13. Luca
I have no idea what to think of this pack. I know that they’re my scent matches, how I reacted to their pheromones makes that very clear. But that doesn’t mean I feel comfortable or easy around them.
Did I go from a bad situation to an even worse one?
They act like they care, about the kids, about me, about my family, but that could just as easily be an act.
They’re killers. All of them.
They kill in a way that’s both innate and well-trained, like this is just another day for them, nothing special. They don’t seem to care about the people who die at their hands at all.
Will I be next?
When I stop being useful to them, will they simply get rid of me?
I don’t know and that’s making me anxious all over again.
Eli and the man in charge, Mathew, are standing next to the van, ordering people around, making sure the garage is empty before we let the kids out. We’re hoping that they’ll be less scared when they’re not surrounded by adults all decked out in gear, weapons in full view and easy reach.
Mathew knocks on my window and I lower it. He looks to the back, at the kids. “Do they need beds or are they more comfortable in a nest? Just for the night. We’ll come up with a better solution in the morning.”
No matter how close Mathew is, I can’t catch any of his pheromones. Most of the others who are all geared up also seem to have really weak pheromones, so it’s probably something they do to hide them. But even then, his seem to be particularly absent, for a lack of a better description. I’m not getting weak pheromones from him, I’m getting no pheromones from him.
After all the intense pheromones from earlier, this is a welcome change, but it also feels strange. He’s part of the pack, the same pack I belong to, so to not know what he smells like feels wrong in a way.
He asked me something. Right. I should reply.
“It’s better to give them a nest. Being close together will make them feel safer.” So many things have happened tonight that anything that can calm them down and make them feel safe is important.
Their evening started when they were round up from a handful of the local Hearts locations and I was put in charge of them. Some of the kids I’d seen around a few times, but most of them I had no clue who they were. It was already past their bedtime, so emotions were running high and they were very stressed about all the sudden changes.
The streets they had to walk through were unfamiliar. The guards were cruel. It was late. All things that made them even more anxious.
Then, when we finally reached the warehouse and would be able to rest for a little while, Vera suddenly barged in —which they luckily didn’t have to see— and then they were moved to a new place by a totally different group of people.
They’ve had a long and exhausting night.
Mathew looks to Eli. “Put them in the room next to ours. Get as much bedding as you can find so they can choose what they need when they go to sleep.” This seems to surprise Eli, but he simply nods. “Also, if you could get them something to eat and drink. That should help them settle down too.”
Eli smiles. “I guess it’s good that I made cake yesterday.”
Mathew grins, and the way his eyes light up makes my heart skip. Why do I think that he looks cute? “They’re lucky.” Then he nods to some of the people unpacking the other vans. “Take however many people you need. Getting the kids settled as soon as possible is a priority.”
“Will do.” Eli meets my gaze, giving me a quick nod. “I’ll be right back.” His voice is soft and reassuring, like he’s used to talking to people who are desperately trying to hang onto their sanity and not really succeeding.
Mathew leans against van door as he overlooks what’s going on, his gaze calm but focused. Like there are a hundred things going through his mind at the same time, but he manages to keep them all sorted and in line.
After a couple of moments, he turns back to me, like he’s trying to figure out how I fit into everything that happened tonight.
There’s something about him that I can’t put my finger on, something out of the usual. He’s not like anyone in charge I’ve dealt with before.
“You’re not an Alpha, are you?” The words slip out before I can properly think them though, nervous to fill the silence stretching between us.
He meets my gaze before he shakes his head. “I’m not.” He lets out a soft laugh. “What gave it away?”
His return question is unexpected, catching me off-guard. “I don’t know.”
He laughs again as he pushes off the van. “I guess I’m losing my touch.” He tsks. “That’s what I get for taking a pack.” He doesn’t sound bitter or angry, especially not with the gentle way he smiles as he says it, but he does sound sad in some way.
Before I can come up with something else to say —to try to reassure him that I don’t really have a reason to think he’s not an Alpha, it’s just a feeling— the door to the main part of the house opens and Vera comes back in, freshly showered, wearing a bright yellow dress and she looks so much more normal now.
Though, I don’t know if I can ever forget the way she smiled when she tortured the guards…
But, even with all that, my heart starts beating faster as I catch sight of her and I can’t help my automatic smile.
I like her, even when she scares me.
“Eli said that we can bring the kids upstairs.” She wraps her arms around Mathew’s waist, beaming up at him before she gives me a nervous smile. She slowly lets go of him and steps away from the van, so her pheromones won’t get inside. Her sweet consideration of me makes the extreme way I respond to her pheromones feel even less fair.
I swallow hard. Wishing it could all be different. That we could have met under different circumstances. That I wasn’t broken like this.
We can try to figure some things out after the kids are in their room and fast asleep. I just have to help them get settled and we can deal with the rest after that.
I turn to the back, the kids are all awake now, though they’ve been ‘trained’ by the Hearts to keep as quiet as possible. So they’ve not made a peep. “Let’s get out. There will be a place to sleep and something to eat and drink. I heard there’s cake.”
That last part makes some of them smile, but they still don’t let out a sound, which breaks my heart. Kids should get excited about cake, make noise, demand that they get it now . But these kids don’t…
None of the kids do, once they’ve been with the Hearts for more than a few days. I’ve seen it over and over and it angers me each time. How the Hearts so easily steal the joy and life from young kids.
Mathew opens the side door and helps them out. “If you follow the lady in the yellow dress, she’ll bring you to your room.”
I notice that the tall woman, Riley, is helping the kids out of the other van. She’s also freshly showered and her jeans and shirt make her look much softer than before. She talks to them with a sweet and encouraging voice as she lifts up the youngest kid and carries them inside as the others follow her.
It’s like she knows exactly how to work with these kids, like she’s done it many times before…
As the last kids have left with Vera, I also climb out, accidentally ending up closer to Mathew than I expected and in my impulse not to be in his way, I misstep and trip over my own feet.
Mathew grabs me, pulling me up and against him. He’s put me back on my feet, but his arms are still around me and he seems reluctant to let me go. I can’t help myself and lean into him, this unexpected embrace welcome after everything that has happened.
Of course, if he’s also part of the pack, it makes sense that?—
My chest constricts as a sharp flower scent reaches my nose, my vision going black, one word on my lips, one name . “Michael.”
This is Michael’s scent.
There’s no mistaking it.
My heart beats in my ears and I try to keep breathing, but it’s not easy.
Emotions flash thought me and I can’t keep track of them, the barrage of feelings overwhelming.
The Hearts were planning to get rid of me. They were giving me the worst jobs they could think of, waiting for me to step out of line so they had an excuse to get rid of me. That was, until I was cleaning the attic, sorting through things from people who had left and I came across Michael’s clothes. Someone noticed how I reacted to them and from that point on, they kept a close eye on me.
They still didn’t give me any good jobs, in some cases, they got worse. But from that point on, someone always kept an eye on me and I was mostly confined to the one brothel where Michael used to ‘work’.
I managed to steal one of his shirts and slept with it for months, until well after it had lost any traces of his scent. It was the only light spot in my otherwise dark life. I tried finding more of his clothes, or anything else that could have his scent, but everything of Michael’s had miraculously disappeared after that day…
That’s when the treats on my family started too. That’s when they made it very clear that if I stepped out of line for even a moment, they would hurt them. That’s when the Hearts became even more controlling over me than they had been before.
But if Michael —no, Mathew — and Vera and Caleb are all in the same pack…
The possibilities of what this would mean fight for attention in my head, but one thing stands out above all.
“They know.” My voice is little more than a whisper, like terror is gripping my throat, making me unable to speak.
“What do they know?” Mathew is still close, still holding me, though there’s tension in his voice.
“The Hearts know that you’re scent matched to Vera and Caleb. They’ve known for over a year.”
That’s when they tortured me with Vera and Caleb’s scents. They twisted my instincts and emotions so that even if I ever found my pack, I’d never be able to get comfort from them.
It was a test and a way to punish all of us at the same time.
They used me to test who Mathew’s scent matches could be. They’ve been trying to find his weakness for years.
Suddenly, having me sort all the clothes for the trackers for all of those years makes so much scary sense. It’s also how I found Vera and Caleb’s scents.
They were watching me, waiting until I would point them in the direction of Mathew’s mate or mates…
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” I try to push him away, suddenly feeling sick from fear and a sense of absolute betrayal to my future mates.
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. No matter what you think you did. It’s not your fault. They’ve been trying to get to me for over a decade. They were bound to find something at some point.” Mathew’s voice sounds so calm, but the slivers of pheromones that reach me are filled with a mixture of emotions, pain, relief, fear, anger. He doesn’t let me go, he keeps holding me, like I’m precious and he cares about me.
But how can he?
How can he care about me when I betrayed him?
How can he care about me after what I’ve done to him?
His movements still and then he lets out a long breath, relief spiking in his pheromones. “Luca?”
“Yes?” I try to look at him, even though my eyes are still filled with tears.
He’s smiling at me, his eyes watery with tears too. “Your family is safe.” His voice is soft. “Everything is going to be okay. Your family is safe. They’re going to bring them back here immediately. Your family is packing their bags right as we speak.”
He blinks, tears sliding down his cheeks, as he wraps his arms around me tighter, pulling me as close as possible, relief and hope now slipping into his pheromones. This seems to affect him much more than I would expect. “You’ll be able to see them soon. Talk to them soon. Be with them, soon.”
Dark rose pheromones surround us and suddenly Riley is holding us in her embrace, her pheromones filled with the same relief as Mathew’s.
I take deep breaths and for the first time in years, I feel safe. Safe, welcome and loved.
This is my pack.
They’re my pack.
No matter what the Hearts did. What they tried to do.
I’ve found my pack.
They might not be what I expected from a pack and they might live in ways that I don’t know if I’ll be able to accept so easily, but they’ve shown me nothing but kindness and willingness to help and protect people around them.
They’re not a conventional pack, but they’re my pack and I’ll do anything to protect them.
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Hunted Pack (Her Vicious Pack 7)