Chapter 23
Theo
The sound of a door shutting roused me from sleep. I opened my eyes, expecting to find Pen getting back into bed with me. Hadn’t she just gotten up to use the bathroom? But the bed was empty.
She’d gone back to her room.
I let out a long breath. That was probably for the best.
I’d gone to bed telling myself I wasn’t going to kiss her again. I needed to let it go. But the memory of her lips had tortured me, keeping me from getting any sleep.
The last thing I’d expected when I’d gotten up in the middle of the night to get some water was running into her in the hallway.
I’d been weak. She’d been too much to resist. But fuck, it had been amazing.
The tension in my neck told me I needed to succumb to sleep and get some rest, otherwise I risked a migraine. I didn’t know what the morning would bring, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it then. I’d just have to hope I hadn’t ruined everything.
And that I could live with the knowledge of what it felt like when I was buried deep inside Penelope without giving in to temptation again.
We all have those days when the alarm is especially jarring, and that Monday morning was one of them. It felt like I’d only just closed my eyes when the relentless beeping ripped me from sleep.
Waking up alone left me disappointed all over again. What would it have been like to open my eyes to the sight of her? To pull her against me and enjoy a few minutes of contact before we started our day?
Groaning, I hit the alarm to shut it up and stretched my neck a little in both directions. Vision was normal, no growing tension. No sign of a migraine. That was good.
I got up and did my best not to think about the previous night as I got ready for school. It was there—the memory of her body, her mouth, her hair fanned out over my sheets. But maybe if I ignored it long enough, it would stop torturing me.
Or maybe I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.
Showered and dressed, I hesitated in front of my bedroom door, a sense of dread knotting my stomach. She was up. I could hear her moving around. Was it going to be awkward? Had I crossed a line and ruined our friendship?
Time to face her, for better or worse.
I found her in the kitchen with all her meal-prep containers spread out in two rows on the counter. She cast a quick glance over her shoulder as I walked in, then turned back to what she was doing.
“Morning,” I said.
“Morning.”
“I thought you finished those last night,” I said.
“Me too, but I forgot the salsa.” She dropped a dollop into one of the containers. “I’m so glad I realized it in time. They would have been so bland.”
I wanted to move in close and wrap my arms around her. Lean in and kiss her neck, inhaling her scent. But I just watched her, unable to move, as if my feet were rooted to the floor.
She put one more scoop of salsa into a container, then started snapping the lids on. Leaving two on the counter, she stacked the rest and put them back in the fridge.
“There, all fixed.” She put the salsa away and shut the refrigerator door, then grabbed one of the containers and held it out to me. “This one’s for you.”
For the first time since I’d walked into the kitchen, she really looked at me. Granted, she was only waiting for me to take my lunch. But I realized with a sense of relief that everything seemed normal.
Did that mean we were okay? She hadn’t woken up with regrets?
I took the container. “Thanks.”
She smiled and I didn’t miss the hint of pink in her cheeks. “You’re welcome.”
“Hey, Pen.” I hesitated. “We’re good, right?”
“Oh, yeah. Of course.”
“You sure?”
She rubbed her lips together, making me wonder if she was remembering the feel of my mouth on hers. “Yeah, I’m sure. We’re fine. I mean, I’m fine. Are you fine?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Okay, good.”
I nodded. It was good. Last night had happened, and it had been fucking amazing. And it hadn’t changed anything. We were all right.
But as the day progressed, I realized I wasn’t.
When I’d told her I was fine, I’d meant it—I hadn’t been lying. Or maybe I’d just wanted it to be true. But the reality was, I was kind of a mess.
My mind wandered as I drove to school, thinking about Pen.
I was distracted in my classes, losing track of what I was supposed to be teaching.
My Algebra One students got half a lecture on geometry before I realized I was using the wrong material.
And I passed out a quiz in Algebra Two they weren’t supposed to take for another week.
Lunch rolled around and when I walked into the teachers’ lounge, there she was. My eyes darted around the room, and I wondered if everyone knew. Could they tell? Did we look different? How could they not see it? How could they not realize that the world would never be the same?
Probably because it was just my world she’d rocked.
She’d already warmed up my lunch for me. She did that every day. Why did she have to be so fucking good? So sweet and generous and such a good friend?
I took the seat next to her. “Thanks for lunch. This looks great.”
“You’re welcome.”
The room was half full of our coworkers, so I couldn’t exactly ask if she’d spent her morning distracted by the memory of mind-blowing sex. And even if we’d been alone, what could I say?
So Pen, is it just me, or are you sucking at your job because you can’t stop thinking about last night?
Yeah, no. Wasn’t going there.
So, we chatted about normal stuff. Things going on with our students, whether it might rain for the game on Friday. Even a bit about Morris, although we were careful to keep it vague.
When it was time to get back to our classrooms, we both reached for my lunch container at the same time. The brush of our hands sent a jolt of electricity running through me. Our eyes met, and by her intake of breath, I knew she’d felt it, too.
The urge to kiss her was so overwhelming, I almost did, right there in the teachers’ lounge.
Fortunately, I kept my head. That would have started a firestorm of gossip, which was the last thing either of us needed.
But was it my imagination, or did she hesitate before moving her hand, letting hers linger against mine for a moment?
I grabbed our dishes and rinsed them out in the sink. She was still there when I finished, so we walked upstairs together. I couldn’t understand why I was struggling so much. Sleeping with her once shouldn’t have been enough to turn everything upside down.
But it had. And I had no idea what to do about it.
There were too many kids hanging out around the lockers for me to do anything other than hold my hand out for a fist bump when we got to my classroom. She bumped her fist against mine, then stumbled a little as she started down the hall.
“Oops,” she said, letting out a nervous laugh. She brushed her hair off her face, shifting her glasses a little, and had to stop to readjust them. Rolling her eyes and shaking her head slightly, she turned and walked away.
My eyes followed her until she disappeared into her classroom, then I reluctantly turned and did the same.
Somehow, I managed to make it through the rest of the day, and by the time I was on the field for practice, I was somewhat composed.
Football was a much better distraction than teaching math.
The team was looking good, still working hard, and morale was high.
Exactly what any coach would want heading into the playoffs.
By the time I left to go home, I was more than half convinced that I actually was fine. Something about barking at teenage football players in the cold air had cleared my head. Sure, I’d slept with Penelope, but it didn’t have to be a big deal. We were adults. We’d both wanted it. So why not?
Feeling lighter than I had all day, I pulled into the driveway. The sight of her car made me crack a smile, but I firmly ignored the way the reminder of her presence tugged at my chest.
Inside, I found her curled up in the corner of the couch with a book and one of my mom’s throw blankets over her lap. She looked up at me and smiled.
The urge to kiss her—to pull off all her clothes and devour her—hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted her. I wanted her so bad, I could already taste her.
But she was my best friend. I couldn’t do that to her. Not unless I could give her everything.
And that, I couldn’t do.