30. Briar
30
brIAR
“ M eet Shadow and Aurora,” he says, stopping in front of two horses—a stallion and a mare.
I inhale the scent of hay and leather. I can’t stop grinning at the sight of the horses. And he can’t stop looking at me.
He brought me to the stables like he promised he would. Both the horses watch me with curious but wary eyes.
Shadow is a sleek black stallion that looks more peeved than curious. Powerful muscles ripple underneath his glossy coat. Beside him stands a chestnut mare. Her eyes sparkle with mischief like she’s up to something. This must be Aurora.
“Hello there,” I say, moving closer toward the horses.
Dimitri clears his throat. “I should warn you—Shadow doesn’t like physical touch. He needs time to warm up to new people.”
I hold my palm out toward the stallion. He flares his nostrils and stomps his hooves on the ground.
“I told you…” Dimitri trails off when Shadow leans forward to sniff my outstretched hand.
My grin turns triumphant. I turn to Dimitri, who stuffs his hands in his pockets.
“That’s a first,” he says. “He usually likes his solitude.”
I turn toward the chestnut mare. Shadow starts swishing his tail and pawing the ground, showing signs of aggressive behavior.
“Another thing about Shadow is that he’s very territorial with Aurora,” he says. “He doesn’t like other people getting close to her even though she loves being petted.”
Aurora tosses her head up and down, whinnying with excitement.
I approach her gently, careful not to spark Shadow’s ire. I stroke the mare’s soft coat.
“Hello, gorgeous,” I say, giggling when the mare nuzzles against my palm, loving the affection.
“Again, I stand corrected.” Dimitri shakes his head. “I should have known. People and animals can’t help but fall in love with you.”
He says that so casually, like hearing those words doesn’t twist my stomach in knots.
Dimitri is dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt. He has thick stubble on his chin and looks ridiculously attractive as he leans against a wooden beam.
“You’re staring,” he says.
I swallow. “You look nice today.”
My compliment catches him off guard. The longer I am around Dimitri, the more I understand that despite our differences, he and I are a lot alike. We’re both starved of affection.
I know I’m walking into dangerous territory, but I can’t help everything I feel.
Last night, it was like the floodgates opened inside me, filling me with all this affection and love for him. I want to make him happy and take care of him.
“And you look adorable in your cowgirl hat,” he says, tipping the brim of my hat.
I place my hand over it, smiling up at him. “Can we go riding?”
His smile fades.
“Please?” I ask. “It’s been so long.”
“I don’t know if it’s safe,” he mumbles.
“Of course it’s safe,” I say. “I’ve been riding all my life.”
“I know,” he says. “I’m just worried that...”
“That what?”
He looks pained, like he has something to say but can’t say it for whatever reason.
“We can go on a trail ride,” he says. “A slow walk. How does that sound?”
I wanted to feel the wind in my hair. I wanted to feel the powerful muscles of the horse shifting underneath me as it galloped. I wanted to feel like I wasn’t somebody’s captive.
But this is better than nothing.
“Okay,” I agree.
Five minutes later, I’m seated on Aurora as we walk down a trail in an open field. Shadow keeps looking over at his mare, making sure she’s okay.
“How long have these two been lovebirds?” I ask.
“Since they were little,” Dimitri says. “They were rescued from a neglectful owner who forgot to feed them for days at a time. They were so weak they could barely walk.”
“It was nice of you to rescue them,” I say. “They’re both so strong and healthy now.”
“They are,” he says, looking at a point far away in the distance. “But it wasn’t me. My brother, Rurik, got them. He always talked about opening an animal sanctuary one day.”
“He sounds like a noble man,” I say.
Dimitri chuckles darkly. “I wouldn’t call him noble, but he definitely has a soft spot for animals.”
Something stirs in the depths of my mind.
It’s an animal prowling around, moving restlessly all over the place. It’s knowledge of something I previously knew but forgot.
Maybe we’ve had this conversation before. Maybe he told me about his family. I can’t recall what we talked about, but it’s all shrouded by shadows and darkness.
I can’t see the movie, but I can hear the underscore.And it’s moody and heavy. I think there’s something sad about his family’s history.
“I miss my sisters,” I say out loud.
I glance over at him and see that his jaw is hard.
“Can I call Chloe?” I ask.
“No,” he says.
And with that one word, I’m reminded once again of our power dynamic. We’re not some couple who’s madly in love and can’t keep their hands off each other.
He’s my captor, and I’m his captive.
He brought me here against my will.He drugged me, just like my mother used to.
“I’ve upset you.” He sighs.
“Why can’t I talk to my family?” I ask.
“I hate to be the one to keep reminding you of this, but your family doesn’t care about you, Briar,” he says. “They never did.”
“You don’t know the first thing about my family,” I say.
“I know what they’ve done to you,” he says. “You might have it in your heart to forgive them, but I never will.”
The venomous edge to his voice causes goosebumps to rise on my arms. It reminds me that there’s more to this man than meets the eye.
“Think what you want about them, but don’t pretend you care about my well-being,” I snap. “Just because my body is attracted to yours doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten about what you’ve done.”
The horses sense the tension between us and become uneasy. I pull on Aurora’s reins, making her come to a stop.
I turn to face Dimitri.
“I know we used to be together, but you need to understand that I’m not the same person anymore. My mind and my heart aren’t the same,” I say. “The only people I have love for are my family, and you took me away from them.”
“Don’t you think I’m aware of that?” His eyes are black, bottomless pools. “Don’t you think I’m reminded of that every second of the day? I know that everything has changed between us. I don’t care if you see me as the villain in your story, but I want to make one thing crystal clear—I’m never going to give up on you. I’ll never give up on us. I’ll fight wars to win your heart again.”
I feel like I’m sinking and floating at the same time.
I’m split between two sides of me. One part of me can’t see how I could ever accept a criminal into my heart. But the other part of me already knows—this man already owns my soul.
He sighs. “Do you want to go for a walk, just the two of us? We’re making the animals skittish.”
“Okay,” I say, looking away from him.
He gets off the stallion and takes my hand as I dismount.
We let the horses roam. Dimitri doesn’t release my hand. He clutches me tighter. Without looking at me, he brings my hand to his lips and kisses it.
I hold my breath as I watch him.
“I care about you,” he says. “You know that, right?”
I don’t trust myself to speak, so I just nod.
He looks like he has more to say, but he’s too tired to say it now.
On the other hand, I’ve never felt more awake. This fire burns inside me. It’s not the raging inferno that starts when he touches me. This type of fire is slow and steady, the kind that keeps people warm in the middle of winter.
I turn to face him.
He looks so broken right now. And I just want to make him feel better.
I know that words won’t fix anything, so I communicate in the way we know so well—I get up on my tiptoes and kiss him.
He pulls me close to him as he returns the kiss.There’s desperation on his lips.
My heart gallops in my rib cage. There’s a breeze in my hair, and I feel like I’m flying. I’ve never felt more liberated before.
I’m breathless by the time we pull apart.
His hand is fisted in my hair. He looks like he doesn’t want to pull away from me—ever.
“As much as I want to do this all day, there’s something I need your help with,” he says.
He takes me to a nearby orange tree, and we sit underneath its shade. The fragrant citrus smell fills my lungs, making the whole world appear sweet and fresh. I glance up at the tree. Sunlight filters through the leaves, highlighting the dark green of the leaves and the vibrant shade of the fruit. I reach for one of the oranges, but it’s just out of reach.
Dimitri plucks one and hands it to me.
That is when I notice he’s holding something else in his hand. It’s a photograph.
“What is that?” I ask him.
He hands it to me. “Do you recognize the people?”
I shake my head.
“What about the house?” he asks. “You don’t recognize that either?”
Again, I shake my head. “Am I supposed to?”
“It’s your mother’s side of the family, Briar,” he says.
He watches me as I look at the photograph through new eyes.
These people were my relatives, the ones who died in the fire.
If it weren’t for the tragic accident, they’d still be in my life today. I would have had aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins. I wonder if everything would have been different if they were still in the picture. Maybe I would have had a normal childhood instead of all this trauma.
“You’ve never seen photographs of them?” he asks.
“Mother didn’t like talking about her past,” I say. “And that included her family.”
“And you never found that odd?”
“There were weirder things in our lives,” I reply, thinking about the malicious games and the hospital visits.
Usually, I do everything I can not to think about that point in my life. It serves no purpose except to ruin the happiness of my current reality.But other times, it’s all I can think about. The memories feel deep enough to drown me.
I tilt my head at the photograph.
A girl stands in the center. A hat covers her eyes, but I recognize the loose blonde curls. And the signature smile—like she knows a secret that could end your life.
My mother.
I clear my throat and scan the photograph for signs of her twin sister.
“You’re looking for the twin, aren’t you?” Dimitri asks.
I nod, biting down on my lower lip.
“She’s not in the photograph,” he says.
I don’t stop looking for her. I feel like I’m missing something when I look at this photograph.
“It doesn’t make any sense, though,” I say. “Why would they hide the twin sister? And if they were separated at birth for whatever reason, what’s the reason for that? “
“I don’t know, Briar,” he says. “We’re still looking into it.”
“Have you found anything?” I ask.
He purses his lips. And even though he doesn’t say a word, I immediately know that there’s something he’s not telling me.
“Dimitri, you’re allowed to have your secrets, but not when they involve my family,” I say. “If you know something, I want to hear it.”
He sighs. “Arson.”
“What?”
“The fire,” he says. “The lead detective who investigated the case believed it wasn’t accidental, but arson.”
I look at the opulent mansion. It’s a plantation house with tall white pillars standing proudly before it.
“Who instigated it?” I ask. “Did they have any enemies?”
“We don’t know for certain yet,” he says. His jaw is hard.
“But you have your suspicions,” I say.
Dimitri glances over at me.
“I think your mother started the fire,” he says. “I don’t have any proof yet, but it’s what my gut tells me. It’s what this photograph is trying to tell me.”
To hear my own thoughts come out of Dimitri’s mouth is chilling to say the least.
“Put this away,” I say, handing the photograph back to him. “I don’t want to look at it anymore.”
Even though nothing about the day has changed, it feels like a dark shadow has been cast over us. Sunlight spills on my skin, but it doesn’t take away the chill in my bones. Birds chirp above me, but it doesn’t erase the hollow ringing in my head.
Something wrong happened all those years ago.
Something very, very wrong.