Chapter 15
Brody
Trinity’s question hangs between us, thick as fog.
Exactly what kind of man are you?
Good question. Honestly? I don’t know.
This thought has crossed my mind a few times over the years. More often in recent months.
Declan’s orders are absolute. I’ve never disobeyed them, even if I didn’t always agree.
For example, all the shit that went down with Maeve. I never condoned the way he treated her. I just never had the guts to do anything about it.
It took her being kidnapped and Kellin standing up to defend her to start jarring me out of the blind obedience I’ve never before questioned.
Lately, I’ve reflected on who I’ve always been and who I want to be. One thing I’m certain of is that past Brody and future Brody don’t always align in my head.
So what kind of man am I?
Now’s not the time to find out, so I shove that inquiry aside.
Deflect. Attack.
The two basic principles of all my training.
I stalk back to the living room where Trinity sits, still eyeing the plate of cooling bacon and eggs she shoved aside like it’s a trap.
“You want to play Twenty Questions? Fine. I’ll go first. Why are those Russians after you?”
She rolls her eyes. “Like I’m supposed to know.”
I’m not buying that. “But you do.” I lower myself into the armchair across from hers and steeple my fingers together.
Her eyes snap to mine and then flick away.
I press her further. “The man you saw at the ceremony. The one you thought was with me. Did you see him at the construction site when those fucks ambushed us?”
She purses her lips, but she doesn’t speak.
That’s a yes.
“Describe him to me.”
She shakes her head. “He’s dead. You killed him.”
I ignore the stab in her gaze and focus on this clearly important information.
If Trinity spotted the guy who was following her at that construction site, that confirms that the Russians were on her trail before I even snatched her. They’ve probably been on my trail too…
They knew the drop-off location. They were organized, efficient, and prepared. No match for me, but that’s beside the point.
The point is that Trinity’s at the center of something that may be much bigger than Declan’s plot to manipulate Finn Gallagher.
My father’s desire to target Trinity makes sense. We’re already here, close to her college, and we’ve got significant history with the Irish Kings. The Russians, though?
They went so far out of their way to snag her.
All this time, I’ve regarded Trinity as a means to an end. But what if she is the end? What if kidnapping her is the goal and this isn’t about Finn at all?
The Russians sure as shit tried to hunt Trinity down. Though they claimed they wanted her alive, they demonstrated a sloppy disregard for her life. This morning, I assumed they viewed her as a pathway to Finn, like Declan does.
But maybe her actual survival doesn’t matter as much to them as it does to us.
Why, though?
As Port Kings, we have beef with the NYC Gallaghers.
What’s the Russians’ rationale?
“I’m fairly certain those were Andrei Kruschev’s men.” I’m taking a risk by letting her in on a bit of what I know. Luckily, my gamble pays off immediately since recognition blanches her face.
A new kind of fear creeps into her expression.
I crack my knuckles. “You know who he is, then?”
She jumps at the noise but nods, cradling herself with her arms. “I’ve heard the name.”
“If you know who he is, then you know he doesn’t make mistakes. Seems that Andrei wants you. Why?”
Trinity shakes her head again, her voice meek. “I have no idea.”
“If it’s not you, then it’s something you have…” I scrub a hand over my stubble, noticing I could use a shave. “But what could you possibly have that’s worth turning Koreatown into a war zone?” I drift closer, my eyes flicking over her body.
Trinity averts her own gaze, but I can tell I’ve hit a nerve.
She knows why all of this is happening. Or she at least has some idea.
Maybe she didn’t before, but the pieces finally seem to be clicking behind those green eyes.
I lean forward, with my elbows balanced on my knees.
“Tell me, Trinity.” I lower my voice to a dangerous whisper. “Or the next time they show up, I might just let them have you.”
She recoils from my threat, shrinking deeper into the chair.
I know I’m close to winning.
But then she straightens up, forcing poise back into her posture as she glares. “You know, for an enforcer, you’re surprisingly easy to read.”
Oh, great. We’re back to mind games.
I straighten up too. “You’re not exactly airtight yourself.”
“I can tell, you know.” This time when she sits back in her seat, she folds her legs. Protecting herself. The image of a pristine princess. “When you’re bluffing.”
“Bluffing.” My eyebrows rise, and a chuckle actually crawls past my lips. “Me.”
She nods, keeping her gaze steady on mine. “I know when you’re bluffing…when you’re just trying to scare me. It’s very easy to tell when you’re lying.”
Lying? I haven’t lied to her one single time.
“Oh, I get it.” I recline back in the chair and cross my legs. “It’s time for Trinity Gallagher’s psychoanalysis hour. Is that right?”
She scoffs. “Like you could handle a whole hour.”
“Excuse me?”
“There’s no way you could endure an entire hour of psychoanalysis.” Her lips slide into a mocking smile. “Your ego would start crying like a bitch after fifteen minutes.”
Irritation wires my jaw tight. When I finally do speak, the words grind through gritted teeth. “Try me.”
Trinity’s eyes sparkle, a pleased sort of curiosity coloring her face. She gives me a knowing look, as if to ask, Do you really want to do this?
When I don’t back down, she leaps in with two feet.
“Well, for one thing, you’re entirely confused about who you are.
” Her eyes fall to her hand, like she’s inspecting her damn nails.
“You’re a murderer and a fighter, but you’re also a loyal lackey.
You do these awful things, and then you turn around and soothe panic attack symptoms, treat wounds, and cook breakfast for dinner at midnight. You’re lost.”
I retrieve the pack of cigarettes from my pocket. “I prefer the term nuanced.” If this is all she’s got…
“You’re obviously completely alone in the romance department.” Trinity casually submits her assessment of my love life.
“What makes you think that?” I light up and take a drag, blowing smoke right at her.
She scowls, huffs out a breath, and then waves her hand to disperse the haze. “If you had someone to love, I don’t think you’d be in this line of work.” She shrugs one small shoulder. “No one who’s ever truly loved someone could be satisfied with the cruel, violent existence you call home.”
That stings. Not just because she’s right, but because she’s acting like it’s so apparent.
Like any souped-up teenager on the street could recognize how broken I am.
“And if you at least had someone to screw on the regular…” Lust flickers in her eyes as she gives me a once-over before closing her face like a sealed room. “Well, you wouldn’t be pushing hostages up against walls to get your rocks off, would you?”
Trinity’s got me hot under the collar all over again, but I can’t just concede.
I take another long drag of nicotine and reel in my irritation. I exhale smoke with my next words. “Fair point. But I’ve been wondering about you as well, princess. Grabbing dicks in public restrooms. Is that a habit of yours?”
That shamed flush on her cheeks gives me my answer.
Got her.
Catching her momentarily alleviates the sting of her pointed analysis. I’ve never met a woman who could make me vulnerable just with the things she says.
Now that I understand the kind of danger she poses, though, I’ll be better prepared.
I also know where to poke her now.
“You can say and think what you like, Trinity.” I blow out another smoke trail. “But I’m impenetrable. You want to know why? Because I know I’m a shit human being. You can’t hurt me by pointing out the obvious—”
“Then let’s talk about something that isn’t apparent.” She hunches forward, mirroring my earlier posture. Squaring off with me. “Why do you get this weird expression and tone of voice whenever you mention Declan? That’s what I really want to know.”
My heart drops to the floor, hard and heavy as a bowling ball. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you don’t.” She cocks her head, regarding me like I’m an unsolved mystery. “You get this strange expression on your face that I can’t quite read. Longing, maybe? Or pain?”
Any playful mockery remaining on my face vanishes. My body stiffens at her missile-like words, my mind flatlining on impact.
I crush the cigarette between my fingers and toss the remnants to the tile.
Trinity quickly sits up, alert to my shift in mood.
After studying me, her voice softens. “You need something from him that he’s not giving you, don’t you?
His approval, maybe?” I flinch. “You’re a loyal soldier, but that’s not enough for him, is it?
You’re constantly striving to prove yourself, and that must eat you alive. ”
Trinity pauses like she’s had an epiphany. Meanwhile, considering my nonexistent tolerance for vulnerability, the blistering heat of exposure obliterates my insides.
I’d rather dodge actual missiles than sit through this shit.
Which means she’s right about me.
And my ego can’t handle that.
Anger curls through me like the smoke from my cigarette.
Or maybe that’s just shame.
She shakes her head a little and hooks my gaze with hers. “You meant it when you said you’d be dead if you failed your mission. Didn’t you?”
The words impale me straight through the chest. How much more of this must I suffer through?
Unfortunately for me, she’s not done.
“If given the chance, you think Declan might actually kill you.”
Every bit of oxygen in the room disappears.
Two beats of silence follow before I leap up from the armchair, the legs screeching across the floor. I charge at Trinity and, bracing my hands on her armrests, pour my weight over her body and press in.
She pushes her back into the cushion but can’t escape. I hover over her, so close that one deep breath would allow me to claim those lips for the third time today.
“You think you’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?
” I hardly recognize the dark rasp of my voice.
“All your privilege, money, education…” With one coarse hand, I snatch her chin between my fingers, forcing her head up until it’s parallel with mine.
“Well, guess what? You don’t know jack shit about anything.
Certainly not about the real world. You don’t even know yourself. ”
I drop my hand, reveling in the proximity of our mouths.
Hers, clamped shut and defiant. Mine, rigid and smiling.
“Do you really think you understand anything about anything?” My gaze zeroes in on her lush lips. “You don’t even know why you kissed me back.”
Her jaw gapes open, and her hands clench the arms of the chair.
Got you, Trinity.
I win this round.
Knowing that isn’t as satisfying as it should be.
But a win is a win.
I straighten up. She sags into the chair, breathing rapidly. Good. After all that, she should be rattled. I maneuver around her chair, closing the distance between myself and the bathroom door.
“I’m getting a shower.” Glancing over my shoulder, I glimpse her flushed face as she spins around to glare. “Touch a single window or door, and I’ll show you what it means to be my prisoner.”