Chapter 42
Trinity
I’ve had so many firsts since I met Brody, I don’t know where to begin.
Running for my life, getting kidnapped, getting shot at.
Forced to hide in a safe house.
My first time having an orgasm from sex with a partner.
First time having sex in public, and my second time, if the car and the train both count.
First time in love.
My first time trusting another person with my whole heart. I’ve been opening up like a pop-up book for this guy.
My first real road trip too. We’re taking our time, visiting places that I’ve never been like Memphis, St. Louis, and now Chicago. It’s lovely. I almost don’t want to get to New York.
For now, I’m paying rent for my place in Austin because breaking the lease would be expensive. I haven’t made any other concrete plans, but I do know one thing. Brody is my future.
In many ways, the future is already happening.
I see that in the way that he and Connor are truly getting to know each other for the first time since, as Brody put it, they were “climbing trees and catching frogs.”
I’ve enjoyed watching them together. Connor has been so inclusive, rolling me into every memory he recalls as the two brothers reunite over our cross-country trek to Finn. He doesn’t need to, of course, but I appreciate him thinking of me.
What’s more, from a psychological standpoint, I find these brothers shedding their outer layers of steel-reinforced skin and just loving each other absolutely fascinating. It’s new for them, and they’re still working out the kinks, but I adore witnessing the evolution.
I’ve also been in contact with Maeve, and I think she and I will be good friends.
A few days ago, my family was so small, and now it’s grown by so many people that I don’t know what to do with myself.
During the evenings, in our own hotel room, Brody and I make love for hours.
We’re beginning a new life together when only two weeks prior, we’d never even met.
It’s incredible to think that, just a short time ago, I was graduating college and moving to Austin with plans to work in a crisis center and apply to grad school. I had my apartment packed and a new one set up. I was even looking forward to living in another city.
I’d promised myself that I’d make a friend or find a lover. I never spoke that desire out loud, but someone must’ve listened to the voice in my heart.
Because I’ve made a friend and found a lover in Brody.
This still doesn’t feel real, if I’m being honest.
We’re sitting a few miles outside of Chicago, enjoying breakfast at a diner before we get back on the road. In another day or so, I’ll be home in Manhattan, Brody and Connor in tow.
Home.
Such a funny word. I haven’t had a place to call home in a long time.
My coffee’s lukewarm and weak, and I don’t even care.
The server arrives with breakfast platters of eggs, sausage, toast, and hash browns.
With fork and knife in hand, Brody quarters each egg, then slices crosses through the hash browns, proving he’s tactical to the bone.
He even attacks breakfast systematically.
I adore learning all his little quirks.
He forks a piece of egg and a crunchy chunk of hash brown. “Look at us, already eating the same breakfast. We even both ordered our eggs over medium. A couple of old geezers chasing down fifty years of marriage.”
I laugh. “And to think I’ve been trying not to spook you with too many questions about the future. Meanwhile, you just brought up our golden anniversary.”
“A guy can dream.”
He’s such a secret sap.
I love it.
Life’s not a straight line, and this wild ride has only driven that point home.
When I do get my graduate degree and open my own practice, I’ll have a deeper understanding of the process. “Enjoy the journey.” I never knew what that meant. My logical brain only saw goals and considered “the journey” as the training ground.
I always forgot to breathe. To just be in the moment.
I don’t know what I did before Brody, how my lungs ever filled all the way with air. This man taught me to exist in a way I never thought possible.
He’s not the same man that scooped me up on graduation day either.
He’s more relaxed than he was when we first met. With this smoother expression, he appears younger. Happier.
He still sits with his back to the wall and his eyes on the entrances, but he smiles.
Laughs. Loves.
Out of Declan’s shadow, I can finally witness the real Brody, who’s ready to live on his own.
Ready to live with me.
Brody’s promise to stay with me every day will never get old.
If you track it according to linear time, our relationship is a speckled fawn on wobbly legs. If measured against what we’ve already been through, though, and how deeply we’ve fought to be here together, we’re a pair of swans in the twilight of our lives.
I’ve barely taken four bites before Brody’s finished half of his food. “Someone’s hungry.”
He chugs down some coffee. “Someone couldn’t get enough of me last night. I have to refuel.”
Heat floods my face, and I kick his leg beneath the table. “Shut up. Connor’s coming.”
I am not having a sex conversation in front of Brody’s older brother.
Connor slides into the booth next to Brody and sips his mug of cold coffee with a grimace.
I slide over the dish of sugars. “It helps. A little.”
“Thanks.” Connor hands a manila folder over to Brody and then grabs three sugars and shakes them before ripping off their corners and dumping them into the caffeinated water.
Brody shoves his plate—wiped clean with his last piece of rye toast—off to the side and scans the contents.
When his face tightens, my heart races.
“What is this?”
Brody gives his brother a side-glance before focusing on me again. “Call it a graduation present.”
I push my half-eaten breakfast aside, my appetite gone.
Brody slides the folder across the table.
Inside, I find dossiers on two criminals.
Tingles break over my entire body, and the air catches in my throat.
I glance across the table at the brothers. They’re blurry through the tears streaming down my face. When did I start crying? “Is this…them?” I don’t know why I bothered to ask. Every fiber of my being already knows the answer.
Brody nods. “Connor did some digging based on what you told us about your conversation with Rostov.”
I can’t breathe. “Thank you both.” With my eyes so watery, I can’t read the papers.
Connor sees my predicament. “As it turns out, the men who kidnapped your friend Angelica worked for a now dissolved Italian family.”
I try to wipe some of the tears from my eyes. “Not some of Grigori’s guys?”
Brody’s voice breaks through the fog in my head. “No. They did do some work for him in New York City during the timeframe he told you about. That part wasn’t a lie. But there certainly weren’t five of them.”
“And no way was the Russian mob boss going to give you five million dollars to live a happy, peaceful life in exchange for your drive while he systematically dismantled your family.” Connor tries his coffee again, which appears to be bearable now.
I push my plate toward the older brother. “Are you hungry?”
“Nah, I’m not a breakfast kind of guy. Thanks, though.” He smiles.
I guess that explains why Brody had no clue what to order him.
I study the folder. The weighty papers feel delicate in my hands, like a pollinated flower that will lose the petals if I touch it.
Brody clicks his tongue against his teeth. “Grigori spewed a bunch of BS to sweeten the pot for you.”
I meet his eyes.
He shakes his head, disgusted. “The drive was of the utmost importance, and he’d have said anything to obtain it, Trinity. But he wasn’t going to keep up his end of the bargain. Guys like him—”
“You don’t have to convince me. I watched him shoot at his own son while trying to kill you.” I exhale a shaky breath. “No honor in that one.”
Brody reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “After these two fled New York and Rostov’s team, they ran to Chicago and joined an outfit that had business with Declan.”
Connor taps the folder. “One of them is dead, but the other one is still in Chicago, rotting in federal prison.”
My heart skips a beat.
This is what I’ve been searching for this whole time. The men who snatched my oldest and only friend and ended her life. One of those men is still alive, and he’s not far from me.
Convincing these brothers to detour to the federal prison wouldn’t take much, if any, effort.
They might even have connections that could get me in.
They seem to have “friends” and “colleagues” in every nook and cranny, every hospital and hideaway, every five-star restaurant and burlesque club all over the country. Prison doesn’t seem like a stretch.
I touch the living man’s file and wipe my eyes on a napkin. Read through it, front to back.
Fresh tears drip onto the pages, wrinkling the ink.
I’m not sure why I’m crying again. From anger? Relief? Reliving that awful trauma?
Maybe I’m experiencing some cathartic release because this ordeal’s finally over. Now…I truly feel content and complete.
“Trinity?” Brody’s soft voice intrudes on my thoughts.
I glance up at him.
“Do you want to confront this man? We can take you there after breakfast. I can go in with you or wait outside. Whatever you want.”
Connor nods beside his brother.
I close both the folder and my eyes. Suck in a breath of stale coffee and syrup. “I don’t think so. Whatever hell this man is going through is justice enough for me.”
Brody offers me both his hands, and I accept them.
My regrets, my burdens, will never truly disappear, but I am letting them rest.
Confronting this man wouldn’t bring Angelica back, and I now understand that.
With Brody by my side, I’m finally ready to live.