Chapter 9
Chapter
Nine
Hunter
Yes, still ten weeks pregnant
I ’ve had nightmares of that sentence being spoken at various times over the umpteen years since I lost my virginity. This though, this doesn’t feel like a nightmare. More like a confusing, underwater, slow-motion movie.
“You’re pregnant,” I repeat.
Michelle nods, chewing on her lip again. I still would like to do that for her, but this might not be the time. Hell, depending on her answer to my next question, there might never be a time again.
“And you’re telling me because you want to let me know you’re seeing the father?”
“Well, I am seeing the father. I’m seeing him right now.”
I laugh and rub a hand down my face. “You’ve got jokes, don’t you?”
She winces. “I’m sorry. I’ve had a bit more time to adjust to this than you have. A few weeks actually. ”
“A few weeks. So, forgive me. Since you’re telling me, that has to mean ...”
“It’s yours. There’s no one else it could be.”
“Got it. Sorry to insinuate?—”
She puts her hands on top of mine, which is the first time I realize they’re shaking. Shit, I’m not handling this well.
“It’s okay. We don’t know each other very well. It’s a reasonable question to ask. I’m happy to bring in character witnesses, or a paternity test when it’s available. Whatever you’d like.”
I turn my hand over to grasp hers. “I believe you. I believed you when you said in March you didn’t do that kind of thing often. And I believe you tonight. But thank you for offering. It means a lot.”
The waitress comes by with our check and some boxes. I say thank you and turn to Michelle, her eyebrows raised high like mine.
“Damn, they’re good at reading vibes here. Do you think they get this a lot? Because I sure as shit can’t eat any more,” she says.
I look down at the sandwich, remembering the rich flavors as they exploded on my tongue, dulled now with the news changing my world view.
“I don’t think I can either. Wait! Are you feeling okay? How have things been? Wait. How. How is a great question. Those condoms were brand new.”
Michelle shrugged and laughed. “You have strong swimmers that won’t be contained? I’m not sure. I wasn’t on any other birth control at the time, but my period hadn’t been regular in a couple of months with stress from the move and the new job. And I’m feeling okay. Today brought some new queasy moments, but I’m not sure if that’s the nerves of telling you or if I’m starting to experience some morning sickness.”
“Is it because I crumpled them into my pocket?” I mutter to myself, her words clicking and I want to smack myself for thinking only about me. “I’m really glad you’ve been feeling okay so far. Have you been to the doctor? I know absolutely nothing about babies and the female body once we get beyond, well, you know, how we ended up here.”
“I looked it up. Even if used perfectly, condoms are only effective ninety-eight percent of the time. Too bad we didn’t play the lottery, huh? And uh, you do know your way around a body,” Michelle says, her cheeks turning red like she can’t believe she said that out loud. Her lack of filter is actually adorable. I’m sure once the shock wears off, I’ll forever appreciate I learned I’m going to be a dad by the future mother of my child making a MILF joke. Mother of my child. Dad. Holy. Fuck.
I notice Michelle’s hand isn’t in mine anymore. She reaches for her purse on the booth seat next to her for something.
“No, no. I’ve got this. I asked you to meet up.” I hurry and pull my credit card out of my wallet and set it in the folder with the receipt. Michelle brings her hands even with the top of the table with a white 3x5 piece of paper in her hand.
“I don’t think this is going to pay the bill, though I’m happy to split it ...” The waitress takes the folder off the table right as she says that causing us both to laugh.
“Like you said, they read the vibes.” I wait for her to show me what’s in her hand. I’ve seen enough movies and TV; I have a guess.
“Before I give you this, I should let you know. I’m planning on keeping the baby. I considered all my options, and that’s the right path for me, assuming everything stays healthy. There are no expectations on you. I think I would have tried to track you down somehow in a few more weeks anyway, but there you were last night. And, no matter what comes next, I’m . . . I’m glad you were on that rooftop.”
I really wish her hands were somewhere I could grab them. How hard it’s been for her to face this all on her own over the past few weeks radiates off her in waves. To think, we were both thinking of each other, however far apart, neither of us knowing we are connected, not only by this baby, but by our family and friends.
“Thank you for telling me. It’s, of course, your choice, and I’ll support you all the way. I’d love to be involved.” I stop there. My brain is spinning in the background, but I don’t want to lose myself in that yet. Stay here, now. I don’t want to miss this.
“Thank you. Anyway, I wasn’t sure if you’d want . . . I mean, here. It’s a sonogram photo from the last appointment. Baby is healthy. They gave me two copies. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with the second one. I guess it’s usually for the other parent. And now I’ve found the other parent. So, here.” She stops her rambling and thrusts the picture into my hand.
My eyes start to water as I look down at a pixelated blob. “It looks like a cloud from SNES Super Mario World,” I say, not able to take my eyes off the picture.
“I said the same thing. Well, I think it looks like a real cloud, you know, in the sky. But I keep calling them Cumulus.”
“Cumulus?” I ask, meeting her eyes, unsurprised to find them a little wet too.
She nods. “That’s the cloud type they look like. Occupational hazard.”
I realize I never got a chance to ask her what she does. It sounds like something with the weather, but I want to know more. I want to know everything.
“I’m going to go to the ladies’ room,” Michelle says, and I nod. My eyes drift down to the picture in my hand. That’s part of me. I made this thing. And I’m going to be sure I’m someone they can be proud of.
Michelle comes back to the table but doesn’t sit down. “I think I need to go home. I built up a lot of adrenaline today and I’m crashing hard.”
I jump out of the seat and wrap the blazer I borrowed from Hayden around her shoulders. Keeping up with their reputation, the waitress brings my card by right on cue. I pull three twenties out of my wallet and drop them on the table, thanking her for everything as I grab our boxes and steer Michelle out of the restaurant.
“Well, I’m this way,” she says once we are out on the sidewalk.
“Michelle—I mean this in the kindest way—but you are off your rocker if you think I’m not walking you home.”
“Oh. Okay,” she says, and she turns and starts walking. I follow alongside her, keeping my hands to myself. How do we act around each other now? Earlier today my thoughts consisted of sinking between her thighs with her feet on my shoulders. Now, well, I still want to do that, but I also want to rub her feet. Go out at two in the morning and get whatever weird thing she’s craving. I want to be a part of this. I just need to figure out how to get her to allow me in.
“Well, this is me,” Michelle says, and I realize we’ve walked three blocks without saying a word.
“Shit. I’m sorry, my head is all over the place ...”
“I understand. It’s a lot to take in. Like I said, I don’t expect you to do any?—”
I grab her arms, wanting to stop the sensation of her slipping through my fingers. I loosen my grip immediately, so she knows she can step away if she wants, but damn, it’s good to touch her.
“I want to be a part of this. With you. Let me ...” The final piece clicks into place. “Do you have to work on Monday?”
“I don’t have to do a forecast, no, but there’s a thing I might need to go in for in the afternoon.”
“Perfect. Can I take you to breakfast? Or better yet, can I bring groceries and cook you breakfast? There are a few things I need to work through.” Her expression falls, small enough I wouldn’t catch it if I’m not taking in every millimeter of her face. “Not about being a part of this. I’m one hundred percent sure. It’s . . . other things . . . I don’t want to get ahead of myself. But breakfast? Monday?”
“I have been dreaming of that scramble you made me ... ”
“Perfect. Then that’s what we’ll do. I’ll text you, but let’s say nine o’clock?”
Michelle nods. “Yeah. That works.”
“I’ll see you then. I’ll wait out here until you get inside. Let me know when you’re in your apartment with the door locked?” Michelle’s vibes are trending toward spooked-cat-ready-to-flee. I want to be sure she lets me in on Monday.
She nods again. We may have only spent hours together, but I already know nodding covers for when she’s too overwhelmed to speak. I wonder how to show her she can always speak her mind with me.
She walks up the few stairs to the outer door. Right as she steps through, ready to let the door close behind her, I lob my final shot, designed to get her out of her own head.
“Oh, and Michelle? I really hope that’s not the only thing about me you’ve been dreaming of.”
I think I hear a gasp, but she doesn’t turn around to let me see her face. Still, a smile creeps onto mine while I wait for my phone to buzz, letting me know she is safely inside.
Her text arrives seconds later. I drop a pin, so I don’t need to ask her for her address and open an app to request a ride share to Hayden’s place. I hope I’ll beat Hayden and Charlotte home. I need his help.
I spend the ride to Navy Yard making lists and writing down rambling thoughts. Trying to make sense of the jumble in my head. I manage to get back to the apartment first. On the couch with a glass of whiskey is where Charlotte and Hayden find me when they get home twenty minutes later.
“Hey Hunter, how was your night? We weren’t sure if you’d be home tonight or not.” Charlotte comes to sit on the couch next to me, smiling expectantly.
I paste on a fake smile. “Now, Charlotte. You know a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.” I love Charlotte. She’s perfect for my brother, and once I bring her into the know, she’ll be so helpful and supportive. But this is something I need to talk through with Hayden first.
“Hey, Char, why don’t you go ahead to bed? I’ll be there in a little bit,” Hayden says. Duncan teases him about only knowing my tells, but that’s because we have the same ones.
“Got it. Twin thing.” Charlotte stands up. “Night, guys.” She reaches up to lay a peck on Hayden’s lips and ruffles my hair as she walks past. He watches her walk down the hallway with a small smile before sitting in the seat she vacated.
“Do I need one of those?” He nods toward the glass of whiskey in my hand.
“Way ahead of you, bro.” I flip up the cushion between us, revealing a storage compartment where I stashed another glass and the bottle before I sat down.
“What? I didn’t know the couch had storage!” Hayden exclaims, leaning over to lift up the cushion on his other side. I nudge him in the shoulder to take the drink I pour for him. “Annnnd I’ll explore it another time. What’s up?”
“So. My date tonight.”
“Finally. It’s been driving me up a wall I don’t know anything about her.”
I laugh, taking another sip of the whiskey. “It’s Michelle.”
Hayden connects the dots. “Preston’s coworker’s cousin?”
“That’s the one.”
“So, you hit it off last night?”
“There’s a bit more to it than that. Remember when I came to visit in March? You may have never realized, but I didn’t come home one night. I snuck in before you and Char got up.”
“Wait, what? Where were you? I know we’re grown, man, but you need to tell someone where you are.” Hayden looks pissed. This won’t help.
“Well, Preston knew.” I put my arm up to block his hand. “I know, I know, but you were really drunk and excited to get back to your girlfriend. I wasn’t going to cockblock, nor did I want to have to listen to it. So, I found an alternative.”
“Okay, but what does that have to do with tonight?” I stare at him, blinking. “Oh, shit, you hooked up with Michelle back then? She moved here not long before, right?”
I nod. “Yeah. We didn’t exchange names or anything and promised it would be a one night thing. But I haven’t been able to get her out of my head since. So, when I saw her last night, I had to spend time with her again.”
“I know you don’t do many repeats, so this is a big deal. She must be special. Why the long face?”
“I’m going to need you to put your hand in front of your mouth, so if you get the urge to yell when I say the next part, you can bite on it and not scare the shit out of Charlotte, okay?”
“Okay ...” he says warily making a fist and holding it in front of his mouth.
“Michelle is pregnant.” Hayden gets out a quick yelp before biting down on his hand. “And to come full circle, yes. It’s my baby. I’m going to be a dad.”
Hayden starts to turn red.
“Hay, breathe. I didn’t tell you to hold your breath!”
He starts gasping for air, flexing his fingers and rubbing where the indents from his teeth were.
“You’re not shitting me. This isn’t a joke?”
“With how much trouble some people have getting pregnant? Pregnancy should never be a punchline,” I say, thinking about stories I overheard from some of the women in my cooking classes.
“Okay, so what are you going to do?” Hayden swigs the rest of the whiskey. He goes to pour another glass, but I stop his hand.
“First, no more drinks tonight. Second, I need you to promise to keep this between us. Only until Monday. If Charlotte gives you a problem when she finds out, let me know. I’ll tell her I asked you to. ”
“Charlotte’s the best. She’ll understand without us having to explain. Besides, it’s only twenty-four hours. So done and done. What else do you need?”
“Here’s what I have in mind ...”
T he next day, we do the citywide scavenger hunt Margaret bought for us to do together this weekend. We create a shared album, and it seems like she and Dad spend all day waiting for the next update, commenting and teasing us as soon as we post a new photo. It’s a fun day, regardless if Hayden and I are dragging from being up until 3:00 a.m. working on my plan.
Everyone’s set to go their separate ways when I pull Duncan aside.
“Hey Dunc, I need to ask you something. Well, two things.”
“Anything. What’s up?”
“First, I need to change my plane ticket to the latest flight out tomorrow. I’ll pay for the difference if you let me know how much it is.”
He waves his hand. “No, you won’t. I’ll get my assistant on it. What’s number two?”
“Can you bump whatever godforsaken thing you’ve scheduled at 6:00 a.m. on a Monday holiday so we can get coffee? Or we can meet at your office. Wherever you would go to hear a business pitch on a holiday.”
Duncan smiles broadly and grabs my shoulder. “I know the perfect place. I’ll text you the details.”
“You will, not your assistant?” Maybe I shouldn’t bite the hand I’m hoping will help me, but he is my big brother.
“I know how to send my brother some details, smartass. I look forward to seeing whatever you’ve put together.”
I turn around to find Preston, Jax, Charlotte, and Hayden waiting for me. “I’m going to go stay at Jax’s,” Charlotte announces. “Prez has to catch a last-minute flight out to meet the senator at whatever parade he’s participating in tomorrow, so I’ll be out of your hair. Don’t stay up too late with whatever you’re plotting. Okay, boys?”
Hayden and I exchange glances, and I catch Preston and Jax doing the same out of the corner of my eye. I think back to Jax’s reaction on the rooftop deck Friday night. It’s very possible she and Preston may have been playing dumb all day. The one time Hayden keeps a secret, and half the players involved already know.
We say our goodbyes and the three of them head off toward Capitol Hill for Preston and Jax’s place. “All right.” Hayden claps me on the shoulder. “We’re going to need coffee, we’re going to need pizza, we’re going to need Pepto, and we’re going to need ice cream.”
“You know, taking away a few of those things would remove the need for the third.”
“Wow, man. Fatherhood’s really changed you.” We look at each other for a second before we both bust up laughing. I throw my arm around Hayden’s shoulders and set off for the Metro to head to Navy Yard. For the first time in my life, I have faith things are going to go my way. Let’s hope Michelle sees things the same way I do.