Chapter 12
Micah rubbed his hands over his face. God! He was completely out of his depth here. He had given up his lucrative and wildly successful psychology practice because his compassion and empathy were too profound and ran too deep. He felt too intensely, became too involved and too invested in the outcomes.
He wasn”t a vain man, but he was aware that he had attracted many women to his practice because of his good looks and muscled build. Superficial things which shouldn”t have been important.
But these were women who were already damaged to some extent or another, and too many of them had ended up projecting their affections on a handsome face, an attentive ear, and a willingness to help.
Some of it was a part of their initial affliction, some of it was what they perceived as his interest, because he genuinely listened and tried to support them.
Micah had ended up feeling as if he helped no one when the weight of their expectations skated too close to a personal and unprofessional interest from which he had to extract himself.
In the end, it had caused him too much pressure and frustration, too much heartache.
And Sara”s death, even though she had never been his patient, had been the very last straw.
Joel, Jake, Logan, and Connor thought they had lured him away with their ludicrously generous offer to become manager of Club Risqué, but in fact, it had been his salvation.
Now, here he was again, with a woman much more damaged than any he had seen. One who identified as a slave, just as Sara had done, and who also wanted him as the master he didn”t wish to be.
And on top of it all, Micah knew he was in danger of being sucked in far beyond where he was comfortable, out of some kind of misplaced sense of guilt over his ex and his own innate need and dedication toward championing the healthy mind and supporting his fellow souls in fulfilling their potential in life as the best version of themselves they could be.
But no matter what the cost to his own psyche, there was no way he could turn his back on Melody. It went against everything he believed in, and he knew with certainty, although it had not yet been verbally established, that she had no one else to rely on.
Sighing, he did his best to push aside his doubts and reservations, so he could concentrate on the woman who needed him.
”Let”s try this in more general terms, shall we?” he asked gently. ”Why don”t you tell me the things that have happened in your life, and I”ll ask a few questions when I need to clarify a certain point? What do you think?”
”Of course, Master,” she agreed readily.
Micah closed his eyes and sucked in a quiet breath. ”Micah,” he reminded her once more.
”I don”t know where to start, Ma…Micah,” she replied, worrying at her chapped and split lips with her teeth until he couldn”t help but to lean forward and press his thumb against her chin in order that she release it before any more damage was done.
The touch was brief, but he couldn”t help but notice the confusion in Melody”s eyes, as if such gentleness and consideration were completely foreign to her and she didn”t know quite how to react to it.
”Start at the beginning,” Micah encouraged, fighting his instinctive urge to show her what a little affection might feel like.
Jesus! What was wrong with him? The last thing the poor woman needed was him slobbering all over her, but somehow, he just couldn”t shake the idea that he”d like to show her a softer side of life.
He shook himself impatiently. He needed to get with the programme! ”Tell me about your childhood, your family. A brief history of your life, finishing with how you got here.”
Melody took a deep breath and looked away, frowning slightly before she started to speak.
”My parents died when I was young,” she began, hesitantly at first. ”I hardly remember it all. I think I was seven…or maybe nine. I didn”t have any brothers or sisters.”
Her expression took on a far-away look as if she was physically gazing back on her past and seeing it in her mind”s eye.
”There were a couple of foster homes when I was younger. They were okay, not great, but not bad, either. The last couple I was placed with got divorced, so I ended up finishing my supervision in a children”s home.”
She started to speak with more confidence as she began to relax.
”As soon as I came of age, I knew I was going to be on my own. There wasn”t a lot of help. I was just expected to move out and get on with my life. But there was a man I used to see around, outside, near the home, and one day, he approached me. I knew I wasn”t the first. He”d spoken to some of the other girls, and they thought he was a bit creepy. But he was nice, actually.”
Micah held his breath as well as his tongue, concerned with the seemingly predatory nature of the events she was describing. But she had become more comfortable now and he didn”t want to jeopardise that by interrupting. Not just yet, anyway, even though he was making a mental note of all the new questions that were now teeming in his head.
”Anyway, he explained that he wanted a companion. That he wanted to be the daddy I didn”t have and that if I went to live with him, then he would look after me.”
Melody let out a deep sigh and looked at him finally, a hint of defiance, the first real glimpse he had seen, in her eyes.
”I’m not stupid. I knew he didn”t really mean that kind of daddy, and I knew it would include sex, but I was okay with that. I was glad to have somewhere to go. Too many of the kids I grew up with ended up living on the streets, working as hookers or doing drugs…or both. Daddy was a step up from all that, as far as I was concerned.”
Micah tried hard to keep his true feelings to himself. She may have consented, but it didn”t change the fact that someone had deliberately targeted a vulnerable young woman, hell, still a girl, really, at a critical time in her life, and taken advantage of the situation for his own dubious benefit.
”It”s okay, Melody. You had a choice, and you made the one you thought best,” he agreed albeit grudgingly.
There was no point in chastising Melody for her decisions and perhaps it really had been the best one at that time. Micah was well aware of the pitfalls facing kids coming out of the foster care system. At least she didn”t appear to have been forced, and there were no subtle indications coming from her expressing that she regretted the decision.
Besides, he was trying to foster the concept of free choice, and this was an example of a choice she’d made for herself. It would undermine everything he was trying to achieve if he told her it was wrong. Plus, it was in the past. Nothing he said could change what had already happened.
”I do know it could have been dangerous and that he was in it for himself,” Melody admitted as if she had read his thoughts. ”But I didn”t get a bad vibe from him, he was just kind of…sad. You know, unhappy sad. Like he really wanted to take care of someone and wanted someone to take care of him, too.”
Lonely, Micah substituted in his own head, but he was glad Melody appeared to have considered the situation. At least weighing the pros and cons before she had dived headfirst into what could have been a nightmare scenario…except that there was still that possibility. Something had gone wrong somewhere, after all, and he still didn”t have the whole story.
”Actually, it was all okay. Better than I expected, really. Daddy had a nice house. Big. I even had my own room, although it was kind of decorated for a kid, but I didn”t mind that. It was part of the deal, you know?” Melody picked at the hem of the blanket with her fingers, once again looking back into her mind”s eye. ”He bought me clothes, and even though I didn”t get to choose them, and they were mostly a bit childish, they were always suitable for the weather. I had plenty to eat, even if I did have to be fed by someone else, and when Daddy spanked me, it didn”t really hurt that much…in fact, I kind of like…umm, well… It wasn”t a problem.”
She was about to say she”d liked being spanked, he realised, and had then gotten embarrassed, but that was something he”d have to address another time. They both needed to keep on track right now. He knew, without being told, that they were coming to the crucial time when everything had changed for Melody.
”And I wasn”t locked in or anything, either, though I didn”t usually go out without Daddy.”
A tremor vibrated through her slight frame, and Micah knew things were about to turn nasty.