Chapter 37 Kaia
KAIA
Warmth envelops me.
I float on softness beneath me that carries me without complaint and eases every single pain in my body.
In fact, it removes it because the lack of agony radiating through me is the first clear sensation that strikes me when consciousness finally brings me back to the surface.
I dare not open my eyes. The last time I woke up to softness beneath me, I had to…wait.
My memories are fuzzy and my head throbs as I try to recall anything beyond my immediate moments waking up here.
Wherever here is.
I know I should be in pain. I know I should be more alert than the sluggishness warming my limbs, but it’s all I know at the moment and it’s rather nice.
There’s a gentle, warm weight on top of me and a more solid weight near my foot. Warmth encompasses me and a low rumble somewhere nearby barely makes it through the fog invading my mind.
It’s almost peaceful if I let myself enjoy it for a few long seconds.
The weight at my feet shifts and that movement helps defog my thoughts long enough to return a spike of fear to my heart.
Is that my uncle?
Is he here waiting for me to drag me back to a world of pain and leave me contemplating the swift ways I can bring an end to this by taking my own life?
No…that’s not right.
I’m missing something.
As I try to slot the pieces into place in my mind, a strange warmth washes across my hands and my thoughts suddenly drag me right back to the moment I held a hairpin in my hand and drove it down into my uncle’s throat again and again.
The warmth of his blood spraying across my skin and pouring over my hands turns my stomach and tension pulls through me like a band.
I remember.
He took me up to his room.
He was going to—I can’t even stomach the thought, but I killed him. I’m pretty sure I killed him.
No one could survive something like that, could they?
I stabbed him again and again and again like there was no end to the amount of times I could do that and then…I stabbed someone else?
The low rumble grows louder with words growing clearer. It’s not a rumble.
Voices?
People are talking near me, and they slowly fade into clarity like coming up from being deep underwater.
Soft, low voices whispering and giggling as if trying not to wake me up.
Who would giggle?
I don’t know anyone who would giggle, do I?
Certainly not a guard intent on making me suffer for killing his boss.
Slowly, I crack my eyes open and my heart begins to pound in anticipation for what I might see.
As slow as my thoughts are, I know if I’m in a bad situation that I’ll need to feign unconsciousness while working out a plan.
First clear thing is a window, no…doors?
Bay doors lie cracked open, showing a small oval balcony where a rattan table is filled with countless dolls, dresses, and plushies.
Beyond the table, a deep blue sky warms my eyes and I force them to close.
It’s familiar.
Why?
The voices grow clearer still and the giggling cuts through the fog in my mind, making my heart ache so I open my eyes again.
Oak furniture. Egg-white walls. A fancy dresser.
I’ve woken up here before.
“Kaia!” Suddenly, the weight at my feet shifts and Angie’s face bursts into view above me. “You’re awake! She’s awake! Yay!”
“Let me see!” demands another voice, and an identical face appears next to Angie’s and grins down at me with a toothy smile. Her face is slightly thinner than Kaia’s and a name clicks in my mind.
Eva.
“You are awake!” Eva declares, then she throws her head back and yells. “Kaia’s awake! Zack you gotta get Daddy!”
“What?” Rumbles a low voice from the doorway.
Both twins snap to frown at whoever is there and speak in unison. “Get Daddy!”
“Shit, alright,” grumbles the voice.
“Bad word,” Angie snaps, then she looks back at me with a wide smile. “I’m so happy you’re back!” She blinks and suddenly tears fill her eyes and she slumps back onto her knees in front of me. “I was s-scared you wouldn’t wake up!”
It’s a lot to take in, but as soon as Angie starts to wail I brace my elbows on the bed and push myself up into a half-seated position against the pillows.
“Hey.” My croaky voice burns my throat. “Come here, don’t cry!” Raising my arms for them alerts me to the thick, stiff bandage around my left hand that completely swallows my fingers and turns it more into a white, soft, drumstick.
Angie’s about to throw herself at me when Eva catches her arm.
“Careful,” Eva warns. “She’s still sick!”
Then both of them are in my arms, hugging against my chest while Angie sniffles and does her best to fight her tears. It’s surreal.
I’m back with Flynn.
I remember stabbing him and his arms being around me, then an infinite darkness that never seemed to end. Now I’m in bed with his daughters in my arms and it’s got to be some kind of dream.
“I knew you’d wake up,” gasps Angie.
“Me too,” insists Eva. “Daddy said you’re super strong, so I knew.”
“I knew first,” Angie shoots back.
“No you didn’t,” Eva replies. “We knew at the same time!”
“I…” I can’t think of anything to say, but my croak makes them both lift their heads and they speak over one another so quickly that I can’t keep up.
“Are you okay?”
“Do you need the doctor?”
“Daddy’s coming.”
“He’s been taking care of you.”
“Do you want tea? We were having a tea party.”
“Daddy lets us play in here so we can look after you.”
“Please have tea with us!”
Glancing between them, I gaze down at my feet where a blanket is spread over the foot of the bed and an array of toy tea set pieces lay scattered.
“I’d love tea,” I croak, coughing softly to clear my throat. “I…” My gaze shifts to Eva. “Are you alright, Eva?”
She stops talking and beams, nodding repeatedly. “I’m okay. Thank you for coming to get me. I didn’t…” Her face crumples slightly. “I got so scared no one was going to come and find me. I knew Daddy would try but it was so long…”
Angie’s hand shoots out to her sister and she laces their fingers together.
“But you came,” Eva continues and she rubs at one eye with her free hand. “You came for me and I got to come home.”
My heart swells in my chest and I nod quickly. “I’m really glad you’re okay.”
“We’re glad you’re okay too,” they say in unison and my attention darts between them, suddenly unsure who to focus on so I settle on Angie.
“Angie…”
“Mhm?” She nods eagerly and scooches closer to me.
“I never… I never got a chance to ask this, and I told myself I would if I got to see you again, so…do you remember that day on the dock?” It was terrifying for me but that doesn’t mean it mattered to Angie.
Thankfully, she nods. “Yup.”
“Why did you…why did you throw yourself between me and your dad?” I could never make peace with her actions in my mind or reason why she would throw herself between a gun and me when she’s only a child, but to my surprise her smile doesn’t waver.
“Because Daddy’s really sad. Or he was really sad.
He’s not anymore. But when he was really sad, he would do angry things and then he’d be even more sad after, so I didn’t want him to be angry and then be sad again because I was sad and you made him happy so I…
” She gasps as the words rush out and tumble over themselves.
“I wanted Daddy to be happy again. He’s not a bad man. ”
“No,” Eva agrees and her face falls. “He’s not a bad man at all.”
Angie squeezes Eva’s hand and they both lean into me. “Are you going to stay awake now?” Angie asks.
“That is a good question,” rumbles a deep, achingly familiar voice from the doorway.
“Daddy!” Both girls rush from the bed and fly into Flynn’s arms and he ducks down to receive them both.
His cheeks flush pink as he kneels and there’s a slight glimmer to his forehead. Did he rush here?
“Girls, I need to speak to Kaia. Can you go with Zack and find out what Florence is doing for dinner?”
“I don’t wanna,” Angie whines, but her whine trails with her out of the room as Eva eagerly agrees and drags her out.
Flynn watches them go then turns to me as he closes the door.
His smile melts from one of happiness to one of concern.
As he approaches the bed, my heart starts to pound.
He looks good.
Healthy.
More alive than the last time I saw him.
Having his daughter back must really have been the injection he needed to soothe his soul, and it shows in his bright, glittering eyes and his handsome face.
Flynn moves to the edge of my bed and adjusts as if he’s going to sit beside me, then he thinks better of it and takes the seat instead.
My heart aches with a pulse of disappointment.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, his voice rumbling gently toward me.
I want to throw myself at him and wrap up in his arms, make him talk constantly to me until all I hear is the deep, soothing tones of his voice and forget every dark, twisted memory that’s resurfacing the longer I’m awake.
“Cold,” I admit, coughing slightly around my painful voice. “A little…confused but okay, I think.”
“Do you want me to shut the…?” He points toward the open bay doors and I shake my head.
“No, no it’s okay. I like seeing the sky.” It helps me feel at ease knowing the outside world is right there.
“Of course.” Flynn nods. “You must have questions.”
Our eyes meet and warmth stings behind my eyes. “You came for me,” I croak.
Flynn’s lips part slightly and then he nods slowly. “Of course I did.”
“Why?”
His brows twitch. “Why?” He seems confused. “You really don’t know?”
I shake my head and the world blurs as the tears flood. “I’m a Y-Yudkin. What we did, what my family did…” I shake my head again and again. “You should have let me die there.”
Flynn’s hand suddenly rests on my forearm just above the bandages. “Not a chance.”
“But I—.”