Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Daciana
It’s raining outside. I hate the rain.
I stand at the window, arms wrapped tight around my stomach, watching the drops streak down the glass like tears. Each one feels like it’s pulling something out of me, some piece of myself I can’t afford to lose.
“Is something bothering you?”
Kieran’s voice cuts through my spiral, and I stiffen. “No.”
“You’ve been standing there for some time now.”
I press my lips together. “I just don’t like it when it rains.”
“May I ask why?”
The question is careful, measured, but it cracks something open inside me. “I just feel unbearably sad.”
The words escape before I can stop them, raw and honest in a way I never intended. I inhale sharply. Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I clear my throat hard, forcing the vulnerability back down where it belongs.
I turn to face him, needing a distraction. He’s sitting on the edge of my bed, shirtless, the bandage around his torso stark white against his tanned skin. “Why is your arrow wound healing so slowly?”
His jaw tightens. “The poison. It’s mostly neutralized, but it continues to affect my healing.”
“How long until—”
“I’ll leave tonight,” he says, his intense eyes holding mine. “Under cover of darkness.”
“Good.” The word comes out sharper than I mean it to, but I don’t take it back.
He looks around my small room now, and I can practically feel him cataloging every detail. The sparse furniture. The lack of personal touches. The emptiness of it all.
“Is your family in the capital?”
The question hits me like a slap. My eyes narrow. “Why are you asking?”
Kieran meets my gaze steadily. “I find myself curious about you.”
“My parents are back at my pack. I don’t see them.”
“Why not?”
I turn to the window again, focusing on the rain instead of the man behind me.
This is the first time since I came to the palace that I’ve let myself think about them.
The first time I’ve allowed their faces to surface in my mind.
I don’t want to answer. I should tell this man to mind his own business, to stop asking questions that cut too deep.
But after a moment, the answer slips out anyway.
“Because they were willing to sacrifice me.”
My lips twist bitterly, but Kieran can’t see my face. I can’t see his, either, but his expression must have changed; I can feel the weight of his frown even with my back turned.
“I don’t understand.”
I shouldn’t tell him. I shouldn’t tell this alpha anything about my life, my pain, my complete and utter destruction at the hands of people who were supposed to love me. But maybe that’s exactly why the words start to spill out of me.
“When Astra escaped the pack, Selene and I helped her.” The memory burns. “My uncle was furious. He agreed with our alpha to put the blame on me, and my parents—” My voice cracks, and I hate myself for it. “My parents agreed. I haven’t seen them since.”
The silence stretches between us, heavy with things unsaid.
“Do you miss them?”
The question is so soft, so unexpectedly gentle, that I want to scream. “You ask a lot of questions about things that have nothing to do with you.”
Something flickers in the air between us—regret, maybe. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I need to move. Need to do something other than stand here and let him see too much. “I’ll get you some food. And tonight, you leave. You’ve been here for two days already.”
As I walk past him, trying to ignore how close we are in this tiny room, his voice stops me. “Have you told the Queen about the attack on us?”
I hesitate, my hand on the doorknob. “No.”
When I glance back, I catch the relief that flashes across his face.
It’s there and gone in an instant, but I see it.
And it makes everything more complicated.
He asked me not to tell anyone, didn’t want to face the political ramifications if word got out that he’d been injured, that he’d been vulnerable. I agreed in the moment, but now…
“I should go,” I mutter, but I don’t move. Can’t move. Something holds me here, rooted to the spot.
Finally, I manage to flee into the hallway, my heart hammering against my ribs.
Why haven’t I told Astra? She’s my friend.
My queen. Even if Kieran did ask me to keep quiet, I should have told her.
Should have let her know that an alpha was wounded in her territory, that something happened that could affect the fragile peace between our packs.
But instead, I’ve hidden him in my room. Tended his wounds. Let him ask me questions I’ve never answered for anyone.
The rain pounds harder against the roof, each drop a reminder of all the things I’m trying not to feel. All the things I’m failing not to feel.
I lean against the wall, pressing my palms flat against the cool stone.
What am I doing?
And more terrifying still: Why can’t I make myself stop?
I haven’t seen Kieran since he left my room three nights ago. I thought that would be the end of it.
Instead, the nightmares are getting worse.
They’ve plagued me for months, ever since I helped Astra escape. But lately, they’ve intensified. New images bleed into the old ones. Recent blood mixing with ancient guilt.
I wake up gasping, sheets twisted around my legs, heart racing like I’ve run for miles. Every single night. Sometimes twice.
By the time my shift with Astra ends and another guard takes over, I’m practically swaying on my feet. I need sleep. Real sleep. Not the fractured, terror-filled hours I’ve been having.
That’s why I find myself heading toward the healers’ compound instead of my room.
The compound is massive—a sprawling collection of buildings where the sick and injured are tended to. I stop one of the younger healers hurrying past, her arms full of bandages.
“Where’s Selene?”
“Treatment wing, I think.”
I weave through the corridors, past rooms where healers work and patients rest, until I find her. She is bent over a table, grinding herbs with another healer, discussing dosages in that precise way of hers.
When she looks up and sees me, her face goes pale. “Daciana.” She straightens immediately, concern flooding her features. “What’s wrong? You look like death warmed over.”
There’s a glow to Selene that wasn’t there before. Being mated suits her. She looks happier, softer somehow. It makes the exhaustion weighing on me feel even heavier in comparison.
The other healer glances between us, then quietly excuses herself.
“I’m having trouble sleeping,” I admit, sounding as rough as I feel.
“Trouble sleeping or not sleeping at all?” She crosses to me, professional now, her eyes scanning my face. “How long has this been going on?”
I press my lips together. “I’m having constant nightmares.”
Her brows draw together. “Nightmares? What kind of—”
“Does it matter?” The snap in my voice surprises us both. I soften my tone. “I just need something to help me sleep through the night. Something strong.”
She studies me for a long moment, and I can see her piecing things together—the shadows under my eyes, the tremor in my hands, the hollowness that has settled into my bones.
Finally, she nods. “Alright. Wait here.”
She disappears into the storage room and returns with a small pouch of dried herbs, which she presses into my palm.
“Make tea with this before you go to bed. It’ll knock you out for at least six hours.
No dreams, no waking.” Her grip tightens on my wrist. “But Daciana, this isn’t a permanent solution.
Whatever’s causing these nightmares, you need to deal with it.
You can’t just drug yourself to sleep every night. ”
“I know.” I pocket the herbs quickly. “Thank you.”
I turn to leave, but she stops me. “Daciana, if you need to talk—”
“I’m fine.” The lie tastes bitter. “Really. Thank you, Selene.”
I leave before she can push any further, before she can see how close I am to breaking.
I’m so tired, but my day isn’t over yet. I still have one more thing to do.
The forest is quiet when I reach the site of the attack.
I’ve been meaning to investigate properly, but between my duties and the nightmares eating away at my consciousness, I haven’t had the chance.
Now, in the pale afternoon light, I summon three of the wild wolves.
They materialize from the shadows, eyes bright and intelligent.
“Search,” I murmur. “Find anything that doesn’t belong.”
They spread out, noses to the ground, and I start my own sweep of the area. The rain has washed away most traces, but not everything. There—a boot print in the mud beneath an overhanging rock. Deep treads. Heavy. And there, fifteen feet away, another. Different pattern. Smaller.
My stomach drops.
Two shooters. This wasn’t random. It was coordinated.
“What are you doing?”
I spin, one hand going to my blade. Seth stands at the edge of the clearing, arms crossed, expression unreadable.
“Commander.” I straighten. “I was just—”
His eyes drop to my other hand. To the broken arrow shaft I picked up moments ago.
Shit. At least the wolves are out of sight, hidden by the trees.
“What’s going on, Daciana?”
I could lie. Should lie. But Seth isn’t stupid, and the evidence is literally in my hands. “There was an incident. A few days ago.”
“What kind of incident?”
“Alpha Kieran was attacked. I was with him when it happened.”
“You were with him?” His voice drops dangerously low. “Alpha Kieran was attacked, and you didn’t report it to me?”
“He asked me not to tell anyone. Said it could cause political problems if word got out that—”
“I don’t give a damn what he asked!” Seth shouts. “An alpha was attacked on our lands. That’s a massive diplomatic incident, Daciana. I should have been informed immediately. And you were there? You witnessed it?”
Heat floods my face. “Yes.”
“Do you understand what you’ve done?” He steps closer. I’ve never seen him this angry. “You kept this from your commander. You chose to protect him over your duty. Over protocol.”