Chapter 24
Chapter
Twenty-Four
Jax
“There are not a lot of ways I can imagine a happy life without you in it.”
I stared at Preston, stunned. Running away from real connection had been my way of life for so long. Keeping things superficial with coworkers or temporary roommates. Losing my parents and then losing Grandma, being left on my own. Those losses created a hurt I never wanted to feel again. While it hurt to think of losing Preston now, the thought of him deciding I was no longer worth the sacrifice, worth the effort, would break me to a point I might never recover from.
“You’re just saying that. It’s only been twelve hours. We’re not even sure what the fallout from the article will be. I’m sure in a few days...”
Preston crossed the room, gripping my arms in his hands. He held on tightly for a second, like he needed to be sure I was real and standing here. He loosened his grip, making sure I knew I could step away in an instant if I needed to. I could sense the effort it took to stop himself from touching me earlier and felt something ease inside me at his touch.
“We can’t know what the future holds. And I understand that’s terrifying. We both know that the people we love can be taken from us in an instant. I’m sorry you’ll never meet my mom, and I’ll never meet your parents or grandma. But the way you care about me...”
I opened my mouth to protest. He silenced me, putting a finger on my lips.
“I know you care a whole lot, Jax. You wouldn’t have run if you didn’t. But I’m certain they wouldn’t have wanted you to close yourself off from caring about and being cared for by others, just because of a fear you could lose them. We have a chance to chase our dreams. Have a happy-ever-after, like the ones you write in your books. I’d love for us to do it together.”
My face drew down in confusion. “I mean, I know the senator said I could keep my job, but I’m not really sure that’s my dream. Though it’s been lovely working there.” I got that last part out in a rush.
Preston chuckled. “Have you looked online at all since the story broke this morning?”
I shook my head. “I stuffed my phone between the couch cushions to stop myself from doom scrolling. I can handle the things they’ve said about me. I’ve been navigating my bad reviews for years. It was negative things about you I wanted to avoid.”
The smile that took over his face told me he saw to the heart of me. That he had crawled in through the cracks and crevices in the walls I built to keep people out. He filled those weak spots with care and kindness to help keep me protected, at the same time unlocking the door to allow those with the password to filter in and out freely. “I think you should go grab your phone. And check your Amazon author dashboard.”
I looked at him skeptically, but went over to the couch and retrieved my phone, anyway. Messages and notifications filled the screen, but I ignored those and navigated to the browser I kept open on my sales ranks. My eyes widened as I took in the high rankings for many of my titles. Hands shaking, I looked at the sales info page. My eyes filled with tears for the second time this morning when I saw the order number on the page, climbing with each refresh. How was this possible?
My eyes met Preston’s, holding so many questions. He beamed at me. “I have a sneaking suspicion, that will probably never be confirmed, that the senator is rooting for us. Who knew he was such a sap behind that asshole facade?”
“They usually are. Obviously, you need to read more of my books,” I murmured, taking a glance at my inbox. Messages requesting interviews, offering services, and representation filled the screen. This would take days to sort through.
“I . . . I don’t know what to say.”
“This is a perfect example of how, with the right spin, some scenarios that seemed so dire in one light can look completely different in another.”
My phone vibrated in my hand, and I looked down to see Laurel’s name appear on the screen. I opened her message.
Laurel
Since both you and Brandt decided to not show for work today, it fell to me to write a statement for the senator to put out around this bullshit romance author hullabaloo.
I think I might have a future in it. Maybe I’ll apply for the vacancy when you quit to chase this author career of yours full time.
From the office of Senator Mitchell Marsden: While this office does not comment on the personal lives of its staff members, it does comment when the patriarchy is being upheld to unreasonable standards. When someone chooses to write, in their free time, about the consensual owning by fictional characters of their sexuality, they take back the power of those who identify with those characters little by little. This office is appalled that a member of the press would engage in a smear campaign about the alleged activities of a staff member in their personal life, and suggests that outlet get a life and engage in some real reporting for a change.
I laughed wetly, showing Preston the screen.
“She’s not wrong. She does have the senator’s voice down pat. Maybe I should stop trying to censor him so much,” he mused.
“I know he said I’d have a place on his staff for as long as I wanted it, but I have to admit, I didn’t believe it. I’ve been kicked out on my ass for far less.”
“He’s a man of his word. And also, he wasn’t kidding about gunning for that romance reader vote. He’ll take gaining any population he can get.”
I laughed again before sighing.
“Well, I guess I have a decision to make,” I said, tapping the back of my phone as I glanced around the room before my eyes landed on Preston’s.
“Not that I am trying to influence your decision, but I think you should go public.”
I waved my hand. “Oh yeah, that’s definitely going to happen. I should probably hire a publicist with my new royalty spike to help, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”
“What decision then?”
My phone rang before I could answer him, with Michelle calling this time.
“Hi, Michelle.”
“Hey, Jax. Just got finished with prepping everything for tomorrow. How are you holding up? Preston find his way there yet?”
“He’s actually standing here right now,” I said. Had everyone expected he would come chasing after me? I was the only one too scared to trust in what we had?
“Figured. Well, I’m on my way back now, just need to stop at the drugstore to grab something really quick. So you know, if you’re going to have sex on my couch, make it a quickie.”
“We are not going to have sex on your couch, Mich.” Preston’s eyes widened and then looked at me with interest. I smacked him gently on the arm.
“Whatever you say. You’re welcome to stay with me as long as you need, but make sure he knows that my moving your boxes was a onetime thing. He’s got to get you out of there without my help.”
I laughed, fully believing she would sit on the couch and watch us carrying things before lifting another finger.
“I’ll be sure he knows. See you soon.”
“Toodles.”
He looked at me quizzically.
“Michelle says you’re responsible for getting my boxes back out of here. She maxes out at one move.”
“Does that mean...” He tried to keep his face neutral, but I detected the hopefulness in his voice.
“I think it’s time for me to be brave and not so afraid of the future and what it might bring. I might not be great at it. I might still have moments of doubt and panic. But I’d like that future to be spent with you, for as long as you’ll have me.”
“That’s great. But you robbed me of a chance to use my line.” He actually crossed his arms and pouted. It was adorable.
“Go ahead.” I interlocked my hands in front of me, waiting.
“Jax, will you marry me? Because I’d like to date you.”
I burst out in laughter. “Did you just quote The Proposal at me?”
“I’ve fallen asleep to that movie at least once a week for the past two months, so yes. And besides, who wouldn’t want to be Ryan Reynolds, even if just for a moment?”
“You’re a nerd, Brandt.”
“And you wouldn’t have me any other way.” He closed the gap between us, pulling me into his arms and bending down to put his lips on mine. After a moment, he pulled back, saying, “So, about that couch sex...”
I pushed him away. “Definitely not. There’s no chance one of your brothers has a truck or something, right? I’m going to tank my profile rating using ride shares to cart my stuff all over the city.”
“I bet Duncan has someone who can help us out. I’ll give him a call.”
Preston did that while I gathered the few things I had unpacked since yesterday’s mad dash. I felt a little sheepish about the whole thing, but I think in some ways I needed Preston to come after me. That sounded dramatic and a bit self-centered, but after having to fight for myself for so long, having someone else fight to keep me might have been necessary.
“He’s going to have someone here within the hour,” Preston reported as I grabbed toiletries from the bathroom.
“Oh, that’s great. Let him know I owe him one.”
“He already knows. He says he has us signed up for volunteer events from now until forever.”
I laughed. “I can think of worse things. At least we’ll be together.”
Preston’s smile was as close to the definition of “from ear to ear” as I’d ever seen in real life.
“So let’s go be together on the couch while we wait for Duncan’s ride?” Preston waggled his eyebrows, somehow moving them independently of each other.
“Fine, but only hand stuff. No one wants someone else’s naked ass on their couch,” I said, trying to sound exasperated, but eager to get my hands on Preston too. Emotional declarations of affection were growing more comfortable for me, but that didn’t mean I wanted to stop the physical ones anytime soon. Not having to wait until we got back home wasn’t the worst idea in the world.
Home. That word again. As Preston pulled me down to his lap, feeling the safety in his arms around me, I knew I found my home in him.