Chapter 9
“Ye ken, ye dinnae have to speak to Masie like that.”
The words left Piper’s mouth before she could think better of them. Elijah had almost gotten to the door when he paused. The silence that followed felt heavy, oppressive.
He turned to look at her, his expression unreadable. “What?”
“I mean…” Piper’s hands twisted together in front of her. “Ye dinnae have to be so harsh with her. She’s just a young girl.”
“A young girl who’s been climbin’ in and out of castle windows out of mischief?” Elijah’s voice was tight. “A young girl who just spoke to ye like that? . Ye think that deserves gentle treatment?”
“Maybe ye could be more understandin’.”
“That’s nae yer concern.”
“Ye made it me concern when ye hired me to be her governess.” Piper’s chin lifted. “How am I supposed to teach a child who hates me? Who thinks I’m here to steal her faither’s affection?”
“She’ll come around.” Elijah crossed his arms over his chest. “Give her time.”
“Will she? Or will she just find more creative ways to make me life miserable?” Piper shook her head. “Ye need to talk to her. Really talk to her. About why she’s so angry. About what she needs from ye.”
“I daenae need ye tellin’ me how to raise me own children.” His voice had gone dangerously quiet.
“Then maybe ye shouldnae have hired someone to teach them if ye’re nae willin’ to listen to what they need!”
The words hung in the air between them. Piper immediately regretted them—she’d gone too far, spoken too freely—but she couldn’t take them back now.
Elijah took a step toward her. “Ye’re here to teach them readin’, writin’, French, mathematics. That’s what the contract says. It says nothin’ about ye givin’ me advice on how to be a faither.”
“Because ye’re doin’ such a wonderful job of it on yer own?” The words escaped before Piper could stop them.
“What did ye just say?”
“I said…” Piper forced herself to hold his gaze, even though every instinct screamed at her to back down.
“I said ye’re nae doin’ a good job. Yer daughter is climbin’ out of windows in the middle of the night, and ye dinnae even ken about it.
She’s desperate for yer attention, and ye’re givin’ her anger instead. And yer son…”
“Daenae,” Elijah warned, his voice dropping to a growl. “Daenae presume to tell me about me own children when ye’ve been here less than a day.”
“Someone needs to tell ye! Because ye’re so busy broodin’ over yer dead wife!”
Piper knew she’d crossed a line. Knew it by the way Elijah’s whole body went rigid, by the way his green eyes darkened to something almost black.
“Ye ken nothin’ about me wife,” he said, his voice deadly quiet. “Nothin’ about what happened to her.”
“Then tell me!” Piper threw her hands up. “Explain it to me! Because right now, all I see is a man who’s so afraid of failin’ his children that he’s guaranteed he will by refusin’ to even try!”
“Ye’re here to teach them,” Elijah repeated, each word clipped. “To give them lessons. That’s all. Leave the discipline and the raisin’ to me.”
“So I’m supposed to just ignore when they’re hurtin’? Just teach them their letters and pretend I daenae see the pain in their eyes?”
“Aye. That’s exactly what ye’re supposed to do.”
“Well, I cannae.” Piper’s voice shook now, but she didn’t back down. “I cannae stand by and watch children suffer when I could help them. When I could at least try to make things better.”
“That’s nae yer decision to make.”
“Then maybe ye hired the wrong person!” Piper’s frustration boiled over.
“Because I’m nae the kind of woman who just follows orders without question.
I’m nae the kind who’ll keep her mouth shut when she sees somethin’ wrong.
So, if that’s what ye want, if ye want someone who’ll just nod and smile and never challenge ye, then ye should have said so before I signed that contract! ”
“The contract ye signed says ye’ll work for me,” Elijah said, his voice hard. “That ye’ll do what I tell ye to do. That ye’re part of me household, under me authority.”
“It also says I can leave anytime I want!” Piper shot back. “So maybe if ye daenae like me speakin’ me mind, it’s nae too late to null it. To send me on me way and find yerself a more biddable governess who willnae question anythin’ ye do!”
“Is that what ye want?” Elijah took another step toward her, closing the distance between them. “To leave?”
“I want—” Piper stopped, her breath catching as she realized how close he was now.
Close enough that she could see the muscle ticking in his jaw.
Close enough to smell leather, pine, and something uniquely him.
“I want to help yer children! I want to teach them and guide them and actually make a difference in their lives! But I cannae do that if ye’re goin’ to fight me at every turn! ”
“Ye’re nae here to make decisions about their upbringin’.”
“I’m nae tryin’ to make decisions! I’m tryin’ to give ye advice that ye clearly need!”
“I daenae need advice from someone who’s been here for all of five hours!”
“Well, maybe ye should take advice from someone who actually had terrible parents!” Piper’s voice rose.
“Someone who kens what it’s like to be ignored and pushed aside and made to feel like ye’re nae worth yer parents’ time!
Because that’s what ye’re doin’ to Masie and Connor, whether ye realize it or nae! ”
Elijah was right in front of her now, so close that Piper had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes. The air between them crackled with tension—anger and something else, something that made her skin feel too hot and too tight.
“Ye daenae get to speak to me like this,” he said, his voice low and dangerous.
“Why nae? Because ye’re a laird?” Piper lifted her chin defiantly, refusing to be intimidated even though her heart was racing.
“Because ye’re used to everyone agreein’ with ye and tellin’ ye what ye want to hear?
Well, I’m nae like that. I cannae be like that.
So, if ye want me to stay, ye’re goin’ to have to accept that I’ll speak me mind. ”
“Ye cannae defy me, lassie.” Elijah’s voice dropped to a growl that sent shivers down her spine. His eyes were dark, dangerous, fixed on her with an intensity that stole her breath. “Ye cannae stand here in yer nightgown, arguin’ with me, challengin’ me authority, and expect me to just—”
He stopped abruptly, his jaw clenching so hard Piper could see the muscle jump beneath his beard.
“Expect ye to what?” Piper demanded, though her voice came out breathier than she intended. “To listen? To consider that maybe, just maybe, I might have a point?”
“Ye became mine the moment ye signed yer name on that contract,” Elijah said, his voice rough and raw.
“I’m nae yers,” Piper interrupted, though the words felt like a lie even as she said them. “I’m a governess. That’s all. The contract says so.”
“Does it?” His gaze dropped to her mouth, and Piper’s breath caught. “Because right now, standin’ here with ye lookin’ at me like that, with yer lips parted and yer eyes flashin’ and that ridiculous nightgown showin’ every curve of yer body—Christ, Piper, ye have nay idea what ye’re doin’ to me.”
Piper suddenly became acutely aware of what she was wearing. Or rather, what she wasn’t wearing.
The thin nightgown Amara had given her was practically transparent in the firelight, and the way Elijah was looking at her—like he wanted to devour her whole—made heat flood through her body.
“I’m nae… I dinnae…” she stammered, crossing her arms over her chest in a belated attempt at modesty.
“Daenae.” Elijah’s hand shot out, catching her wrist before she could complete the movement. His touch burned. “Daenae hide from me.”
“This is inappropriate,” Piper managed, though she made no move to pull away.
Elijah thumb stroked the inside of her wrist where her pulse hammered frantically.
Piper knew this was dangerous, reckless, everything she’d promised herself she wouldn’t allow.
But the words to tell him to stop wouldn’t come.
Because some traitorous part of her did want this. Wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted by a man like Elijah Quinn. Wanted to believe, even for a moment, that someone could look at her plump, imperfect body with desire instead of disgust.
“I…” she tried, but Elijah’s other hand came up to cup her face, his thumb brushing across her cheekbone with devastating gentleness.
Elijah made a low sound, triumph or surrender, she couldn’t tell which, and then his mouth was on hers.
The kiss was hard, demanding, nothing like the gentle touches Alexandra had once told her a first kiss should be. His lips moved against hers with a hunger that stole her breath, and when his hand slid to the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair, Piper’s knees went weak.
This isnae happenin’. This cannae be happenin’.
But it was. Elijah Quinn was kissing her. And God help her, she was kissing him back.
Her hands came up—to push him away, surely, that’s what they meant to do—but instead they fisted in his shirt, pulling him closer.
She’d never been kissed before, had no idea what she was doing, but instinct took over. When Elijah’s tongue traced her lower lip, she gasped at the sensation, and he took advantage immediately, deepening the kiss until Piper felt dizzy with it.
He wants me. He actually wants me.
The thought was dizzying, impossible. Men didn’t want women like her. Men wanted thin, beautiful women. Delicate women who looked good on their arms.
Yet here was Elijah, kissing her like she was air and he was drowning.
His hand slid from her face down to her neck, his thumb stroking the sensitive skin there where her pulse hammered. Piper shivered, and Elijah pulled back just enough to trail his lips along her jaw, down to where her heartbeat betrayed her desperate arousal.
“Ye’re drivin’ me mad, lass,” he murmured against her skin, his breath hot. “Absolutely mad. Been wantin’ to do this since ye ran into me arms in that forest.”
“I dinnae… I wasnae tryin’ to…” Piper couldn’t form a coherent sentence. Could barely think past the feel of his mouth on her neck, his hand still tangled in her hair.
“I daenae care.” Elijah’s teeth grazed her pulse point, and Piper let out a sound she’d never made before, breathy and desperate and wanton.
His hand moved lower, skimming down her side, and even through the thin fabric of the nightgown, Piper could feel the heat of his palm.
The possessiveness in his touch. She should stop this. Should push him away and remind him of his vow, of the contract, of all the reasons this was wrong.
But then his hand curved around her breast, and all rational thought fled.
“Oh,” Piper breathed, her head falling back. “Oh God.”
Elijah’s thumb brushed across her nipple through the fabric, and the sensation shot straight through her body like lightning. She’d never been touched like this. Never let anyone get close enough to even try. Never thought anyone would want to.
Except Elijah was touching her like she was precious. Like she was desired.
His hand tightened on her breast, his thumb continuing its maddening circles, and Piper couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped her lips.
The sound seemed to shatter something in Elijah and made Piper jump back. She froze, her whole body going rigid. Then she jerked back like he’d burned her, stumbling several steps away.
“Daenae,” she whispered.
Elijah gasped, running a hand through his hair. His eyes were wild, his chest heaving. “What am I doin’?”
Piper stood there, flushed and breathing hard, her body still singing from his touch. Her nipples were tight beneath the thin nightgown, and she could feel the evidence of her arousal between her thighs. She felt dizzy, confused, and desperately wanted him to come back and finish what he’d started.
“Elijah. Ye cannae do that.”
“Ye daenae think I ken that?” He took another step back, shaking his head. “That was wrong. That was so bloody wrong.”
He turned toward the door, and panic surged through Piper.
“Where are ye goin’?”
“Away from ye before I do somethin’ even more stupid.” His hand was on the latch, his knuckles white. “This cannae happen again, Piper. It cannae. Ye deserve better than… than whatever this is.”
“But…”
“Lock this door after I leave.” His voice was hard now, final. “And in the mornin’, we’ll pretend this never happened.”
Before she could respond, he was already pulling the door open.
“Goodnight, Miss Armstrong,” he said without looking back.
Then he was gone, the door closing firmly behind him with a sound that felt like the end of something before it had even begun.
Piper stood there in the middle of the room, alone, her lips still tingling from his kiss, her body still humming with unfulfilled desire, and absolutely no idea what had just happened.
Or what it meant.
Or how she was supposed to face him in the morning and pretend her world hadn’t just tilted on its axis.
She raised a trembling hand to her mouth, touching her swollen lips. She could still feel him. Could still taste him.
What just happened?
Slowly, Piper walked to the door and slid the bolt home. Then she moved to the bed and sat down, her legs no longer able to support her.
Elijah had kissed her. Had touched her. Had called her beautiful.
Why had she been so scared that she had to stop him?
Piper lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, and tried to make sense of any of it.
She couldn’t.
All she knew was that everything had changed in the space of a few minutes. And tomorrow, when she had to face Elijah Quinn across the breakfast table, she had no idea what she was going to do.
Or how she was going to survive working in the same castle as a man who could make her forget every promise she’d made to herself with just one kiss.
What have I gotten meself into?