5. Erik #2
He studied her pretty, loopy handwriting, feeling a tug on his heart.
He remembered sitting in the library together, him working on his finance degree, Jenny writing out endless notes for her teaching courses.
The sound of her pen sliding across the paper was almost mesmerizing as the soft curves and loops slowly covered the page.
Back then, the university had stretched its budget in many ways, including turning the library’s heat down in the evenings.
Erik would always be sure to bring an extra hoodie or flannel to share.
He loved seeing her gratefully snuggling into his clothing, leaving the lightest scent of her apple shampoo behind to drive him crazy the next time he wore them.
“We weren’t sure how far we are from Amish country,” she said, pointing to a line item that said Amish country, shoofly pie.
“We’re not far at all,” Erik told her. “But I think the most fun activity the day after Christmas would actually be to stop by Cassidy Farm. That’s a local spot with all kinds of fun things to do, and it’s open to tourists.
Most people come before Christmas, so it won’t be too busy tomorrow.
And they’ll still have the Christmas displays up.
Gael will love it. We can do Amish country later in the week. ”
“We?” Jenny asked, a smile on her lips.
“If you two want company, that is,” he said. “I’d love to show you around, and you’ve got a fun list there. But no pressure. I know you might just want family bonding time.”
“Having you along would be great,” she told him, her eyes sparkling. “Thank you.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” he said honestly. “Besides, I can’t have my fiancée wandering all over Tarker County without me.”
She laughed, and the gentle sound lit up his soul. It was like the past and present had come together in some wonderful way, and he found himself thinking about the future.
How can this be wrong, when it feels like home?
But it wasn’t home, not for Jenny and Gael. The holidays would end, and then they would go back to their life in Boston soon enough. Maybe then Erik would stop having these wild feelings for her. Maybe then he could mourn the real relationship he had just ended.
The rest of the day at the Center seemed to fly past. Folks from town stopped by here and there, dropping off gifts and food so that the whole place seemed to be in a state of constant celebration.
Erik found himself needing to step in and help out with donations.
He wanted to make sure that each person who offered something was thanked and given an opportunity to really understand what their gift meant, whether it was their time, some homemade food, or the completely unexpected gift from Baz Radcliffe, who dropped off a check for a staggering amount, then simply told Erik gruffly that he was sure he’d figure out some good to do with it, after all, it’s the holidays, and hurried off before Erik could make the gift public.
But his guests had no trouble keeping themselves occupied without him.
Gael played his game with practically every veteran there, and several of the volunteers too, laughing and encouraging his teammates to guess what was featured on the cards tucked into the headbands they wore.
It seemed like the more time Gael was around all the new people, the more the boy simply radiated joy, as if his energy actually grew the more time he spent with others.
Erik found himself thinking that a person with that gift could move mountains one day, if they wanted, bringing people together and inspiring them to greater things.
Meanwhile, Jenny talked quietly one-on-one with several of the veterans, spending quite a bit of time in conversation with Fallon, who looked like he was really opening up to her.
When she rose to check on Gael at one point, Erik was pretty sure he saw the man swipe away a tear from the corner of his eye.
Erik forgot sometimes that Jenny was a born teacher.
She’d always had a special gift for calming her friends.
And her thoughtful questions had helped Erik figure his way out of a jam or two in college.
The compassion in her solemn eyes always made him feel like the most important person in her world in those moments.
As the day wound down, people began heading out. Most of the men and women had apartments in town, but some had rented rooms with townspeople, and a few others were staying at the inn.
Angie, one of the vets who was staying at the inn, offered to take a carload of people back there in her station wagon after they watched a Christmas movie on the little TV in the common room. Erik had to laugh when they all decided to watch Die Hard as their Christmas movie.
“I guess we’d better head out,” Jenny said, approaching him. “Someone’s getting sleepy.”
Sure enough, Gael was half-dozing in a chair, leaning against Betty Ann Eustace, who smiled down at him fondly.
“He had a good day?” Erik asked, hoping his guess was right.
“It was a wonderful Christmas,” she told him. “For both of us. I’m so glad you invited us.”
“Me too,” he told her.
They headed over together to wake Gael, who opened his eyes with a funny smile, laughing at himself for falling asleep. And even Betty Ann, who was a good-hearted yet serious lady, laughed with him.
As Erik walked them to the door, everyone gave them the warmest goodbyes. It felt like his whole crew understood now what he had always known, that Jenny Grant was really special.
“Yo,” one of the younger guys called out as Erik grabbed the doorknob. “You gonna say goodbye to your girl without a kiss?”
Erik looked up to find the whole Center had turned to look at him expectantly.
When he looked back down at Jenny, her eyes were slightly widened and her cheeks were blushing pink in a way that made his heart pound.
“What do you think?” he asked her, his voice husky.
She nodded shyly.
Erik bent to kiss her, wrapping a hand around her upper arm. He paused for the tiniest second before his lips touched hers, giving her one last chance to tap out and run.
But Jenny didn’t run. Her dark eyes fluttered shut and she tilted her chin up, to make it easier for him.
He’d dreamed of kissing her since he was twenty years old. In his mind, he’d done this a thousand times. But the real thing was so much better.
It was a soft, chaste kiss, meant to be the kind of kiss a man gives his fiancée in front of his friends and colleagues.
But he breathed in her light apple scent and lost himself in the softness of her lips, wishing he could part them and claim her mouth in earnest.
It took superhuman restraint, but he pulled away instead, his pulse pounding and his heart thundering in his chest like an artillery barrage.
The guys were all cheering and laughing as he pulled back.
When he opened his eyes, the first thing Erik saw was Jenny, gazing up at him in wonder.
He glanced over at Gael, hoping it hadn’t traumatized the boy to see someone kissing his mother.
But Gael’s eyes were lit up and he was smiling to beat the band, little dimples appearing on his cheeks.
It’s only because this is like something that would happen on TV, Erik reminded himself. He knows I’m not really going to be part of their lives.
Somehow, that thought deflated some of the joy in his chest, even when Jenny squeezed his hand and Gael gave him a quick hug.
Before he had time to think about it, they were heading out the door, and Erik was suddenly hit with that melancholy Christmas-is-over feeling he remembered from childhood.
“Who’s ready for Die Hard?” he called out, summoning a cheer he didn’t feel.
Everyone headed for the common room. But Fallon held back.
“You don’t like it when they leave,” he observed, a note of empathy in his voice as he wrapped an arm around Erik’s shoulder. “But you’ll be married soon, buddy, and then you’ll never have to say goodbye. Won’t that be great?”
That really would be great.
If only it could also be true.