Chapter 21
Micah Barrett
I stare down at the lyrics in my notebook, the words blurring together. I can’t concentrate on anything. Not since yesterday and the stupid kiss tutorial. The one that awakened things in me that I never thought possible.
What the heck?
Cricket and I are friends. That’s all. At least, that’s what I thought. Now I can’t get her out of my head, and I’m definitely not thinking about her in a friendly way. Too friendly is more like it. Why is my brain now obsessed with the way her lips felt against mine?
I haven’t spoken to her since the kiss. I saw her and River at church but ducked behind a door and didn’t greet them when they walked in.
I let Skyler tug me over to sit by her, and I rushed out afterward, not staying for doughnuts or socializing.
Not that I ever do, but I’m still embarrassed that I hid behind the bushes so they wouldn’t see me.
And now I’m sure she’s going to be out with River all day.
Why did River Stone, of all people, have to come to Willow Shade Island and chase after that stupid bird to get her glasses back?
He’s too nice. I can’t even hate him. He’s funny, smart, and I’ve only ever seen him act like a true gentleman.
I grab my pencil, my feelings overwhelming. The words start to flow onto the paper. Words about longing and love and regret—how I’ve been blind this whole time.
I keep writing, the song coming out of me faster than I have ever experienced.
The lyrics speaking to me not knowing what was right in front of me all along.
How stupid I’ve been, and all this time, Cricket was the one who stood by me.
Who’s still beside me, but it might be too late.
She might be slipping away. The verses, the chorus, and the bridge all come out in a whirlwind of words and feelings.
I title it “Right Here.” And now it’s time to find the melody. I grab my guitar, slinging the strap over my head. I start my recording equipment and strum to find the chords that fit the best.
The music pours out of me, like a tune I’ve had in my head all this time but didn’t know it. This song is different from my normal love songs. This one hits deeper for me. The words are haunting, about loving someone you can’t have. I turn to minor chords that better match the feeling.
Once it’s all written, I play it back again, singing the lyrics. It startles me how different it is from my regular music, almost like someone else wrote it. I freeze.
Atlantic Coast Records wants me to write more songs that are like the ones I usually write. What if they don’t like this one? What if they tell me it’s all wrong?
My phone vibrates, and I realize I’ve worked into the late afternoon. I pick it up to see a text from Kiki.
Are you coming to family dinner? Cricket is already here with River.
Pain stabs in my chest. Of course River is there with Cricket. I remove my guitar strap and set my instrument into its case. I’m starving, and I can’t avoid Cricket forever. I’d better go to family dinner. Hiding from her isn’t going to make these feelings go away.
I head upstairs and walk the two doors down. I find my house already filled with the warm sounds of a family gathering. Levi’s telling some story about the bakery, Skyler is giggling, and underneath it all, Cricket’s voice mixes with River’s. My stomach tightens at the sound.
“There he is,” Kiki says when I walk into the dining room. “We were wondering if you’d gotten lost in your music.”
“Kind of. Sorry,” I mumble. River is sitting in my usual seat beside Cricket, leaving me to walk around the table.
It’s weird to sit anywhere else, and I try not to scowl.
I slide into the empty chair across from Cricket.
Big mistake. Now I have a perfect view of her and River sitting side by side, River’s hand resting casually on the back of her chair. My chest constricts.
Cricket nods when she sees me, and for a second, my heart does this stupid flip thing.
She pushes her glasses up her nose, a gesture I’ve seen a thousand times, but now I find myself noticing the delicate line of her fingers and the way her lips look soft and inviting.
She’s wearing a pink sweater I’ve probably seen her in before, but it’s like I’m suddenly seeing her for the first time. My thoughts scatter.
“How’s the new song coming?” she asks.
“Fine,” I say, probably too quickly. I grab a dinner roll and start tearing it apart just to have something to do with my hands. I shove a too-large chunk into my mouth.
“River was telling us about his plans,” Tobias says, passing me the mashed potatoes. “He’s looking for a place on Willow Shade Island.”
I choke on my roll. “What?”
Tobias slaps me on the back. “Don’t inhale your food.”
River chuckles, and I hate how genuine and likeable he sounds.
“I didn’t get the part, but I fell in love with your island.
I love the slow pace here, so different compared to LA.
And I think this will be the perfect place to start working full-time on my filmmaking.
Plus the people here are… wonderful.” He turns to smile at Cricket.
There it is again. That twist in my gut. Am I imagining it, or is she shimmering with happiness? When did she start glowing like that? Does she really like River that much?
Levi sets his fork down. “We’ve booked our wedding in Vegas. It will be at the Sterling Rose Chapel on Saturday afternoon, and I’m bringing gluten-free éclairs instead of a cake.”
Kiki leans forward. “That sounds wonderful, Levi. I can’t wait for your wedding.”
I glance at Cricket. This wedding might be the perfect time to get some alone time with her. Maybe I can gather up my courage to talk to her without River by her side every second. The thought makes me happy.
Levi grins at Claire. “We’re keeping it simple. Just us, an Elvis impersonator, and maybe some slot machines.”
Claire gasps and slaps his arm. “We are not having Elvis at our wedding!”
Everyone laughs, but I’m distracted by the way River reaches over to squeeze Cricket’s hand during the conversation. It’s such a small gesture, so natural, like he’s already claimed his place beside her. Cricket doesn’t pull away. If anything, she seems to lean into him.
My chest feels uncomfortable, like someone’s wrapped bands around my ribcage and they’re slowly squeezing me tighter. This is what jealousy feels like, I realize. This crushing weight, like an elephant sitting on my chest. I’m insanely jealous of River. How did I not see it before?
“Your wedding sounds amazing,” River says. “I hope you all have fun.”
Levi turns to him. “You know what? Why don’t you come with us? I feel like you’re already part of the family, River.”
The bands grow even tighter, and I can’t breathe.
River waves a hand. “Oh, I couldn’t crash your wedding.”
“Are you kidding? The more the merrier.” Levi motions to him. “What do you say, man? Up for a spontaneous Vegas adventure?”
River looks at Cricket, and I watch this whole silent conversation happen between them in the space of a heartbeat. She gives him a smile, and he grins back.
“I think that sounds amazing,” River says.
Cricket looks like she’s so happy she could burst. “This will be so much fun.”
I stab my fork into my potatoes a little too hard, and the scraping sound against the plate makes everyone look at me. “Sorry,” I mutter. “Hand slipped.”
But as everyone starts talking about the trip, what they’ll wear and the fun things to do in Vegas, I can’t focus on anything except the way Cricket keeps touching River’s arm when she gets excited about something.
The way her hair catches the light from the chandelier when she tilts her head to laugh at his jokes.
The way she keeps unconsciously moving closer to him as the conversation goes on.
It hits me like a freight train. I’ve totally fallen for her.
I’m not just attracted to her, not just confused by our kiss. I’m completely, utterly, hopelessly in love with my best friend. And it took watching her fall for someone else to finally figure it out.
The realization sits in my stomach like a stone.
All this time, she’s been there. My best friend, my constant companion, the person I tell everything.
She’s been the background music of my life, so constant and comforting that I never thought to really listen.
Until now, when the melody is about to be taken away from me.
“Micah?” Cricket’s voice breaks through my spiral. “You okay? You look pale.”
Everyone at the table is staring at me now, and I realize I’ve been sitting here in silence, probably looking like I’ve seen a ghost. “I’m fine,” I lie. “Just tired.”
But Cricket knows me too well. She studies my face with those perceptive blue eyes of hers, the ones that always seem to see straight through me. For a moment, I’m terrified she’ll figure it out. That she’ll see the truth written all over my face.
Instead, she gives me a gentle smile. “Maybe you should get some rest after dinner. You’ve been working so hard on your music lately.”
The kindness in her voice, the way she still cares about my well-being even while she’s falling for someone else, is almost too much to bear.
“Yeah,” I manage. “Maybe I should.” I swallow back my feelings. I can’t be in love with Cricket. It’s too late for that.