Chapter 5
CHAPTER 5
K at played with her food. She was happy to have Paolo’s attention and enjoyed the light and easy conversation.
Explaining everything to her sister was necessary, but she wasn’t looking forward to it. She was certain Maggie would try to talk her out of leaving Nolan, and she didn’t want to start her visit with a fight. In her eyes, there was no way she was returning to her marriage.
When Iris, a chef at the inn, cleared the table, they walked through the kitchen and toward the back door. Two guests were sitting outside on the porch. Maggie felt the privacy of the carriage house was a better place to talk.
“Will Paolo be joining us?” Kat asked.
“No, he’s gone to Crawford Powell’s place. He’s helping Crawford build a shed on the back of his property.”
Kat nodded, glad they’d be alone. “Was the carriage house here when you bought the place?”
“No. I mean, the garage downstairs was here, we just added over it. We call it the carriage house because the garage originally had these horse and buggy designs over the doors.”
Kat wasn’t sure how much longer she could delay talking about Nolan.
“So, do you love living on Captiva Island? It certainly is a beautiful place.”
Maggie smiled. “I love it. I miss the kids, of course, but I try to get up north as often as possible. I don’t know if you’re aware, but Lauren is pregnant again and due any day now. I’m going up to Boston just as soon as I get the call from Jeff.”
Kat immediately felt like a terrible aunt.
“I didn’t know that. How wonderful for you all. You’ll be a grandmother again. What about the other kids? How are they doing?”
Maggie pointed to the sofa. “Let’s sit. Can I get you anything?”
“No, thank you, Maggie. Dinner was wonderful, but I’m full.”
Kat sat on the sofa, and Maggie joined her.
“Well, let’s see. Christopher and Becca are doing well. Chris has a great job, and Becca will be done with medical school next summer. Beth’s mother-in-law just passed away, and so she and Gabriel are probably on their way to California for the funeral. Michael, Brea and their kids are great. Brea went back to school, and Michael is healthy and back on the job. I see Sarah and her family all the time since they’re here. They have the sweetest little ones. What about your children? What are they doing these days?”
“Busy all the time. Ali and her husband Nick are in San Diego, so we do see them here and there. She has one little girl…Kendra. She’s three years old and I’d love to see her more often, but…well, they’re busy. Derrick and his wife Carla don’t have kids yet, but they’re trying. They live in Temecula. He’s done well for himself. His job takes him all over the place. I couldn’t tell you exactly what he does for a living…something to do with medical equipment sales.”
Kat tried her best to keep her voice upbeat and light, but the truth was that she felt sad at not seeing her family more.
She lifted her chin and smiled. “Everyone is doing great.”
She’d put off the inevitable long enough. “I guess you want to know about Nolan and me.”
Maggie nodded. “If you’re ready to talk about it. I’m ready to listen.”
Kat nodded. “Things haven’t been good between Nolan and me for a long time. I know he knows I’m right in the room with him, but I swear sometimes he thinks he’s alone. He looks at me and I feel like he’s looking past me somehow. I don’t know how to explain it, but the best way I know is to say he takes me for granted. Like I’m always going to be there so he doesn’t have to try anymore. It’s so lonely living this way.”
“I have to assume you’ve talked to him about this?” Maggie asked.
“Of course. I’ve been talking about it for months on end. It doesn’t make a bit of difference. Well, he’s taken me for granted for the last time. I gave him fair warning. I even tried to get him to go to a marriage counselor. I can’t do more than I’ve already done. If he isn’t willing to meet me halfway, then there isn’t anything else to be done. I have to think of myself. I’m still young. I’ve got a lot of living left in my life.”
Kat looked around the room and then back at Maggie. “If you have a glass of white wine, I’ll have that.”
Maggie looked taken aback. “Oh, okay…sure…I think I do. Let me look.”
Kat didn’t expect to feel so anxious. She’d made up her mind that leaving Nolan was the beginning of a new life, but now that she’d shared her plans with her sister, her insides felt like a brewing tornado was about to erupt.
Maggie returned with a cold glass of Pinot Grigio, and Kat immediately took several sips before continuing.
“Don’t get me wrong, Maggie. Nolan is a good man. He’s never cheated on me, and he’s never been abusive in any way. It’s just… well…I feel like I’m so alone even when he’s home. I figure, if I’m going to feel like I’m single, I might as well be single.”
Kat took another sip and searched her sister’s face for any reaction.
“Kat, I understand what you’re saying…I do. However, I think before you make permanent plans to divorce, maybe you should talk to Nolan again. Especially, now that you’ve left him, he might now see how serious you are about leaving him. Sometimes, that’s all it takes…you know, something drastic like coming to Captiva.”
Kat shook her head. “I doubt he’s even upset. If I know Nolan, he’s probably already made a trip to the liquor store and Kentucky Fried Chicken. I bet, right now he’s sitting in front of the tv eating his chicken and planning what other fast food and junk food he can buy at the grocery store. Do you realize that man has gained about forty pounds in the last year? That’s because he never gets out of his chair, except to go to the bathroom, or the kitchen.”
Maggie smiled. “I don’t mean to make light of your situation, but I’m sure this is fixable.”
Kat took another sip and then shrugged. “Not as far as I’m concerned. I don’t want to waste one more day on that man. I’ve already lost so much time being miserable.”
Kat could tell from the way Maggie wasn’t making eye contact with her that she had something more she needed to say.
“Well, go on. You might as well tell me what’s on your mind. You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
Maggie shook her head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just…well, I might as well tell you that I agreed to meet Mom for lunch tomorrow, and I think you should come with us. There is no way I can have lunch with that woman and not tell her what’s going on with you. She’ll get it out of me one way or the other. You know our mother and what she’s capable of. If you come to lunch, then you can tell her yourself. It will be better coming from you than me. I might say the wrong thing.”
Kat quickly got up from the sofa and paced the living room. With one hand on her wine glass she let the other run through her hair and then in the air. “Are you crazy? Can’t you tell her that you’re busy? There is no way I can talk to that woman and not lose it when she starts to criticize. I won’t do it, Maggie. You get on the phone and tell her that you can’t make it.”
Maggie was clearly losing patience with her, and Kat knew it, but she didn’t have a choice. In her eyes, their mother was the most opinionated person on the planet.
“I’m sorry, Kat, but I won’t do that. First of all, I’m not going to lie to her, and second, I think you’re selling our mother short. Since Mom moved down here, I’ve gotten closer to her than I have in years. At first, it was difficult, but the more we’ve talked, I’ve come to appreciate her wisdom. Mom went through a lot in her life, and as a grown woman, I now see things much clearer than I did when I was younger. I think if you give her half a chance, you’ll feel the same.”
Kat didn’t know what to say. She sipped her wine and returned to the sofa, unwilling to fight with her sister.
“I appreciate the way you feel, Maggie, but you and I are in different places in our lives. I don’t feel the same hope for a good outcome tomorrow.”
Maggie put her hand on Kat’s arm.
“Then trust me. Trust that I’m telling you everything will be all right. I wouldn’t put you through unnecessary angst while you’re already going through a difficult time. I need you to stay open and give Mom a chance.”
Kat sighed and nodded. “And if it goes bad, do I have your permission to never speak to her again?”
Maggie laughed as she walked to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine. “Aren’t you already doing that?”
Kat shrugged. “Good point.”
Beth watched her father-in-law flip a fried egg and then another. Since they’d arrived the night before, she’d watched him putter around the house trying to keep busy and his mind occupied.
He moved around the kitchen, set the table, made breakfast, answered telephone calls about the funeral, as if his wife’s passing was something to think about later, when he was alone.
Her husband Gabriel, his brother James and his wife Linda, along with Beth’s niece, Willow, sat around the breakfast table waiting for Thomas to catch the toast, mid-air.
“Are you sure we can’t help you with that?” Beth asked.
“Yes, let us help you,” Linda added.
“No. You all sit and relax. I’ve got this covered,” Thomas answered. “If you want, you can pour the orange juice in the glasses.”
“I can do that,” Willow said.
“Honey, your hands are too small to hold the bottle. How about you help butter the toast? Would you like to do that?” Linda asked her daughter.
Willow nodded and watched her mother butter the first piece. Beth poured the orange juice, and Gabriel and James watched their father, who was still at the stove.
Thomas seemed lost in thought and didn’t move for a few minutes before speaking. His voice, almost a whisper, said, “Your mother could flip pancakes so high in the air and then catch them when they came down…she was a master in the kitchen.”
No one said a word, and the room fell silent. Beth’s eyes watered at the loss of her mother-in-law. She couldn’t imagine how Thomas felt.
“I remember that,” Gabriel said. “I used to try that when I had my first apartment. I got it up in the air all right, but then it landed on the floor. My roommate ate it anyway.”
Everyone laughed at that. Even Thomas chuckled at his son’s first experience at pancake flipping.
“As I remember it, you couldn’t catch a football either,” James said, teasing his brother.
The laughter, even louder this time, broke through the silence, and helped everyone move beyond their pain.
Beth knew the next few days would be difficult, but she recognized how her husband’s family was much like her own.
In the coming days, they’d hold on to one another and share memories of a life before Alzheimer’s and illness.
With any hope, his family would help Thomas plan for a future on the east coast, and many days surrounded by people and friends who loved him dearly.