Chapter 21
Theo
I shouldn’t have done that.
The thought kept running through my mind as I looked at Penelope sitting across from me. I shouldn’t have kissed her.
I could have accomplished the same thing without the kiss. All I’d needed to do was touch her shoulder and tell Sean he was in my seat. That would have been enough to get the message across.
But no. I’d leaned down, and a second later, I was kissing her.
I could still feel her lips. Still taste her. And I was hard as steel thinking about what it would be like to taste more of her. To devour that mouth, and the rest of her along with it.
Fuck.
At least she wasn’t mad at me for interfering.
She hadn’t touched the drink Sean had bought her, which was weirdly gratifying. I wanted to get rid of the last remnants of him, so I grabbed his empty bottle and reached for hers.
“Do you want that, or…?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I’m not going to drink it.”
“Good.” I stood and picked up her cider. Maybe staying for a drink—on me, not the douchebag—would be a good idea. I didn’t trust myself to be alone with her yet. “I was thinking about getting a drink. Do you want something?”
“Sure, that sounds nice.”
“One of these?” I lifted the cider.
Wrinkling her nose, she adjusted her glasses. “I think he ruined that flavor for me. Maybe just a regular cider.”
“On it.”
I took the bottles to the bar and waited while Rocco served another customer. Penelope seemed restless. She kept messing with her hair and glasses.
“Be right with you, Theo,” Rocco said.
Glancing at him, I tipped my chin, and he disappeared into the back.
When I looked at Penelope again, she was touching her lips with her fingertips. Inadvertently, my tongue darted out and I licked my lips, remembering the way she’d felt. The way her mouth had tasted.
Our eyes met and we both froze. Looking away, she dropped her hand into her lap. I pressed my lips together, as if I could pretend I hadn’t been thinking about how it had felt to kiss her.
Damn it. What had I done? It was fine. I could fix this.
Rocco came out and I ordered a beer and a cider. He handed me the bottles and I paid, then took them to our table.
Just friends, Theo. We’re just friends.
I sat and we both took a drink. We needed something to talk about—other than Sean. Or the fact that her mouth felt like—
“How’s your grandma?” I asked, cutting off my own thoughts.
“She’s fine. She likes to feed the squirrels, so we did that. Then had dinner. Luckily, the food there is good.”
“How long has she lived there?”
“About five years. The nice thing is, it was her choice. She can still live independently, but she doesn’t have to cook unless she wants to. There’s medical help if she needs it. And activities to keep her busy.”
“It’s nice that you can visit her so often. I’m sure she appreciates that.”
“Yeah, we only have each other. It was one of the reasons I wanted to move to Tilikum. I was in Pinecrest before, which isn’t far, but it’s nice to be able to pop over more easily.”
“Sucks that you aren’t closer with the rest of your family. Especially your parents. Do you have any contact with them?”
“A little. I usually get a call on my birthday and around the holidays. That’s about it.”
I shook my head. “Damn. Sorry for bringing up a crappy subject.”
“No, it’s okay. The good part about all of it was Grandma.
My grandpa passed when I was a teenager, so I moved in with her when I was in college.
It worked out great for both of us. After that, I got a teaching job in Wenatchee.
That wasn’t bad. I could still visit. But it made me realize I wanted to settle down here, so I could be as close to her as possible. ”
I nodded along as she talked. I certainly understood being close to your family. I was still struggling with the reality of leaving mine.
But another thought occurred to me. Penelope probably wouldn’t leave Tilikum.
Maybe it would be an option once her grandma had passed on. But then again, maybe not. She’d worked hard and been patient for a long time before finally getting her job at Tilikum High School. This place meant something to her, as did being close to her grandma.
Not that I was thinking about asking her to come to South Carolina with me. That would have been a girlfriend conversation, not a friend conversation. Not even a work-besties-turned-roommates conversation.
But the realization that it wouldn’t be an option, no matter what, kind of hurt.
Which was stupid. Just because I’d fake kissed her didn’t mean anything had changed. And it definitely didn’t mean we were more than friends.
“It’s nice that you’re so close with your family,” she said. “I see them at the games, and it seems like you spend a lot of time with them.”
“I think my parents invite me over a lot because they assume I’m lonely.”
“Because you’re single?”
I nodded. “Probably.”
“Can I ask you a weird question?”
I took a drink. “Sure.”
“Now I regret saying that. Never mind. I don’t need to ask you anything.”
“Well, now you have to ask me. What is it?”
“No, I’ll just make it awkward.”
“You’re not going to make it awkward. What do you want to know? I’ll tell you anything.”
“I was just wondering.” She paused, fidgeting with her bottle. “Is there a reason you don’t date? I’m not judging you for being single. I’m just curious. You’re such a great guy, it’s almost impossible to imagine you not getting snatched up by some lucky girl. See? Awkward.”
Had she just called me a great guy? A sense of warmth spread through my chest.
“That’s not awkward. I get asked that a lot, actually. Mostly by my family. I, um…” I trailed off, trying to decide how much to say. “It’s just what’s best for me, I guess.”
“So it wasn’t because something happened? You just like being single?”
“Not exactly.” My love life wasn’t my favorite topic, but I had a strange desire to tell her.
“I was dating a girl in college. We met my senior year and stayed together after I graduated and started playing pro ball. I thought everything was great. She was getting into sports journalism and got a great job working for one of the networks. I was living my dream, playing pro football. It was like we had it all. I actually asked her to marry me.”
“Did you? I didn’t realize you’d been engaged.”
“It didn’t last very long. A few weeks after I gave her the ring, I was injured in a game. It was clear pretty quickly that it was a career-ender. Neck and spine injuries are no joke.”
“But…” she hesitated. “What did that have to do with your engagement?”
“It was too much for her. The injury, the rehab, the possibility that I’d have ongoing mobility challenges. She called it off.”
She huffed. “Are you kidding me? She broke up with you when you were severely injured?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“That’s…” She scrunched her nose. “That’s so awful. How could she do that?”
I appreciated that she was angry on my behalf, but I had to fight back a grin. She was cute when she was mad.
“I’m glad it happened. She wasn’t the person I thought she was.”
“Clearly not.” Her voice softened. “So, that was it? You decided to stay single?”
“No. My recovery took a while, and then I went back to school to get my masters. After that, I decided to try dating again. Eventually, I met someone and we hit it off. We dated for a while, and things were getting serious. That was when my migraines got bad.”
“Did you get them right after you were injured, or did it take that long for them to start?”
“I had mild ones for a while. I didn’t even know they were migraines.
But then they started getting really bad.
One took me out for about four days, and I had no idea what it was.
They were debilitating. Eventually, my doctor and I found ways to get them under control, but for a while, my quality of life was not great. ”
“So, you were getting serious with someone and the migraines got bad. Are you about to tell me she did what your other ex did? You had medical issues that were too much for her and she bailed?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what happened.” I huffed out a resigned laugh and shook my head. “She couldn’t imagine herself coping with my migraines for the rest of her life.”
Her brow furrowed. “That’s not right. If you love someone, you don’t leave when things get hard. You stay by their side no matter what.”
“I guess she didn’t love me.” I shrugged. “Anyway, that was it. I decided I was done. I was teaching and coaching, and that was fulfilling enough.”
“I can’t say I blame you.”
Silence settled between us as we finished our drinks. But it wasn’t uncomfortable. It felt natural to sit with her, quietly enjoying a beer. Sharing things I didn’t usually share with anyone.
After a while, I broke the silence. “You ready to go, or do you want to hang out here?”
“I’m ready to go. The alarm will go off all too early tomorrow.”
“Yeah, it will.”
We stood, and as she came around the table, she dropped her purse. We both bent to grab it, and I found myself within inches of her face. Again.
Don’t kiss her again, Theo. Don’t do it.
I picked up her purse and straightened, handing it to her. Her cheeks flushed with a hint of pink as she took it.
Close call.
We went outside and I walked her to her car. “I’ll see you at home,” she said.
“Yeah. See you at home.”
I backed up a few steps while she got in and watched her pull out of her space and drive away.
See you at home.
That phrase sent a sense of warmth spreading through my chest.
There was a very uncomfortable truth brewing inside me—something I kept trying to deny. I liked Penelope. A lot.
And not as a friend.