DELANEY
“As we approach our destination, please make sure your seatbelt is fastened and your tray table is in the upright and locked position. Thank you for flying with us, and whether you’re headed home, here for work, or just in town for a little R&R, we hope you enjoy your stay in Nashville.”
As I look out over middle Tennessee, I consider the fact that Ridgecrest is somehow home, work, and a vacation all wrapped into one. And much sooner than I’d like, my semester-long contract will be over, and I’ll have to decide which category Ridgecrest will land in moving forward.
L.A. was a clusterfuck. Molly Jo was sweet and doe-eyed, like always, happy to be swept along with whatever our managers said to do. That girl is talented, but has the backbone of a jellyfish.
I guess she’s not too different from me.
Matty and Remi were constantly at each other’s throats, bickering over what our media strategy should be once my time at Ridgecrest is over.
Matty and his friends convinced me to go out with them, which was a predictably bad decision.
I drank too much, said stupid shit, some of which was caught on camera…
the cycle feels impossible to escape. Matty just laughed when I showed him the post being blasted around social media.
America’s Sweetheart Seen out Without her Teacher Boyfriend. Trouble in Paradise?
Matty hedged that at least the press was calling me America’s Sweetheart again, but that hardly felt like a consolation when my integrity was once more being called into question.
I unlock my phone, the first selfie Connor and I took shining back at me. His arm curved protectively around my shoulder, my hand tangled in his, our smiles bright and genuine. Looking at it now, nothing about it feels fake.
My stomach drops at the sight of an incoming text.
Dad: Making a fool of yourself again for all the gossip bloggers to see. What’s the play here, Delaney? I thought we were making progress.
Dad: Call me as soon as you land.
I toss back the final sip of wine I’ve been nursing the whole flight and shove my phone back in my bag.
What’s the play here?
Hell if I know. Up until now, it’s always been so easy: stay the course, do what’s expected, color inside the lines and not an inch outside. Miserable sure, but easy.
But that kind of steady obedience has lost its shine.
And now, in the aftermath of it all, I’m not sure what the next step is.
Somedays I want to disappear, to drop off the face of the earth, or at least out of the public eye.
But there’s still so much about my career I really do love: my fans, making new music, the magic that can only exist inside a full stadium screaming my songs back to me.
I’ve dedicated my whole life to this for a reason.
I can feel my phone buzzing again in my bag as we come in for a landing and, after the third vibration, my curiosity wins out.
I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face as a fourth text from Connor lights up my screen.
Connor: Don’t order a car.
Connor: I’m fifteen minutes away.
Connor: I’m tracking your flight.
Connor: Reply so I don’t feel like a crazy stalker.
As soon as the pilot gives the all clear, I dial Connor. “You didn’t have to drive all the way up here.”
A chuckle, deep and joyful, fills the speaker. “Delaney, it means I get two hours with you I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Really three, because let’s be real, the traffic over the mountain is always a bitch. I’m not missing out on any time with you if I can help it.”
I pause, letting the warmth of his selflessness wash over me. “No one has picked me up from the airport before. It’s always been drivers.”
Connor takes a beat, then replies, an unmistakable ache in his words. “Well, happy to be the first, Lanie Lou. See you in a few.”
My heart races like a schoolgirl with a crush as I gather my things and shuffle off the plane.
I try not to read too much into the feeling, try not to let him consume all of my thoughts.
It’s just Connor, I repeat to myself as I wait at the luggage carousel.
But one look at him leaning against his shitty old car and my heart is beating triple time.
He’s got a fresh fade, but a hint of a weekend beard that I love so much, and his simple grey T-shirt accentuates his toned chest.
But it’s the look in his eyes when he spots me in the crowd that does it. There’s so much kindness, adoration, and a little bit of desire there. In all my years in the spotlight, no one has looked at me quite like that.
If I wasn’t all in for him before, I am now.
Meeting me at the curb with a wide grin, Connor steals a kiss. “You look prepossessing.”
“You’re really gonna make me start carrying a dictionary around?”
“Context clues, Lanie.” He smirks at me as he loads my bags into the trunk. “Give it your best guess.”
“Well,” I grunt, “given the five hour flight, the overindulgence in L.A., and the general shit show that is my life, I’m gonna go with exhausted. Prepossessing means exhausted.”
He pauses at the passenger side door, holding it open for me. “It means dazzling, beautiful, alluring. ” His wide, easy smile is back, and brings with it a whole herd of butterflies in my stomach.
Of course it does.
“Connor Majors. You are such a flirt.” He laughs, a sound that I didn’t realize I’d been missing in the few days I was away.
The road back to Ridgecrest weaves over mountains and through rolling hills. The trees are putting on quite the show, with fall colors filling every window. It’s mesmerizing and I let myself be swept up in the simple beauty of the changing season.
Connor glances my way. “Whatcha thinking, Lanie?”
“Nothing, actually. There’s something about this drive that feels like a fresh start every time.”
“Hmm,” he hums thoughtfully. “I like that. A reset sounds wonderful.”
“I take it the conversation with your dad didn’t go well?”
He grunts, and I see the same heaviness that I carry mirrored in Connor. The same desire to change course but the same feeling of being powerless to do so.
“It was unproductive, as per usual. But that’s a problem for another time.” He gives my hand a squeeze, and I let the comfort of his touch wash over me.
My phone ringing cuts through the silence, and I know who it is without looking.
Knowing better than to ignore him, I answer the call. “Hi, dad.”
“It really is one step forward, three steps back with you, isn’t it? Why were you photographed out in L.A. with someone other than your boyfriend?”
His voice is full of its usual venom and I fight the urge to snap back in reply.
“Micheal and I have been friends for years. A whole group of us went out for drinks. It was nothing.” I keep my tone even, my eyes locked on Connor. There’s no way he hasn’t seen the pictures too.
“It’s time to get your head out of your ass and focus.
That trip to L.A. was supposed to help your reputation, not damage it more.
You need to crank up the good press, really lean into this thing with you and Majors.
Get him to take you to Gustoso or something.
Make it fancy. Fix this, or we can kiss our dreams goodbye once and for all. ”
The line goes dead, but I don’t miss the way he says our.
Connor lets out a low whistle. “He’s always been a piece of work, hasn’t he? So how can I help you? What do you want?”
I laugh, dry and humorless. “That’s the million dollar question isn’t it?” I look out the window, “Sorry about that… what my dad was implying. Micheal is a friend. And I’m not sure he’s into girls anyway.”
The car rolls to a stop as we hit the first traffic light that signals our return to Ridgecrest.
Connor turns in his seat, pulling my focus fully to him.
“Delaney, I’m not usually a jealous person.
But seeing those pictures? I’m not gonna lie, they made me jealous as hell.
And it’s not for lack of trust. It’s because I want it to be me.
In every picture, at every party, on every red carpet. I want it to be me.”
I fight back the tingling sensation in my eyes.
“I… I want it to be you, too.” The honesty has my palms sweating, the urge to duck and cover strong.
This feels too close to something I’ve been running from my whole life.
I quickly add, “But I don’t know what that looks like for us, long term.
Maybe we just see where things go?” Walls firmly back in place, I swallow back the emotion threatening to spill out.
The light turns green, and Connor switches his focus back to the road, but I don’t miss the look of hurt in his eyes.
“I’ll take whatever you’re ready to give, Lanie Lou.”
Another shipment of clothes arrived from my stylist while I was in L.A.
, but still, nothing seems right. I called in reinforcements early, and Caroline and I have spent the better part of the last hour trying on every combination of outfits possible.
Connor dutifully made reservations at the one fancy restaurant in town, an Italian spot that’s been here forever, Gustoso.
Flopping down on the bed next to Caroline, I let out a long sigh. “I need something that says respectable small town girl in love with her best friend, but also glam pop star who’s ready to get her career back on track. Is that too much to ask?”
Caroline raises an eyebrow, expertly honing in on the important piece of that run-on sentence. “Are you?”
My stomach flips. “Am I what?” I feign innocence.
Caroline sits up straighter. “Don’t play dumb with me. Are you in love with Connor?”
I start to answer, then snap my mouth tight, trapping all my honest thoughts before they spill out.
“Because he is. In love with you. Always has been. And it’s clear that this whole thing isn’t really fake.” Caroline shoots me another pointed look. “So maybe you don’t know where you stand, but he’s all in for you. This isn’t a game of make believe for him. This is his heart. Don’t break it.”
I blink back at her. With her arms crossed and brows knitted together in a scowl, Caroline looks venomous.