Chapter 23
After a very late breakfast, we’re spending Sunday afternoon at the Untermyer Gardens in Yonkers, a forty-six-acre former estate that is now a public garden. William says it is like walking in a living piece of art.
I had suggested that William search Edmund’s apartment because Annabelle texted that she and Edmund were having brunch with Mom and John, if I wanted to join (that was a “no”). William reminded me of my earlier “rational” decision not to search Edmund’s apartment in case that tips him off. After all, we’re meeting Miju and Lena on Thursday night, and we should follow Takashi’s suggestion to look unaffected. If Edmund or Vinnie is following me, our doing fun activities will support that illusion.
We start at the Vista, which is a long, stone series of stairs flanked by Japanese cedars and forest grass ending with a majestic view of the Hudson. At the base is the Overlook, across from which we can see the New Jersey Palisades—rocky cliffs dotted with green trees, the brown and green reflected in the Hudson waters. We walk around the Walled Garden. William asks another couple to take a picture of us in front of the hydrangea. At the reflecting pool, koi and goldfish dart between water lilies. My phone beeps.
I show the text to William, and we both agree we should go before we meet Miju and Lena.
We clamber around the Rock and Stream Garden. Finally, we climb up the rock pathway to the Temple of Love and sit on a bench made for lovers. The waterfall pitter-patters below, and two bluebirds chirp to one another.
I rest my head on his shoulder. He puts his arm around me.
“I can’t believe I never even knew this existed,” I say.
“It’s amazing how many people have never heard of it.”
“I really like you,” I say.
William’s shoulders stiffen beneath my head. He squeezes my shoulder, but he doesn’t say anything.
The bird chirps again. A bee buzzes near us. Below, the Hudson meanders. The air is heavy with the scent of lilacs and other spring flowers.
Maybe he’s not ready to tell me in words how he feels about me yet. Maybe it was too soon for me to tell him.
He turns to face me. “How do you know?” His gaze is assessing.
“I feel happy when I’m with you,” I say.
“Is that it?” he asks. He sounds almost bitter.
“I feel loved. What do you feel when you’re with me?”
There’s a long pause. He shouldn’t have to think this hard.
“I feel happy too,” he says slowly.
“I’ll take that.” Another couple wanders up and they stand, embracing, looking over at the view. “And I’m sure sometimes you feel frustrated too.”
He snorts. “Yes.” He tilts my chin up to look directly at him. “I like you too. I like that you’re so open about your emotions.” He pulls me up from the bench. “Let’s head home.”
We clamber down the stone steps and then walk along a paved pathway.
“Was Itsuki the one who got engaged after you broke up?” I ask softly.
“Yes.” He stares straight ahead.
He shakes his head. I stay silent to encourage him to say more.
“I was about to propose. And then she got engaged within six months of our breakup. It was almost as if he was such a radical improvement from me that she didn’t want to risk losing him. And I’m still not sure why she didn’t think we worked when I thought we did.”
I don’t know what to say.
“I guess I don’t always trust that my feelings are accurate,” he says. “Even Juri. I didn’t want to live permanently in Japan, but I was torn because I liked her. But now I realize we wouldn’t have worked out.”
“I thought you broke up with her,” I say.
“It was more mutual, but I didn’t want to lead her on, given that I didn’t want to move to Japan permanently,” he says. “Who were you discussing Juri with?”
“I have my sources,” I say.
“Your sources are pretty obvious.”
“When Uncle Tony was warning me away from you, he may have revealed some details. But it was with the best of intentions.” I squeeze his hand. “Still, I like you, so I’m glad they didn’t realize what a mistake they made.” I stop and hug him.
“Okay, okay.” His lip curves up slightly, and then his hands grip my shoulders as he looks down at me. “A year ago, at that party where you screamed at Rex, I mentioned it to Uncle Takashi, and he said you always return to Rex. I’m worried your feelings may change.”
I stare at him. “I’m much happier with you than I was with Rex. I’m not returning to Rex this time.”
He pulls me back against him and hugs me tightly. I rest against his chest. His heartbeat pounds. Another hurdle cleared.
“Can I have a piggyback ride now?” I ask.
“Didn’t my carrying you around for a day satisfy that requirement?”
I pout. “No piggyback ride?”
“Maybe you should give me a piggyback ride.”
“I will when I’m sure my ankle is completely healed.”
He pulls me closer suddenly and kisses me firmly. “Thank you.”
We walk back, hand in hand, toward the exit.