14. Nadia
14
NADIA
T omorrow.
Maxim was the master at being hot and cold with me. He’d risk himself and take a bullet for me, but he’d stand by his decision to hand me over to Lev.
It wasn’t fair. Yet, I knew that telling him that would result in nothing. He wasn’t going to change his mind about this. I saw it in the firm clench of his jaw, the refusal to make direct eye contact.
He was putting up walls, blocking me from mattering to him, and I hated how much it stung. It hurt. My stomach tensed and my heart ached. Deep inside, I felt rejected and unwanted, abandoned by the man I’d given my virginity to even though I hadn’t even known him for long.
Because I wanted to know him. I yearned to feel him again, and being pushed away wasn’t a pleasant sensation.
The elevator ride up to our floor was silent and tense. He didn’t glance at me, stone-faced and somber, and I kept my gaze plastered to the floor. My fingers itched to reach out to him, but even that was telling. Up until this moment, he’d made sure to always have his hands on me somehow. Holding me to him. Hauling me over his shoulder. Filling me with his dick. And even gently carrying me to that bed.
I wasn’t so foolish as to think he was cocky now. He would restrain me if he wanted to, because he’d made himself clear. He would see through this job and bring me home to my dad and Lev.
Without his grip on me, I felt… lost. I wanted him to make contact. I missed being held in any way. Even the harsh, bossy holds on my hands. I wanted a chance to be his like that again.
I wished to be his possession, his to hold and keep.
Keep dreaming.
It didn’t look likely.
“After you,” he said dully after he unlocked the door to our room moments later.
I didn’t speak, picking my brain for why he’d resort to such a bitter aloofness. It was as though he’d forgotten how he’d fucked me. How he’d growled into my mouth for deeper kisses.
As he deadbolted the door behind us, I watched the blood trickle from the wound on his arm. He’d turned toward me at the check-in desk, likely to hide it from the receptionist, but in the privacy of this room, he wasn’t worried about letting me see the damage.
“Shit. Maxim…” I reached out for his arm to check how bad it was, but he turned away, grimacing.
“Don’t.”
Is that why he’s in such a mood? Because he was shot?
“Let me see,” I insisted.
Still, he stepped aside. Pointing to the left, he raised his brows. “Go clean up.”
“But let me help?—”
“Go.”
I pressed my lips in a firm line, hating how he’d install distance between us. I didn’t argue, needing a chance to really clean up and shower. That place we’d broken into last night didn’t have running water, so this was a gift. All of this was a reward. I’d been worried about depleting my limited resources. I’d lost all my cash and cards when I was mugged, anyway, but Maxim had more than enough to provide for me.
Sure, he got this room for himself, too. And he said he was keeping me with him so he could deliver me home. But I appreciated it all, nonetheless. That was why I hurried through my shower, eager to get back to him. If he was going to be stubborn and try to be distant from me, I’d hack at his defenses and find the lover I’d enjoyed last night, the protector who'd worried to keep me safe.
He was quicker than me, already dressed in sweats that had been delivered. Rivulets of water clung to his skin before trailing down his bare chest. Standing near the bathroom door where he’d showered, letting steam curl out into the main room of the suite, he ran his hand through his long hair and let the moisture whisk out.
“Over there,” he said without emotion, pointing at a bag on the other bed.
I should’ve been shocked by his show of wealth. He’d waved money at the receptionist downstairs, and it was likely that young man who had helped get all these clothes so quickly. Money really did make the world go round.
I nodded, dropping my towel. It was a purely selfish action, teasing him and testing him with my nudity.
He’d noticed, but he didn’t stop me from pulling clothes on. After new panties and shorts covered me, I hesitated with the bra at the sound of him approaching.
“What happened to your back?” he demanded, taking over closing the bra clasp.
I closed my eyes, my back to him, and shivered at the brush of his knuckles on my skin. He was so close but determined to remain out of reach.
“When you pushed me against the wall in London, I hit a brick and it cut me.”
He grunted, running his fingertips over the still-healing cut. “You mean when you ran away.”
Not from you. Now that I knew how much he could matter to me, I didn’t want to impose any more of a gap between us.
I spun, not bothering to reach for a shirt. Peering up at his solemn face, I stayed within his arms. He lowered them quickly, and I was distracted by the gash on his arm.
“Running from the future I don’t want,” I corrected him as I guided him to sit on the bed he’d opened a first-aid kit on. “I thought that other man was someone Mr. Avilov sent after me, and I wanted to get away from him.”
He lowered, glowering at me as I began to clean the new blood from his wound. It was located near the back of his arm, and it would have been tricky to tend to it himself.
“And me,” he added dryly. “You ran from me.”
I kneeled next to him on the bed, focused on his injury. I hated to see the angry redness of the wound, and I cringed at the idea that he’d been hurt at all. “I didn’t know who you were.” It was the truth, and realizing it made me want to soften all the way to him. He couldn’t be my enemy. Not when he made me feel so good and encouraged me to let him into my life.
“You will not persuade me to fail this job,” he warned.
I glanced up at him as I compressed the cut.
“I know what you’re doing.”
I licked my lips, hating that he’d view me so angrily. “Helping you?”
“Trying to act all docile and sweet. Helpful.”
I huffed. “I’m never going to be sweet ,” I argued. Even though I really like it when you call me sweetheart.
“You have to go home. You are expected to marry Lev.”
Sighing deeply, I tried to think of the calmest, clearest way to explain how wrong he was. “If you insist on bringing me home,” I said as I secured a large bandage to his cut, “then do as you must.”
He narrowed his eyes on me. “But?”
I pulled my lip between my teeth. “But I won’t stay. I won’t marry him. I’ll run again. I will never stop running from being forced to marry someone I don’t want.”
Before he could say whatever he’d opened his mouth for, I covered his parted lips with my hand. “I won’t. And if my dad asks your Bratva for help to retrieve me again, I will run faster and harder.”
His dark stare pierced me, as if he were searching for my soul.
“I don’t want anything to do with Lev or any other Avilov. That is final.”
Still, he gazed at me.
“And if you have to do your ‘job’ and bring me home, that’s your choice. Just the same as it is mine to avoid that man until the day I die.” I lowered my hand to slide it up along his jaw, cupping his face. “And it’s my choice to go along with you so you’re not found negligent in what’s expected of you. I hate that you’re hurt. I don’t want you to suffer.” I swallowed hard. Even though I am suffering so much to accept that you don’t want me. “But I will not marry him.”
“You don’t have a choice, Nadia. That’s how things work in our world.”
I shook my head, crawling closer to straddle his lap. “I will make whatever choices I want. Like this.” I lowered closer to press my lips to his still set in a firm line. “and like this.” Breathing hard at the desire glittering in his eyes, I kissed him again, harder and longer.
He growled into my mouth, sweeping his tongue in to taste me. Bringing his hands up to my ass, he pulled me up along his lap to secure me closer to the erection bulging under his sweatpants. He nipped. He licked. He stole my breath as he kissed me back.
“And this?” he asked, undoing the bra he’d only just helped me put on. His fingers remained on my back, slowly dragging the straps away.
I nodded, and with a whiny sound of need, I lowered one arm for him to remove the lingerie. Kissing him again, I resolved to take all that he offered.
It was impossible to stay smart with him. Refusing to act on this simmering tension between us would be a crime.
I wanted him, needed him, and as he rolled me onto the bed with him, hovering over me, I saw how badly he felt the same.
“If I had a choice…” He raked his hungry gaze over me as he slid my bra off my other arm. “Fuck,” he growled, opting to bring his mouth down to my breast. His lips closed over my nipple, and as he flicked the tip of his tongue over the hard bud, I gasped at the sweet tension coiling so low in my abdomen.
Before he got too far in sucking on my nipples and sliding his hand under my waistband, his phone rang.
I whined, pouting at the interruption. Desire controlled me. Heat filled me with impatience to reclaim the bliss that I knew I could find in his masterful touch.
“Dammit.” He dropped his head to me, resting it on my chest. Eyes closed, he looked truly pained to be stopped. But he did. He cursed some more as he got up and stood next to the bed. “Stay.” He dragged his hot stare up and down me. “Just like that.”
I swallowed and met his gaze. Nodding, I let him see that I was here for him. He could take what he wanted. I would give it all to him, and I wished he could understand that in the deepest way possible.
I would choose to be his. Every time, I would decide to welcome him into my life.
All he had to do was ask. If he wanted me to stay put for him , I would.
He grabbed his phone and stalked off, adjusting his erection under his pants. “Alek? Yeah, I’m here.”
That was all I got of the phone call because he went into the other bathroom, the one I’d showered in, and held his conversation in there. It didn’t last long. I slumped back to stare at the ceiling and wonder how things could be different between us, and within a couple of minutes—when no solutions came to mind—he returned.
The lust that burned in his eyes was gone. It had been replaced with annoyance. Irritation. He sat on the edge of the bed, at the end, and raked his hand through his hair. The long locks slid right back over to shield his brow as he hung his head.
“Bad call?” I guessed, hating that the moment had been ruined. I understood that Maxim would give me up, and soon. It reconfirmed my wish to enjoy the little time that I would have with him while it lasted.
“He wanted an update,” he said dryly, twisting to face me.
I leaned up on one elbow, not flinching at his words.
“He said it shouldn’t be taking this long to bring one reluctant bride home.”
I shrugged. “I won’t apologize for the delay.”
“Obviously,” he quipped wryly.
“But I hate that he’s stressed about my pulling off this job right now.”
“How so?”
He sighed and glanced away. “Well, for one thing, it’s my first real assignment. I was always the behind-the-scenes guy. The brother who handled the books, then later, the computer end of things.”
My brows lifted high, and I didn’t care about masking my surprise. “Really?”
He nodded, frowning at me. “Yeah.”
“Huh.”
“Why do you sound surprised?” He turned to face me more.
“Well, you’re…” I gestured at him, waving a hand. “Dangerous and deadly.” My mind flashed back to how he’d shot those thugs at the other place. How fearsome he looked when fighting that Avilov man in London. “You do not look like some office worker.”
He smirked, crawling up onto the bed to lie next to me. On his side, he faced me but didn’t reach out to touch me. “I was. I’m the youngest and?—”
“Of how many?” I couldn’t help but smile. I always wanted siblings. Then again, my dad might have tried to barter them off too, so it was likely for the best that I was an only child.
“Four brothers. And they’ve never let me have a real mission in the field.”
I was his first assignment, then. “Aha. So you need to prove yourself to them or something?” I bit my lip to temper my smile. He was too sexy like this, not sheepish but almost shy to admit it.
“Yes. The pressure to bring you home is there, but I also want to make sure I’m available to help get my brother home, too.”
“Someone captured him?”
He nodded. “The Kastavas. Dmitri was fighting them, and he’s been missing since.”
I shook my head. “Kastavas? Never heard of them.”
“Rivals of the family. Alek, my oldest brother who is now the Pakhan , married Sergei Kastava’s daughter, but the family remains an enemy.”
I whistled slowly. “Sounds like drama. I never grew up like that. I mean, yeah, my dad’s under the Valkov protection, but he’s like, a little guy. A small cog in the whole operation.”
He nodded. “He is.”
“I’ve never felt like I was an actual elite Mafia daughter.”
He smirked. “Except when you’re reminded that you need to marry a prominent member of another Mafia organization?”
I exhaled and winced. “Yeah, that.”
I didn’t want to talk about it. While I never wanted to know about the Mafia men who dealt with my dad, I was intrigued about the fierce and sexy protector sharing this bed with me. “Do you think Dmitri is okay?”
He furrowed his brow. “Yes. I hope so. I had a tracker injected under his skin, and they cut it out.”
I grimaced.
“Torture is expected, and Dmitri is a hard fucker to beat. But Sergei Kastava’s been planning to attack us ever since Alek took Mila from her wedding.”
“Whoa. Like at the wedding?”
He chuckled. “Yeah. It was a mess.” As he summarized the story and gave me a watered-down explanation of how his oldest brother met his wife, I snuggled closer to him and enjoyed the fact that he was opening up to me.
We weren’t intimate, fully clothed and not even in the bed, but for the hours that we talked and talked, I felt like we grew closer to each other.
When I eventually drifted toward a deep sleep, my lids tiring as I stared at his face, I relished the soothing caress of his hand on me, stroking my long hair back.
Nothing had changed. I knew, deep down, that he would still bring me back home to marry Lev even if it wasn’t something that he wanted to happen to me.
Which was why I still planned to run as soon as the opportunity arose—no matter how much it would break my heart to flee from the sexy, strong man I wanted to keep forever.