what I imagine it would be like to kiss Micah.
“Do you want to get something to eat? Other than doughnuts, I mean?” River chuckles as he slips his hand into mine.
“Yeah. I could eat.”
As we walk back to his rental car, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve made everything more complicated instead of simpler. The fountain’s legend was supposed to ensure we’d stay together forever. The kiss was supposed to be magical.
Some magic just isn’t meant for everyone, I guess.