9. Briar
9
brIAR
THE PAST
T here was something about that man.
It was the way he was looking at me.It made me feel like I wasonthe center of a stageandhe was the only memberinthe audience.He made me feel like I was being seen for the first time in my entire life.
And it was the most delicious feeling in the world.
I lean against the wall because my knees suddenly feel like they can no longer hold my weight.
Sophia finds me slumped against the wall.
“Is everything okay?” she asks, sounding concerned.
“Yes. Everything’s fine,” I say.
She watches me, unconvinced. “You know, if something is wrong, it’s okay for you to tell me.”
“I know,” I say. “It’s just a lot. I’m not used to being around so many people.”
“You’ll get used to it,” she says. “I worked many jobs before coming here, and let me tell you, this is by far the best place I’ve ever worked at.”
She glances down at her iPad and frowns at something she sees.
“Take a break if you need it,” she says, looking up at me. “I’m needed in the dressing room.”
She gives me a quick hug and leaves. I watch her go.
I bite my bottom lip and scan the room. I can’t shake the feeling of having someone’s eyes on me.
My skin prickles with awareness. I become hyperaware of every breath I take and every sound I make. And…I can’t stop thinking about that man.
He watched me with dark, hooded eyes.But at the same time,something about himmade me feel safe.
That’s something I never felt before.
I don’t know him, but I intrinsically know that nobody would dare to touch me again if I had a man like him by my side.
Nobody would dare to hurt me.
I’m feeling things I’ve never felt before.
It feels like there’s an invisible hand wrapped around my throat. And it’ssqueezinghard enough to make me see stars.
I need to get some fresh air.
I head toward the emergency exit, needing a break from all this stimulation.
I exhale when I’m outside.I didn’t realize how loud the music was untilI’mblanketed by silence once more.
The night air is invigorating, but the darkness reminds me of everything I’ve seen tonight. Everything I tried to run away from.
It gets hard to breathe again.
Frustration builds up inside me, and I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t know how to let it out.
I rest my back against the wall and try to ground myself.
A lighter clicks near me. I suck in a breath as a small flame highlights dark eyes. It’s the man from the show. The ring of his cigar burns bright in the night.
I didn’t realize I had company.
He watchesmelike he knew I was here all along.
“Sorry.” I turn around to head back inside.
“Stay,” he says. “And there’s nothing you need to apologize for.”
I hesitate. “I don’t want to bother you.”
“I think it’s too late for that,” he mutters.
I blush. He walks toward me, bringing with him the scent of smoke and leather. He smells like bad decisions and a good time.
I know I should walk away from him, but something keeps me rooted to the spot.
“They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul,” he says. “And for the first time, I see why. Yours look like they hold the secrets of the entire universe, solnishko .”
My heart beats so hard against my chest that I think it might leave a bruise. My mouth feels like the desert.
“They tell me another story, too,” he says. “A sadder one. Something brought you here tonight. What happened?”
He’s not talking to me like a stranger would. He’s talking like we’ve known each other for years. But I roll with it because it’s all just for one night.
“I needed an escape,” I say.
“Don’t we all,” he replies.
We stare at each other. I’m drawn tohimlike a moth to the flame.
And for him, I wouldn’t mind catching on fire.
I wouldn’t mind burning.