Chapter 19 Auria
Iran my hand along the banister as I traveled the magical sconce-lit corridor toward what I hoped was the stairwell up to our rooms. I hadn’t been down this hall before but a map of the castle had been forming in my mind a little better every week, and I was pretty sure this direction took me to the tower.
My thumb rubbed over tiny bump after tiny bump on the railing as I walked.
I expected to recognize the path soon, and the council meeting that had just ended intruded on my thoughts—the sixth council meeting I’d watched.
They’d all been ridiculous. People would agree one day and disagree the next.
I’d expected each meeting to be the last, but then the next one started with another complaint.
If I were Bylur, I’d want to rip my hair out and send them all home.
They might all see him as a potentially powerful tyrant, but I could only respect the way he didn’t lash out—
My thumb hovered on a bump that was not set as tightly as the others. I bent over to get a better look at it. The bumps were not just texturing in the railing. They were little tiny diamonds.
Impossible. Who studded their railings with diamonds?
I needed to pull one out and look at it in better light to be sure.
Of course, the other five decorative diamonds I’d pulled out to examine had all been real. This was a castle, after all.
I couldn’t help it. I stuck one of my lock picks under the edge of the jewel and wedged it out of its setting. It popped out, and I tucked it into my pocket, along with the pick. Thank you, Brittania. I would take it outside tomorrow.
I turned to follow the corridor again, but tendrils of dark shadows curled around the railing. I pulled my hand back and clutched it to my chest. It had to be Bylur, but I would never get used to shadows that looked like they lived and breathed.
“Do not turn around.” Bylur’s voice was harder than normal, almost as stiff as when he’d caught me stealing.
Oh no. Not stealing again.
I grabbed the railing in front of me and gripped it hard. I would not turn around, not even with the threat of an angry Bylur.
I felt him stand so close behind me that his shadows brushed against my body. “What is in your pocket?”
“Lock picks,” I answered automatically, then cringed, knowing that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
He moved closer, caging me with his arms and gripping the railing right next to my hands. He was close, so close I felt his chest rise and fall. Was he debating what to say? Probably something about his wife lying. A heat ran through me. I didn’t want him to worry about me lying, but—
Oh, how I struggled to trust him to still want to keep me safe and happy when we both knew I was stealing.
Especially after he already asked me not to steal the bread.
I could duck under his arms and run away, but to what purpose?
I was trapped in his kingdom even more surely than I was trapped in his arms.
Rat squawked and flew into Bylur’s face again.
I didn’t dare turn to look at him, but I could imagine his indignation as he came looking for me and found me essentially pinned by Bylur.
Bylur didn’t move, despite the bird’s attack.
I pulled a few seeds out of my pocket and threw them on the floor.
Rat squawked defiantly a few more times but settled on the ground and started cracking open sunflower seeds.
Bylur’s knuckles on the railing turned white, making a stark contrast with the black tips of his fingers.
It shouldn’t matter, but I hated seeing him stressed over something I could fix.
And there was nothing more to lose now from being honest. “Also a diamond. I think.” I blurted out in a breathy whisper.
“I’m not entirely sure, and I was hoping to take it out into the sunlight to get a better look at it tomorrow.
I can bring it back after that, if you’d like. ”
Bylur’s fingers relaxed against the railing, and he bent his head down by my ear. “Have you collected any other jewels to get a better look at them?”
My breath caught. He knew. All the times I thought I’d been alone in the castle, and he knew. I nodded my head, unable to lie to him but also unable to admit to stealing while I’d been here.
He straightened back up, so his voice came just above my head. “Out loud, please.”
“Why does it matter?” I panted. “You obviously know already.”
“It matters,” he whispered, “because I need to know my wife will not lie to me.”
“Then yes.” My mouth was moving ahead of my thoughts now, just spilling itself out in the hope that more words would fix everything.
“I have a small pile of jewels I’ve collected from unexpected places around the castle.
Most of them seem to be diamonds, though some of the colors made me a little unsure, and I think I’ve found some rubies and sapphires too. ”
“Where have you been keeping them?”
“Under my side of the mattress.”
A smirk lifted his voice. “I don’t mind you stealing from the castle I have claimed. Everything in it became yours the moment we married. You could pull every diamond out of the woodwork, pile them under your bed, and only find ill effects from sleeping on rocks.”
My whole body relaxed with his words. He didn’t hate me. Or at least, I hadn’t ruined our precarious relationship by pilfering a collection of jewels from strange places.
He eased away from me and shifted his hands to my shoulders. “What about the others?”
“The others?” What could he mean by that?
“I have a dozen nobles who are missing jewels, rings, or cufflink gems.”
The cufflink reminded me of the moment I’d stolen it from Dedalus, and a hot anger ran though my hands again. “I hope Dedalus has turned over every cushion in his room looking for his cufflink.”
Bylur’s hands shook as he laughed out loud. Not the reaction I expected, but I’d take it. “You could have returned it after you reconciled.”
I folded my arms. “He still glares at me.”
“He glares at everyone.”
“Well that hardly encourages me to seek him out and confess to nicking his cufflink when he was acting like a barbarian.”
Bylur laughed again. “Oh, Auria. Would that I could look at you properly.” He squeezed my shoulders. “And did the other nobles also commit crimes that required your larcenous justice?”
I sighed. “No. Most of them were just curiosity.”
His sigh was longer and more measured than mine. “I would like you to return them, hopefully without ruining their cooperation in the council.”
I nodded. “It’s not an unreasonable request.”
A puff of air almost sounded like he was entertained by my comment. “I’m happy to know I’m not entirely unreasonable.”
I grinned. “Not entirely, for sure, but I do have a question that I haven’t been able to figure out. And you don’t have to tell me if it’s too personal, but I’ve been awfully curious.”
He squeezed my shoulders gently. “Go on.”
“Why don’t you want to be king?” He didn’t answer, so I added, “It seems like a lot of people want you to be, and setting up your council has been a lot of work, so I just wondered why you’d go to all the trouble.”
He was silent for a few more seconds, then he breathed out a very long sigh. “I will tell you, but I do not want you to tell anyone else.”
I could do that. “I promise not to tell anyone else.”
He huffed. “You promise so easily.”
I folded my arms. “But I do not break promises. It’s different than lying or stealing. I… I don’t know how to make you understand.”
“But I will risk it anyway,” he said, “out of gratitude for your honesty, despite the vulnerable position it’s put you in.”
Did that mean he was offering some vulnerability of his own?
“I do not want to be king because kings and queens have led to more misery in Kalshana than anything else. The Snow Queen was horrible, but she started the war because her parents had been horrible. Before them, a cousin. It’s been one chain of rulers who made everyone in Kalshana suffer.
I don’t trust myself to break that chain.
I’d rather set up a group that can moderate each other than let any one person try again, even if that person is me. ”
That was sweet and endearing and utterly heartbreaking. “Bylur, that… is really noble. I think if you told everyone, they would be more inclined to agree with your council.”
“Auria, you promised.”
“And you’ll see that I will keep that promise. I just want you to know that I’ll support you if you decide to tell anyone else.”
* * *
I smoothed the fabric of one of the most ornate dresses that Brittania had sent to me and chewed the inside of my lip. Rat perched on my shoulder like he knew I needed emotional support, and we stared at the door to the kitchen.
A maid with her arms full of dirty platters approached the kitchen, dropped into a silent curtsy in front of us, and then slipped inside the kitchen. A flurry of urgent whispers followed her, and I bit my lip even harder.
What was I thinking? I’d avoided the kitchen for weeks, since I’d confessed my bread-stealing to Bylur, but he’d told me I could come and ask for some. I just needed to pretend I was actually the lady everyone here believed me to be.
Kusan, the head cook, opened the door and curtsied in front of me. Her two children and Monspen, the dishwasher, poked their heads out of the door. Kusan stood up and folded her hands in front of her waist. “My lady. Is there something we can help you with?”
I folded my hands as well, resisting the urge to wring them like a child. “I assume Bylur told you about the bread?”
She tipped her head. “No, my lady. I wouldn’t presume to speak to my lord.”
“But—” My own nerves fell away as I realized I didn’t need to pretend anything. Bylur had not lied. She would give me any bread I asked for. I could have come in rags, and it wouldn’t have made a difference. “Bylur said you reported missing bread?”