Chapter 5 #2
Lowell leans forward, resting his chin on his palms. He’s watching me with such intensity that I’m beginning to believe that Guy’s joke about him wanting to eat me was not just a joke.
“No need to make such a spiteful face. I actually admire your commitment to such a restrictive diet,” he sighs, brows relaxing alongside his slouched shoulders.
“I’ve been pleased to hear from my second-in-command that you’re diligently assisting with the Sandpit habitat.
This is nothing more than an attempt to reward and encourage your compliance,” he says, pushing his plate down the table so that it collides with mine with a clink.
“I was certain you’d try some escape trick by now. ”
My eyes go wide at the sight of Lowell’s plate. Next to a giant slab of meat lay a bountiful mound of vegetables. My mouth waters.
While I’m not ashamed to describe myself as prideful, at moments like this, when my stomach growls so loudly I nearly keel over, I wish I could ease my dignity a sliver.
I rip my attention away from the food and back to Lowell, who revels that he caught me drooling.
I dull my expression, sucking my lips into my mouth to hide them.
“Why would I run? First, I would die in a matter of hours, and second, I’m not the monster you seem to think I am.
I want to make things better for the animals of this continent just as much as you do.
With how much you say you know me, you don’t seem to understand that there is more to me than what you’ve read. ”
With his long reach, Lowell pulls the meat-filled plate towards his side of the table, exchanging mine with his. He leans over once more to pluck the singular slab of cooked meat from his old plate, leaving only the vegetables behind.
“I could say the same about myself, you know,” he says, digging into his food without a utensil. His fangs gnash at the meat, sloppy and loud, ripping it to shreds like a hot knife through butter.
Seeing how willing Lowell was to eat the food that was meant for me, I’m doubting all suspicions that it was tainted or drugged. But then again, it’s easy to lower your guard when you’re starving.
I bite my lip, the aroma of warm, seasoned vegetables coaxing an abundance of saliva on my tongue.
I’m tentative for many reasons, but since I left for my survey, I haven’t eaten anything other than dried rations and prison gruel. It’s not helped by the grunting noises made by Lowell feasting without care, further urging me to ignore my paranoia… and my self-respect.
Ah, fuck it.
I pick up the fork and spear a floret of roasted broccoli.
Ground peppercorn sprinkled along the crown falls to the vegetables below as I lift the green floret closer, the steam warming my face.
When I place it in my mouth, I’m taken to heaven.
The flavor and texture explode across my taste-buds with such intensity I close my eyes, lolling my head back as my shoulders relax.
I chew slowly to savor the taste, a moan bubbling up from my throat.
The table shakes suddenly and my eyes shoot open. Lowell grips the edge of the table tightly, his gaze dark-yet-observant.
I swallow, nerves building in my abdomen.
Maybe he really will eat me. He looks troubled.
I clear my throat, correcting my slouched posture. I should have never let my guard drop. I do the only thing I can think to ease the tension: deflect.
“So, what makes you think I’m some sort of villain? Or is your disdain only because of my involvement in the Misya Swamp project? I’m not the only one to blame, you know,” I point out, shoveling another forkful of vegetables into my mouth. I sigh deeply with delight.
Lowell exhales so fiercely it lifts the cloth runner’s edges right off the table. He looks like he’s barely listening to me speak, his eyes glossed-over and pupils wide.
I continue to chew, aware of Lowell as he follows the path of my hand while it brings my fork from the plate to my lips.
After a few moments, he replies to my question. “Your failure to do your job is the reason the project continued. Nilsan does not have the earth’s best interest in mind, so anyone involved is my enemy. It’s as simple as that.”
I lift my eyebrows. “Do you invite all your enemies to dinner, then?”
Lowell breaks his focus on me by sloppily tossing the large, dripping slab of meat into his maw.
Just like before, his teeth slice through it like paper.
The meat slides down his throat with minimal chewing, the juices dripping down his chin and chest. “I need your expertise and compliance right now more than I want you dead. Unless you’d like to go back to your cell without dinner? That can be arranged, if you’d like.”
I purse my lips into a pout, stabbing my fork into a roast carrot that I fantasize is Lowell’s hand. Now that I’ve had a taste, I don’t want to let it go easily. Even if holding my tongue is a challenge.
Taking my silence as an answer, he continues, “Don’t misinterpret my intentions.
” His growling, hissing voice turns unusually quiet.
“It was Ginny who insisted I treat you to a proper meal. She’s convinced that improving your mood will inspire ideas, and I trust her judgment.
If I had it my way, you wouldn’t be eating at all. ”
I snort in amusement. Lowell’s tone sounds as if Ginny scolded him like a parent would a child.
“If you want to improve my mood, don’t force me to be around you,” I sass, placing a carrot between my teeth.
Lowell smirks. “Because you’re afraid of me.”
He somehow thinks there are lines to be read between. Well, he’s right, but I don’t want him to know that.
“Because you’re insufferable,” I say as a cover, the sentiment just as true.
Lowell roars a laugh, standing from his chair.
He rips the green bandana from his neck and tosses it to the ground, the thick muscles of his throat now exposed.
“No, May, I know you’re afraid of me.” He points a claw to his Adam’s apple, dragging it down to his collarbone.
“You’re terrified you’ll end up here. I can smell it on you. ”
I avert my eyes, my heart rate quickening as he approaches. Claws scrape against the ground as he walks, thundering steps shaking the glasses on the table.
I inhale, collecting my nerves. Guy warned me to play nice, but the adrenaline pumping through my blood telling me to run and fight makes the words difficult to heed. Suppressing fear is no longer my choice.
Lowell halts a few inches from me, hunched and intimidating. He tilts his head, huffing a loud breath through his flared nostrils.
My body trembles at his increased proximity, legs quivering uncontrollably beneath the table.
Don’t panic. He needs me. He won’t hurt—
He slams his fist on the table.
I cringe in reaction.
“Look at me, May,” he growls.
I reluctantly drag my gaze to meet his face. His irises are nearly glowing, his nostrils flared and his jaw tight.
“The Sandpit’s time is running out, which means your time is running out.
I’m already more than aware of your failed efforts, so don’t push me more than you’ll regret,” Lowell hisses, his fist tightening.
“The only thing keeping you alive is the organ between your ears. You don’t want to be useless to me, and Goddess forbid, don’t piss me off. Got it?”
I shift in my chair, making my scowl overly animated.
“I don’t know what you expect me to do. Revitalize an entire ecosystem with my bare hands like some fictional wizard?
I’m already doing all I can, and I’ve already told you that it would take years to change the terrain in any meaningful way,” I mumble, pushing away my empty plate.
In truth, I only had one major idea left, but it is entirely idiotic. An idea cooked up while my brain was scrambling in the heat of the sun, and not something I wanted to present to a bloodthirsty Lizardfolk.
But since my arrival, I’ve gained no intel.
Not a single inkling of anything I could present back to Nilsan, and my window to escape is steadily closing.
I’m exhausted, frustrated, and tired of Lowell’s antagonism.
The mask of my composure is steadily slipping, and with that comes the suffocating feeling of hopelessness.
My breath catches in my throat when Lowell presses his snout to my ear, his hot breath sliding down my neck. I shiver, a warmth spreading across my abdomen as my anxiety slowly dissipates.
My body is acting weird again.
The hot sensation feels similar to when I first met Lowell — like being wrapped in a warm blanket that also prickles my skin.
I don’t understand what’s happening to me, or why, but I can’t seem to stop it. The feeling is foreign, but not… bad.
“Why are you telling me that I no longer have a use for you?” he whispers, his teeth grazing my ear.
A zap of electricity shoots down my spine to between my legs, flesh tingling with goosebumps. My cheeks heat with each puff of air that licks across my skin, Lowell’s scent of musk and worn leather filling my lungs.
I swallow, suddenly feeling hot. “You wanted my knowledge, so I gave it to you. There are no short-term plans I think will be sustainable. If I tried to deceive you, you would eventually find out the truth and punish me for lying. I’m not going to beg you for my life.”
Lowell hums, sniffing my neck feverishly. “You’re not going to beg? That’s a shame,” he breathes, his tongues slipping out to trace the shell of my ear. “I’d quite like it if you did.”
I press my back deeper into the chair with surprise, eyes widening when my core twitches in reaction. I squeeze my thighs together to snuff the growing flames, my heart rate beating loudly in my eardrums.
“I’m not afraid of you. I know you need me. Your subordinates are useless without my constant instruction to build those damn fences,” I say through a tight throat. Complicated emotions ripple through me, fear and heat mixing in my lower body, fighting for control.
“You’re right. I do need you. But I’m also not known for my self-control,” he threatens. “I warned you not to push me, didn’t I? I gave you every opportunity to submit, yet you continue to misbehave.”
My gaze slips to the small area of Lowell’s exposed chest, still wet from the liquid of the meats. The cream-colored scales glisten in the candlelight, a stark contrast to the deep obsidian that runs along his head and arms.
I wonder if the scales are soft.
“Would you rather I lie to you?” I ask, gripping the table runner to restrain myself from reaching out.
Lowell chuckles in my ear, leaving a trail of saliva when he retracts his tongues. “But you’ve already been lying, sweetheart.” The vein on Lowell’s neck throbs with a heightened heartbeat, his scales rippling with each flex of his muscles.
The tension in the room becomes so thick I think I could grab hold of it.
“Lying about what? Being scared? What nonsense.” My voice betrays me, stumbling and breaking with each vowel.
Lowell’s tongues dart out to trace my jawline, leaving more sticky saliva behind. “Yes, but you’re also lying about something much more interesting.” He continues to huff my neck until every hair on my body stands on end.
My body shifts into full survival mode, my senses heightened.
Lowell sniffs me again, humming. “Among the many things you claim to think of me as… insufferable isn’t one of them.”