13. Thirteen
13
THIRTEEN
F eeling my baby kick changed me. I knew it the second it happened, and yet I was determined to convince myself that nothing was different. I mean, sure, some things were out of the ordinary. Once my daughter—I was having a daughter … just wow—arrived on the scene, my whole life would be about her. For now, though, I was grappling with a case of too much change being a bad thing.
That’s why I’d suggested a night out with my best friend. Zach and I had been hanging out as much as usual—basically when he wasn’t playing naughty games with my sister and trying to hide it—but we hadn’t had a true guys’ night out in months.
“Sports bar?” Zach asked when we met in front of the elevators. One good thing about all of us living in the hotel was that it took minimal effort to coordinate a meetup.
I nodded. “Yeah. I’m thinking the sports bar. It’s not as if I’m in the mood for dancing.”
“The last time you danced, you got a baby out of the deal,” he noted. “I can see why you wouldn’t want to risk that again.”
I scowled at him. “Do you have to keep getting in little jabs?”
“Yes. I’ve decided to be passive aggressive until the baby is born. When it gets here, I might ease up. It depends on if I feel you’re sleep deprived enough or not.”
“You’re a true joy,” I drawled.
He grinned, enjoying himself too much. Then he clapped a hand on my shoulder, telling me everything was fine. “I heard you went to the doctor with Ruby the other day. How did that go?”
“I thought it went great.”
He was instantly suspicious, and I didn’t blame him. “Why did you phrase it like that?”
“Your sister wanted to throttle me.”
“You didn’t hit on the doctor, did you?” Zach was appropriately appalled. “That’s not okay, man. Although … was she hot?”
Now it was my turn to make a face. “First off, her doctor is a man.”
“Really?”
I nodded. We smiled at the hostess as we arrived at the bar but didn’t wait for her to usher us to a table. There was a reserved table near the screens, one that was for hotel employees only, and that was our normal spot. The bartender lifted a finger when he saw us settle, his way of asking if we wanted our regular drink choices. I nodded and he set about filling glasses from the tap.
“I was as surprised as you,” I admitted as we got comfortable. “I mean … the dude is hot.”
“I didn’t realize that did it for you,” Zach said with a straight face.
“If I rolled that way, I would be all over the guy. He’s got dimples and everything. Your sister mentioned the dimples when we were driving back to the casino. I think she did it just to irritate me.”
I didn’t realize I’d fallen into a pouty pond of self-reflection until Zach cleared his throat. “Sorry,” I said automatically. “I was just thinking about those stupid dimples. They belong in a movie, not on the guy who uses a flashlight to look inside the mother of your child.”
Genuine horror flashed across Zach’s features. “He used a flashlight?”
I shook my head. “No, but he had a light.”
“Was he flirting with her?”
“Definitely. Ruby says no, but I recognize flirting. He seemed pretty happy when he heard we weren’t a couple.”
The server picked that moment to sidle over with our drinks. She was dressed in short shorts—they were just south of the law—and a low-cut top. The uniform in the bar left very little to the imagination. Technically, we weren’t allowed to discriminate based on appearance, and yet every server in the place looked as if she could’ve anchored her own nudie magazine spread.
“Thanks, Celeste.” I smiled at her and sipped my beer. “This hits the spot.”
“No problem, Rex.” Her voice was a low purr. “You know I’m always happy to be the one who serves you.” She put emphasis on the word “serves,” which suddenly made me uncomfortable. Before, when she flirted with me, I would’ve flirted back. I never dated anybody who worked for Stone Group—it was a rule I lived by—but flirting was fair game. This time, I wasn’t in the mood.
“We’ll probably want another round in fifteen minutes or so,” I said rather than acknowledge her offer.
It wasn’t unusual for the showgirls and servers in the building to try to seduce me. I had a good job, was in a position of power, and my friendship with Zach meant I was even higher up the food chain than some of the other department heads. I used to make a game of flirting with the help—flirting, never touching—but it seemed like a waste of time this evening. I had other things on my mind.
“What was that?” Zach asked when Celeste turned on her heel and headed for another table.
Confused, I fixed my full attention on him. “What was what?”
“She was putting herself out there for a little Rex action.” Zach sipped his beer. He wasn’t smiling. “Normally, you would be all ‘go ahead and serve me, wench.’ Then you would’ve given her your patented smile and wink—why do women like that?—and she would’ve shook her ass all the way to the bar.”
That was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard. “I would never use the word ‘wench’ when flirting. I mean … come on. I’d still be a virgin if I went that route.”
“And we both know you’re not a virgin. My sister definitely knows.”
I glared at him. “Why?”
He laughed. “You’re so easy to rile up these days.” He leaned back in the booth, resting his arm along the back of it. “I’m not trying to start something—I’m really not—but you seem different somehow.”
“That’s because I’m going to be a father. I’m more mature.”
“You magically got mature in six weeks? That seems like some sort of modern miracle.”
“I was always mature.”
“Right. That’s the word I always conjured when I thought about you. Mature.”
“Don’t give me grief. I’m serious about this.” And I was. Life seemed more serious. Seeing my baby on that ultrasound—even though it didn’t look like a human as much as a sea monkey—had changed things for me. “I want to be a good father, Zach.”
My best friend must have read the seriousness in my tone, because he sobered. “You’re going to be a good father, Rex. That’s one thing I never doubted about you. It’s just … you can still be a good father and flirt.”
“Meh.” I waved away the statement. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Have you even dated since you found out?”
“I didn’t do that much dating before I found out.”
“Good point. Let me rephrase. Have you hooked up with anybody since you found out?”
I shrugged, noncommittal. “I’ve been busy.”
“Doing what?”
Was he kidding me? “Do you have any idea how much work babies are? New parents average six hours of sleep a day when they have a newborn. That’s not six consecutive hours either. You get an hour here and there and you constantly walk around with vomit on your clothes.”
Genuine horror washed over Zach’s features. “Who told you that?”
“Ruby. She’s reading a book a day at this point. They’re getting more and more horrific. It used to be that she would highlight passages about how hungry the baby was going to be, or how often she would need to be changed. Now it’s stuff about cracked nipples and vomit. I think she’s going down a dark path.”
Zach didn’t immediately respond. Instead, he stared.
“I didn’t bring up her potentially cracked nipples on my own,” I assured him. “She made me read a whole chapter on that and then proceeded to force a discussion on my feelings regarding breastfeeding. I told her I didn’t have any strong feelings either way, and then she made me read her pro and con list regarding breastfeeding.”
Zach continued to stare.
“What? It’s not me. It’s your sister.”
“You said she,” he supplied out of the blue.
“Who said she?”
“You did. When referring to the baby, you said she.” He leaned forward. “Is there something I should know?”
“Oh.” I was caught off guard. “Um … we’re having a girl.” Just saying it had me cringing. “Ruby didn’t tell you?”
“No.” He shook his head, a huge smile spreading across his features. “She hasn’t mentioned it.”
“Do you think I wasn’t supposed to mention it?” I was legitimately frightened. When Ruby went on a rampage, she was a force to be reckoned with.
“Actually, that’s not something I can imagine her getting upset about.” He correctly read my terror. “She’ll be fine.”
“But what if she wanted to have one of those big gender reveal parties? What if I ruined it?” The horror was real. “Oh, she’s never going to forgive me. I stole her gender reveal moment, and the rest of the pregnancy is going to be mired in depression.”
It was impossible to ignore Zach’s eye roll. “Wow.” He shook his head. “Just wow. The more time you spend with Ruby, the more you act like her.”
Celeste picked that moment to return to the table. “You guys good?” She batted her eyelashes at me.
“We’re fine,” I replied, barely sparing her a glance. “We haven’t had more than a few sips yet.”
Celeste cocked her hip and smiled.
I smiled back, but it was one of bland disinterest.
She stared a beat longer, then took off, a small huff escaping.
“Dude, you’re crushing her spirit,” Zach intoned. “She’s going to think there’s something wrong with her.”
“There’s nothing wrong with her. I just don’t feel the need to flirt.”
“Because you’re no longer interested in women?”
“No.” That was the most absurd thing I’d ever heard. “I adore women. I just … I’m going to be a father.” I straightened. “I’m going to be a father to a little girl. That means I have to be a better man.”
“I don’t know. I kind of like the man you already are.”
“Yes, I’m a treasure,” I agreed. “I can be better, though. All men can.”
“Are you including me in that statement? Because I have it on good authority that I’m the perfect man.”
“If my sister is telling you that after sex—and why did you have to put that image into my head?—then she’s lying to you.”
“Nah. I’m perfect.” He grinned and took a long swig of his beer. “Why do you think you have to be a better man?” he asked as he lowered his cup to the table.
“Because women have to deal with a lot more than I ever realized. It’s not just the rampant sexism and misogyny. Women make up almost half of the workforce, but the gender pay gap has remained relatively flat for two decades.”
Zach blinked but didn’t say anything.
“There’s more.” I had a lot of stats at my fingertips. I’d been reading. A lot. “Women are forty-seven percent more likely to suffer severe injuries in a car accident. Do you know why?” I didn’t wait for him to respond. I just barreled forward. “Because the safety features on cars are designed for men.”
“Is that true?” He looked concerned. “Like … are you making that up?”
I vehemently shook my head. “I am not. On top of that, more than thirty thousand girls become child brides every day. That’s day, not year. Twelve million girls get married before the age of eighteen every year.”
“In the United States?” Zach looked appalled.
“I don’t have a breakdown of the countries, but I do know that it still happens here.”
“Is my sister feeding you these stats?”
I ignored him and kept going. “At the current rate of progress, it will take more than a century to close the gender gap … and there are some countries where it will never be closed.”
“You’re definitely getting this from Ruby. There’s no way you’re pulling these stats on your own.”
“It started with Ruby,” I acknowledged. “Once I started reading about it, though—I was determined to prove her wrong—I found out it’s true.” I leaned forward so he could hear me above the din. “For every female film character, there are 2.24 men.”
“Huh.” Zach cocked his head. “At first, I thought you were just being funny. Now I can see you’re being serious.”
“Oh, I’m being serious,” I agreed. “I am not allowing my daughter to be treated as a second-class citizen. Rexorita is going to be at the top of the food chain.”
Horror had Zach’s lips curving down. “Rexorita?”
“I think it has a nice ring to it.”
“There’s no way Ruby is letting you name the baby Rexorita. It’s not happening.”
“Ruby won’t even let me debate names at present,” I replied, allowing my disgruntlement to bubble up. “She says we each have to come up with a list of our top twenty names and not tell them to each other. Then we’re going to set a date, right around when she’s six months along, and start going through the lists. I get a say, but she has veto power because she says that pushing out my baby’s big head means she gets to make the ultimate choice.”
Zach pressed his lips together, obviously trying not to laugh.
“You don’t think my head is too big, do you?” I challenged. I immediately started feeling it. “She’s giving me a complex.”
“I think your head is fine,” he replied, reaching for his beer again. “It seems like you and Ruby are spending a lot of time together.”
“We meet three times a week and discuss one topic per meeting. She wants to give each decision the proper weight, so we can’t multitask.”
“I see.” Zach looked as if he was about to lose the battle when it came to laughing. “You sound just like her. You realize that, right?”
I shrugged. “I think she makes a lot of sense.”
“Of course you do.” He hesitated, seemingly waging an internal debate, then pushed forward. “Does Ruby have anything to do with your disinterest in flirting?”
It felt like a gotcha question, so I was carefully neutral when responding. “Of course not. We’re just friends.”
“Friends who are having a baby.”
“So?”
“It’s just … I’ve never known you to completely ignore the possibility of flirting. Even if you’re not interested, you flirt. It’s simply who you are.”
I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. So I don’t want to flirt. Why would that possibly matter? I have bigger things to think about than flirting.”
“You mean Ruby.”
“I mean my daughter.” Something occurred to me. “Don’t tell anybody it’s a girl just in case Ruby does have a gender reveal party planned. Also, act surprised when she tells you.”
“I’ve got it.” He bobbed his head. “I want to go back to talking about you not flirting.”
Irritation bubbled up and grabbed me by the throat. “Why is it such a big deal? It’s not as if I’m some untamed animal who has to flirt every second of every day.”
“No, but you used to flirt without putting any effort in. It just came naturally to you.”
“Well, I don’t need to flirt.” If he didn’t let this go, I was going to lose my temper. “I have a daughter to focus on. Flirting is for people who aren’t about to be fathers.”
“Uh-huh.” He drank some more of his beer. “Are you flirting with Ruby?” he asked once he’d swallowed.
“What is it with you and Ruby? Can’t I just want to focus on the important stuff and not have it be about your sister? I mean … yes, we’re having a baby together. Yes, she’s hot, and I care about her a great deal. We agreed to be friends, though. I don’t want to risk our relationship.”
“Maybe you wouldn’t be risking it. Maybe you would be building something great.”
I was taken aback. “Now you want me with your sister?”
“I didn’t say that,” he hedged. “It’s just … you’re not looking at anybody else. Something tells me Ruby isn’t either. Maybe you guys can make it work.”
“We would have to risk our friendship to do that. Do you know how hard it would be to raise a baby with Ruby if we didn’t like each other?”
“Yes. I also know how much easier it might be if you guys loved one another.”
“I do love her.” I wasn’t ashamed to say it. “I love her as a friend and the mother of my child. That’s how it’s going to stay.”
He didn’t look convinced but nodded all the same. “Okay. I just thought I would bring it up. I mean … everybody has seen the two of you together around the casino. People are starting to gossip.”
“That will die down when they see how well adjusted we are with our baby. What do you think of Henrirexia for a name?”
He made a face. “I think you should keep trying.”
“Yeah. Your sister said the same thing.”