12. Killian
KILLIAN
T he twins have always done something big for their birthday. Noah used to bitch because it’s Valentine’s Day. His mom would get them each their own heart-shaped cake from Sweet Temptations, and Noah would act like he hated it, while Lilah looked at that cake every year like it was the most perfect thing in the world. He claims he never said a word to his mom because he didn’t want to change the tradition for Lilah, but I’m pretty sure he loved those cakes too. Maybe not as much as his sister. But still...
Guess we’ve all been wrapped around her little finger most of her life.
Case in point, I slide my wallet in my jeans and grab the small pink box wrapped in the red heart ribbon from the dresser. This present might just be one of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever had, but it’s time.
She’s the only person I’ve ever played nice for, and I’m about done playing.
I step out of my room, surprised to see Lilah’s door open. She’s spent the past two days avoiding me. Guess things got a little too real the other night, so she went back into hiding like the groundhog who saw his shadow. She’d knee me in the balls if she heard me compare her to a fucking groundhog, and that puts an extra swagger in my step.
She’s either gonna love this and maybe cry or she’s gonna hate it and throw it at me... again .
I knock on the open door and look around her empty room.
This door is never open.
Never.
“Birthday girl... you in here?” I don’t step inside her space. Not uninvited.
Yeah . . . nice is getting old.
“I’m coming,” she calls out in a breathy voice, and I’d like her to be saying those words, just like that, for a very different reason. My cock jumps, and I adjust myself before she walks out of her bathroom, barefoot, in the sexiest goddamned dress I’ve ever seen. It’s sheer and covered in tiny shimmery threads covering a nude slip that hugs every fucking curve. The sheer fabric barely covers her ass, and I’m thinking I’m going to be kicking more than one guy’s ass for looking at her tonight. At least it covers her up above her collarbone. If I’m going to be picturing her naked all fucking night, she’s doing me a solid and not teasing me with what I’m going to bet are the most perfect tits I’ve ever seen.
“Hey, St. James.” She snaps her fingers, then points from me to her eyes. “My eyes are up here.”
“Fucking princess,” I growl.
“I hate that nickname,” she murmurs but smiles the tiniest bit.
“No, you don’t,” I tell her and step into her space, holding the pink gift box out for her. “Happy birthday, Lilah.”
She wrinkles her brow as she stares at the box in my hand. “What’s that?”
“A birthday gift, Lilah. Want to take it from me?” Sarcasm flows right under my words, and her bright blue eyes stare, focused on my hand.
“I’m not sure,” she finally answers, and fuck, that hurts.
I take her hand in mine and gently turn it over, palm up, then place the small box on her open palm. “It’s not going to bite, princess.”
She opens her mouth to argue but stops and drags her teeth over her pouty bottom lip instead. “I guess it’s too small to be a snake.”
“Yeah. Little bit,” I laugh. “You don’t have to open it now.”
That seems to settle her as she studies it some more.
One perfectly painted white nail traces the ribbon. “Did you wrap this?”
“Brynn helped with the bow,” I admit. I don’t tell her my sister cornered me the other day and asked what I was getting Lilah for her birthday.
“It’s pretty.” She finally looks up, and damn... this woman. When she lets those defenses down, she takes incredible to a whole new level. “Thank you.”
“You going to open it?” I push, and her perfectly white teeth press into that lip again as she shakes her head.
Fuck me.
“Okay,” I lower my voice and lay off the teasing for once. “When you’re ready.”
Lilah places it gently on her vanity and turns to slip her feet into red-soled, sparkly shoes, giving me my first taste of the back of that damn dress. And ho-ly shit. There is no back. A single sparkly strand ties between her shoulders with the ends of the ribbon trailing down her bare spine. Her completely bare spine. All the way down to the dimples right above her heart-shaped ass where the fabric gathers and pools. Visions of snapping the string with my fucking teeth play out behind my eyes, followed by every filthy thing I want to do to her after.
Lilah turns back to me in a flourish, and my heart gets stuck in my throat. “You are so pretty, it hurts, princess.”
Her beautiful smile disappears as quickly as it appeared, and I feel like the biggest dick in the world.
“Yeah... well, hopefully someone who doesn’t get off on the pain will think so too. I’m going to have Xander drive me. Are you coming?”
I slide my hand to the small of her back, letting her soft, warm skin calm the rage I feel over hearing those words. “Those are fighting words, Lilah.”
She bristles under my touch. “It’s what we do best, isn’t it, Killer?”
I lean down and brush my lips over her ear, and my chest fucking roars when goose bumps dance down her skin. “According to you, we lie best, and we need to put on a hell of a show tonight, don’t we? I mean, if we want anyone outside our circle to think we’re dating, we’re going to have to act like we’re in love.”
Her long lashes flutter rapidly as she blinks up at me, trying to gain control over her composure. Good luck with that. Mine’s been shot for weeks now.
“Let them think we’re hate-fucking. The sex is probably better that way anyway.” She steps out of my grasp and looks over her shoulder. “I mean... it’s not like the thought never crossed my mind.”
What the fuck?
“You what?” I choke.
Her eyes trail over me, lingering over the obvious bulge in my jeans. “We both know I wanted you to fuck me back in the day.” She closes the distance between us and trails a finger down my chest. “I thought I loved you then.” Her hand stops on my belt, and I swear to God, I’m ready to bend her over right here, right fucking now. “But even if I know I hate you now, you’re still hot, St. James. I bet you’d look real nice with me on my knees in front of you.”
She spins away abruptly and walks out of the room.
“Car is leaving in five minutes, Killer. If you’re going to jerk off to that image, you better make it quick.”
Lilah
“ L ilah.” Xander clears his throat as he pulls to a stop at the red light down the street from West End. His eyes search me out through the rearview mirror. “Front or back door?”
With Killian next to me back here, I’m feeling a little more brave than I have recently. What the hell? Guess it’s now or never. “You ready to make our debut, champ?”
“Consider me ready and willing to meet all your needs, princess.”
Oh, he’s good.
That little show in my bedroom was more fun than I thought it would be, and I’d be totally lying to myself if I didn’t admit that I’ve thought about it a whole lot since he came back into my life. Not as much as I did in high school, but enough that hate-screwing him is what I see when I close my eyes at night and reach for my vibrator.
Why do the biggest assholes have to be the hottest men?
“Sounds like it’s gonna be the front door, Xander.”
Xander shakes his head and glares. “Do you have your panic button?”
I tug it from my purse and hold it up, then swap it out for a compact and touch up my lip gloss as the light switches to green, and Xander pulls us up to the line of people waiting for their chance to get inside Maddox’s bar.
They’re going to be waiting all night.
The bar is closed to the public tonight.
Noah and I rented it out so we could celebrate with our friends and family in private.
I’m pretty sure we’re going to be testing the city fire code with the maximum capacity anyway. Last I checked, Noah had invited half the damn town and half our damn tour. Dancers, singers, the band, the stagehands. He kind of missed the small party memo, but it’s his birthday too, so I went with it.
The Rover rolls to a stop, and Xander gets out of the car as Killian turns to me and frames my face. “Listen to me, princess... You listening?”
Damn, he’s so close.
I nod, and he tilts my head back to look up at him. “You want everyone in there to think we’re together, right? Part of the whole bodyguard, keep you safe thing?”
Why does his voice sound like that?
Like he’s swallowed glass?
I lick my lips. “If it still works for you, it’s what my label’s expecting. Iris should be here tonight. Zoe and Scottie too.”
“Is it what you want though?” His calloused thumb runs along my jaw, and I suddenly wonder if my thong was a serious misjudgment of choice on my part as I cross my legs and lean into him.
“Yes, St. James. It’s what I want. It’s what I need to get what I want, so it looks like you’re stuck with me.” What in the world was I thinking agreeing to this?
He leans his forehead against mine and inhales.
My lord, he smells good.
“What are you doing?” I breathe out as he breathes in, barely above a whisper.
“I’m going to have to touch you tonight, Lilah.” One hand slides down my back and grips my hips while the other digs into my hair. “Your man wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off you.”
“Really?” Holy shit, that sounded needy, even to my own ears.
He pulls me closer and lowers his face until his hot breath warms me, and his lips, lips women would pay a doctor to get but come completely naturally to Killian, nearly graze mine. “Yeah, princess.”
“I hate that nickname,” I whisper.
“No.” His lips graze mine. “You don’t.”
Oh my God. Killian drops his lips to my neck, and my entire world stands still.
The noise stops, and everyone else ceases to exist as his teeth scrape my skin, and I grip the front of his shirt for dear life.
Then all at once, I climb into his lap, and the door opens, and our bubble is broken.
Well, I guess that’s one way to introduce this fake relationship to the world.
“ H ow many of those things have you had?” Dillan eyes my pink cocktail as I sip.
“Oh... you mean my French Kiss?” I laugh.
“What’s a French Kiss?” She lifts it from my hand and sips for herself. “Ohh. That’s yummy.”
“Gin, St. Germain, Aperol, a squeeze of fresh lemon juice, and top it with sparkling rosé. It’s delicious, right? Maddox taught me how to make it earlier.” I take it back and finish it off. “And this is only my second. I don’t want to get drunk and be forced to look at the pictures splashed everywhere.”
The song changes, and a sultry Kings Of Leon song thrums through the speakers.
One of my backup dancers, Jeremy, moves between me and Dillan. He’s more than one of my dancers. He’s my friend, and I don’t use that term loosely. “Come on, girl.”
He takes my drink out of my hand and sits it on the bar, then takes my hand and pulls me with him. I go willingly.
Jeremy and I have been dancing on stage together for years. This man has had his hands all over my body... in a strictly working kind of way. I don’t have the equipment he wants, which is a shame for me because he moves like he knows exactly what you need. His husband, however, appreciates it very, very much. I’ve heard the stories. But that’s life on the road.
I’m pulled against him as the beat pulses, and his knee slides between my legs. “You want to tell me why that Adonis leaning against the bar looks like he wants to eviscerate me, Lilah? Did you go and get yourself a man? One who looks like a Hemsworth?”
“Sort of...” I’m not sure how to answer that, so I go vague. It feels safe.
I drape my arm over his shoulder, and Jeremy moves his hand down my back.
“Oh shit. Is he going to kick my ass, Lilah? Cause honey, this body wasn’t made for fighting.” Jeremy loves to stir shit up, though, so instead of moving his hand, he tightens his hold.
Why does this give me an idea?
I lean into Jeremy. “Does he look jealous?”
“No, baby girl. He looks murderous. Jealous men are insecure. This one looks like he’s ready to kill me to prove a point to everyone in this room. I don’t think insecure is in his vocabulary.”
He spins me around and slides his hands from my hips down my thighs as my dress lifts a little too high, and oh yeah... Killian’s eyes lock in on mine like a heat-seeking missile, and it’s fucking hot. His fists are clenched, knuckles white, and I doubt he has any idea what the hell Rome is telling him right now.
Jeremy slides my hair behind my shoulder and whispers in my ear, “How far are you planning on taking this?”
Before I get a chance to answer, his hand slides under the hem of my dress, and Killian pushes off the bar.
“Oh, fuck no, baby girl. I’m out of here. Go make up with your man.” He lowers his voice as Killian crosses the room. “Suck his dick. We men like that. Don’t say I didn’t give you something for your birthday.” A quick kiss to the cheek, and he’s gone.
Once he’s in front of me, I grab Killian’s hands. “Dance with me, St. James.”
Not needing to be told twice, one of his big arms wraps around my back and holds me close. So similar yet completely different from Jeremy. “Who was that?”
“Why, champ? You jealous?” Please let him say yes.
Oh shit. I’ll need to psychoanalyze that thought tomorrow.
“Should I be?” Ugh. Of course that’s his answer. It tells me nothing.
“Well.” I wrap both arms around his neck and inhale that fresh ocean scent. Soap and salt and sea and all Killian for as long as I can remember. “Jealous implies ownership. You want something someone else has. First, no one has me to own, and second, you don’t want me. You’ve demonstrated that before. So, I’d say no, you’ve got nothing to be jealous of.”
“The fuck, Lilah?” He doesn’t sound mad. No... he sounds hurt. “Can’t you let that go? Just for tonight? It was a fucking decade ago. We were kids, and there is nothing about that weekend that I wouldn’t change if I could... Trust me.”
I lean my head on his chest and hide my eyes. “What would you say if I told you I could try. Just for tonight. Try to forget. To...”
He lifts my chin with his finger. “To not hate me for one night for something that happened before we were old enough to understand the consequences?”
“Yes.” There are so many things I want to say, but that’s the only thing I manage.
His big hand wraps around my neck as he leans down and I press up.
The kiss is strong and soft and sexy and sweet. It’s mind-blowing and heart-stopping.
Before I know it, my feet are no longer touching the ground, and I’m carried off the floor. “Killian...” I gasp and pull my mouth back. “What are you doing?”
“Taking you home. I’ve wanted that kiss for years, and I’m not wasting my one night here.”
“Uh-uh, champ. It’s my birthday party. I can’t leave yet.” I don’t care that everyone is staring. I don’t care that I love this and hate it equally in measure. I only care that he finally, finally , kissed me.
“Fine.” He sits me on top of the bar and moves between my legs. “But you do not move from my side all night.”
“St. James...” I dig my fingers in his hair and ignore the catcalls coming from our friends. “I agreed to not hate you for one night. I never agreed to give up my control.”
“You don’t have to give up anything, princess. It’s your choice. You can dance with every man here. Just be prepared for me to beat the fucking shit out of any man who looks at you. And if he fucking touches you, he’s going to be pissing blood into a bag for a week. Your choice.”
“Hey, Lilah?” Only Maddox Beneventi would have the balls to tap my shoulder from behind the bar right now in the middle of this. Killian growls, actually growls, and it’s fucking hot. “You ready for another French Kiss?”
“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Killian barks, and Madman laughs.
“Chill out, cousin.”
I spin around on the shiny bar and hop down behind it, putting it between Killian and me. “Yeah, chill out, champ. It’s a drink Maddox taught me how to make. And yes, I’d love another.”
“Don’t get drunk, Lilah,” Killian warns me.
Oh. Hell. No.
“Hey Maddox?” I call out while I stare right at Killian. “Want to do a shot with me?”
“You’re the birthday girl, Tink. How about I make a pink one up just for you.”
“Lilah—”
Oh, this is going to be fun.