9. Jenny #2
She kept her eyes on their hands, hoping he wasn’t saying her name because he knew her shame.
She had promised a lifetime of love to her husband. And here she was, just a few years after losing him, hurtling down the slippery slope of the same crush that had tormented her through college.
“Okay, let’s do favorite colors, songs, movies, all that,” she said brightly, pulling her hand back. “That’s the kind of thing that could trip us up.”
“Your favorite color is green,” Erik said, shrugging.
It wasn’t always. Not until the first time I looked into your eyes.
“Your favorite song,” he continued, “is ‘Don’t Worry Baby’ and your favorite movie is While You Were Sleeping.”
“Oh,” she said, surprised he remembered any of that.
“And I think it’s easiest if we tell everyone that we met like we actually did, while we were in college together in Boston,” he offered. “Then we don’t have to remember as much.”
“Agreed,” she said.
“And if anyone asks again, you moved to Seattle last year for work,” he added.
“Good call,” she admitted with a smile. “We can’t have them thinking you might be marrying a Patriots fan, after all.”
“So, tell me about our first date,” he said, his voice lowering again. “What convinced you that I was worth keeping around?”
“Well, you planned it,” she said. “Why don’t you tell me about it?”
“I picked you up in the afternoon,” he said immediately. “With a bouquet of pink peonies.”
“Another favorite,” she said, impressed.
“We went to the Boston Public Garden,” he told her. “And we walked through the flowers and down to the pond.”
She could picture it perfectly. She had been to the Boston Public Garden many times. It was one of the most romantic places in the world, in her opinion. But she never imagined that Erik knew anything about it.
“I took you out on a paddle boat,” he told her. “And we laughed about the past and dreamed about the future. Afterward, we had breakfast for dinner at the place around the corner. But before we even got there, I already knew that I was going to have to convince you to marry me.”
“Why?” she asked without thinking.
“Because I just can’t live without you,” Erik said gruffly.
His eyes were locked on hers and his tone was so serious. Jenny knew they were supposed to be pretending. He had just made up a first date for them that never actually happened. But her heart was pounding.
“Special delivery,” Trudy said softly from the entry to the library.
Jenny turned to see that Trudy was back with a kettle.
“I wondered if anyone might like more hot chocolate,” Trudy said with a smile.
“Oh, um, no thank you,” Jenny said quickly. “I should probably get back upstairs.”
“Don’t do that,” Erik said. “Life is short, drink the chocolate.”
Jenny laughed and nodded to Trudy, watching as she poured out more for each of them and then heading back out of the room.
“So, pretend dates aside, how have you really been since college?” Erik asked lightly, leaning back in his chair.
And just like that, things were back to normal, or as normal as they could be with the two of them sharing a meal by the fire.
Jenny caught him up on everything—being a teacher and her new work teaching online, the joy of finding Jason and sharing a life with him, as well as the sadness of losing him.
She even told him about all the things she had done to qualify to be a foster parent and what it was like getting to know Gael as she prayed to be allowed to adopt him.
“Sounds like you were pretty busy,” Erik said.
“So were you,” she told him. “What was it like to be in the military?”
“I stayed on beyond my four years,” he said, lifting his hands as if that were an answer.
Jenny nodded, hoping there would be more, but not wanting to push.
“It wasn’t easy by any stretch,” he said after a moment. “But it was satisfying work and I felt… I don’t know, necessary.”
“That’s important to you,” she said, realizing it was true as soon as the words were out of her mouth.
“Of course,” he said. “Life should be about more than showing up and enjoying myself. I want to make a difference.”
“Well, you found a great way to do that,” she told him.
“I don’t know,” he said, shaking his head. “Sometimes I think I need the guys more than they need me.”
“That’s good, though,” she offered with a smile. “Then they can feel necessary too.”
“Have you been in touch with anyone else from school?” he asked her.
That launched them into a fond discussion of their friends and their past that had Jenny almost in tears from laughing so much.
When she finally looked out the window and noticed that it was dark outside, she glanced over at the clock on the mantel and was stunned.
“I didn’t realize how late it was getting,” she said. “I’d better get back to Gael.”
“Of course,” Erik said, getting up. “I’m sorry I kept you so late.”
“No, this was really, really fun,” Jenny said as she stood to join him. “I think I needed it.”
“Me too,” Erik said.
For a moment, all the fire was back in his eyes. He was standing so close to her, and his eyes slid down to her mouth.
Her heart thrummed as she waited, wondering if he would kiss her here, with no one to watch.
But he only cleared his throat and turned away.
“Thanks for today,” Jenny said, trying to pull herself together. “Gael and I had a lot of fun.”
“Does that mean you’ll come house hunting with me tomorrow?” Erik asked.
“You know, I think Gael would really like that,” she said, smiling.
“And you?” he asked.
“Yes,” she told him. “I’d like that too.”
“I’ll text you then,” he said, gesturing for her to lead the way out of the library.
She waited in the center hall, wondering how they were supposed to say goodbye, but he just waved to her and headed out into the cold, snowy night.
Hurrying up the stairs, she reminded herself that she had just spent time with an old friend, nothing more. There was nothing wrong with sharing a meal and reminiscing a little. And she had somehow even managed to keep her old crush on the man from humiliating her completely.
And when a little voice in the back of her head whispered that the crush might not be so old after all, she ignored it. They were helping out the veterans, allowing them to be part of a happily-ever-after even if it wasn’t their own.
Even if it isn’t real…
She opened the door to the suite. It was quiet—Gael must have finished his feast and his movie and moved on to reading comics.
“Sorry I was gone so long,” she said as she stepped inside.
But there was no answer. Panic started to slide icy fingers down her spine. She knew Gael couldn’t get into much trouble up here, but why wasn’t he answering?
It didn’t take long to get her answer.
Gael had curled up on the big sofa. One of his comics lay open on his chest, with more stacked on the table beside him, and the little boy was fast asleep with a smile on his face.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” she murmured, slipping the comic out of his hands and lightly tousling his hair.
She could hardly blame him. It had been an exciting day out in the cold, followed by a delicious meal. At this point, he would probably sleep through the night.
She briefly considered trying to move him to his cot, but he looked so cozy on the couch that she didn’t have the heart.
Instead, she gathered up his nice quilt and a fluffy pillow and covered him, placing the pillow on the coffee table so he could grab it if he woke up in the night.
As she got ready for bed, she thought again about their day, and the sweet ornaments they had brought back with them. Watching Gael feed the animals and dash back and forth across the snowy grass had made her heart feel whole.
In the city, they never had as many opportunities as she would have liked to get outside. It was fun to fantasize about living in a place like Trinity Falls, where they could have more days like today.
Once she had on her warm pajamas, she grabbed a book and a blanket and came back out to the living room to settle in on the loveseat opposite the sofa.
She was tired enough that she highly doubted she would notice the difference between the loveseat and her bed, and she had spent enough time away from her son tonight.
As she drifted off, she saw a blazing pair of green eyes in her mind, and heard a familiar husky voice.
I just can’t live without you…