Epistolary Interlude #2
brANDT brOTHERS GROUP CHAT
Preston
All ready for your cruise, Hunt?
Hayden
I can’t believe you booked a cruise and didn’t tell any of us in time to come too.
Duncan
You’re still pouting about this, Hayden? It’s their baby moon. They don’t need anyone else hovering around.
Even his twin.
Hayden
Even his twin?
Well, fuck. I am predictable.
Hunter
Sorry, Hay. Well, I’m not sorry. Dunc’s right. It’d be weird for you to come. But I am sorry you’re upset.
Duncan
He’ll get over it.
Spencer
So, got everything you need? Sunblock? Sea sickness meds? Condoms?
Hayden
The fuck he need condoms for? She’s not a European brown hare. She can’t get pregnant twice.
Preston
That’s a thing?
Spencer
See ya out of that rabbit hole in five minutes, Prez. I know he doesn’t need them for that. But. You know. It’s good to be safe. Just because two of you are wifed up ...
Hunter
First, I get the safe sex talk, but second, fuck off. That’s my girlfriend.
Spencer
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Duncan
Girlfriend?
Preston
That many buzzes in a row pulled me out of a Wiki-hole. When did that happen?
Hayden
Two weeks ago when he told her about the cruise.
Hunter
Thanks, Hay. And sorry, Spence. I shouldn’t have snapped. Really stressed with everything that needs to happen before we leave. I’ll be lucky if I have more than ten minutes to pack.
Spencer
All good. Monogamy changes everything. Plus, leaves more space in the luggage for your speedo.
Hayden
No one needs to see those blinding white thighs.
Duncan
That’s the part of the Speedo visual that concerns you?
Hayden
We’re twins. I pretty much know what’s coming.
Preston
And with that, I’m out. Have a great trip, Hunt.
Spencer
Be sure you pay respect to the sea on the way out. She’s unforgiving.
Hayden
Creepy, Spence.
Duncan
Call if you need anything.
Hunter
We’ll be on a floating hotel without signal and we’re not getting Wi-Fi. Talk to you all next week.
JAX, MICHELLE, LAUREL, AND CHARLOTTE
Laurel
All right. Pre-cruise checklist. All packed?
Michelle
I’ve got muumuus and swimsuits for days. We’re all set.
Laurel
What about a dress for a nice dinner?
Michelle
Oh, did you want a complete inventory of everything I packed?
Jax
Ignore whatever is about to come out of Laurel’s fingers.
Laure l
It couldn’t hurt.
Charlotte
I think you guys are going to have a great time. Hayden’s guilt trips aren’t working on Hunter, right?
Michelle
He keeps telling me he’s excited we’re getting the chance to go away, just the two of us. I think he’s telling himself that to stave off the guilt.
Charlotte
Twins.
Laurel
Well, you’ll distract him with sex then, right? I mean, you sleep in the same bed now, you’ve got labels ...
Jax
Normally, I don’t condone her invasive nature, but I am curious about this one.
Charlotte
If you want to share.
Laurel
She wants to.
Michelle
I don’t know that I want to, but I think I need advice.
Laurel
Yes!
Jax
Here we go.
Michelle
No. No sex yet. I’m not sure why? I’ve sorta got this idea in my head about it being special to wait until the cruise. But now I’ve built it up and am freaking out.
Jax
It was crazy hot in the spring, right?
Michelle
Yeah? I mean, I think so. Have I built it up in my head?
Laurel
No, definitely not. You were way too mopey, even before the pregnancy test, for it to not have been really fucking hot.
Michelle
I guess so . . .
Laurel
Any thoughts, ladies? Does it run in the family?
Jax
And I officially withdraw my support. You made it weird.
Laurel
Charlotte
Maybe try to remove expectations. If you guys had fun before, it’ll be even better because you know each other now.
Jax
And have feelings. Ugh, feelings. They do make it better.
Laurel
Plus, ya know, pregnancy hormones.
Michelle
All right, that’s enough outta you.
Love you, ladies. Talk to you when we get back.
Jax
Have fun!
Charlotte
Be safe!
Laurel
Get some!