Chapter 34
LEON
Nueena is stunned into silence, something I doubt happens very often, but she soon finds her words. “Why did you abdicate?”
Her suspicious look brings a bitter taste to my mouth. She’s right not to trust me. I would feel the same in her position, but I’m at a loss as to how to help her understand.
I don’t want to have this conversation with anyone but Izadella. This conversation should be private. It should have happened in the bathing pool, just Izadella and me. She deserves to be the first to know how I feel about her, what I’m willing to give up, what I have given up.
The seeping pain in my chest returns. She should have given me a moment to explain. I thought I’d earned that.
I’d assumed that she felt what I felt; that she knew I would never hurt her.
I sigh deeply. “Because I doubt Izadella will accept my feelings for her if she believes I only want to be with her because of the crown. I will be honest with her that I was trying to get the crown in Adreania, that it was my birthright, but I do not want it anymore. I’m in love with Izadella and want to be with her, wherever she is, whoever she is.
She’s made it clear she wants nothing to do with ruling and that’s fine.
She doesn’t need to rule to change the landscape of the kingdoms.”
Nueena eyes me suspiciously. “You really gave up your throne just for her?”
“She is my soulbonded, my future Zemra. I can feel it. There is nothing I wouldn’t give up for Izadella. No title or kingdom is worth losing her. In my absence, my brother has been a kind king. He will continue to be a just and honorable—”
“Well, I certainly wouldn't call him that, with the whole marrying-your-betrothed bit.”
All eyes turn to my cousin Sailon as he enters the room. He is shorter than I, but we have the same build. His green eyes are lit with mischief. Any excitement I had for reuniting with him dies. That was not something Nueena needed to know at this moment.
“Shut your mouth!” Callen hisses at our cousin.
“Betrothed!'” Nueena says, her fist balling. “You disgraceful brute.”
Fucking Sailon. I take a deep breath before turning to face my brother.
Guilt slowly bleeds into Callen’s features.
“Sailon, I am aware of that.” Speaking to Nueena, I add, “Yes, before I met Izadella, I was part of an arranged marriage. Callen and Estelle married after I sent a letter home breaking off our engagement the very night I met Izadella.” I hope Nueena can hear the sincerity in my voice.
“I risked being discovered by Grayden to send a message breaking off my marriage agreement two years ago. I knew Izadella was my future Zemra the moment I met her. I could neither explain it nor deny it. I would marry her or no one at all.”
Callen looks pale but straightens his shoulders.
“That was admirable of you but,” He clears his throat.
“—I believe this conversation would be best had in private.” He glances wearily at Nueena.
The last thing I need is to have Nueena running to Izadella and telling her that I was engaged to a woman I hadn't seen in over a hundred years on the night she and I met, but I will not hold any truth back from her.
“No, Nueena can hear all of this,” I say flatly. She is still glaring at me when I turn to explain, “Estelle and I only met once when we were dewlings. She was the daughter of my father’s war advisor.”
Nueena looks unimpressed with this new information.
I continue, “A few years later, I received a letter from my mother on our arranged marriage while studying medicine in Versairen. Like everything when it came to my mother, it was short and to the point, only stating that once I returned to Kalvorn with the crown, I would be wed to a suitable noble she had selected to be my future queen. Since we didn’t know how long I would be gone, a royal wedding would eventually be planned if I returned with the crown. ”
An arranged marriage was not a surprise. My parents did not marry for love, and I did not expect anything more. When I was young, the idea of a queen when I returned was alluring, but as the decades passed, it was just another burden placed on me like all the rest.
Earn a place of esteem within medicine to be sought after by royals, become Jedrick’s personal healer in Adreania, retrieve my ancestor’s crown, return to Kalvorn, take my place as king, enter into a loveless marriage to someone of noble birth, and rule a kingdom I haven’t been in for over a century. Give every part of me to my kingdom.
Give. Give. Give.
“Leon did not do anything wrong,” Callen says in my defense.
I send him a small smile of gratitude.
“How can I believe anything you say?” she asks, hands on her hips.
“The night I met Izadella, she told me she was married with children, and I knew she and I didn’t have a future, but it still felt…
wrong for me to be pining after someone with Estelle at home waiting for me.
Estelle deserved to find someone who could love her, and apparently, she did.
I had been gone much longer than I planned, since I missed my opportunity with Jedrick’s father. ”
Callen moves closer to me. “Leon…maybe this isn’t…”
I turn to Nueena. “That’s why I was in Adreania, to try and take back my birthright as the descendant of Queen Inara and Prince Kalden.
The crown should have been mine. I wanted it back.
Jedrick was letting his people die and Grayden would be far worse.
The crown protected him, though.” I turn to my brother.
“What is Sailon referring to? What else happened while I was gone?”
Callen gulps. “Yes, well. You were gone for a long time. After so many years of waiting before she even arrived, she was devastated that I kept pushing the wedding date without any way to explain beyond exposing our ruse. She wrote countless letters, asking to come to the castle and go through a proper courtship, to plan the wedding. Eventually her horrible father got tired of waiting and left her on the castle steps in the middle of the night ten years ago, demanding she be made queen or she would be disowned, the alliances between our families broken. We couldn’t delay forever when everyone thought I was you.
There was no reason to continue extending the timeline, so we moved her into the castle. I…we…got close.”
“Close?” I raise one eyebrow at his tone.
My only thoughts of Estelle over the years were how difficult it must be to wait for endless decades for a royal marriage she was promised so long ago, a union that kept being nudged further into the future with each year I was gone.
I certainly didn’t expect love, but I had hoped to make it up to her by being an attentive and respectful husband, someone she might wish to build a friendship with.
“Hello, Zilas,” says a small voice behind me.
I turn to face our newest guest, who I can only assume is my new sister-in-law. “Hello, Estelle. You look well.”
Dark brown ringlets hang down her back. Her wide blue eyes shine above a sprinkling of freckles, her sharply pointed ears sticking out between her curls.
My eyes immediately go down to her rounded belly and the two children she is with.
Her young son gleefully tries to escape the tight hold Estelle has on his hand.
A son who appears to be older than their marriage.
On her other side is a girl with messy curls who must be at least nine. While the prince looks like Callen and me at that age, she is a perfect copy of Estelle.
She notices her mother’s apprehension and leans into her side.
So, Callen’s and Estelle’s feelings went well beyond the two years of marriage they shared, years before I had broken off our arrangement.
Maybe I should feel betrayed that my brother fathered multiple children with my fiancée while I was away risking my life, but the anger never comes.
Callen said Estelle arrived ten years ago; she must have conceived the first year she was here.
If I had returned a decade ago, I would have had to marry her and never met Izadella, would have robbed my beloved brother of his own happy ending.
Nausea rises at the thought.
Estelle looks guilt-ridden and tense, barely able to walk so late in her pregnancy but clearly ready to grab the little ones and leave at the slightest sign of conflict between my brother and me.
When I glance back at my brother, he is staring at his wife, devotion and love radiating off him. I have a niece and nephew.
The realization warms me.
Two young royals of Kalvorn, just like Callen and I were. A princess who will one day rule Kalvorn.
“This is Elona, our daughter,” Estelle says softly.
The young princess politely curtsies before looking around me and waving at Nueena and Tavien. He seems amused by all of this. Nueena gives Elona a kind nod of acknowledgment but returns to glaring at me.
“Baba!” the young prince happily yells at my brother, continuing to reach out for him.
I follow as Callen walks towards Estelle and both children smile up at him with adoration. He picks up the youngest with the softest expression.
“Atlas, this is my brother, Leon, your uncle,” Callen says to his son.
The boy grins wildly at me. He reaches out with his tiny hands, and I gently take him from my brother.
I find myself in awe that these dewlings are of my blood, and I wish yet again that Izadella were here to meet my family. That she would want to be part of this, if she ever forgives me. I never saw myself as a father, but did she want children?
Whenever I thought about our uncertain future, it was just the two of us and that’s all I desired.
“We have much to discuss,” Callen says quietly.
How the hell did he think he could hide this when I returned if I never ended the engagement? Sleeping with the king’s promised bride wasn’t treason, but infidelity was the highest form of disloyalty even if it all worked out for the best.
I hand him back his son. “And another time we shall.”
Nueena and Tavien take in all of this, letting us have our complicated family moment, and I am grateful for it, but Callen has his family with his mate and I’m desperate to find mine.
I return to Nueena. “I may not know where Izadella is, but now that you’ve told me she is missing, you can’t possibly expect me to let you leave without me.
If you do, I will follow. She can reject me all over again, she can hate me for it, but until I know she is safe, I will not stop searching for her. ”
Nueena shakes her head. “When I find her, I will let her know all of this. She can decide if and when she seeks you out again. I will personally bring her to you if—”
“No, I am leaving with you.” My words are final.
Nueena will not leave without me. She opens her mouth to argue but I angrily rip open the top of my shirt.
The emerald buttons scatter, echoing around the throne room floor.
My white enervation scars crawl up my chest. “Now do you believe how much I love her? Breaking her heart broke mine and I need to see her. One. Last. Time.”
Nueena and Tavien wear mirrored expressions of horror, glancing at each other. Something like mourning reflects back but I do not feel it is for me.
Her eyes are glossy when she finally nods. “You are neither forgiven nor trusted, healer. We can go to the cottage. If she’s still in the forest, she’s probably there.”
I turn to my brother, about to apologize for my abrupt departure, but he is already behind me with a dark green traveling cloak and our father’s sword.
“I would like to meet this Izadella. Bring her home.” Callen embraces me and emotion clogs my throat. He slips me some kind of rock.
When I pull back, two moonstones gleam in my palm.
“These are traveling crystals; they use the same magic as portal trees. Crush it and it will immediately bring you here. I do not want you ever to be far from home without a way to return quickly again.”
Overwhelmed by my brother’s care and everything that has happened in the past day, I push down the desperate gratitude and despair, not letting it overtake me here.
“I will see you soon. All of you. We will have a proper reunion when that time comes.” No matter how much I loath to leave my family, I have to find Izadella.
She must know the truth about who I am and how much I love her before my time runs out, but dread consumes me.
Something is wrong; I can feel it. We must find her before it’s too late.
Izadella, my love, I’m coming for you. Hold on.