21. Twenty-One
21
TWENTY-ONE
“N othing fits!”
I was a complaining mess when I emerged from my bedroom and threw an armful of clothes at Pearl, Opal, and Olivia. They’d invited themselves over to help me prepare for my date with Rex. A date I’d been determined was never going to happen.
Yet here I was melting down in fantastic fashion.
Opal picked up the filmy top that had hit her in the face and regarded it with dubious interest. “You were going to wear this?” It was a camisole top for under one of my suit jackets. “I guess that makes sense,” she mused. “You can’t get pregnant a second time.”
I narrowed my eyes until they were dangerous slits. “I hate you right now,” I muttered.
She smirked. “I can see why you would.” After tossing the camisole to the side, she sipped the wine Olivia had brought to take the edge off. Since I was the edgy one, it obviously wasn’t working.
“Take a breath,” Olivia suggested. She looked more amused than worried. “Everything is going to be okay.”
“How can you even say that? I’m going out on a date with your brother. Who thought that was a good idea?”
“You did when he had the Mardi Gras of flower arrangements and balloons delivered during snack time,” Pearl replied. She was in the kitchen staring at the flowers. “It’s weird because all these colors together should look ridiculous but it’s kind of pretty.”
“Right?” Opal bobbed her head in agreement. “It’s much prettier than it has any business being.”
“The balloons are a bit much.” Pearl tapped one of the heart balloons with her index finger. “It’s as if they’re trying to convey a message. I get the hearts and the stork—which is just kind of funny—but what’s the deal with the diamonds.” She didn’t wait for anybody to respond. “Ooh. Maybe he’s going to propose.”
I glared at her with the sort of disdain I reserved for my father. “Are you trying to kill me?”
She laughed at my discomfort, which only made things worse. “You’re wrapped so tight the burritos at the Mexican place downstairs are jealous. Olivia is right. Take a breath.”
“You take a breath,” I fired back. “How can you not understand why I’m upset? I don’t fit into any of my clothes.”
“Yes, well, whose fault is that?” Pearl’s gaze went to my stomach. “It’s actually kind of a date for three people,” she mused, her amused tone setting my teeth on edge. “Like … you, Rex, and your illegitimate baby are going out to dinner. It’s kind of cute.”
Who said “illegitimate” in regard to a baby these days? “You’re supposed to be helping me,” I barked. “You’re supposed to be calming me down. Do I look calm?”
“You look as if you’re about to pass out,” Olivia replied. She left her wine on the coffee table and crossed to me. “Let’s be calm, shall we?”
“Do not talk to me as if I’m two,” I gritted out.
She ignored the warning. “Is there a reason you haven’t purchased any maternity clothes?”
That felt like a trick question. “What’s the point? I’ll only be able to wear them once or twice before they become obsolete.”
“What about if you and Rex decide you want another baby? You still have time.”
“Actually, the doctor says my fertility will go out the window with each passing year. This is probably it for us.” Something horrible occurred to me. “What if he wants more than one kid?” I was appalled at where my brain had gone. “What am I saying? We’re not even going to make it to the third date.”
“That’s the ticket.” Opal bobbed her head. “Be a defeatist at the start. That won’t turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy or anything.”
I wanted to hurt her. “Either help or get out. I don’t know which one I prefer at present, so I will leave the choice up to you.”
Olivia shot my sisters a warning look. “You must have something you can wear.”
“Well, I don’t. Nothing fits. I’m a whale.”
“I think you’re adorable with your little tummy.” Olivia was all smiles as she touched my stomach. It took everything I had not to slap her hand away. She really was trying to help me. My sisters, however, were monsters.
“I’m not going.” I made up my mind on the spot and threw my hands into the air. “I’m calling Rex and canceling.”
“No, you are not.” Olivia took me by surprise with her vehemence. “You’re going.”
“Since when are you the boss of me?”
“Oh, don’t even.” Olivia let loose an exasperated sigh. “It’s obvious that you want to be with Rex. Otherwise, you would’ve shut him down weeks ago when he first broached the subject of dating.”
“Wait … he brought this up weeks ago?” Pearl looked intrigued. “Why are you just going out now if he broached the subject that long ago?”
“Because he’s not ready for a relationship,” I replied automatically. “He’s a manwhore.” I shot Olivia an apologetic look. She was loyal to her brother of course. She would probably take offense at the statement. “Sorry.”
She waved me off. “It’s fine. I’m not oblivious to my brother’s shortcomings. It’s just … he hasn’t been a manwhore since before you guys hooked up. He was already slowing down. Since that night, he hasn’t been with anybody. I don’t think you can legitimately call him a manwhore any longer.”
My heart skipped three beats. “He hasn’t been with anybody since that night with me?” I couldn’t help being dubious. “Um … that seems unlikely.”
“Unlikely or not, it’s true.”
“He told you that?”
She shook her head. “I heard him telling Zach when they were plotting his grand gesture to get you to go out with him. They’ve been talking about it for days. They thought I didn’t know, but their voices carry when they’re drinking beers and watching games.”
I had no idea what to make of that. My insides, oddly, smoothed over at the news. “He’s been putting in the work.” I was no longer shrill. “He’s been going out of his way to make sure I’m comfortable.”
“He loves you,” Olivia agreed.
My glare was a stark rebuke. “I think it’s a little soon for love.”
“Actually, it’s not, but okay.” Olivia held up her hands in supplication. “You guys have been spending all your time together for months. You might not think about it as romantic time, but you’ve been getting to know one another in an intimate way all the same.”
“She has a point,” Pearl mused. “You guys have been pretty much inseparable.”
“I don’t want him being with me just because of the baby.” Until I said it out loud, I didn’t realize what was fueling my fears. “I want him to want me.”
“Because you want him,” Olivia guessed.
I dipped my chin. I couldn’t meet her eyes. It was hard for me to admit that I’d been falling for Rex this whole time. I couldn’t even admit it to myself. “We’re in a very weird place,” was what I said instead. “We get along great. What if we ruin everything by trying to take it to the next level?”
“What if you get everything you’ve ever wanted?” Olivia challenged. “What if both of you get love and a baby?”
“I just … I’m afraid.”
“I get it.” Olivia turned solemn. “I was worried about telling your brother I had real feelings for him too. I’m glad I took the leap, though. I’ve never been happier. It can be the same way for you.”
“Or it could ruin everything.”
“What are you going to ruin?” Pearl challenged. “Rex isn’t the type to hold a grudge. If it doesn’t work, you guys will be fine. You’ll make sure of it. If it does work out, though…”
“Then you’ll live happily ever after,” Opal finished. “You’ll have beat our father at his own game on top of it. Why wouldn’t you possibly want that?”
She was right. Somewhere along the way, the idea of not trying became more terrifying than actually trying. “Fine. I have to find a dress, though. He’s taking me to the Eiffel Tower. I can’t wear leggings and a peasant blouse to the Eiffel Tower.”
Opal pulled out her phone. “I’ve got this. Just take a breath and work on your makeup. Leave the rest to us.”
REX SHOWED UP FIVE MINUTES EARLY. Thankfully, I was dressed and somewhat calmer than I had been. Opal came through with a dress. One of the local maternity stores delivered a simple black sheath that fit me perfectly and managed to be flattering. Olivia had helped me with a pair of thigh-highs but since my feet were still swollen, I’d opted for flats instead of heels. I’d pulled my hair back and went with minimal makeup, spending more time on my eyes than anything else. The pregnancy vitamins had given me the sort of glow I always coveted. I figured I might as well take advantage of it.
“Hey.” I felt awkward when I opened the door.
Rex, dressed in a nice suit with his hair perfectly in place, offered up a soft smile as he looked me over. “Hey.” His voice was husky. “You look really nice.”
I smoothed down the front of my dress. It was simple, which made it elegant. “Thank you. You look nice too.”
He nodded, a tempest flitting through his eyes. “Damn, Ruby, you look really good.” He stepped into the suite far enough to plant a kiss on my cheek. His smile was easygoing, but his eyes were curious as they roamed the living room. “Have you been drinking?” His tone wasn’t accusatory as much as curious.
“What?” I followed his gaze to the empty wine glasses. “Oh, no.” I shook my head and giggled. “I needed help getting ready. Your sister and my sisters swooped in.”
“And they helped by drinking? That doesn’t seem very nice since you can’t drink.”
“I know, right?” I shook my head. “They did help me get a dress that fits, so I can’t be too angry at them.”
“The dress is beautiful,” Rex agreed. “You’re even more beautiful, though.”
I thought my cheeks were going to catch fire. “Thank you.”
His gaze was seeking, as if he was looking for something specific. Then he straightened. “So, it’s cold out. It isn’t much of a walk, but I still don’t want you freezing. Do you have a coat?”
“Are you asking if I have a coat that will fit?” I teased.
“That hadn’t even occurred to me.”
“You don’t think of me as fat?” I was honestly curious.
His eyes narrowed. “No. You’d better not be thinking of yourself as fat either. I don’t like that.”
“I can’t help it.” I was rueful. “When you go into your closet and none of your clothes fit, it’s kind of like a slap upside the head.”
“Is that why you’re the way you are with snacks?”
I shrugged. “I’ve heard stories about women who put on a hundred pounds when they’re pregnant. At my age?—”
“Stop with the age thing.” Rex was firm. “You’re thirty-five. You’re still young. And, Ruby, you’re beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful. Don’t let your doubts get in the way of the truth.”
“I can’t help it. My body doesn’t feel like my own right now.” I shrugged. “I’m self-conscious and I don’t understand why anybody could look at me and see anything other than a fat woman.”
“Ruby…” Annoyance ran roughshod over Rex’s features. “You don’t see yourself as you really are. I guess I can understand why you don’t feel as if your body belongs to you right now. I get that part. You are sharing space with our little alien.”
I smirked.
“You’re beautiful, though,” he continued. “Everybody who sees you feels it. I wish you could feel it.”
“Me too.”
“Well, I’ll just have to keep telling you.” He dragged his gaze away from my face, although it looked as if it took effort. “Get your coat, then we’ll be on our way. They’re expecting us at seven-thirty.”
“I still can’t believe you got reservations at the Eiffel Tower.” It made me laugh. “There’s nothing more Vegas than that.”
“Just wait.” His tone was charming. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”
REX HADN’T JUST MADE RESERVATIONS AT the Eiffel Tower. He’d secured one of the best tables in the restaurant. We were up against the glass, a clear view of the Bellagio fountains. The way the table was set up, we were basically sitting next to one another rather than across from each other. It was weird, and yet comfortable all the same.
“Wow.” My breath clogged in my throat when the fountains began their inevitable illuminated dance. “You forget when you live here and see something all the time.”
“The fountains are one of my favorite things in the city too,” Rex agreed as he rubbed his hand over my back. One thing that he’d grown comfortable with over our time together was touching me. It had started with the foot rubs. Now I felt bereft when he went more than a few minutes without brushing his fingers over my cheek, or his hand over my back. Did he even realize what he did to me when he touched me that way?
“Can I start you with anything to drink?” the server asked as she approached our table. A single red rose was in front of me, so as not to ruin the view. She was a bubbly blonde with a wide smile, but I didn’t miss the way her gaze hungrily roamed Rex. He did cut a fine form in his suit.
He, however, barely glanced at her. “I’ll have a club soda,” he started.
I balked. “You can’t come to the Eiffel Tower and not get a drink. That’s against the law or something.”
He chuckled. “You’re not drinking.”
I rested my hand on my stomach. “That doesn’t mean you should be punished too.”
“I’m fine. I like club soda.” He was firm.
I stared at him, hard, for another two seconds, then let it go. “I’ll have a sparkling water,” I replied.
“No problem.” The server bobbed her head. “Would you like to start with an appetizer?”
My first inclination was to say no. When Rex nodded, however, I was thrown.
“We’ll have the grand seafood platter for two,” he said. “I can’t remember if there’s anything raw on it. We want it all cooked, though.” He gestured toward my stomach. “She cannot eat raw seafood.”
“Got it.” The server smiled before taking off.
“That’s quite the appetizer,” I noted. Nothing at the Eiffel Tower was cheap. The appetizer he’d picked was a hundred and forty bucks per person. “I guess you’re serious about this.”
“Did you think I wasn’t?” Rex was surprisingly relaxed.
“I don’t know.” He was open to conversation. I figured it was time to put all my fears out on the table, because Olivia was right. Maybe—just maybe—if we were open and honest with one another, everything would work out. “I guess I’m just afraid.”
“I know.” He rubbed his hand over my back again. “I’m afraid too.”
“What are you afraid of?” I honestly wanted to know.
“I already love our baby, Ruby. I know you were uncertain how I would be when you first told me—I was such a disappointment—but I was always going to love our baby.” His eyes were clear when they locked with mine. “I want to give Rexanne the best life I can possibly give her.”
I scowled. “Why won’t you let that name go?”
His lips quirked as he continued. “For a long time, I was afraid I would screw things up if I followed my feelings. I didn’t want to do that. The thing is, I believe we’re adult enough to do the right thing for our kid even if this doesn’t work out between us.”
“I believe that too.” I meant it.
“I’m sick of denying what I feel for you, though,” he continued. “I want a chance to win the big prize.”
“You mean a family,” I guessed.
He shook his head. “Well, yes,” he amended. “A family is a big prize. I was talking about you, though. I want a chance to be able to have you forever.”
I thought my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. “If we’re going to do this, we have to try to do it right. I know we’ve already slept together…” I gestured toward my belly. “But maybe we shouldn’t jump right into bed this time.”
I expected him to argue. He was already nodding before I finished, however. “I was thinking that too. Let’s take our time and do this right.”
“What will that even look like?”
He grinned. “Well, for tonight that’s going to look like the tenderloin filet for you and the New York strip for me. I’m thinking, even if you’re not still hungry, we’ll get some macarons to take home and maybe some of that hazelnut cake. Then I’ll take you back to your suite like a gentleman.”
“But … what happens tomorrow?”
“Well, we can’t do everything like a normal couple,” he acknowledged. “We’re having a baby. There are things that need to be done, including doctors’ appointments. That doesn’t mean we can’t do whatever feels natural. I figured we would just play it by ear.”
“And when the workers at the casino start teasing us?”
“They’ve been teasing me for months. I don’t care. I want what I want.”
I ran my tongue over my lips. He was so matter of fact, so sure of himself, I wanted to bask in some of that bravado for a bit. “And the only rule is that we’re honest with one another about what we’re feeling at any given moment. I think that’s a must for us.”
“I’m on board with that.” He grinned. “Is that your only rule? No sex and complete and total honesty?”
“Oh, not complete and total honesty.” I shook my head, then grinned at his confusion. “You have to lie to me when I ask how I look. My ego is kind of shredded these days.”
His hand landed on top of mine. “No, I don’t, Ruby. You’re beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful. That hasn’t changed.”
“I don’t feel beautiful.”
“Well, we’ll see how you feel at the end of the date. Maybe I can change that.”
If anybody could, it was him.