Chapter Fifteen #2
“I went to a therapist. At first, I couldn’t imagine talking about my feelings.
The doctor was a shifter and very patient.
As a result of my time with him, I know I'm a man who will always want control in all things. My life was out of control, and I needed that feeling. It’s part of who I am, and it’s not harmful.
I hate being alone in the dark and basements.
He had me practice and gradually dim the lights in a small room.
It helped, and I’m not as traumatized by it.
He made me see that I shouldn’t feel guilty for loving her, but I can acknowledge that it was her actions that molded my love, demanded it.
Now I can look at my childhood objectively, yet I'll always have tough moments because of it.
“The years went by, and Vivian called less and less. I never answered. I started to wonder about my brothers. Finding them seemed impossible. Moving here, I wanted to try, but I set up my business first. I met the lions, and I became friends with Las. I opened up to him, and he introduced me to Quinn. He agreed to look into it, and barely started when they found me.” I smile thinking about the first time I saw Hunter and Bane.
“I felt an instant connection. My jaguar knew they were family, and suddenly their faces as boys came rushing back. All the memories I’d forgotten or pushed away were there again.
It was odd. My animal knew them, yet we were strangers.
I was hesitant. Hunter and Bane had a bond.
They had been together since birth and their experiences were similar.
It was as if I was on the outside again, by no fault of theirs.
“It took time and patience. Once we shifted together, things began to fall into place. There is something about being in the wild, one with our animals, brothers again. Months later, it felt like we had always been together. Their life wasn’t here, but with Heath.
He was their friend, boss, and someone they didn’t want to leave.
I understood. I wished they would move here, and I was grateful when they did.
Heath isn’t the most open man; it took a bit to get to know him.
I will always be grateful to him; he helped find Lawson.
When we were finally reunited, everything fell into place.
” I glance over my shoulder, hearing him roll over on the bed.
“He needs us even more than we need him.” I narrow my eyes as he emits a low growl.
Haven looks at me, but her human ears can’t hear him.
“He’s restless,” I mumble. I’d hoped that being with Haven would allow him to sleep through the night.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, stepping back.
“If I ask you to stay out here, will you?”
“Why?”
A pained cry comes from her bedroom, and she inhales sharply.
“He’s having a nightmare.” I move, jogging to get to my brother. Haven runs behind me. “Haven,” I growl.
“No. The answer is no,” she says firmly.
“Fuck. He doesn’t want you to see him like this.” Honestly, I don’t know how he will react, but my first instinct is to protect his pride.
“He needs me,” she says softly. We stop at the door. The groans of pain are louder.
“He can get violent. If he hurts you, he won’t come back,” I warn.
“Please,” she whispers, and I clench my teeth.
As I open the door, Lawson is clawing at the sheets, twisting on the bed.
I put my arm out when Haven takes a step.
“Remy, let me go to him. I know he won’t hurt me.
” I stare at her for a moment. “You can stay right beside me. Yank me out of the way if he swings.” I want to laugh and spank her ass at the same time.
“Fine,” I grit out, and grab her hand.
She moves quickly toward the bed.
“Lawson,” she says firmly, and he twitches.
“I’m here. You’re here with me.” His head tilts her way, but his eyes remain closed.
“You’re safe.” She sits on the edge of the bed, and I tighten my grip.
“I want to sleep beside you.” His body begins to relax.
“Will you let me?” She touches his hand, trailing her fingers over his fist. I’m shocked as he releases the sheets.
“I need you to keep me warm.” She pulls away and crawls closer.
“Lawson, mate, you're safe.” His eyes slowly open, and his breath evens out.
“Haven?” he rasps.
“Who else? You better not have anyone else in your bed,” she sings.
“Sunshine,” he mumbles.
“I’m tired. Will you hold me?” She slides close to him.
“Yes,” he says, and holds his arm to the side. I watch in awe as he cuddles her close. “Had a nightmare,” he whispers.
“I have them too. They suck, but we can help each other. Yeah?” she asks, placing her head on his chest.
“Yeah, sunshine.” He smells her hair, tightens his arm, and smiles slightly.
“We'll always sleep close.” She sighs and sinks against him.
I don’t know how long I stare at them. Haven falls asleep with no fear, and Lawson’s breathing deepens.
Shit. She is something. She really did tame the beast. I cover them up and stand at the end of the bed.
I rarely get emotional, but seeing Haven’s kindness, fearlessness, and love toward my brother causes my throat to close.
He’s been in pain for so long, it’s nice to see him get some relief.
His nightmares come every night, and we try to calm him.
He’s taken a swing at each of us numerous times.
I knew I could pull Haven back if he tried, but I wanted to see if she could do what we had failed at.
He fears hurting her, and now we know he never will.
Backing out of the room, I shut the door slightly and pull out my phone. I run my hand through my hair as I call Hunter.
“What’s wrong?” he answers.
“Lawson had a nightmare.”
“Is Haven alright?” he asks, and I hear Bane close by.
“She calmed him.” I wait, but there is nothing but silence. “She’s sleeping beside him.”
“What?” he rasps.
“She insisted that she could help. She spoke to him, crawled onto the bed, and he woke up. He pulled her close and smiled. They are both asleep.” I lean against the wall.
“Fuck,” Bane says.
“She's his peace,” Hunter murmurs.
“Yes. I'll stay close, but I don’t think we have to worry.”
“He deserves it,” Bane says gruffly.
“We all do,” I whisper.
“We can’t fuck it up,” Hunter says. “We have to make her want to stay.”
“I don’t think she’s going anywhere,” I say.
“Why?” Bane asks.
“She was with Lawson.” More silence. “She knew he needed her. I observed.”
“That’s—” Hunter pauses.
“It was beautiful,” I say softly.
“Good. She’s perfect,” Bane rumbles.
“Did Lawson speak about his past?” Hunter asks.
“Yes, he told her everything.”
“I’m glad she knows. Heath thinks he found Frank,” Hunter says.
“How sure is he?” I ask.
“Not sure enough to inform Lawson. If he becomes sure, we need to control the situation. We have to think about Haven,” Hunter says.
“She gave her approval. She understands why he needs to find him and kill him.” I grin when I shock them again. “We can’t underestimate our mate.”
“We won’t, but we also shouldn’t underestimate her father.
I sent someone to get her pictures. He got them secure and then watched as I instructed.
If we had waited any longer, her father would have gotten them.
Her entered the apartment and was inside for thirty minutes.
When he came out, he didn’t look happy,” Bane says.
“Did he take anything?” I ask.
“No,” Hunter says.
“That’s odd,” I mumble.
“Unless he wanted the pictures, and just the pictures,” Bane says.
“Our guy went back in. We thought he could have trashed the apartment in a rage. Nothing was out of place,” Hunter says. “I’m diving deeper into his background. I don’t feel right about him.”
I always trust Hunter’s gut.
“Haven needs to move in with us,” Bane states.
“Bane, I’m not sure—”
“Remy, didn’t you just tell us not to underestimate her?” Bane reminds me. “She will. We need her close with all of us around her, all the time.”
“Rylee will understand,” Hunter adds.
“Fine. Will you both be here in the morning? We can do it together.”
“Yes. Our guy will be here with her things anyway,” Bane says.
“Take care of them, Brother,” Hunter says.
“Of course.” I hang up and slide my phone in my pocket. I hear the elevator before I smell Rylee’s scent, and I look at my watch. Ten o’clock. The date must not have gone well. Moving away from the bedroom, I walk toward the kitchen just as the front door opens.
“Worst date ever,” Rylee announces, locking the door behind her.
“First, he didn’t pull out my chair. I know I can do it myself, but it’s nice not to have to.
It’s also nice if I'm asked about myself. He loved to talk.” She slams her purse on the island.
“I don’t mind dating humans, but I don’t think I will anymore.
Just imagine his reaction when I told him I was a fighter.
Let me tell you,” she says, wagging her finger.
“He was less than pleased.” She opens the fridge and grabs a water bottle.
“He was appalled. It wasn’t the profession of a lady.
” She takes a drink. “I wanted to throat punch him. The food was yummy, so I stayed through the meal. He didn’t pay.
” She rolls her eyes. “Whatever. On to the next. Where’s Haven? ” I smile and shake my head.
“Asleep.”
“Lawson?”
“With her.”
She hums and leans across from me.
“She needs to move in with you,” she says, and I lift a brow. “Don’t tell me the four of you haven’t been thinking about it since you met her.”
“We have.”
“She needs to be in your space. I love her, but I won’t hold her back. I have seen the horrors of dating.” She cringes. “She doesn't want to go back out there. I know how important it is to find your mate, and she'll agree. All I have wanted is her happiness and for her to move here. I get both.”
“You surprise me.” I tilt my head.
“We haven’t spent much time together.” She motions between us. “I surprise a lot of people. I would never deny her happiness. She’s been an important part of my life, and she will continue to be.”
“I appreciate it. We discussed it tonight. We’re going to ask tomorrow.” I fold my arms on the counter. “We're looking into her father. He doesn’t seem right. We want her close.”
“Be careful with him,” she warns.
“What do you know?” I narrow my eyes.
“She hasn’t told you everything. She has ignored many of his activities.
I don’t trust him. He’s not a good man, and a horrible father.
I knew he wouldn’t be happy if she moved, but I knew the family would protect her if she did.
Now that she has four mates, I wasn’t as worried.
” She stands straight. “Don’t underestimate him. ”
“We won’t.” If I didn’t know she had just gotten home, I would think she had overheard us speaking. “Thanks, Rylee.”
“No problem.” She turns slightly. “I’m a wonderful person.” She grins. “I’m going to sleep since I won’t be having any sexy times tonight,” she sighs.
“Sleep well,” I chuckle.
“Let’s hope.”
I watch her disappear before going back to Haven’s room.
I shut the door and drag the chair to the side of the bed.
I take off my shoes, settle back, and prop my feet on the bed.
Watching them sleep, I know I won’t be getting any.
I’m proud of Lawson, but I feel the need to watch over them.
Haven seems so small compared to my brother, and it makes me want to protect her more.
Having her move in will ease our fears for her safety.
I want to show her our home. She will have plenty of beds to choose from, but I’m glad Hunter insisted we choose a house with an extra room.
I don’t want her to feel pressured to sleep with one of us, and she can have her own space.
Our world has narrowed, and we don’t care about anything but her.
It took all my control to let the moment be all about Lawson, but I know my time will come.
Once it does, I hope she can accept everything I am.