Episode 70
EPISODE 70
FOOLS FOR LOVE
Sienna
Five bikinis—one in black, of course. A classic. Also one in white, another classic. The next is candy-apple red—so not me. Then the dark brown, the one I wore yesterday on the catamaran. The last one Evangeline insisted upon—gold with a thong bottom. That woman thinks gold is my color. I couldn’t disagree more.
The suits lie on my bed, taunting me.
Stay here.
Stay here.
Stay here.
Then my suitcase, in Lavonne’s voice.
Go home.
Go home.
Go home.
I’ve already packed enough into my smaller bag to last a few days. I can leave, see Lavonne, and then return. I need bikinis for a vacation on a tropical island. I need them here in my suite, not packed with me, if I’m coming back.
I flop down, knocking the gold thong off the edge of the mattress, when someone knocks on my door.
What time is it, anyway? After I talked to Brett on the beach early this morning, he disappeared as he walked back toward the mansion. I stayed on the beach alone for a few minutes and then returned to the mansion and went back to bed. I slept sporadically, dreams of Lavonne and Leroy and of Brett and Alex haunting me.
But it’s the talk with Brett that truly preoccupies me. He said I should go, see Leroy, see if we can work it out. But Brett was influenced by his own history of loss, which I know nothing about. Did his person cheat on him? Leave a stable relationship for a few nights of romping? Can I trust him—a man I hardly know—to give good counsel in this situation?
I sigh and walk to the door. Heather stands there, wearing athletic shorts and a tight tank. Her layered blue tips are pulled up in a high ponytail with some strands hanging loose. The swirl of her viper tattoo is visible on her shoulder.
“Hey,” she says, but then her smiles fades. “You okay?”
Screw you, puffy eyes and red nose. I can’t hide a damned thing. “I’m dealing. What’s up?”
“I thought I’d see if you wanted to take a walk on the beach or something. Have you had anything for breakfast?”
I open the door for her and she walks in. “Just some orange juice earlier, and as nice as a morning walk sounds, I can’t. I may be...leaving.”
Heather drops her jaw. “No! You can’t. We’ve already lost Ginger and Rachel.”
“Then there’s more of a chance for the rest of you.” I sigh. “It’s not that simple, anyway.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“Not really, but maybe it’ll help.” I take a seat on the sofa in my living area and pat the spot next to me. I don’t know Heather well, but I have advice from Brett. What’s another opinion going to hurt?
So I pour out my guts. I tell her all about Leroy, about our relationship and how it ended, how I love his parents, and how Lavonne is suffering and may not make it.
“You want to go,” Heather says succinctly.
“Why would you say that?”
“Are you kidding? I can hear it in your voice, Sienna. You clearly care about his mother.” She pauses. “And you still love him .”
She’s not wrong. “Then I’m an idiot.”
“No, you’re not.” She tugs a strand of her blue-tipped hair behind her ear. “Love doesn’t always make sense. In fact, it rarely does. It’s not logical. If it were, it wouldn’t be nearly as powerful. We’re all fools for love, aren’t we?”
“The world’s biggest fools,” I say dryly.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been there too. I’ve been cheated on. What woman hasn’t been?”
“But were you cheated on by a fiancé? By a man you’d spent four years with? I mean, he fucked the stripper at his friend’s bachelor party, for God’s sake.” I shake my head. “I’m a meme, Heather. A fucking cliché.”
She doesn’t reply. How can she? I’m a hundred percent right.
“Yet here I am,” I continue, “considering trying to work it out with Leroy...and not just for Lavonne’s sake.” I sigh. “You’re right. I still love him, Heather, which, as I said, makes me an idiot.”
She smiles, and for the first time I realize just how beautiful Heather is. Her look is so different from mine, but no less spectacular. Maybe I should get a tattoo...
“I’m right there with you,” she says. “I’m half in love with Sebastian Tate already, but even if he ultimately chooses me, how can I expect him to be faithful? He has groupies following him all over. I should know. I used to be one of them.”
“Seriously?”
“Oh, yeah. I followed him all over Europe several years back. It was a great summer.” She closes her eyes, clearly remembering, but then opens them. “I got over it, but wow...seeing him in person. And last night...”
“Your date went well, I take it?”
“God, did it ever. Until Misty interrupted us. But that’s another story.”
“Shocking,” I say, but I don’t elaborate. I heard enough about Misty with Evangeline, River, and Sebastian earlier.
“Right?” Heather says. “Misty’s a mess. I could go on and on about that, but right now you need to focus. Are you going back for Leroy’s mom? Or for Leroy himself?”
I shrug. “I’ve been telling myself it’s for Lavonne. And that’s not a lie. I love her like she’s my own mother. But it’s also for Leroy. How can I not be there when I still love him?”
“I don’t know what to say or what the answer is,” Heather says, “but I’ve got a feeling that Leroy only went with the stripper for sex.”
“We had a great sex life.”
“I’m sure you did, but sometimes men get a little...”
“Bored?” I offer.
“It’s not even that. I guess I want to say antsy, and I know that sounds like I’m describing a toddler with the attention span of a puppy, but in some ways, men never leave that stage. They think with the wrong head and they do something stupid when they get scared. They’re men, after all.”
I can’t help a chuckle. She’s hit the nail on the head about men, for sure. Funny, though, how she said Leroy might have gotten scared—the same thing Brett said earlier.
How have I not gotten to know Heather better before now? I’m not a huge talker, and some of the women paired up as pals right away. Emily and Ariel, Rachel and Ginger, Heather and June. That left Misty and me...and I had no desire to become her bestie.
“I don’t know what to say or what the answer is,” Heather continues, “but I know that some things matter more than sex. I doubt that stripper will be at his mother’s bedside.”
“He already said they were over,” I counter, “but what if I return and she is there?”
Heather grins. “Easy. You kick her ass and take her place.”
“Are you kidding? Strippers are strong and athletic. How else can they do those pole acrobatics?”
“You’re athletic too, from what I can see. You’ve got a body to die for, a classically beautiful face, and you’re a damned lawyer, Sienna. You’ve got it all over her, whoever she is.”
I shrug again. “I don’t want to compete with a stripper for a man. I don’t want to compete with anyone for a man.”
Heather laughs out loud. “You do realize what you just said, right?”
I join in her laughter. A good belly laugh, because she’s right. My statement was ridiculous. What the hell am I doing here, then, if I don’t want to compete for men?
“If I go back for Lavonne, that doesn’t mean I’m going back to Leroy,” I say, more to myself than to Heather.
Heather nods. “I know. You remember that. And if you do decide to take him back, remember who you are. If you give him a second chance despite his mistake, it’s because you have a history that matters. Because you have feelings that matter. You’re not a woman taking him back because you’re afraid you can’t do any better. This island should have proved that to you.”
I nod. “What would you do if you were me?” I ask out of curiosity.
“You’d be amazed at how often I get asked that question. Something about bartenders and hairdressers makes people want to spill their guts.”
“So...” I prompt.
“Don’t overthink,” she says.
I inhale. “That’s what you tell your clients? That can mean so many things, Heather.”
“Let me break it down specifically for you, then.” She pauses a moment. “Don’t rationalize. You’re a smart woman. You’re trained in analyzing issues and arguing for your side. You can’t treat love that way, because love isn’t rational. Don’t try to fix a love problem with a tool that isn’t designed for it. Go with your heart. Even if you get hurt again and again and again, your heart will always lead you where you need to be.”
I consider her words.
And I know what I’m ultimately going to do.