Chapter 21 Auria
Hot pain poured into my chest. I clutched at my heart and screamed, but no sound came out. Darkness masked the cruel laughter. So much darkness.
One of my tormentors touched my shoulder. I jumped away and screamed again, but this time my yells came out as a muffled moan.
My eyes flew open. I still couldn’t see anything, but a familiar voice whispered my name. “Auria. Auria, it was a dream. You’re safe here.”
That voice. The one I’d heard but never actually seen. “Bylur?” My voice was ragged, and I was panting, so the word came out as a strangled whisper.
“Yes.” He squeezed my shoulder. “You’re in our room with me, and I would destroy anyone who tried to hurt you.”
I set my hand on his and traced his knuckles with my thumb. Real. So very real. And safe. I took a slow, shuddery breath and tried to imagine what our room looked like. “I can’t see anything.”
“No,” he said slowly. “The moon is large tonight, and I did not want to risk you seeing my face. When I decided to wake you from your dream, I covered us in shadows.”
“I hate the dark.” And I hated how my whisper trembled.
“Oh, my precious snowdrop,” he whispered back, letting go of my shoulder.
He shifted and then reached under my arms, gently tugging me up to sit next to him.
I leaned back and realized he’d pulled me up against his chest. He wore a light tunic that did nothing to stop the thrill I felt at being so close to him.
He wrapped an arm around my waist, and then hesitated. “Is this acceptable?”
I curled into his perfectly sculpted chest. If he was going to invite me to get this close, I was going to take advantage of every drop of security he offered.
His arm tightened around me. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He stroked my back with his free hand. “Will you tell me of your nightmares?”
I tipped my head up toward him. “There was more than one?”
His hand kept stroking a steady rhythm across my back, over and over. “This was the third time I’ve noticed. The first two times, you rolled around a bit, and the dream seemed to leave on its own. This one lasted longer, and you seemed… more tortured.”
I blew out a shuddery breath and buried my face in the fabric of his tunic. “I’d have to tell you about the elves.” They were memories I tried to avoid, but I couldn’t push them away in my sleep.
“I would like to know.” His voice was full of warmth, full of that safety that he always brought.
I once thought I’d never trust another soul—that the world was full of back-stabbing friends, cruel soldiers, and terrible kings—but here, snuggled against a ruler who chose not to be king, who’d kept his promises to me even when it was terribly inconvenient, I wanted to finally open all the locks on my heart and trust someone besides a bird to have my back.
I took one bracing breath and unclamped my mouth.
“When I was ten, an explosion at the brickyard my parents ran killed them both. Soldiers found me by their bodies and took me to an elven castle. The elf queen was collecting human slaves and had her soldiers looking for orphans. The elf in charge of us was horrible, and I told her—”
My voice caught, and I swallowed. “I told her what I thought of her. She locked me in a dark room and punished me with magic pain.” I tapped my chest. “She just poured it inside of me.”
Bylur stiffened, and his voice came out hard. “A human ten-year old. How close is that to adulthood?”
“About half way.” I rubbed my chest, and he shifted a hand up to hold mine.
“That is terrible. If I knew how to find her, I would stop her from ever hurting another child again.” His voice was low and dark, and I knew he meant every word. “It would be ethical to decimate the entire palace to end such cruelty to children.”
A shiver ran down my back. That was more violent than I’d expected.
“They weren’t all like that. I only escaped because another elf broke the magic that she used to punish me and snuck me out of the castle.
He took me to the edge of their kingdom and told me to follow a path to Hemlit’s castle.
The elf prince there was supposed to be more helpful, but there was some curse on his palace at the time.
I settled into a life of servant work and stealing in the cities around the cursed capital until I grew up. ”
“And you were never arrested?”
I smirked into his tunic. “Never properly caught. At least, not until the day I met you.”
He shifted. “Was it my fault they found you?”
I shook my head. “No. I was bound to get caught eventually. Everything just happened to go wrong that day.”
“Not everything.” His hand stilled on my back. “I am glad you ran into my grotto.”
A heat blossomed in my chest. After all the things I’d done that had interrupted and complicated his life, he was glad to have me here. I wrapped both arms around his waist and leaned my face against his chest. “Me too.”
He pressed a kiss into the hair on the top of my head, surrounding me in a warm feeling of perfect bliss. He held me—me and my worst memories and biggest faults and constant fears—wrapped up in the safety between his arms and a sweet kiss.
And I never wanted to leave.
* * *
I woke up with a start when the bed collapsed beneath me.
Morning sunlight streamed in the window. I had fallen asleep leaning against Bylur—in his fae form—in the middle of the night. Now he was a bear. I scrambled away from him and the broken side of the bed.
He groaned and stretched his front legs out in front of him like a dog waking up. “I must have fallen asleep holding you,” he grumbled. “My apologies.”
“Oh no.” I slid off my side of the bed. “Don’t you dare apologize for being amazing.”
“Amazing?” He arched one big, white brow. “Breaking the bed is amazing?”
I shrugged. “It’s not your fault you weigh as much as a house.”
The door to the bedroom slammed open, and Ivodar rushed in from the sitting room with his sword drawn.
He saw Bylur and skidded to a stop. Then his gaze skipped to the bed, to me, and finally stayed on his feet as he bowed.
“My lady. I heard the crash from my post in the hall and thought you had an intruder. I didn’t realize your pet… ”
I grabbed my robe off the chair next to the bed and wrapped it over my night dress. “I appreciate your attention, Ivodar. As you can see, I’m fine. Bylur suggested that the bear come inside the castle.”
“Yes, my lady.” He bowed again and hustled back out. The door from the sitting room to the hall clicked loudly as he returned to his post.
“Bylur suggested?” The bear’s gravelly voice couldn’t hide his humor.
I grinned at him. “You didn’t not suggest it.”
“Sometimes,” he growled, “your lies are terribly adorable.”
I threw a pillow at his head. “Turn around so I can change clothes.”
He huffed and batted at the pillow but plopped his rump down on the floor facing away from me. “You let me hold you all night, but now you want privacy?”
I hung the nightdress and robe in the wardrobe, stepped into a day dress, and reached behind me to work on the buttons.
“I’m no longer reeling from a nightmare.
I’m sure I’ll have all kinds of ideas about modesty now.
” Would I, though? My face heated as I realized I would enjoy snuggling up against Bylur any night, whether or not I had nightmares.
He dropped his head to the ground, still facing away from me. “Would that I could enter your mind and slay the demons you’ve carried all these years.”
My fingers stilled around a button. He said that with such conviction that I felt it through his bear voice, right in my heart. It was a thing he wished for me. It had nothing to do with our marriage agreement or my ability to end his curse. It was simply a good thing he wanted for me.
My heart felt as light as a cloud—like if he said one more sweet thing it might just float out of my chest until it could settle in his hands.
I finished the buttons and sat down next to his big head. “Maybe you could hold me again tonight? As a nightmare prevention tactic?”
He smiled. His massive teeth and huge jaws made the gesture look absolutely feral, but I felt a rush of joy behind his expression.
Maybe it was the light in his eyes? Or the tilt of his lips?
I don’t know how I saw it, but it warmed my whole heart.
My words had made him happy, and I wanted to do it again.
It was a thousand times better than worrying him with my thoughtless stealing or lying.
Three quick knocks on the door between the sitting room and the hall broke the moment.
A pause, and then two more knocks identified our visitor. “Brielle’s here,” I said, standing.
Bylur lifted a furry brow. “You have a secret knock?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, but it isn’t very secret if she keeps doing it in front of the guards.”
A low rumble filled his belly, and I was sure if he’d been in his fae form, he would have laughed out loud.
Brielle’s voice drifted in from the sitting room as she let herself in. “I’m sure she won’t mind.” Her eyes caught on me, and she scurried into the bedroom to take my hand. “Auria! You’re dressed! Let’s go!”
“Go?” Where would she—
“To Brittania’s! I’ve already sent her a message, so she’ll be expecting us. We have to get dresses for the ball tomorrow!”
* * *
Brittania pinched a handful of fabric at my waist, and sang, “Holding still now. Pins are coming.”
“I haven’t moved anything besides my hands and my mouth yet,” I reminded her, pinching off another tiny bite of baguette and dropping it into my mouth.
“I’ve never seen another noble insist on eating while I worked.” She muttered the words, but I heard the smile behind them. “This will be the most wonderful dress I’ve made for you yet. Do you have a necklace to go with it?”
I had half a dozen necklaces I’d stolen when I’d been exploring the castle during my first few weeks here. But that wasn’t a good answer. Fortunately, the door flew open and saved me from speaking.