Chapter 4
Tavien and Leon walk ahead of us, discussing the elixir, as we leave the Healer’s Hall and head to our rooms. Nueena and I trail behind them, our arms tightly locked together, passing by rows of windows in silence.
The stars are fading, the purple sky peeking out in greeting.
After wishing Nueena and Tavien a few hours of rest, Leon and I head straight to my bathing chamber, where I fill the tub with steaming water and soap. Bubbles rise merrily, resistant to our somber mood. “Get in.”
He disrobes and I tear off my ruined gown. Hand in hand, we descend into the small steaming pool. A few small balls of dim light illuminate us.
Naked before me, his bruised body on full display, I can see everything he endured.
Burn marks are healing but the fresh pink takes up most of his torso.
The closed slash on his arm is a reminder of how much he cares for me, but the worst is his stomach, where the burning sword gutted him, leaving behind a twisted, crimson scar.
An ache in my throat builds and tightens.
He quickly sits on the underwater ledge, pulling me onto his lap.
We face each other but we don’t speak, and his palms slide up my waist, touching as much skin as possible before coming up to cup my face.
Our time in the garden before the attack was perfect. He was perfect. The memory of his mouth on mine comes rushing back, paired with his strong hands on my hips and his ravenous tongue. I will need to give him a proper thank-you for that mind-blowing orgasm.
And thank him for saving my life.
Our lips meet, his soft and gentle, slowly tasting. Evidence we are both here, safe and whole.
I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing into him, needing skin to skin to remind myself this is real, and he wasn’t taken from me.
His touch fills me with a warm lightness and finally allows my heart to stop beating like it’s trying to take flight inside my rib cage.
When we break apart, we rest our foreheads together, breathing deeply of each other. Leon’s hand goes to the back of my head to bring my lips back to his, but I hiss in pain. My scalp aches.
Leon’s eyes go cold. “He hurt you. Why didn’t you tell the healer?”
“I will be fine by morning. Please do not fret. It's you I’m worried about.”
He takes a shuddering breath. “They are all dead.” His green eyes go unfocused, his words likely a reminder for himself more so than for me.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
His attention returns to me, his hands wandering back to my waist. “Whatever for?”
“You didn’t let them take me.”
“I would never let them take you from me. You have my blood and my blade. Remember? To heal you when you need it, to protect and defend, to care for and serve you in all ways. Izadella, you are my queen, and I am yours to command. Forever.”
“I do not wish for your servitude. I only want you.”
“Oh, it is so much more than servitude. It is my utter surrender.” His lips brush my cheek. “My only desire.” He moves his head and repeats the kiss on the other cheek. “It would ruin me if harm ever came to you.”
Leon lifts me off him, turns my body away, and draws me back into his lap.
He grabs some cleansing oil, and I sigh deeply as he pours the fragrant mixture into my hair.
With the gentlest of care, his hands coax away the pain of the evening and melt the tension that had made a dwelling there, all of it dissolving under his tender touch.
I submerge myself to rinse, the pain gone, and then it is his turn. I return to his lap, Leon tugging me closer to him. Bubbles trailing my touch, I move my hands up to his shoulders and through his hair, careful of his newly healed arm.
The ephemeral nature of a mortal existence mocks me with every rhythmic beat of his heart beneath mine.
His stubble is rough against my palms when I cup his face.
“You fought so hard to keep me alive tonight but think of what your death would do to me. I know you want to protect me, but you cannot die to do so. It would destroy me. You could go through all the trouble of dying to keep me safe just to be the one who lands the final blow when I die of a broken heart. Don’t die just to kill me, Leon. ”
He gapes at me, his beautiful face frozen. I should tell him I love him, to be honest, the way he has always been with me, but tonight does not feel right. So much has been lost.
Whoever seeks the crown knows who I am and whom I love. What lengths will they go to get it back?
We may have no way to save the mortals without the anafaea flower. Without the elixir, without the healing it would bring, the mortals are too weak to stand up to Grayden, too weak to fight.
Grayden will get them all killed in his useless war with Kalvorn.
His quest for revenge and power.
And Leon. Tonight proved how much I need him, but I need him alive. He was lucky tonight; he might not be next time.
Mortals are breakable, their lives over in a flash.
There is no path for us that leads to a happy ending.
His death might come from trying to protect me or from the madness his stubbornness will bring. We may find a way to be happy for a time, but then I would be forced to watch age and decay ravage his body, robbing me of a lifetime with the man I love.
“Well,” he says, breaking the silence, “it is a very good thing I have no plans to die. I promise you this: you will have a long and beautiful life ahead of you. I just wish to be a part of it for as long as you will have me.”
Our lips meet again, slow and sweet. I can only hope he tastes all the love I have for him even if I cannot speak it. May he know with every touch and taste that I say it in the only way I can right now.
Once we are both clean, we leave the small pool. The water drains, and with it, my hope for the mortals washes away.
He drapes us in plush towels and draws me near again. I cling to him, and he chuckles, leaning down to place a delicate kiss on my forehead.
Leon leads me to my bed, my limbs heavy with exhaustion. He goes to my wardrobe and pulls out a soft sleep dress with two high slits, the color of a summer sunset. Its bright colors are so at odds with the hopelessness that has taken up residence within me.
Ellova has always been safe; it’s my home.
Maybe I’m being selfish by staying here, grasping on to the shattered belief in the palace’s safety. What if it had been Nueena with me instead of Leon? Would they have tried to kill their future Realm Keeper?
They would have lost that battle, but she still could have gotten hurt.
Leon stands before me. “Lift your arms for me. You need rest.”
I do what he asks, overwhelmed with gratitude for him, and he slips the vibrant fabric over me. He pulls back the covers, and I crawl in. The sheets still smell like strawberry and herbs. Leon leaves for the briefest of moments before returning in his own night attire.
Neither of us speaks. He simply pulls back the bedding, gently fanning them out over us.
The crystal lights dim and then fade out, leaving us in darkness.
Before I am able to move to him, demanding his warmth and comfort, one arm reaches around my back and the other hooks a hand under my thigh, pulling me to drape over his naked chest. Callused fingers slowly trace the back of my exposed thigh, his other hand tangles gently in my hair.
A flash of the male who attacked us invades my memory, my tiredness dissolving. The lifeless body jerks once as Leon pulls my dagger from the ghastly remnants of his eye socket.
The strands of my hair slip through Leon’s fingers as I lift my head, my fae sight revealing the outline of his features painted in shadows. His breaths are easy, body relaxed, a man not about to lose a moment of sleep over the horrors of today.
I will a crystal light to return and he blinks at the sudden glow.
“You killed tonight. As a man of medicine, do you have complicated feelings on the matter? Healers are sworn to protect life.” I lean my head back in surprise at the sudden smirk that pulls on his lips in the dim light of the single crystal that floats in the corner.
“Did you think my vows to protect and defend you were just pretty words? That the blood seeping into the soil tonight was a vow so easily broken? If I hadn’t killed them, they would have taken you, hurt you, maybe worse.
” He pushes a lock of hair behind my ear.
“There is no amount of blood I would not spill to keep you near me.”
“I know you think death is a fair price to protect me, but—”
His response is to pull me back down to him, returning me to his chest. “Turn the light back off, Izadella.”
He is as infuriating as he is honorable, and I cannot resist him. Once I am nestled against him again, the crystal restores us into darkness, and his hand continues its gentle caress on my body.
“You are all I care about. Those men deserved death because they came to harm you. Their deaths were kind. Swift. Full of mercy compared to what they offered me. Had there been time, I would have had them experience pain only a healer’s hand can cause.
I have studied every detail of the body, spent decades of research on every tendon and ligament, vein and bone.
Healers have dark knowledge of the precise ways to slice and break and stitch back together for an agonizingly slow death.
I know how to keep a soul on the brink of leisurely execution but never granting it the sweet relief of eternal rest.”
The violence in what he says, the truth in it, steals the breath from my lungs. He means every word. There is nothing he won’t do for me, no one he won’t kill. I cannot decide if this terrifies me or thrills me. Perhaps both?
I do not have any words in response to that, but we do not need them tonight. My lips find his in the dark and I am met with his mouth, hungry for mine. Leon’s arms move around my waist. The bloodshed of the evening fades with each moment in his arms, my sense of safety slowly returning.
We lie there together, limbs and tongues entwined, ’til the press of our lips becomes lazy, and I pull back.
“I—” It almost slips past, that I love him. The words desperate to be let out. In answer, he kisses me one last time before I lay my cheek down on his skin, ready to end the pleasure and pain of today.
His soothing touch and warm body bring me closer to sleep as his hands move over my back in comforting circles, reassuring me I am gifted one more day with him.
I cannot escape the crushing weight that he has my whole heart in his mortal hands. No matter what he does, his death will shatter it, whether it is tomorrow or in fifty years.
Only time will tell if I will survive it.