Chapter 51 Asha
ASHA
“Uh-oh,” I said.
“Who’s that?” asked Beth, her eyes on Finn as he approached.
“My bodyguard.”
“You have a bodyguard?”
“Two, actually.” I picked up my tequila shot and a wedge of lime. “Haven’t you heard? I’m the coddled wife of a billionaire now.” I probably shouldn’t have said that so loudly with our new guests. It had to be the alcohol talking.
“Ma’am,” Finn said, stopping beside our table. “You need to come with me.”
“Why?”
“Because your husband would like for you to return home.”
“No. Tell him I’ll be back later.”
“Ma’am, I must insist.”
“Chill, Finn. We’re just having a drink.” I tipped back the shot and gave him a look that dared him to try me. He’d have to climb over the table to pluck me out of this booth. I was in no mood to appease Rook by being his obedient little Mob wife tonight.
Finn clasped his hands and shifted on his feet like he’d rather be anywhere else. “Mr. O’Connell is quite…vexed.”
“Is he?” I bit into the lime wedge, tossed it into my empty shot glass, and smacked my lips. “Good.”
His jaw tightened. “When he gets that way, things tend to become problematic.”
“Problematic for whom?”
He scanned the room, and his voice dropped. “For everyone.”
“I’m feeling pretty vexed myself. You want to know what happens when I get that way?”
Finn blinked.
I leaned forward so he wouldn’t miss my next words. “Husbands get stabbed.”
Daisy choked on her drink. Beth stared as if I’d just sprouted horns. I wasn’t sure if the Belarusians understood any of it. Did they even speak English?
“I’m sorry if this costs you your job, Finn. I really am. But this is all his fault.”
Finn shook his head and retreated to the bar. Liam barked something at him, but Finn only shrugged.
Beth placed a hand on my arm. “Do you want to get out of here so we can talk?”
“No. I’d rather forget about my problems and have fun tonight.” I forced a smile. “I’m okay. Promise. I told you he’s a jerk.”
Conversations surrounded me, mostly Daisy regaling our Belarusian pals with wild stories from her college days, but I was too agitated to join in. So much for trying to have fun. I sipped the fresh cosmo before me, hoping to shake my funk.
The last time I’d had drinks with the girls was when I’d met Rook. Had that really only been two weeks ago? Back then, my biggest problem had been a string of ego-bruising dating failures. If I’d known what breaking my dry spell would lead to, I’d have sworn off hookups, too.
Beth nudged my elbow. “Don’t look now, but your man is here. I think he’s jealous.”
I followed her gaze and froze.
Motherfucker.
With his black shirt sleeves rolled to the elbow and tattoos curling over his forearms and hands, Rook lounged in a booth across the room.
Aidan sat beside him, saying something, but Rook didn’t take his eyes off me.
The slow, unblinking drag of his gaze felt like a hand around my throat, equal parts threat and caress.
Beth was right. He looked jealous. And dangerous. And hot as sin.
Heat pulsed low in my belly. My heart kicked like it’d been hit with a shot of adrenaline. Damn Rook for making me react that way when I was furious at him.
“Christ, girl. Breathe,” Beth hissed.
“I am breathing.” I wasn’t. My medulla oblongata had short-circuited entirely under the weight of Rook’s stare.
I drew in a lungful of air just as he slowly raised one hand and crooked his finger, beckoning me.
I took a long sip of my cosmo to ease my parched throat.
“What are you going to do?” Beth asked.
Run. Leave the country. “I don’t know.”
“Are you worried he’ll hurt you?”
“No. He won’t hurt me. Can’t say that anyone at this table with a dick is safe, though.”
Beth smirked. “I’m pretty sure these guys can take care of themselves. That one”—she gestured to Drax—“looks like he could tear a grizzly’s head clean off.”
“Lovely visual. Thanks.”
“Please.” She scoffed. “You read murder-scene reports as bedtime stories.”
Touché.
“You fight with husband?” Drax asked in a thick Slavic accent.
“Something like that.” I cut a glance toward Rook, who still watched me like a predator sighting prey. “I don’t want to talk about him.”
And if Rook even thought about busting up my night with the girls, he could forget it. Determined to show the gangster he couldn’t bring me to heel, I gave Drax my attention. “Tell me something about you, big guy. What do you do for fun in Belarus?”
He grunted. “I like going into forest with ax to cut down big tree. Then I make wood carving.”
“No shit?”
“Yes, shit.” He nodded. “Sometimes, I go hunting in same forest and not come home for one month.”
“Mm. Bet you smell fantastic after that.”
He frowned. “No, strange woman. My smell turn very bad.”
I guessed sarcasm got lost in translation. Or maybe Drax had left his sense of humor behind in a Belarusian forest.
He looked me up and down. “I like woman with red hair.”
“Let me guess. You heard we’re fiery.”
“Yes, some say this. But my people have folklore that red-haired woman is…what you call it…magic. Like witch.”
I picked up my martini glass. “You know what, Kirill? You might be onto something there. I have this one magic trick where I make men disappear—and don’t let the haters tell you I've been ghosted. All it takes is for me to show a little interest and then, poof.” I made an exploding gesture.
“It’s like they’ve vanished off the face of the earth.
With the unfortunate exception of the one guy I wish would leave me alone. ”
I brought the glass to my lips and—
No.
Oh, hell no.
I was an idiot. A grade A dumbass for not seeing this sooner.
How had I never connected my dating drought to Rook’s lurking in the shadows?
He’d found out I was Inferno a year ago. That was when the back-to-back ghostings had started.
I must’ve been too distracted with the whole Guess what? You’re married to a mobster shit show to consider how Rook might’ve been ruining my life long before our one-night stand.
The white-hot rage coursing through me drowned out the sounds of the bar. I looked at Husband dearest. He was too busy giving Drax a murderous scowl to notice the one I aimed at him.
All those times I’d felt like a fool, sitting in bars on my own, my messages left on Read, waiting for someone who’d never shown up. The hollow, sinking feeling of being rejected again.
The epic dry spell hadn’t been my fault at all. It was just another red flag to sew onto Rook’s mile-long banner.
I downed the last of my cosmo and shoved Drax’s shoulder. “Out of the way.” But he was deep in conversation with his buddy in their native tongue and didn’t care about the small, annoying woman swatting at his arm.
This was taking too long, so I climbed onto the table on all fours.
“Asha!” Beth shrieked. “What are you doing?”
Everyone snatched up their drinks as I crawled my way to the aisle. “I’m going to pick a fight with my soon-to-be-deceased husband.”
“Yes, girlfriend!” Daisy’s arms shot into the air. “Go show Bad Sugar Daddy who’s boss.”
I’d show him, all right. I’d wipe that smug, self-righteous scowl off his stupidly good-looking face.
Back on two feet, I straightened my dress and charged for Rook’s booth. Bad idea to move so fast in heels. My ankle buckled, and I almost fell on my ass. Luckily, I saved myself—not so much my dignity—and kept moving.
When I reached Rook’s table, he removed a small earpiece and stashed it in a pocket. Then he had the audacity to lean back in his seat, casual as anything. “Hello, pet.”
I sneered. “Don’t Hello, pet me.”
Aidan laughed. “Oh man. The pair of you makes so much sense now.”
We both shot him an unimpressed glare, and I locked mine back on Rook. “Before we met, did you interfere in my love life?”
A muscle beneath his eye twitched. “You didn’t have a love life before we met.”
I slammed both hands on the table. “That’s what I’m talking about. Did you sabotage my dates?”
He lowered his chin. “You already know the answer to that.”
I moved closer and dropped my voice. “What did you do to them?”
“Relax. They’re still breathing. But I told them they wouldn’t be if they went on a date with you. Or contacted you in any way. Or didn’t disappear from your life completely.”
The cockblocking son of a bitch.
“I’ve been stood up without so much as a text, utterly humiliated again and again, and left wondering what the hell is wrong with me that makes me so undatable.
” I couldn’t stop the quaver in my voice or the moisture pooling in my eyes.
“Was that your plan all along? Destroy my self-worth so that when you swept in, I’d be grateful? ”
Rook glanced at Aidan. “Give us a minute.”
His cousin nodded and slid out of the booth.
“Sit.” Rook gestured to the empty seat.
“No.” I clenched my hands into fists.
“I wasn’t asking.”
“I don’t care. I’m done with you ordering me around, I’m done with your lies, and I’m done with you fucking up my life. On top of everything you’ve put me through, I find out you’re the reason no man has come near me for the last year. Twelve months, Rook. How dare you?”
My hands trembled as rage splintered into exhaustion.
I was tired of Rook’s power plays. Tired of being his puppet and feeling like I didn’t have a choice in anything.
I just wanted my simple life back. The podcast. My tiny apartment. Takeout on Sunday nights as a treat. That was all I needed.
I couldn’t take any more of this.
Two fat tears spilled down my cheeks. “Fuck.” I wiped them away. “You’ve broken me. Are you happy?”
Something shifted in his expression. Concern? Fear?
It didn’t matter. It was too late to show he cared.
Rook reached for my hand. “No. Wildfire. I never wanted to—”
I snatched it back. “Stay away from me.”
I turned to leave, my vision blurring as I held back a sob. God, I was spiraling. Heart racing, breaths shallow.
When I was halfway back to the table, Rook caught my elbow, spun me, and hauled me against his chest. One palm splayed low on my spine; the other slid to the nape of my neck, his grip possessive and inescapable.
“Let me go.” I shoved at him, but it was like trying to move a wall.
“That’s the one thing I can’t do, love.” He held my stare, his blue eyes wild but clear. “Yes, I hacked your dating apps. Yes, I warned those dickheads I’d end them if they came near you. I don’t regret it, and I’d do it again, because they weren’t good enough for you.”
My chest heaved. “And I suppose you think you are.”
“No.” His admission was sharp. “You deserve better than me, but I’ll burn this city to the ground before I let anyone else have you. Not while I’m breathing. Not while I can still fight for you.”
“There’s nothing to fight for.” I shook my head. “It’s too late. You had me, Rook. You had me, and you blew it.”
He leaned low so his forehead hovered an inch from mine.
“I’m sorry for not telling you about Sierra.
I was terrified, Asha. Terrified that if you got involved, something would happen to you.
One by one, my family’s been taken from me.
Everything I love, I lose, and I can’t”—his voice cracked—“I can’t lose you, too. ”
Hearing that rough edge in his tone, seeing the way his eyes went glassy like he was reliving every loss all over again, made something inside me twist.
I hated that part of me still cared. Hated that I could understand why he clung so tight, even when it suffocated me. This was a man who’d buried too many people, and he’d sooner chain me to him than risk digging another grave.
But I couldn’t live that way.
“I’m sorry for lying to you and for being a menace.
I’m sorry that I’ve held on to you too tight.
But you…you’re precious to me in ways I can’t even put into words.
Every time I look at you, my chest aches.
When you’re not near, it feels as if I’m missing a limb.
You make me feel as though I still have a heart, that maybe I still have a soul.
I thought those things died with Niall, but you’ve proven me wrong.
I can’t go back to the man I was before you. ”
I’d never imagined Rook saying sorry, certainly not with such sincerity. He’d been nothing but control and steel since the day we’d met, yet here he was, laying his heart bare in the middle of a crowded bar.
He wasn’t a monster. He was a man gutted by grief. It didn’t erase the manipulation or the lies, but when I saw Rook’s actions through his eyes, they made a little more sense.
His fingers flexed at my neck, clasping me as if I might vanish. “Christ almighty, woman. Can’t you see I’m in love with you? Have been for longer than you realize. Before I even admitted it to myself.”
The room tilted. My head spun under the weight of his words, my pulse a frantic drumbeat in my ears.
Rook was in love with me?
I could imagine a hundred things he might say to keep me from walking—threats, demands, coercion—but never this.
He meant it, too.
I didn’t know whether to laugh in disbelief, cry at the rawness in his voice, or tell him to go to hell for making me feel anything at all.
My head screamed not to forgive him, but my traitorous heart, it wanted me to throw my arms around him and never let go.
I shook my head. “Rook. I—”
“Shh.” He pressed a finger to my lips, eyes fierce. “I know you don’t feel the same way. Not yet. But maybe one day you will. Please, Asha, don’t give up on me. All I’m asking for is another chance.”
Rook waited for me to say something. And I wanted to, but I couldn’t organize my thoughts. It was all so overwhelming. So confusing.
I swallowed thickly. My energy waned. I felt lightheaded and clammy all over.
“Why is it so hot in here?” My vision swam. “I feel weird.”
His head tilted, worry furrowing his brow as he pressed the back of his hand to my forehead. “You’re white as a sheet. How many drinks have you had?”
“Um. Three maybe? And a shot. Those guys bought us a round.” My legs buckled, and Rook held me up.
He glanced over my shoulder, then back to me. “Who are they?”
“Don’t know. They’re from…can’t remember. Starts with a B.” I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. “Something’s wrong.”
“I think your drink was spiked. I’m going to help you, okay? But we need to act fast.”
After that, everything blurred. Rook hustled me away while barking orders. Someone, maybe Finn, shoved people aside and cleared our path. Then I was bent over a toilet, Rook holding my hair back.
“I’m sorry to do this, love.” Fingers went down my throat, and I heaved. Tears stung my eyes as the alcohol came up. Rook did it again and again until nothing more would.
“I’m getting you out of here.” He scooped me up.
My head lolled against his shoulder. I was as weak as a newborn lamb. Mustering what strength I had left, I fisted his shirt. “Daisy. Beth. Help them.”
“Stay with me, Asha.” Rook’s voice cut through the fog. A tap on my cheek. “Come on, love. Keep your eyes open for me.”
Then everything went black.