20. Knox
20
KNOX
“ H ello?” The greeting sounds like a question, but I understand why. Selene is probably just as confused as I am about why I called her. Although I did think about it before I did it, it is impulsive in a way because I’m still left wondering exactly what it is I’m doing.
“Hey, picosita,” is the only thing I can think of to say. I’m definitely not prepared to talk to her, yet I jumped off that cliff with a flying leap.
“This is a pleasant surprise. Why’d you call?”
Good question , I think. I know it’s because I wanted to hear her voice, but I don’t think she’s ready to hear that.
“I just wanted to—” I start, then pause. “I thought it might be easier to talk on the phone.” That reasoning sounds lame to my ears.
“But talk about what?” Selene asks. I can almost see the way she’s tilting her head, a half-smile playing on her lips.
“The book we’re joint reading together? Sports? The weather?” Each suggestion I make sounds worse than the last.
Selene doesn’t say a word at first but then she laughs, a bright and infectious sound that makes me grip the phone tighter.
“Knox, that might be the dorkiest thing I’ve ever heard,” she says with a small giggle. Add a point to the tally for me. “But let’s talk. What are you up to?”
“Nothing really. Just hanging in my hotel room by myself.”
“So, what's a big, strong hockey player like you doing all alone in his room on a Thursday night?” Selene teases, her voice low and playful. “Don't you have hordes of girls beating down your door?”
“You think I’m big?”
“Of course that’s the first thing you pick up on.”
I snort, shaking my head even though she can't see me. “I’m just going to keep that in mind.” I wait a beat before I continue. “I gave all the ladies a night off. Figured I'd grace you with my presence instead.”
“Wow, I'm honored,” she drawls. “And here I thought you only called me when you were bored or desperate.”
I chuckle, even though her words sting a little because they’re not entirely inaccurate. Still, I appreciate the banter. It’s easier than diving into the real reason I called, which I’m not ready to admit to.
“Come on, picosita,” I say, trying to regain some ground. “You know I value our... whatever this is.”
“Friendship?” she offers, and for some reason, the way she says it makes me think she’s testing the word out, seeing if it fits.
“Yeah, friendship,” I agree, though my chest tightens. “So, have you finished the last chapter yet?”
Selene sighs dramatically. “Of course I have. Unlike some people, I take our joint reading very seriously.”
“I'm just savoring it,” I lie. The truth is, I've been swamped with training and games, and when I do have a moment to breathe, my mind's been elsewhere. Mainly on Selene and how this thing between us is evolving. It's freaking me out more than I'm willing to admit.
“Savoring,” she repeats, clearly skeptical. “Well, it's not like Tolstoy. You could finish it in an hour if you really tried.”
“I'll get there. Maybe tonight before bed,” I promise. “So what did you think of the twist?”
She launches into a passionate analysis, her voice animated and full of life. I let her words wash over me, half listening because what really fascinates me is how much she cares about this and the sound of her voice. It's one of the things I've come to admire about her, even if it sometimes intimidates me. As she dissects the plot and character motivations, I find myself smiling. This is why I called, I realize. Not just to hear her voice, but to feel connected to her in this way, to share something more than just text messages, which can feel impersonal.
“...but I won't spoil it for you,” Selene finishes. “You better catch up soon.”
“I will,” I say. “I want to know what happens next.”
“Do you?” she asks. The tone of her voice makes me think she's talking about more than just the book.
“Yeah,” I say slowly. “I do.”
There's a pause, and in the silence I can almost hear the gears in her mind turning.
“Well then,” she finally says, her voice gentler now, “you'd better read fast.”
“I will,” I repeat, this time with more conviction. “Promise.”
“So, are you ready for the game tomorrow?”
“I hope so. Are you going to watch? My invitation for you to come to one of my games still stands.”
“Maybe I’ll watch. I do have a bunch of homework to catch up on,” she admits.
“I get it.”
“Wait. Is Knox pouting? I didn’t know it meant so much to you for me to watch or attend.”
I didn’t either. Until now.
“I'm just saying,” I add, “it'd be cool to have a friend cheering me on.”
“Ah, a friend,” Selene repeats. I swear I can hear her smirking through the phone. “Well, friend, I'll see what I can do.”
Having her admit to being friends is a step up from where we were, but does this friendzone this whole situation? I'm not sure.
“So what are you up to?” I ask quickly before the conversation potentially comes to an end before I’m ready.
“Nothing really. I just got done taking a shower. Then I was doom scrolling and texting you.”
That explains the gap between her texts. I don’t even try to stop the image of her wrapped in a towel, water dripping down her body. Damn, I wish she was here right now. I’d be annoyed that the fabric is covering the parts of her that I want to see the most. I can almost feel the heat radiating from her body, smell the faint scent of her fruity shampoo. My hands itch to pull the towel away so that I can run my fingers over all of her curves.
In my mind, she steps closer, her breath warm against my chest as she looks up at me with those big, expressive eyes. I snatch the towel from her grasp, and I?—
Fuck, why am I torturing myself like this?
“Knox? You still there?” Selene's voice pulls me back to reality, and I shake my head to clear the vivid daydream.
“Yeah, sorry. Just... thinking.”
“About what?” she asks.
“About how nice it would be to have you here,” I say before I can stop myself. The silence that follows is deafening, and I immediately regret the confession.
“Here?” she finally says, her voice smaller now. “In your hotel room?”
“Yeah. To hang out and do other things.” Why can’t I just say it?
“Like what?”
“You’re really going to make me spell it out for you?”
That causes her to chuckle, but this one is low and breathy. “Yes, I am.”
This conversation is shifting hard and fast into dangerous territory, but I can't seem to stop myself. It's like we're on a runaway train, speeding out of control. The smart thing would be to pull the emergency brake, to steer us back to safer ground since this chapter is so new for us, but a bigger part of me doesn't want to.
“If you were here, I'd want to kiss you,” I say, my voice rough. “Everywhere. I'd want to taste your skin, feel your body against mine.”
Selene inhales sharply. “Knox...”
“I'd lay you down on the bed,” I continue, emboldened by her response. “Take my time exploring every inch of you. Spend hours making up for our first time together. Fuck the hockey game.”
“If only I could teleport, I'd be there in a heartbeat, letting you do all those delicious things to me.”
I groan, my free hand making its way toward my sweatpants. “Don't tease me like that, Selene. It's not fair.”
“Who says I'm teasing?” she challenges. “Maybe I'm touching myself right now, pretending it's your hands on me.”
Fuck. The mental image is so vivid that I'm instantly rock hard. I can picture her sprawled out on her bed, one hand between her thighs as the other holding the phone to her ear. The thought of her getting herself off to the sound of my voice is almost too much to handle.
“Are you?” I ask hoarsely. “Touching yourself?”
There's a pause, and then, “Yes. Wishing it was you.”
A strangled noise escapes my throat. “Fuck, Selene. What are you doing to me?”
“Exactly what you're doing to me,” she whispers. “Making me so horny I can barely stand it.”
I manage to release a shaky breath. “I want you so bad right now. You have no idea.”
A soft moan drifts through the phone. “I think I have a pretty good idea,” Selene says. “Because I want you just as much.”
I want to question how we got to this point, but that would be foolish. My hand slips beneath the waistband of my sweatpants, fingers curling around my dick. I give myself a slow stroke, imagining it's her touch instead of mine. “Tell me what you're doing,” I demand. “I want to hear every detail.”
“I'm running my fingers over my…clit,” she reveals, a small gasp punctuating her words. “Circling and rubbing, pretending it's your tongue.”
“Fuck yes,” I groan, pumping my hand faster. “I'd devour you, lick and suck until you forget your name. The only thing you can do is beg me for more.”
“I'm so close already,” Selene whimpers. “Just from thinking about your mouth on me.”
“I bet you taste amazing,” I growl, my grip tightening as I imagine burying my face between her thighs. “I'd stay down there for hours, making you come over and over until you can't take it anymore.”
“Please, Knox,” she begs breathlessly. “I need you.”
My hips jerk at her words, thrusting into my fist. “Just imagine I’m there with you. Pinning you down and driving into you deep and hard.”
“Yes, just like that,” Selene moans. “Don't stop. I'm going to...I'm...”
“That's it, come for me,” I command roughly. “Let me hear you.”
A sharp cry pierces the phone as Selene falls off the edge with my name on her lips. The only sound I can hear is the harshness of her breath as she tries to catch it.
“That was?—”
“Amazing,” I finish for her. “I don’t mean to be an asshole, but I need to go because I have something I need to take care of.”
“Wait, what? Do you…Oh.”
I let out a quick laugh. “Yeah, oh. I’m going to take a nice cold shower, but I’ll text you when I’m done, picosita. Deal?”
“Deal.”