Chapter 11
FLYNN
Kaia follows me in complete silence while I lead her out of the cells and back to the upper floor.
Frank hovers nearby, his brows tight and his eyes infinitely less forgiving than my own.
“Frank, take her upstairs. Let her shower and dress.”
Frank’s lips twitch with restraint and he nods. “This way.”
As Kaia passes me, her eyes dart to me with the same disbelief they carried when I opened her jail cell, but she doesn’t speak and instead follows Frank down the hall and away upstairs to her room.
I haven’t forgiven her, exactly. If it wasn’t for Angie disturbing us, Kaia’s commitment wouldn’t have crumbled in time, and I’d be six feet under.
I won’t forgive her for trying to take me away from my daughter, but part of me also understands her.
Given what Kaia knows, I’m the devil in her life.
The source of her pain and the reason her family fell apart.
It echoes the pain in my own heart, but Kaia’s actions show she doesn’t quite grasp that we’re the same.
We just have different goals.
Letting Kaia get away with trying to kill me wasn’t my first thought.
When I first woke in the infirmary, I wanted to skin her alive and send her back to her uncle piece by piece, but as I recovered with Angie at my side my thoughts calmed and killing her fell from the top of my list.
Partly because Antov has stopped replying to any and all communications, which returns Kaia to my single link with the Yudkin family.
I could torture the information I need out of her, but I’m not entirely convinced she knows everything.
Yet, despite everything, I also consider the very real possibility that Antov doesn’t care for his niece.
If Kaia’s no longer valuable to him, then she loses all worth as a pawn to me and everything I’m striving for screeches to a halt.
After Kaia showers, dresses and has some tea, I lead her to the quieter west wing of the house, where the other reason Kaia’s still alive sits clutching her giraffe.
Angie’s innocence about the situation led her to constantly seek out Kaia, scribbling her name and thrusting the paper at anyone who came near her.
She thinks Kaia saved my life and I don’t have the heart to tell her the truth.
Keeping Angie safe and away from danger has always been my goal, and now with Kaia wavering in her own conscience I seek to drive that point home.
If she really can’t stomach harming children, then spending time with Angie will surely anchor that guilt and weaken whatever loyalty keeps Yudkin secrets locked up in that pretty head of hers.
“Your cane,” Kaia asks suddenly as we enter the playroom. “Is that…?”
Because of me, goes unasked, but I glimpse it in her eyes when our gazes meet.
“Yes,” I reply. “Although temporary. I’m exhausted more easily than I would like, but I refuse to stay down so I compromise.”
“Will you recover?” Her fingers twitch at the hem of her t-shirt as she stares at me, her eyes betraying her inner turmoil.
“Yes,” I say firmly. “Some would say you saved me just in time. But I brought you here to apologize.”
Kaia’s wide eyes dart from me to Angie who stands now that she’s spotted us. “Does she…?”
“Know?” I force a smile as I look back at my daughter. “Angie knows I got very sick very quickly from your cooking and it scared her. She also knows that you got help but I’ve been teaching her that even if a result isn’t intended, if it harms someone you still need to apolo—.”
I’m not even finished speaking and Kaia’s on her knees in front of Angie.
“Angie, I’m so, so sorry. I can’t even begin to imagine how terrifying it was for you to walk in and see your dad like that.
My cooking…I used some really bad ingredients in the soup and it made your dad really sick, and I’m really sorry. I hope in time you can forgive me.”
It’s a more honest apology than I expect, but from the way Kaia’s hands tremble she really means it.
Angie doesn’t speak, she hasn’t since she screamed out for me that night, but she reaches forward and takes Kaia’s hand in hers.
Then, silently, she starts pulling her toward the plastic toy table set up for a tea party.
Kaia glances at me for permission and I nod, leaning on my cane as I move to join them.
“Are you having a tea party?” I say while using the cane to lower my tired body down onto a nest of cushions.
Angie nods quickly, still clutching her giraffe in one hand.
Five tea cups are set up around the table, one for each toy invited to the table and one in front of an empty chair.
The sight of it brings a wave of sharp pain through my chest, and I sink my teeth into the back of my cheek to force my smile to remain.
Angie hurries around the table and tosses away her panda, giving me that teacup, and then her toy snake so that Kaia can have a cup too.
“I’ve never been to a tea party before,” Kaia says softly, crossing her legs next to me and holding the cup aloft. “I don’t know how to act.”
“Just play along,” I reply quietly. “Maybe don’t drink the tea though.” There’s no telling how long the water’s been stewing in Angie’s toy teapot as she begins to pour our drinks, but playing along turns the lukewarm water into the best tea I’ve ever drunk.
Plastic cakes become the sweetest pastries, fake vegetables become the juiciest of fruits, and Angie becomes the perfect hostess as she refills our teacups until they overflow.
Hearing her laugh cracks open the pain in my chest and there’s no need to force my smile anymore.
She hasn’t laughed in weeks and just the tinkling sound makes me ache all over.
To hear her speak again remains the ultimate goal, but until I can fix what I broke I’ll settle for her laughter.
Kaia fits her role rather well, too, playing the diligent guest and even drawing a few giggles out of Angie herself.
Watching them play together creates an odd tension in my chest that I can’t quite decipher.
This woman tried to kill me, and she likely still harbors that desire, yet she plays with Angie so enthusiastically that at a glance, we could all be mistaken as friends.
Once or twice, Kaia glances at me with that light smile on her face and my heart lifts.
Until now, I haven’t seen her smile. Not that I can blame her.
We play until the water within the teapot has been recycled three times and the sky outside has drawn dark.
Angie fights her yawns by trying to hide them behind her giraffe but soon there’s no avoiding her droopy eyelids and declining interest.
“Come on, darling,” I say as I climb to my feet on legs weak from exhaustion. “Bedtime.”
Angie shakes her head quickly, sending her hair all over her face, which she then uses to try and hide another yawn.
“Are you not tired?” Another shake of her head. “Are you yawning?” She shakes her head once more and hides her face in the belly of her giraffe, but it doesn’t muffle her squeal of soft laughter when I scoop them both into my arms.
“Say goodnight to Kaia,” I instruct, balancing Angie on my hip.
With another yawn, Angie waves her free hand at Kaia, and Kaia waves back.
“Goodnight, Angie.”
It takes no time at all to settle Angie into bed. Her refusal to sleep lasts until I’ve tucked her up in bed and kissed her forehead, then she’s out like a light with her giraffe clutched tightly under one arm.
Moments like these flood my chest with affection because I can pretend, for a split second, that things are normal and everything is okay.
But like always, as soon as I think that, I’m instantly reminded and guilt crushes me like a rock.
Soon, I tell myself as I limp back to the playroom. Things will be back to normal soon.
Surprisingly, Kaia’s still in the playroom tidying up and her head lifts when she hears me. “Why did you do this?”
I reach for my cane and lean on it while frowning. “Do what?”
“You…” She turns to me while clutching the panda. “A few hours ago I was locked in a cell under this house, fearing the end of my life. And now you’ve just had me play tea parties with your daughter. Why? Is this all part of some twisted game?”
“What game?” I glance around. “You stood before me and told me you couldn’t kill me because of Angie. Because she interrupted you. She doesn’t know that and all these days you’ve been gone, she was asking after you. So I brought you here to apologize to her.”
“Is that all?”
Straightening up, I run my tongue along my upper teeth. “No. I wanted you to see what you nearly did. I wanted you to look my daughter in her eyes and see the pain you caused.”
“I…” Kaia’s lower lip wobbles and she glances down at the panda. “I don’t understand. Do you feel guilt for the lives you’ve taken when you look in your daughter’s eyes?”
Guilt, absolutely, but not for what Kaia thinks.
“Everything I do,” I say tightly, “I do to keep her safe. That’s the difference between us. For me, children are off limits.”
Her head snaps up. “I told you I was sorry, and I meant it. I really am.”
“I’m not talking about that.”
Confusion flashes in Kaia’s eyes and she adjusts her stance. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“Enemies don’t typically share secrets.”
“Not that… What happened to Angie?”
The most important question. I stare at her in silence, fighting the surge of memories that rise every single time I think back to that terrible night.
“When you picked her up, her t-shirt rode up and I saw a scar on her back. It looked really fresh.” Kaia’s chest lifts as she takes a deep breath. “Something happened, didn’t it?”
“And you accuse me of playing games,” I scoff quietly. The fact that she can stand there and act like she has no idea completely sours my mood and the urge to send her back down to the cells rises like a wave.
“I’m not playing any games,” Kaia remarks. “I’m just…I’m trying to understand.”
“It’s simple. I’m not going to lock you up because you were honest and part of me wants to believe that you don’t have it in you to hurt children anymore. But if you try to harm me again in any way, I will kill you and dump you in the lake, understand?”
“Anymore?” Kaia repeats. “What do you mean?”
“Do you understand?” I snap, lifting my cane and pointing at her.
Kaia’s eyes widen and she nods quickly, clutching the panda tightly in her hands.
Satisfied, I turn and leave, but as I climb the stairs back to my room the look of confusion in her eyes doesn’t leave me.