16. Nadia
16
NADIA
T he second I heard the balcony doors shut, I opened my eyes.
For several minutes, I’d felt the weight of Maxim’s stare on me. That was what initially woke me up, but I wanted to appear as sleeping and free to bask in the warmth of his affection. He was a gentleman to let me sleep in. A considerate… friend. I was sure there were many other layers to this rugged man, but I was running out of time to peel them back and really discover him.
His phone was missing from the nightstand, and that told me enough. He was out there, where I couldn’t hear him, likely finalizing the plans to fly back to the States. Even though I felt so different about him, closer somehow, after staying up late and just being with him, talking for hours, and listening to him share about his family, nothing had changed between us.
He’d been tasked with retrieving me.
And I was still determined to avoid marriage to Mr. Avilov.
Yesterday, when Maxim told me that he’d bring me back today, he meant it. Now that I knew that he was eager to wrap up the assignment of taking me home to my dad because he wanted to hurry and help find his brother, I felt bad to hold him up. I didn’t want to restrain him from finding his sibling he obviously loved.
I refused to feel guilty about running away, though. I was betraying his trust to attempt it again. He had to assume that I would stay put here, sleeping in, but the survival instinct inside me wouldn’t cease.
But I had to run. And while I had an opportunity to do so now, I would.
Slipping out of bed, I kept a hawk-like stare on the balcony door. If he came in and spotted me snooping around, he’d be suspicious. I couldn’t allow it. I needed to run like hell.
First, I grabbed a sweatshirt from the small pile of new clothes Maxim had arranged to be delivered here. Then, after I made sure my feet were in the sturdy, strapped sandals, I crept to the dresser where he’d set his wallet. It wasn’t thick, but I knew he had what amounted to a large slice of wealth in there. Taking a card wouldn’t work. It was traceable. But the rest of the cash…
I slipped it all into my pocket. Guilt flogged me. Shame battered my soul, but this wasn’t a fight between what was right and wrong. This was a war between staying alive and free or being captured and abused.
It wasn’t selfish to want to be independent. Casting a glance at the sliding door that remained closed to the balcony he stood on, I worried about how selfish it was to want that man for myself.
To wish that I could banish all the obstacles and conditions that prevented me from being able to simply approach Maxim and admit that I was falling for him.
I couldn’t.
Instead, I turned and hurried out of the hotel suite. Armed with nothing but my determination to live my life on my terms, as I saw fit, I walked as quickly as I could down the corridor. Sprinting would have felt better. Running hard would’ve given my body a way to vent out this pent-up energy that this adrenaline rush created. It would also alarm other guests and the staff, and I didn’t need anyone following me anywhere and seeing what I was doing.
No one stopped me. I passed by a few guests and a couple of housekeepers pushing carts, but no one paid me any attention.
Skirting past the tall plants in the front lobby, I avoided getting too close to the front desk. I didn’t need anyone up there to notice me, and I knew three cameras were anchored high on the walls. I spotted them last night when I scoped out the room.
The second I set foot outside, I breathed in a deep inhale. It didn’t clear my mind. I felt dizzy, nauseated with the rush of running after realizing how much I wanted to stay with Maxim for the sake of his company alone.
It felt so wrong to run, but at the same time, necessary. This was all I could do.
Taking one step, then another, I put my escape plan into action. With every fall of my foot on the sidewalk, my doubts and second thoughts pinged in my weary mind.
I didn’t want to leave Maxim’s side. I missed him already. His charming smugness. That easy, instant need of his to protect and provide for me.
He was my rescuer. My hero. But as long as he wanted to also contribute to shackling me with Lev, he had to be my enemy.
I alternated between a fast walk and a slight jog as drizzle began to fall. With how humid it was, it felt like moisture rose and fell, mixing in a thickness right at my height. I never minded the heat. I hardly ever gave the weather much attention. Right now, it felt like a block, like the atmosphere itself was clawing at me, suffocating me.
I panted, even though I was rested and not exerting myself too much with this hasty walk-jog. The panic of potentially being caught hung over me heaviest, like a cloud of doom that I’d never lose.
I’d never felt more alone than this moment as I scurried away from the hotel.
I was solo, a single woman hurrying like the devil was on my tail. No one waited nearby to offer me assistance. I didn’t have any backup prepared to help me.
All my life, I’d felt like that. My dad had never cared to be close to me. Knowing I had to live a life on the run and hide from the man I didn’t want to marry, my solitude and independence were gifts. They were benefits that helped me.
After spending the little time I had with Maxim, though, I wished I could lean on him again. For his protection. For his affection. Just for his presence to ground me.
I will always miss him.
That was a fact, but I still could not bring myself to turn around and sacrifice myself to Lev Avilov.
I refused to live with an old sadist like him. I simply couldn’t.
Before, I refused on the principle of it. I told my father no on the basis that I didn’t enjoy the feeling that I was chattel, a thing to be promised to another.
Now that I knew how good it could be with Maxim, that fate was triply worse to consider.
I rolled my eyes as I rounded a corner too quickly, stubbing my toes on a high crack in the sidewalk.
I mean, yeah, the sex was good, but…
But I had nothing to compare it to. I was hooked on the memory of how good it felt with Maxim, but I was aware that my experiences in that department were limited.
He’d taken my virginity. I hadn’t been saving it for anyone, but I was damned glad I gave that honor to Maxim. He just knew how to drive me wild. He was somehow intelligent enough to know how to make me come so hard. I wasn’t sure if it was a display of how experienced he was from having many other women or if he just somehow knew how to read me expertly like that.
I hated the chance that I was getting hung up on Maxim because he was my first, because he was so good at fucking me hard with a perfect balance of pain and pleasure.
I mentally chided myself for becoming attached to him, especially this quickly. As someone who prided herself on being independent, it was a huge drop.
But it wasn’t a matter of being wowed. It wasn’t just the case of enjoying good sex and wanting more.
It was him.
For a few fleeting moments, I’d dared to think that we fit. That we meshed so well.
I turned, unable to shake this sixth sense of being watched. Even though I was bombarded with thoughts about Maxim and questioning myself as I ran from him, this feeling of being watched and chased wouldn’t cease. Fearing someone stalking me was the norm now.
This need to escape and hide was embedded in my bones. I couldn’t stop glancing over my shoulder. Flickers of panic would return and rise up, prompting me to run faster without thought to where I was.
The drizzle shifted back and forth into rain, and with the slick sidewalks, I slipped more than I should have.
If Maxim was after me…
He’d be so mad. I braced for his anger, even the hurt that might show on his face at the thought of having to chase me down.
But if Mr. Avilov’s goons were coming for me…
No. I couldn’t stomach the possibility of those men seeking me out. They’d be hard and ruthless with me. They’d treat me worse than Maxim had. That was a given.
Maxim would want to punish me, yes, but with him?—
I gasped, flinching at a shadow behind me. Over there, near the building, a tall man hurried in my direction.
He was only rushing toward a car pulled up to the curb, though. But my frantic mind was convinced he was coming after me.
Dammit. I’ve got to get a grip.
My heart didn’t slow. I was revved up, high on the adrenaline. I was rooted, frozen in the instinct to flee.
As I turned to face forward, flustered with that last, silly scare, I held my breath too late.
A car barreled toward me.
Rain fell steadily, blurring my vision as the impact came.
Pain spread through me. The sensation of flying through the air had bile rising up my throat.
In the distance, as though I were listening from underwater, the screeching squeal of tires braking on slick pavement reached my ears.
The dull but fast thunder of my pulse filled my head. As I landed hard on my back, my breath was punched out of me.
Agonizing aches overwhelmed me. Shocked that I’d been hit by a car, I lay there and felt my chest rising and falling. Steady, and too slow for my racing heart.
The continued patter of raindrops on my closed lids irked me, but I lost the willpower—the energy—to squint them shut any tighter.
Darkness filled me. Keeping my eyes closed was easier than fighting to open them and assess how badly I was wounded.
Warmth trickled down my forehead, and with a belated, sluggish awareness, I realized that I’d hit my head.
“Maxim,” I mumbled, feeling like my lips were swollen and unable to work.
His name was all I could whisper as the blank blackness of nothingness threatened to consume me.
His face was all I wanted to see in my mind’s eye.
I never had a chance to tell him goodbye. He would’ve fought me to stay and not run.
And now, on the brink of unconsciousness, I realized how final my departure from him might be.
I passed out, straining to stay awake to the short, sweet memories of him.