4. Killian
KILLIAN
Noah
Who wants to grab a beer?
Jamie
I’m in. Where to?
Maddox
I’m working tonight.
Maverick
West End it is.
Jamie
Good. Drinks are on Maverick.
Maverick
WTF?
Jamie
Come on... We’ve got to celebrate you going to the Superbowl.
Maverick
Shouldn’t drinks be on you then, asswipe?
Jamie
Fuck no. You’re getting a Superbowl bonus. My season’s over.
Killian
I’m in, but I can’t drink.
Noah
Looks like Killer’s driving.
Jamie
Is Lilah coming?
Noah
Doubt it. The only time she’s left the house is to go to the gym or my parents’ house.
Maverick
Should we force her out?
Noah
Nah. She’d be pissed.
Maddox
Lilah’s even hotter when she’s pissed.
Noah
Gross, dude.
Maddox
She’s not my sister.
I ignore whatever else the guys say and shove my phone back in my pocket.
Pretty sure I’ve never wanted to punch Maddox as much as I do right at this moment.
Lilah is hot when she’s pissed, and it’s so much fun to piss her off. It’s easy too.
She’s been at Crucible every day since the self-defense class... showing up in skintight leggings and a crop top. Or worse, skintight booty shorts and a sports bra. Smiling at everyone inside. Everyone but me. Me, she glares at. Full-on fucking glares.
Her curves are softer than most of the female fighters we have training. Her muscles not quite as defined but still there. A hidden strength.
She won’t come near me. Just runs on the treadmill or attacks the StairMaster with her headphones on, humming or singing while she’s at it.
And the girl barely breaks a sweat.
It’s more like a glow.
A fucking glow.
“You talking to yourself, baby brother?” My older sister, Brynlee, walks into her office and kicks the door shut behind her. She’s been the physical therapist at Crucible for a few years now, and honestly, I love having her here... usually . “Up on the table, Killian. Let me see that shoulder.”
I hop up on the table and shrug out of my shirt so she can manipulate my muscles. My shoulder has been giving me a hard time for a few days, and with the fight two months away, that’s a problem.
“So... why were you talking to yourself?” Her thumb digs in, pressing on a pressure point near the joint, and I wince.
“I wasn’t—ow! Shit, Brynn . . .”
“Don’t be a baby.” Her eyes narrow as she moves her thumbs and positions her baby bump away from the table. “And I call bullshit. You’ve got a look, and you were mumbling...” She slides her fingers over the ball of my shoulder. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” She pushes harder, and I wince again. “Christ, Brynnie. If I wanted you to know, I’d have been talking to you instead of myself.”
“No, you wouldn’t.” She pushes me until my back hits the table, then works her way down my arm. “Fine. Keep it to yourself. But don’t think we haven’t all noticed you’ve been distracted lately.”
“Have not.”
“Now you sound like my kids, Killer.” She hooks me up to the stim machine and takes a step back. “ Any chance it has something to do with a certain Ryan girl?”
I ignore her.
Wrong move.
“I knew it. You’ve got a thing for Dillan Ryan.”
My head whips her way. “I don’t. But nice try.”
“Lilah?” This time she sounds more shocked and less excited. “Damn, little brother.”
“I don’t have a thing for Lilah Ryan. We’re friends.”
There’s no way she believes that line of bullshit. We haven’t been friends in years, and she knows it, but she doesn’t call me out on it either. “Whatever you say. But keep your head in the game. Dad will have your ass if you get distracted now.”
“Yeah... I know.” But even as I agree, my mind drifts to Lilah and those leggings.
I’m so fucking screwed.
“ H ow’s training going, man?” Noah taps his beer to my water and pulls his hat down lower over his eyes as the two of us sit, nearly hidden, in the back corner of Maddox’s bar while Jamie dances with a few of the Kings cheerleaders.
I hold my water up again. “It’s going. Living like a monk. So, you know...”
“Nah, man. Not really sure I know how that one goes,” he laughs. Noah may have been quieter about it than the rest of us, but he’s been just as big a partier as all of us have. “But it sounds pretty shitty.”
“When I defend my title next month and win, it’ll be worth it.” I tell myself the same damn thing every day... when Dad and Hudson are giving me shit. When I’m shoveling down chicken and rice for the fifteenth day in a row. When everyone else is enjoying a beer and I’m sucking down water. “What the hell is going on with your living arrangements? Did you get moved back into your place? Or are you subletting it to Jamie?”
He takes a pull from his beer as the entire dance floor erupts when the song changes and Lilah’s beautiful voice sings “You Never Knew Me At All . ” He cringes and moves further into the shadows. “That’s not what you want to ask me, Killer.”
It’s not.
Noah’s asked me what happened between Lilah and me more than once, but he never pushes it when I don’t answer him. He’s a good friend, but he’s her twin brother. That trumps good friend. He knew how close we were before they left for their first tour. And he knows we’re not now. And he’s never assumed I was some asshole who hurt her. I respect the hell out of that. So I ask him the same thing I always do. “How is she?”
“She’s stressed and tired and burned the hell out. We told the label we weren’t ready to go on tour last summer, but they own us for now, so we didn’t have a whole lot of say in it.”
“That it?” I push, not sure if I’m ready to hear the answer.
“She’s scared, man. Whether she’ll admit it to herself or not, she’s freaking out, and I’m worried. What happened... it was just... Fuck. It was too close.” He drags his hand down his face and looks away. “I’m worried about her.”
Lilah is the most fearless girl I’ve ever known. I hate to think of her being scared because she’ll never admit it. It’s not in her DNA.
“That why you’ve been staying there instead of at your place?”
“Yeah. But I’m going back to my place tomorrow.” He finishes his beer and pushes the empty toward Maddox, who’s stopped on the other side of the bar. “She figured out what I was doing and was pissed.”
Maddox drops three shot glasses in front of us, then takes a two-thousand-dollar bottle of bourbon off his shelf and holds it up.
“Fuck, Madman...” I nod because there’s no way I’m saying no to that bourbon, but I’m gonna be sweating this shit out tomorrow.
My friends are bad influences.
Does that work once you’re past twelve years old?
Sorry I sucked wind on the mats today. My friends pressured me.
Dad would laugh my ass out of Crucible after he kicked it across his cage.
“Why are you two assholes hiding in the corner?” He pours three shots but keeps them in front of himself while he waits for an answer.
“Just not in the mood to deal with everyone. Lilah and I are meeting with the label tomorrow, and I wanted to get the hell out of the house tonight.” He takes one of the shots from Maddox. “Not really looking for more than a good drink with old friends.”
“You remember when we drank your dad’s bourbon and filled it back up with water?” I snag another one of the glasses and laugh. “Dude, I thought your dad was going to kick our asses.”
“I was grounded for a month,” Noah groans, and I can’t stop picturing Lilah sitting on their couch in my Kroydon Hills wrestling hoodie while she laughed and warned us we were going to get caught.
She was right. She was always right.
Maddox looks at the two of us like we’re fucking crazy and picks up the remaining shot. “Told you it was a dumb move, and you idiots were going to get caught.”
“To being young and dumb,” I toast, and we all tap glasses and throw back the bourbon.
It goes down smooth like honey.
Madman pours another round and grins. “Don’t pussy out on me, Killer.”
“Fuck, man...” I pick up the glass and know I’m screwed.
We shoot another round, and if it’s possible, it goes down easier than the last.
I slam my empty glass on the counter and wait for Noah to look at me. “So what are you gonna do?”
“About what?” Maddox asks.
“Lilah,” I fill in.
“You worried about her security? I saw that fat-ass bodyguard at the gym the other day. Seriously. Where’d you find him, and why aren’t you using one of my dad’s guys?” Madman wipes the bar in front of him and blows off the hot redhead trying to get his attention. “Her dude doesn’t look like he’s going to keep her safe.”
“The label hired him,” is all Noah says.
“Fire him and hire someone good,” Maddox argues. “Fuck. From what I hear, she needs someone closer than she’s letting him get anyway.”
Noah’s head snaps up. “Who are you hearing that from?”
“I have my ways,” Maddox reassures him without answering the question and moves down the bar to help a group of college girls.
Typical Madman.
“We’ll see what the label says tomorrow. Lilah doesn’t even want one while she’s in town.” Noah’s voice is defeated. He sounds as tired as he says his sister is. “She’s pushing back every chance she can get. Won’t even let him in the house.”
“Fuck the label,” I bark. “You guys should be the ones to decide the best way to keep her safe.”
“I’m telling you, Killer. She doesn’t want any of it. She thinks she can still walk down Main Street by herself and be safe.”
“Goddamn. She’s always been so stubborn,” I growl and ignore the way he looks at me.
“You’re the only one she used to listen to. Maybe you should take a stab at it.”
“Ha... That’s funny. Lilah would rather stab me than listen to anything I say now.” Fuck if it isn’t true and if that doesn’t suck.
“Yeah... but you’d keep her safe.” It’s like a lightbulb just went off behind his eyes. “You could be there when I’m not. And... you could be inside the house. She won’t let Xander in.”
“What are you talking about? What’s a Xander?” I swear to God, he’s only had two beers and two shots, but he’s already losing me as his train of thought zigzags along.
“Xander is her bodyguard. He may not look like much, but he’s a perfect shot.”
Maddox hears the word shot a few steps down the bar and pops his head back in front of us. “Like with a gun?”
Guess now he’s intrigued.
Noah nods. “Ten out of ten.”
“Doubtful,” Madman muses. “Bet I could take him.”
“Lilah doesn’t want some guy whipping out a gun to protect her. That should be the last option.” My voice thunders a little more than it should, but she hates guns. Hates them. “There’s about ten million ways to protect someone before you have to reach for a weapon.”
Noah and Maddox seem to have a whole conversation without saying a word before they look at me with eerie fucking smiles that creep me the hell out. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop.”
“Dude.” Noah points at me with his bottle of beer. “You’re the answer.”
“The answer to what?” I think I know what he’s about to say, but it’s like I can’t steer away from the impending disaster.
“You... You can keep her safe. You can stay in the house. She can go to the gym with you during the day—” Noah seems thrilled with this idea as Maddox cuts him off.
“Yeah, and nobody would think anything of it if you were out with her. This guy everyone is so worried about thinks he’s in love with her. Show him he can’t have her. You could be her boyfriend. You know... friends to lovers. High-school sweethearts. All that shit,” Maddox adds, and I stare in shock.
“What?” I ask, and neither guy answers. Fuck. They don’t even look at me until I slam my palm against the bar. “What the fuck are you talking about? Who loves her? What guy?”
“How’d you know?” Noah asks Maddox grimly.
Madman lifts his chin, but his knuckles grow white against his grip on the bar. “I make it my business to know when my friends are threatened. I’m a goddamn Beneventi. You really surprised?”
Fuck. He’s pissed. And I’m not following.
“Someone want to clue me the hell in?” It’s a demand as much as a question.
“The bomb.” Noah’s elbows hit the bar, and he buries his head in his hands. “She had a stalker for about two months before that. One who likes to send her things . He thinks he loves her. He thinks she loves him. The note said everyone was keeping her away from him, and he didn’t want anyone in the way.”
My lungs forget how to pump air, and I choke on the weight of what he just said.
A stalker.
The last time someone I knew had a stalker, someone died.
Suddenly, I stop worrying about breathing and concentrate on not puking up my shots.
“That doesn’t make sense. If Lilah knows about this freak, why is she fighting so hard against having security?” But even as I say the words, the answer smacks me in the face as hard as Maddox’s fist when we’re sparring. “Shit.” I stare between Noah and Maddox. “She doesn’t know.”
It’s not a question.
I know I’m right before I look at Noah’s guilty-as-fuck face.
“How the hell could she not know?” I demand.
Noah blows out a long breath. “I’m not even sure how he knows. But I just figure I’m better off not asking.”
Yeah. I get that. We all just let Maddox do his thing and accept it with few questions.
“But Lilah. How could she not know?” My head throbs at the idea of them hiding this from her.
“The label kept it quiet. No one knows. I only know because I may have had a thing going with our tour manager. Seriously, man. I just found out when it all happened. I haven’t even told our parents yet.” Noah looks torn. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. But having someone there who could protect her...”
“She fucking hates me,” I groan and crack my neck. “What the hell am I supposed to do? Force my way into her home?”
I mean, I could. It could work.
Who’s gonna fuck with her with a world heavyweight champion fighter at her side?
What’s the alternative?
“She didn’t always hate you...” Noah reminds me, and Maddox laughs.
The asshole pushes another beer across the counter, and I shake my head, refusing it. This whole thing... whole night is a bad idea. “She sure hates you now though.”
I glare at Madman.
Yeah, she does.
He slams the lid of the beer against the bar and drinks it himself. “You know what they say about love and hate?”
“There’s a thin line,” I grumble.
“I was gonna say the sex is better with hate,” Madman grins, and Noah gags.
“No sex. I wasn’t whoring her out,” Noah blows out, and I shove him away.
“Don’t talk about whores and Lilah in the same fucking sentence, asshole,” I warn him, and his smug smile makes me wish I’d hit him harder.
Noah smacks my shoulder and throws a hundred down on the bar. “Sounds like we better get you home, Killer. You’ve got some convincing to do.”
“What?” Goddammit, this is a bad idea.
He adjusts his hat lower on his head and looks around. “You got a back door we can leave through, Madman?”
Maddox tips his head past the bar, and I stand, wondering if I actually just agreed to this crazy idea. I grab Noah’s shoulder and shove him toward the back hall and Maddox’s office. “You sure this is a good idea?”
I’m not sure what I want to hear more... yes or no.
One forces Lilah and me together again after years of distance, and the other one doesn’t.
Is it better to let what we were die in the past?
Then I think about everything Noah just laid out and realize it never did die. She might drive me batshit fucking crazy, but Lilah Ryan will always matter to me. Her safety. Her happiness. Her smile.
I’d still rain down war for her.